5. Mhmm… Fixer Upper
Mhmm… Fixer Upper
Cara
Today
‘Oh, sweet girl.’ I look up from my hands in my lap to the comfortingly familiar smiling, if moist, eyes of Doris, my new friend. ‘Your grandma did want you in her life.’
‘Yeah, Mum wrote to Roberta, told her she’d had me, sent photos, told her when I started walking, started school, all the moments, you know?’
‘There was a lot of regret.’
‘I think there was. They were just all too stubborn to do anything about it, and now it’s too late. I’m so mad at my dad, too. He kept up with this stupid secret even after Mum died when he could have just told me. I could have had fifteen years of knowing my grandmother, even though I should have had thirty.’
Doris reaches over and squeezes my hand.
‘Don’t walk into this new adventure angrily, honey. It won’t serve you well.’
I smile. ‘I know. Truth is, I don’t really know how to be angry for too long. It’s not something I’ve ever done before.’
Doris chuckles. ‘Oh, Cara, you are a funny little thing.’
We landed in Dublin and hugged as I headed off to get a coffee, and Doris went to stretch her legs.
I bought a magazine, and some snacks for the long flight to Chicago, then headed over to the gate to wait.
When it came time for boarding, and the first passengers were called, I sat back in the hard plastic seating to wait for my turn.
‘Come on, then.’
I look up to see Doris standing in front of me, a travel pillow already wrapped around her neck as she hands me a new boarding pass.
‘What is…’
It has my name on it, and it says: business class.
‘I thought we deserved a little more comfort while we continue our conversation.’ She winks, and I stare at her dumbfounded. ‘Well, get your butt moving. They’re calling us.’
‘You upgraded us?’ I squeak as I follow her onto the plane, and she chuckles.
‘Well, I upgraded you. I was already in Business Class.’
‘Why?’
Doris doesn’t answer as she allows the steward to settle us into our neighboring seats. When we’re alone and seated, she turns her body toward me and smiles.
‘I figured I could spend the next eight or so hours next to a complete stranger, or I could spend it next to my new friend. I love traveling solo, Cara, but it can get a little lonely at times.’
Oh, Doris. This sweet woman.
‘Thank you. This is incredibly kind of you.’
‘Oh, it’s no bother, really. Now, tell me more about what’s next for you. What are you going to do with the house?’
‘Honestly, I really don’t know. I’ll be okay financially for a bit, but I have no idea how much work it’s going to need or what it’ll cost.’
‘And are you planning on staying in town?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve hardly ever even left my wee village, let alone moved my entire life to another country. I’m not sure I’ll be cut out for a life in the States.’
‘Forest Falls is a beautiful little town. I bet you’ll fit right in.’ I snap my gaze to hers. ‘Oops.’
‘You know Forest Falls?’
‘I do, sweetheart. I lived there once upon a time.’ She smiles and my lips part in surprise.
‘Doris, why didn’t you say?’
‘Well, I didn’t want you to drill me for information. You have to figure it all out for yourself, Cara, and I think you know that.’
I nod. I do know that, but still, small bloody world.
‘So, I can’t ask you anything at all?’
‘You can ask, don’t mean I’ll answer.’ She winks, and I can’t help but laugh. ‘Now, buckle up and get ready for take-off, and think about what you want to ask. I’ll give you one piece of information, so make sure you ask the right question.’
She sits back in her seat, looking smug, and I consider what she said. What do I really want to know? Until I get there, I can’t really know what my questions are. No point asking about the nearest supermarket or hospital, what the weather is like in June, or if it snows at Christmas. Besides, she doesn’t live there anymore, so her information is probably out of date. Then it hits me, out of date , she used to live there, used to … just like my mum.
‘Did you know my mum, Charlotte Reynolds?’ I ask once we reach altitude and the seatbelt lights turn off. Doris turns to me, gifting me a soft smile, and I know the answer before she voices it.
‘I did, sweetheart. I knew your grandparents and Charlotte. I left town when she was young, thirteen or so, but I did know that she had left town—gossip travels on the wind, you know, and I heard that she passed away. I’m sorry that you lost her, Cara. That was so unfair.’
Tears prick my eyes at the reality that this larger-than-life woman, who I met on a flight from Glasgow, knew my mum. I can’t believe it. I can’t speak. Doris reaches over and takes my hand.
‘The world is a lot smaller than we realize, sweetheart.’ She squeezes my hand. ‘I haven’t lived in Forest Falls for over thirty years, so I can’t claim to know much about the town these days, but I know you’re going to be fine, honey. You’re one of theirs, and they’re going to love you.’
One of theirs. The thought feels strange, like wearing shoes that are too big. They do the job—keep your feet warm and dry, but they’re not quite comfortable, and you keep slipping out of them. One of theirs; in my heart, I hope that’s true. It’s comforting to hope they open their arms to me, but somehow, I’m not sure it will be that simple.
Doris gave me her number. She had a layover before her flight to Charleston, so we said goodbye in Chicago with her advice about finding what I’m good at and making it a job and her promise that she would only be a call or a three-hour drive away if I needed her. It was nice to have a friend, albeit one who was older than my dad; beggars can’t be choosers.
Now I’m walking through an airport I don’t know, laden with bags, and looking for a woman I’ve never met. Not to mention, I’m exhausted. I tried so hard to take advantage of the lay-flat seat bed thingies on the flight to Chicago, but I was so nervous, full of all this anxious energy, and so many questions I wanted to ask the sleeping Doris, that every time I closed my eyes, they sprung back open.
‘Cara?’
My heart leaps in my chest as I lay eyes on the woman smiling wide and waving frantically at me.
‘Marissa?’
‘Missy, please. Hey, how are you?’
She wraps me in a hug and starts to take some of my bags from me. I’m about to protest when she pulls a trolley to her side and begins loading it up.
‘Is this all you brought?’ I nod, thinking I brought a ridiculous amount of stuff. ‘You’re moving your whole life here, and this is it? Meh,’ she shrugs, ‘this means we get to go shopping.’
‘Well, I don’t know if I’m moving yet. I’m here for a bit, but I don’t know how long. Most of my stuff is in storage.’
Missy chuckles as she pushes the trolley toward the exit.
‘This is South Carolina, honey. Once you’re in, you won’t want to leave.’
I smile politely, too tired to ask any questions for once in my life and follow her out.
The warmth hits me as we exit the airport. It feels lovely on my exhausted body, like a hug that, to be honest, only makes me sleepier. I hope Missy isn’t expecting a rousing conversation.
‘This is me,’ Missy says as we reach her car.
We load up my bags and settle in. The sun through the windows has warmed the seat, and I find myself sinking into it.
‘You must be so tired. Why don’t you get some shut-eye?’ Missy says with a soft smile, and guilt tugs at me.
‘We’ve only just met. It would be very rude of me to just climb in your car and fall asleep.’
She laughs. ‘Cara, you’ve been traveling for an entire day, and we’re going to be driving for a couple of hours. We have plenty of time to get to know each other. Get comfy.’
As she pulls out of the car park and starts to drive us toward my new home, I realize that, rude or not, there’s nothing I can do to stop my eyes from closing. With the gentle murmur of the car on the road and the sun warming my skin through the windows, I give in and grab that shut-eye my new pal suggested.
The rumble of tires on gravel shocks me awake, and I open my eyes, taking a moment to figure out where I am.
‘You back in the land of the living?’ the sweet voice next to me says, and I turn to see Missy smiling at me. ‘You were out .’
Missy laughs as I check for drool and sit up to rake my fingers across my scalp and wake myself up.
‘Welcome home, honey,’ Missy says softly, holding up a key, singular, and I widen my eyes, first at her and then at the building in front of us.
I hadn’t realized we were parked in a driveway.
‘This is it?’ I ask quietly, and she nods, handing me the key.
‘Mhmm… fixer-upper.’
We reach for the door handles at the same time, and both climb out of the car. My body protests my movement, groaning with the stiffness of a full day of travel, but I don’t have time to worry about that because in front of me is the shell of what was clearly once a very beautiful house, but is now close to a teardown.
‘Needs a lot of work.’
I’m starting to panic. ‘Work? I can’t believe it’s still standing.’ Fuck, fuck . What the hell have I done?
‘You okay?’
‘What am I going to do?’ I ask, trying not to cry when I feel her arms wrap around me. God, I can’t remember the last time I had a hug that wasn’t from my dad, and Missy has done it twice in one day.
‘Come on, come back to my house. We’ll play with my kid for a bit. Then, when he’s asleep, we can get takeout, drink wine and figure this out.’
She guides me back toward her car, and I turn to look back up at the house one more time.
Help, Mum, I send up silently. Please show me what I’m supposed to do here.
Roberta never did anything without having a plan. That’s what Missy told me as we drove away from the house, my face hidden behind my hands. I couldn’t speak. I could hardly think straight as we drove the hour to pick up her son and then to her house. Now I’m sitting on her sofa with a glass of wine in my hand, contemplating if it’s still too soon to book a flight home while she’s putting her three-year-old son, Jonah, to bed.
This was a mistake. I wanted to be brave and show that I could throw caution to the wind and take a risk, and it blew up in my face. The house is a total wreck, and I just wish I hadn’t answered that phone when it rang. If I’d just concentrated on my fajitas and ignored the call, I never would have known about the house. I’d be in my old room at my dad’s house, safe and sound.
I know my grandmother left me money, but I don’t know how much yet, and I know the money from the sale of my house back in Scotland is sitting, gathering the measly interest that my bank pays out, but this house that I’ve spent weeks dreaming about needs rebuilding from the ground up. Completely. There was no glass in the majority of the windows I could see. The garden is practically a jungle. The wood is worn, weathered, battered, and broken, and I don’t even know where to begin.
I left my whole life, my job, and my dad for a house that’s falling down.
‘He’s down,’ she says as she flops down onto the sofa next to me. ‘Pizza or Thai food?’
I smile and shrug my shoulders.
‘Are you going to cry? I would cry. It’s okay if you need to cry.’
I straighten and take some deep breaths, then turn to face Missy.
‘I’m not going to cry.’ I blow out a breath. ‘I want to cry, but I’m not going to. I just need to go home.’
Her eyes widen. ‘No, you can’t go home. I never had a sister before, and you’re the closest I’ll ever get, and I could use a friend too. I lost all mine when I got knocked up, and they were all still partying four nights out of seven. Please stay, Cara.’ She looks so vulnerable and genuine, and it makes my heart beat a little faster.
‘I could use a friend too,’ I admit, and she smiles, then reaches out for my hand.
‘You came here for a reason. What was it?’
‘The house. I just…’
‘You didn’t come here for a house, Cara. You didn’t leave your whole life for a house. What’s the real reason?’
I think about it for a moment and release a deep sigh.
‘I wanted to prove that I could take a chance, roll with the punches more, not get my knickers in a twist over things.’
‘Knickers twisted or panties bunched,’ she smiles, ‘you can do this, Cara, and I may live an hour away, but I’m here for you, okay.’
Missy holds out her arms, and I smile as I lean into her hug.
‘I should go and take a look inside,’ I say, releasing her.
‘I don’t want to make the situation seem more dramatic, but I’m not sure you should go inside that house without a contractor. The place is a wreck on the outside. I don’t want you falling through the floor or having a ceiling land on you.’
Fucking hell.
‘Where am I going to stay?’
‘You were planning to move straight into the house?’
‘Well, yeah. When your grandmother tells you she’s leaving you a house, there’s an assumption that the house will be something you can actually move into. Oh fuck.’ Now I’m panicking. ‘Missy, I just moved here, and I have nowhere to live.’
‘It’s okay. You can stay with me as long as you need. Or I can take you into town. There’s bound to be a motel or something, right?’
‘Okay, yeah. Town. Motel.’
‘Cara, this is going to work out. Roberta left the house to you for a reason, and she didn’t do anything she wasn’t completely certain of.’ Well, I guess we had that in common. ‘Come on, let’s get some food in us and make a plan. You’ve got this.’