Chapter 21 Xavier
What the fuck is happening? Declan Murphy says he isn’t gay or even bi, but he is into me.
He wants me for some reason. His words sound sincere.
I can’t lie to myself and deny that I want him physically.
In my heart, I want someone just for me.
Someone who will take control and care for me.
Every relationship I have ever been in has been one-sided.
I’m always giving in to others’ wants and needs, including my mother’s.
But I want to give in to Declan. The question is whether I can survive when he tosses me aside.
I take a deep breath and then slowly release it.
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay, what, Xavier?”
“You win. We can see where this,” I motion my finger between him and me, “goes.” But I keep my current job until I can find something better. I also need you to understand that you don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on me. I’m a simple guy.”
“Is that the only stipulation? You keep your job.”
“No, don’t play games with me. When you’re done with whatever this is, say so. Don’t drag it out. Also, you said before that you don’t share. Well, neither do I. I’ve been cheated on before, so I would rather you walk away before that happens.”
“I don’t see that happening, but I agree.
I also have conditions for you.” He takes a sip of his wine.
“I need to feel in control. I want to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with. That is also for your safety. Once the public knows who you are to me, it might not be safe for you at times.” I start to say we don’t need to go public, but he cuts me off before I can finish.
“I won’t hide my relationship with you. I want people to know that you’re mine. ”
Something inside of me melts. I won’t be his dirty little secret.
Even though he’s never been with a man before, he’s willing to go public with us.
Will he change his mind once the backlash starts?
Because it will start. He’s a prominent member of the upper, upper class, and I am nowhere near his social standing. I guess time will tell.
We eat dinner, just talking about everyday things.
He tells me about his mom leaving when he was about five and how his aunt stepped in.
He tells me stories about his cousins. It seems like some of the tales he tells are abridged, and he purposely leaves out parts.
It seems especially true when he said his aunt would make them do things they hated when she was displeased with their behavior.
He never explains what any of them did, only what their punishment was.
I try to steer clear of talking about myself, though.
I’m not that interesting. But when he asks me about my family, I tell him everything.
“When I was seventeen, I was driving the car home from dinner. My sister was thirteen, and we had taken her to her volleyball game. Afterward, we went to this little pizza place with some of the team and their parents. My dad had a couple of beers, so I was driving. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit the passenger side of the car. Katie was killed instantly, and Dad died at the hospital three days later. I only had minor injuries.”
“That had to be hard for you and your mom.”
“It was. I know that it wasn’t my fault, but I still feel guilty.
Mom blamed me for it, and still does. I was responsible not only for her losing her baby girl but also for her husband and source of income.
She made me get a part-time job during my senior year of high school.
Even now, the only time she calls me is for money. ”
“How could she blame you for what happened?” Declan grips my hand and holds it tight. I hadn’t noticed that I’m shaking. It’s always hard for me to get through the story without breaking down. But with his hand on mine, it eases the way for me to continue.
“She’s always said that I should have been more careful, that I should have been able to swerve to avoid it.
It honestly happened so fast. She’d never been an attentive mother to me, even when I was little.
Apparently, she had miscarried a little girl and then got pregnant with me within months.
She didn’t want a boy. She finally got her girl almost five years later.
My dad did everything for me.” As I am finishing my story about who and what my mother is, a horrible thought occurs to me.
“Declan, if she finds out that you are with me, she is going to want money from you. Please do not give it to her. It has nothing to do with you; I’ll handle it like always.”
“Like always? You have been living on next to nothing because she is taking more than half of your income. I wouldn’t call that handling it.” I know that I’m doing a fine imitation of a fish out of water. How the fuck does he know how much money I give my mother?
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“Ronan ran a background and financial report the first night we met.”
“What the fuck, Declan? That is a huge invasion of my privacy. Why?”
“I wanted to know everything I could about you. I decided that first night you were mine. Anyone that I or anyone in my family gets close to gets vetted. And your mother will not bother you again.”
I can understand the background check. His family is wealthy and needs to protect itself. I still don’t like it.
“She’s my mother, Declan.”
“Not much of one if she blames you for an accident.”
“Can we talk about this later, please?” He nods.
We are just finishing our main course when a different waiter approaches our table.
“I hope you have enjoyed your meals.” He is smiling at me, and I politely smile back. “What would you like for dessert? I’m sure we have something I can tempt you with.” Is he flirting with me?
“The fuck you just say?” Declan growls.
“I’m sorry, sir, I was just asking about dessert.
” He’s not sorry at all, and that becomes apparent when he winks at me.
Declan stands so fast that his chair crashes to the floor.
What the fuck is happening right now? Declan looks like he is about to punch this guy.
He steps into the waiter’s personal space.
He has to bend down quite a bit to get into the guy’s face.
The look on Declan’s face is murderous, over someone flirting with me.
I couldn’t tell you if I am turned on or worried about his temper.
The fact that he is once again fighting for me has me leaning toward the turned-on side.
“You must have a death wish.” When Declan grits out those words, the waiter seems to understand the situation. He steps back. A guy who must be the manager rushes to the table. “What’s going on. Mr. Murphy, is there a problem?”
“Not for long.” Declan goes to step around the manager. Is he really going to attack the guy? For just flirting with me? I reach out and place my hand on Declan’s arm. He doesn’t acknowledge me, so I tug on it. “Let it go, Declan.” I plead.
“I didn’t know that you were together. My apologies.” The waiter says. But it seems contrite.
“Toby, go back to the kitchen and wait for me.” The manager says. “My sincere apologies, Mr. Murphy. I can assure you that I will handle this issue. Please enjoy the rest of your dinner.” He rights Declan’s chair before bowing and taking off toward the back of the restaurant.
“What the fuck was that, Declan?” I ask.
“He had no right to say that to you. I didn’t like it.”
“You didn’t like something he said, so what? Were you going to fight him?”
Declan smirks. “It wouldn’t have been much of a fight. I won’t have anyone speaking to you that way.”
I shake my head, trying to get some clarity into it. Declan always seems controlled, but seeing him lose it like that is a little scary. But it also makes me feel wanted and desired.
We finish our meals, and Declan handles the bill.
As soon as we leave the restaurant and step onto the sidewalk, we’re met with a camera shoved in our faces.
The flash blinds me. Declan wraps his arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side.
This guy is crazy and pushy. When he tries to grab my arm, Declan immediately stops the man by almost breaking his wrist. He pushes the man so hard that he lands on his ass.
I’m still tucked against Declan, but suddenly I am looking at the wide back of a very large man.
Declan ushers me forward and into the passenger seat of his car.
“I’ll be right back. Stay here.” I nod and watch as he joins not only the man that had been in front of me, but also another one that isn’t as large but still really intimidating looking.
The three of them stride to where the man who tried to grab me is still sitting on the ground, cradling his arm.
Declan squats down in front of him and says something to him.
He stands and takes what looks like a business card from his pocket and drops it in the man’s lap.
Getting back into the car, he takes my face into his large hands.
“Are you alright?” I nod.
“Does that happen a lot?”
“Not really. It’s been a while. The waiter who hit on you did it to see if we were actually together. Once he confirmed it, he called the bastard. They were going to sell the pictures to a gossip site and split the money.”
Well, that explained why the guy was flirting with me in the first place. Things like that don’t happen to me.
“Who are those two?” I point at the men walking to a black SUV parked not far from us.
“The big guy is Taylor, and the other one is Kenji. They’re security, but they’ll only make themselves known if there is a situation like that one.” He pulls out of the parking spot and starts our drive back to the apartment.
“What did you say to that guy on the ground?” Declan looks over at me and smirks.
“Do you really want to know?” I nod. “I told him that he was getting off easy and that if he ever tries to touch you again, he will lose his hand. I left a card with the number of my attorney to take care of the hospital bill.”
“That was nice of you.”
“My dad makes me do that. I don’t give a shit if he goes to the hospital or not. But Dad wants to keep any legal issues to a minimum, so we all carry the cards.”
I can’t help but laugh. It’s so absurd. Who carries around cards to give out in case they commit assault? To be fair, the guy shouldn’t have tried to grab me, but still, Declan has more than likely broken the guy’s wrist.
“That’s funny?”
“Yeah, it actually is. Do you and your cousins do stuff like that so often that you need to have cards for your lawyer in your pocket?”
“We all have poor impulse control.” I laugh again until I see the seriousness on his face. I still grin when I turn and watch the cityscape as we drive.
I barely have the door of the apartment shut before Declan is on me.
He presses me against the door and kisses me hard.
His tongue tangles with mine as I kiss him back just as brutally.
He pulls back, and before I can even catch my breath, he throws me over his shoulder, heading to the bedroom.
He puts me back on my feet and sits on the edge of the bed.
“Take your clothes off, Xavier.” I hesitate for only a second before I comply.
I take off my socks and shoes, then my shirt.
When I unbutton my pants and pull on the zipper down, he says, “Turn around.” Again, I do as he commands me.
I’m more than happy to give him a show. My ass is one physical trait that I’m actually proud of.
I work hard for it. The other thing is how flexible I am.
Not that I have ever gotten a chance to use that particular talent with any past partners.
My ex was only interested if I was face down on the bed or giving him a blowjob.
I bend at the waist and pull my pants and underwear off.
“Fuck.” Declan all but moans when I stand back up.
I step closer to him and position myself between his spread thighs.
His hands roam over my hips, then one slides up my chest while the other cups my ass cheek.
“You’re perfect,” he says as he takes one of my nipples into his mouth.
He bites, licks, and tugs on one and then the other.
He’s still fully clothed, and while that power dynamic is hot as fuck I want him naked as well.
“I want to touch you.”
He doesn’t hesitate; he grabs my hips and tosses me on the bed.
Standing, he undresses. His chest is sculpted, his abs are defined, and the V of his Adonis belt is so sexy.
I have never seen a body like his in person.
It’s a work of art, and I get to touch him.
When he removes his slacks, I nearly swallow my tongue.
First, he’s not wearing any underwear, and second, he’s huge.
I’ve never been a size queen, but I feel my hole contract at just the thought of him pushing that monster into me.