26. Don’t Look So Scared
Don’t Look So Scared
Cara
What the hell was I thinking?
Did I seriously just suggest we hook up in secret? The man I’ve spent days crying over. One little bottom stair chat, and I’m suggesting the most ridiculous setup ever. This isn’t me—but it’s him . He makes me think and feel things I’ve never thought or felt before, including infuriated. I’ve always been too worried about the fallout to let myself get angry with people in the past. Yet, with Doug, I don’t seem to be able to hold anything back.
He hurt me, yes, but his explanation made so much sense that I felt the hurt and anger seeping out of me as he talked.
A secret what though? Relationship? Casual sex? Oh my god. I can’t have sex with Doug. He’s sex on legs. Although he’s out of practice, maybe my inexperience and his rustiness will match up. Not that I would have any idea how to touch a man like that. He oozes sex.
Ah, who am I kidding? Even when trying to avoid me, he was ridiculously sexy. I’m pretty sure if I ever got him in my bed, he would break me. I’d completely malfunction.
I head into the kitchen to see the pie he brought sitting on the counter, and I reach into the drawer to pull out a fork. I only have one right now. Just a single set Zoe sent me up here with so that I could eat before I’ve been shopping for kitchen essentials.
I dig in and scoop a forkful of the pie into my mouth, moaning as the flavors explode across my tongue. I swallow, my eyes closed, then gasp as strong arms wrap around my waist from behind.
‘You really should lock your door,’ he growls into the crook of my neck, causing goosebumps to spring up across my skin. ‘I thought about it.’
I steady my breath as he presses his lips to my shoulder and starts to trail his fingers up the front of my thigh.
‘Oh, and what did you come up with?’
God, I sound like I just ran a marathon. I can hardly talk. I’m breathing so hard.
‘I can’t stay away from you.’
I tremble against him as his fingers reach the apex of my thighs, and he stops, pushing against me from behind. The hard ridge of his erection is pressed into my backside.
‘I need to touch you.’ His lips move against my skin; his low voice vibrates through me, and I lean my head back against his shoulder.
‘Touch me.’
My whisper is the green light he needs. The arm wrapped around my waist tightens, holding me in position, while the fingers of his other hand work their way into my shorts, and he slides his fingers through my wetness.
My lips part, and the breath rushes from my lungs at the way he touches me like nobody ever has, like nobody ever tried to.
He pushes his hand down and dips two fingers inside me, as far as he can reach from this angle, and I push down, desperate and needy for more.
‘I want to take you to bed. I want to explore and worship every part of your body. I want to spend hours making love to you, but right now, I just need to fuck you.’
He grips my hip at the waistband of my shorts and pulls me back against him, groaning against my neck at the delicious contact between our bodies.
His fingers wrap around the elastic, but he waits. Permission. He wants my permission.
I bring my hands to his and push, encouraging him, and it’s all he needs. He yanks my shorts down my thighs and pushes me forward, the hard edge of the quartz pressing against my hip bones. He reaches out and pushes the pie out of the way before his hand runs up my back and encourages me to lower my chest to the counter; here? Right here?
His hand moves against my bare skin in time with the sound of his zipper lowering, and I marvel at the sound of our breaths, the music still playing on my phone, and the feel of his fingers on me once more.
Then he’s there, pressing against my entrance, and I don’t have time to think as my body takes charge, and I push back. Doug chuckles, deep and delicious.
‘Needy.’ He groans, and I nod, lowering my cheek to the cool quartz. ‘I’ll give you what you need, baby.’
He moves one hand around the front of my thigh and starts to stroke his fingertips over my sensitive bud. I moan at the contact, then gasp, my mouth wide as he inches forward, my body opening and accepting him easily.
‘ Fuck ,’ he hisses, ‘you feel so fucking good.’
Oh, I like that. Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before, and I feel him drive forward.
‘You like that? You like hearing how good your pussy feels wrapped around my cock?’
Oh god … I do. I nod.
‘Words, baby.’
‘Yes, yes, I like it.’
My breaths come hard as I feel him wrap his hand around my ponytail and pull my head back away from the counter.
‘Let me hear how much you love it when I fuck you.’
His voice is so low, so deep and gravelly, and I shiver as he releases my hair, grips my hips in his hands, and pulls back before thrusting hard into me.
I scream out, unable to hold back and hear him groan with pleasure behind me before he pulls back again and drives in, out, in, increasing the pace and force of his thrusts as a pleasure I didn’t know existed has me calling out and clutching at thin air.
One hand moves back between my legs, and he rubs in time with his thrusts into me.
‘You’re squeezing me so good, Cara. You’re going to make me come so hard.’ He exhales the words, and I hear the pleasure in his voice.
He feels good—my body is making him feel good. The thought makes me tighten, clenching as ecstasy starts calling me toward the edge.
‘You’re going to come, baby.’ He groans. ‘I can feel you, so wet and tight for me. Let me hear you, Cara. Let me feel you.’
That’s my undoing. His words give my body the permission it needs to fall. I call out. Erotic moans leave my mouth as my body floats, pleasure ripping through me that only intensifies when I feel Doug thrust harder, faster, and I hear his groans of pleasure, feel him coming inside me before he stills, both of us breathing hard, his hands stroking my back tenderly.
I moan absent-mindedly as he pulls out, and he chuckles as he slides my shorts back up my thighs and into position, then steps back. I turn to watch him zipping up his jeans, looking at the space between us, and I freeze. Is he going to run again?
A slow, unbelievably sexy smile curves his mouth, then he steps forward. I squeal as he sweeps me up into his arms and leans in to kiss me.
‘Shower,’ he grunts before making for the stairs.
Upstairs, Doug deposits me in the bedroom before heading into the bathroom and turning on the shower. I stand still, waiting for him, and he smirks as he stalks back toward me. He pulls off his shirt, and I swallow hard at the sight of his body. My eyes lower, taking all of him in as his hands come to his jeans and lower the zipper once more. But he doesn’t take them off. Instead, he steps forward, grips the bottom of my top, and raises it up over my head and off.
‘Oh, Jesus, help me,’ he whispers, looking up to the ceiling for a moment.
He trails a finger down my bare breast, across my nipple, which peaks at the contact.
‘You’re incredibly sexy, Cara,’ Doug groans as he lowers to his knees in front of me and pulls my shorts down my legs. I step out of them and stand, completely naked, in front of this beautiful sexy man. ‘Goddam.’
Doug stands and toes off his trainers, whispering a soft sorry, and I smile—he’s sorry for not taking his shoes off before now.
‘Get in the shower. I don’t want this illusion of perfection being ruined for you by you having to watch me take off my socks.’
I laugh, then shriek as he smacks my arse when I pass him.
I brace my hands on the sink and take in my reflection. The woman I recognize would never have let herself be fucked against the kitchen worktop by a man she was furious with only an hour earlier. I press my lips together to fight my smile as Doug walks in behind me, naked, and my eyes focus on the very thing that had me screaming out downstairs. I feel my eyes widen and my lips part; how the hell did that fit? And that’s it before it’s hard? Lord, help me…
He chuckles as he stands close behind me, pressing our naked bodies together and letting me really feel that monster of a penis against my backside.
‘Don’t look so scared.’ Humor laces his words. ‘You took it all once. You can do it again.’
My body reacts to his words and the naughty smile he pairs with them. I can and I will. I can and I will…
He steps away and into the shower, holding out a hand for me to join him. I take it and climb in, and he immediately pulls me close.
‘I want you to know that I was tested after the last time I was with anybody, and I’m all clear.’
Oh. Oh my god, I didn’t even consider it. Fuck, I’m so stupid.
‘Oh, me too. I’ve always used condoms, and I, um, I’m on the pill too.’
I feel the embarrassment creep up my neck. I had unprotected sex with this man without even a second thought. Bloody hell, Cara.
‘What are you overthinking right now?’ he asks, tipping my chin up to force my gaze to meet his. I shake my head a little. ‘Cara,’
The way he gently but firmly encourages me with his tone and the raise of one eyebrow has me swallowing hard.
‘I’ve never been irresponsible a day in my life, yet, I didn’t consider the risks of unprotected sex for even a second.’
‘Does that make you feel vulnerable?’ I nod, yes, and he takes a slow, deep breath. ‘Do you remember when you were worried about taking the stairs when we came to look at the house?’ I nod, yes again. ‘I told you I wouldn’t put you in danger. I meant that. It was irresponsible of us to do it without so much as a passing thought, and we will communicate better going forward, but just know that I wouldn’t put you at risk of harm, okay? Trust that.’
His gaze drifts to my lips as my heart races in my chest. I think he’s going to kiss me, the way he’s looking down at me, a soft, satisfied expression on his face, but, instead, he reaches up to pull the hair tie from my ponytail so gently. My hair falls, and he tosses the tie out onto the bathroom floor, then guides me under the water, tipping my chin up and wetting my hair.
Turning me around, Doug reaches around me for the shampoo. After squirting some into his palm, he starts to lather up my hair, massaging my scalp in a way that makes me audibly sigh.
‘This okay?’ he asks, and I nod.
He washes my hair, rinses, then conditions, before reaching for my shower gel and starting to wash me. His warm, hard chest presses against my back as he roams soapy hands all over my body, and the intimacy of the moment causes tears to prick my eyes. Nobody has ever treated me so gently or paid me so much attention. Doug takes my washcloth and gently washes my thighs and between my legs before turning me around. I close my eyes as he tips my chin up, not wanting him to see the emotions rising in me.
‘Hey,’ he says softly, ‘am I hurting you?’
I shake my head, no, and swallow hard before opening my eyes and bringing my hands to his chest.
‘No, I guess I’m just not used to this.’
He leans down to press a gentle kiss to my lips, which turns hungrier as the hardness between us grows.
‘You just got me clean,’ I say, smiling as his erection nudges against me, and he laughs.
‘He’s got a mind of his own. I’m sorry. It’s been a long time. He’s excited.’
I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh.
‘Come on. Let’s get you dry.’
Doug reaches up to turn off the shower, and a ripple of disappointment moves through me. I thought he was going to take me again, right there and then, but it seems once is enough for tonight.
I shake that from my mind. I’m going to be sore in the morning as it is. I don’t need to make it even worse.
He opens out a towel, and I step into it, letting him wrap me up. I love how he looks, wet and defined, one of my towels wrapped low around his waist.
He bends to pick up my hair tie and grabs my brush, then smacks my backside again and pushes me toward the bedroom. Leading me to sit on the ottoman at the bottom of my bed, he stands behind me and starts to towel dry my hair. I can’t speak. I can’t ask what’s happening because I don’t want to break the spell of this moment—this man taking care of me.
He squeezes more water from my hair with the towel, then starts to brush. He’s gentle and careful, brushing from the bottom up, smoothing out my hair before he… oh my god, he starts to plait it.
He’s quiet as he works, pulling my hair back gently and plaiting it before securing it with the hair tie and pulling it forward over my shoulder.
I turn to find him looking around my room, and I smile.
‘What are you looking for?’
‘PJs.’
I huff out a small laugh.
‘Who are you, and what have you done with my grumpy contractor?’
‘Grumpy contractor between the hours of eight and six. Outside of that, I’m a super caring sex god.’
I laugh and stand to grab a big baggy t-shirt and some shorts from my still-packed suitcase. I pull the shirt on over my towel, suddenly not wanting to completely strip in front of him, then drop the towel and pull on the shorts. Doug pulls on his boxers and climbs onto my bed, opening his arm to me.
I kneel on the bed and sit back on my heels in front of him. Doug drops his arm, then sits up and moves close in front of me.
‘What is it?’
I smile. ‘That’s the exact question on my mind. What is this? I know we can’t tell anyone, but what does it mean?’
He cups my cheek, then leans in to press a kiss to my mouth.
‘I don’t know. All I know right now is that I want you. I want to get to know you. I want to be around you, and I want to make you scream like that again.’ Heat blooms up my neck and cheeks, and I swallow hard. ‘I like you, Cara. Can we just start there?’
I nod, and he drops back against the pillows and opens his arms to me once more. I move to lie down with him, snuggling into his side and settling against his chest. I’ve never had a closeness like this, not even with Jamie. I like it more than I have the words to say.