5. Leo
Chapter 5
Leo
How long have I been sitting here, staring at my bedroom door? I keep expecting to hear Cayenne’s mewl—either that or to wake up in the hospital. It’s getting dark, and my stomach is rumbling. Apparently, you can get hungry while unconscious. I am unconscious, right?
I go through the motions of making and eating dinner. It smells and tastes real, and it satisfies my hunger. I wash the dishes, which seems incredibly mundane, considering my imagination wants me to believe my cat can turn into a person who claims to be a guardian angel.
My guardian angel.
He knew things that no one could. Except me. Which is why I know none of this is real. I need to wake up. I pinch my arm hard. Ouch! You’re not meant to be able to feel pain in dreams, are you?
I stride to the bedroom door, slowly and quietly open it a crack, and peer inside. The room is dark, but the curtains are open, so there’s enough ambient light from outside to illuminate the sleeping form on the bed. Not a cat, but a twenty-something guy with stunning red hair curled up in Cayenne’s spot. With a sigh, I get a blanket from my wardrobe and lay it over him, then slip out of the room and close the door.
I pace from one end of the living area to the other. Supposing the guy on my bed is real, what does he want? And what has he done with Cayenne? Has someone hired him to mess with me? Wait? What’s his name? He didn’t tell me, and I didn’t ask. Why would he fall asleep on my bed if he was holding my cat to ransom? It’s not exactly master criminal behaviour. I could have called the police. I should call the police. Wait. Do people hold cats for ransom? No, probably not. Not unless they’re an expensive pure breed, which Cayenne isn’t.
“Oh, hey, you’re going to wear a trench in the carpet,” a sleepy voice says from behind me.
I spin around. The mysterious guy is leaning against the bedroom door frame, messing his already chaotic hair up with his hand. He’s got more colour in his face than before he napped. A splattering of pale freckles paints his cheeks and nose. He’s pretty cute.
Nope. That thought shouldn’t have entered my head.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“Haven’t we been through this? I’m?—”
“My cat. ”
“Right. Now you’re getting it.”
I glare at him.
“You still don’t believe me, do you?”
“No,” I say flatly.
He hums. “I should have realised you wouldn’t be able to handle the truth. My bad. I should have let you take me to the vet.” He glances at the cat carrier, which is lying abandoned on the floor. “You don’t need that anymore. I got better.”
“You—?”
“Got better. Well, mostly anyway. The rest of the kinks will work their way out soon.” He raises his arms in a stretch, lifting the hem of his T-shirt enough to reveal a sliver of tummy.
If he’s a guardian angel—which he isn’t—why is he wearing jeans and a T-shirt? He doesn’t have any shoes or socks on.
“Where’s my cat?” I demand.
“Here.” He walks towards me, but before he reaches me, he turns into a cat.
Not just any cat. My cat.
Cayenne meows, rubs himself against my legs, and purrs. My jaw drops. I stare at the ginger-and-white cat trying to get my attention. I stoop and scoop him into my arms. He meets my stare, his yellow-green eyes intent.
“This is a dream,” I whisper.
The cat trills.
“This can’t be real. Cats don’t turn into people. People don’t turn into cats. Guardian angels don’t exist.”
Cayenne touches his paw to my jaw. His little toe beans are warm.
He was a kitten the first time he did that. It was the day I took him in. I’d found him something to eat and drink and then spent the day ringing around rescue shelters, asking if they had space for him. I was too consumed with grief to look after myself, let alone a kitten. All the shelters were full, except the last one. They had room. I was holding Cayenne in my arm—he didn’t have a name at that point—and he stared at me, his little eyes serious, and put his paw against my jaw. In that moment, he stole my heart.
Tears sting my eyes. My throat is strangled with emotion. My heart is heavy with the weight of memories.
The cat nuzzles against my jaw, twists in my arms, and jumps down. He lands on all fours and is human again.
He stands and turns around. “Now do you believe me?”
“What’s your name?”
He smiles. “You should know, Leo. You named me.”
“Cayenne?”
“I prefer Kai.”
“But you must have had a name before that. If you’re not really a cat.”
He tilts his head. “Must I?”
“Everyone has a name. ”
He shrugs. “I didn’t need a name until you gave me one. I quite like having a name. I especially like the way you say it.”
I sit on the sofa, wipe my hands on my face, and lean onto my thighs. “The store worker—the one pushing the trolleys—he didn’t see you.” No, that’s not quite right. “He saw Cayenne. He didn’t see you .”
“I’m mostly invisible when I’m in this form.”
“Mostly?”
“You can see me, can’t you?”
“What—what’s your true form? Are you a cat or a person?”
He grins. “This plus wings. It’s epic.” His expression sobers. “But I can’t show you.”
“Because it will melt my mind?”
“Yes.” He sits on the floor, knees bent, legs behind him, palms splayed on the carpet between his thighs.
“What does that even mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Humans aren’t meant to see an angel’s true form. Your minds can’t take it. You think you’re having a hard time processing things now. Times that by a thousand. No, a million. No, a million million!”
I shake my head. “How do you know?” Horror settles in the pit of my stomach. “You’ve revealed your true form to a human before, haven’t you?”
“No. Of course not. I just know .”
“Someone told you? Who told you?”
“Certainly not whoever lives in the apartment above you. No one told me. I just know .” He sounds so intense, so sure, so sincere it’s impossible to disbelieve him.
Seeing his true form will melt my mind. Noted.
“You’ve been with me for seventeen years?”
He nods at the calendar and winks. “Almost.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a good person.”
“So, what? Every good person in the world has an angel watching over them?”
“No. Only special ones.”
“I—” My mouth goes dry, and I forget how to speak.
“You’re special, Leo.”
The way he speaks makes my toes curl. Thankfully, I am wearing socks and shoes. I still have shoes on. I toe them off and carry them to the shoe rack. It gives me a moment to take deep breaths to get my rapid heart rate under control.
I return to the sofa. “I’m?—?”
“Special.” His eyes sparkle mischievously.
“You said that.”
“Yes, and it made you blush, so I said it again. You’re adorable when you blush.”
“I’m—” I’ve forgotten the words again. My face is hot.
A pink glow spreads over Kai’s cheeks and nose, obfuscating his freckles. He bites his lower lip.
I need to think. I’m still unsure that any of this is real, but I have no choice but to play along until I wake up .
“What makes me so special? I’m no different from anyone else.”
“That’s not true. You’re an inherently good person.”
“Isn’t everyone?”
“No.”
“I’ve never done anything exceptional. I’m not about to win the Nobel Peace Prize or anything. There are hundreds—probably thousands, maybe even millions—of people who have done greater things than me. I’m—I’m?—”
“You.”
I blink.
“Being good isn’t about doing great things. It’s about who you are, deep in your soul. It’s about how you live your life, day to day. You’re selfless, kind, and generous. You never hesitate to help others, and you never expect thanks or recognition.”
“But—”
He holds his hand up, silencing me. “The universe told me to protect you, so I do.”
That simple, huh?
“If you’re an angel, does that mean you were human once and then—died?”
He pulls a face. “What? No!”
“So you’re not the spirit of?—”
“—anyone you know. Absolutely not.” He curls his upper lip. “That would be weird. I’m me. I’ve always been me. I’ll always be me.”
“And yet I named you. ”
He grins. “Yes. For now, I am Kai.” He sticks his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Leo.”
I stare at his hand.
“You’re supposed to shake it,” he whispers. “I thought I was the one who got smacked by the trolleys. You’re acting like you have a concussion.” He crawls to me and presses the back of his hand against my forehead. “You don’t have a temperature. Are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down? Can I curl up next to you if you do?”
And I’m back to gawping like a goldfish.
“Curl up next to me?”
“Yes. Didn’t I mention that I get energy back faster when I’m near you?”
He did say something like that.
“I mean, sex would be the best way of replenishing my energy, but I’ll take snuggle time instead.”
“Sex?”
He cackles and swipes his hand playfully over my leg. “I’m kidding. I’ve never had sex, but you always seem happy after you have. Not to mention the contented noises you make while?—”
“Stop!” I stand and cross to the window. My face is hot enough to fry an egg on it. My face, my neck. All of me. I’m about to combust from embarrassment. “You were never in the room while I?—”
“It’s a small apartment, Leo.”
I bury my head in my hands.
“What? Having fun is nothing to be ashamed of.”
I groan and shake my head .
“Do you want me to turn into a cat again?”
Do I? Will it make any difference now I know he’s not a cat? I’m pretty sure Cayenne has seen me naked. This is mortifying.
“You are?—”
“A chaos gremlin?” he asks in the most innocent voice I have ever heard.
I peer at him through my fingers. “Yes.” My voice comes out as a squeak.
He laughs, which is a truly joyous sound. “And you adore me for it. Face it, Leo. You’ve loved having me around these past seventeen years.”
I lower my hands. “How old are you?”
“Now, now, you shouldn’t ask an angel a personal question like that.”
I open my mouth and then snap it shut.
“I’m ageless. I have always been and will always be. Oh, that sounded really wise, didn’t it? Like that small green guy in those films you like. Always I am. Always I will be. Is that how he talks?”
“You’re—”
“What?”
“Not how I imagined an angel would be.”
He leans onto his hands and stares at me with eager, expectant eyes.
“Aren’t angels supposed to be the epitome of good? Don’t they hang out on clouds in white gowns playing golden harps?”
He clutches his stomach and laughs so hard he falls flat on his back. “You’re funny, Leo. It’s one of the things I love about you.”
I hadn’t meant to amuse him.
He pushes himself up on his elbows and grins.
I’m too busy thinking about how flexible he is. His lower legs are still to the side and behind him, yet his back was flat to the floor a moment ago. He’s not human. He could probably rotate his head like something out of The Exorcist if he wanted to. Not that I’m going to ask him if he can. I don’t need to be even more freaked out than I already am.
“So, what now?” I ask. “You weren’t meant to show yourself to me, were you?”
He sighs. “No. At least, I don’t think so. I’ve never revealed myself to anyone before.” He uses his hand as leverage to sit upright and pins me with a solemn stare. “As for what happens next, that’s up to you. I can revert to cat form, and we can pretend I never slipped up.”
Is that what I want? “Or?”
“I can watch you from a distance, and you’ll never have to see me again.”
My heart becomes a lead weight. “Or?”
He shrugs. “I can be whatever you need me to be as long as that’s a person or a cat.”
“You can’t change into anything else?”
His eyes light up. “Why? Do you want me to?”
“Uh, no. A cat or a person is fine. But for the record, they’re the only two forms you can take?”
“Who knows? I didn’t know I could be a cat until you needed me to be one. Should I try turning into a dog? You like those.” He gasps. “Oh! I know! A rhinoceros!”
I wave my hands. “No!”
“So… human or cat?”
I open and close my mouth.
He smiles. “You don’t need to make a decision now. I’ll return to being Cayenne and keep a low profile for a few days. Give you time to think.”
“Thank you.” I guess.
He nods and transforms into my ginger-and-white cat. He trots past me, jumps onto the windowsill, wraps his tail around his legs, and stares out the window, leaving me with thousands more questions and a head whirling with too many thoughts to even contemplate sleep.