Chapter 8 JP – GARDENS, DOGS, COOKS, & BOOKS
When we were young, Ali used to be so serious on the ice.
She never messed around, never made eye-contact with anyone in the stands, and she never smiled.
I could still picture her serious face in my mind, the way she always wore black leggings over a leotard, the way she always had her hair gelled back in a tight low bun, not a single fly-away hair out of place, all business all the time.
I’m not sure why I expected her to be the same here on the cruise ship’s small ice, but damn, was I glad to see that she was now the exact opposite. It was ironic really—skating was her job now, but she was having more fun during practice here than she ever did back at Centre Ice.
Her short hair was pulled up in a messy high ponytail with the shorter strands falling out, and she wore a bright blue sports bra and matching shorts over-top of tights and legwarmers.
Every once in a while, her perfect posture would crumble as she cracked up laughing at something one of her fellow skaters said.
Each time she practiced a portion of a program that faced my section of the stands, she’d give me her little upside-down grin. I fucking loved that grin.
“Okay, some little notes,” the director, a taller blonde skater holding a clipboard, said. The group of about ten skaters went quiet for the first time all practice. “Can Brandon and Val switch for this part?”
“But that’s my part with Ali.” I instantly recognized him as the Russian guy who tried to stop me from going backstage to see Ali last night.
“But it makes sense for you guys to switch, Val,” the director said. “It’ll give you more time to get ready for your program with Melissa, see.” She pointed to her clipboard.
Val studied the board, a look of unease on his face.
Ali, who was sitting up on the ledge of the boards drinking water, gave Val a reassuring nod. “It’s fine, it’s okay.”
For the next minute, Ali and Val seemed to communicate through looks, then Val finally conceded with a sigh and glided over to a younger guy with curly dark hair—the guy who showed up as Val’s backup last night when I was searching for Ali. So this must’ve been Brandon.
I watched curiously as Val whispered to him in what looked like a threatening tone.
Brandon held his hands up in surrender. “Hey man, I’d sacrifice myself before she ever comes close to hitting the ice.”
You better.
“You better,” Val said, echoing my thoughts aloud.
I sat back in my seat. I liked this Val guy. I liked that he was protective of Ali. After studying their interactions, I was pretty sure that he wasn’t looking at Ali with any sort of lust or interest. It was just too bad I couldn’t say the same for this Brandon guy.
He liked Ali.
It was obvious.
Blowing out a sigh, I watched as Brandon skated over to where Ali was sitting on the boards.
The way he leaned close to talk to her, and the way his face turned slightly red when she patted his arm told me all I needed to know.
Brandon responded with something to make Ali throw her head back laughing, and my entire body tensed.
But as soon as Ali settled, she placed her water bottle back on the boards and looked over her shoulder to find me.
I gave her a wink. She bit her lip to contain a grin as she hopped down from the boards, still smiling as she went.
Brandon was left there standing alone. His eyes wandered to where Ali had just looked. As soon as his eyes met mine, I lifted an eyebrow and gave him a shrug.
His face slightly fell. He pulled at the front of his hair as he skated off toward the rest of the group.
Yeah, that’s right. Back it up, buddy.
—————
“So how is this? Cruise life? Living here?” I asked that night as we walked down the length of the deck eating ice cream.
“I love it,” she answered immediately, then a wistful little smile appeared on her face.
“But?” I coaxed.
She laughed. “How did you know there was a but?”
“Your face,” I said. “Right there.” I reached out and lightly touched the corner of her smile. She went still, but she didn’t flinch from my touch and that had me wanting to fist-pump out of pure happiness.
Her lips twisted into a cute smile. “But sometimes I miss some of my old hobbies.”
My heart kicked up a bit at the possibility that maybe this cruise ship wasn’t exactly fulfilling her. Maybe there was some kind of gap I’d be able to fill. “Like what?”
She took her time licking her ice cream as she thought. “Gardening.” She gave me a knowing look. “And sometimes when we hike, I see girls with dogs…”
“Yeah? You want one?” I asked, sounding way too eager. I cleared my throat, internally yelling at myself to calm it down.
“Maybe one day, when I’m old and gray.” She wagged her eyebrows.
“I’d like to see that.” I gave her a wink.
“No, you wouldn’t.” She tried to hip-check me, but it landed more on my thigh, making me laugh.
“Yeah, you’ll be a prettiest old lady, Al,” I said, licking the side of my ice cream cone.
“Oh, shut up,” she said, a little blush coloring her cheeks. She stopped walking to point to my face. “You got a little.”
“Huh?”
She smoothed her delicate hand up to my lips.
My whole body went taunt with tension, waiting, hoping.
Her brown eyes flashed up to mine, and I was too locked in, too absolutely mesmerized by her, to notice the teen guys recklessly running up the deck behind her.
One of them pushed past her, making her lose her balance.
I quickly caught her with my right arm and my shoulder screamed out in protest.
“Hey, watch it,” I gritted out at the teens who were now too far to even hear me.
She chuckled awkwardly and patted my chest as she righted herself. “Not their fault I’m clumsy.”
“Their fault they ruined the moment,” I grumbled distractedly.
She laughed loudly, then covered her mouth when I looked at her. “Aww, we were having a moment?”
“Brat.” Struggling to stop a grin, I shook my head, which just made her giggle more. “So, what else?” I asked, willing my body to calm down.
She squinted at her ice cream in thought. “Maybe cooking. I forgot how to even use a pan. I don’t know what I’d do on my own. I’ve basically lived with a cafeteria my entire adult life. I might starve without one,” she joked.
“I’m a pretty good cook,” I offered up.
Her eyebrows popped up. “Yeah?”
I gave a little self-indulgent nod.
“Oh my God.” She pointed her ice cream at me accusingly. “Jameson Patrick McQuaid, you’re a meal prepper, aren’t you?”
I started laughing, because that was very much true.
“Wow, what a sell out.” She shook her head ruefully.
“Hey, it’s good for me. How else am I going to hit all the calories my trainer wants me to eat?”
“Yeah, yeah, trainers shmainers.” She rolled her eyes.
“Ah, I forgot who I was talking to Miss Don’t You Dare Tell Me What To Do.” I fixed her with a look.
She snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I was a bit of a brat to the trainers, wasn’t I?”
“Eh, you just wanted to get back on the ice, even when your body didn’t want you to.”
She tsked. “Wow, you didn’t even try to deny it.”
I smirked. “Meal prepping is nice. I’ve found I really like routine.”
She pulled a grossed-out face. “I couldn’t keep on a routine even if I tried. That life is not for me. I want to constantly see new places, meet new people, and try new food. I’ll keep going until I…” She trailed off and shook her head.
I wanted to press her to finish the rest of her sentence, but I was distracted by the pang of sorrow in my chest. I was proud of her for creating the life she always wanted, even if it hurt that it was completely opposite of mine.
I forced a smile. “I like seeing your life. Maybe you could come see mine sometime.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she said with a small smile.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I managed to swallow it all down and grab her hand instead.
When it came to Ali, I’d have to be okay with living for the maybes.
___________
The next morning, her alarm went off extremely early.
“Thought it was your day off?” I grumbled, pulling her body closer to cuddle for a few more precious moments. Her bed was so tiny that my feet fell off the end, but I couldn’t care less. I was more comfortable than I’d been in years. I loved being wrapped up in the sheets with her.
She patted my cheek. “It is, but I have some things I like to do.”
“Oh, sounds a little something like a routine?” I teased with my eyes still closed.
She let out a little laugh. “Something like that.” She was silent for a beat, making me finally open my eyes. She was biting her lip, looking stuck in indecision.
“Say it,” I demanded, holding her chin.
She cocked an eyebrow. “Say what?”
“Whatever you’re struggling to say. No judgement, let’s hear it.” I rolled onto my back, bringing her with me so she was now sprawled out on top of me.
Balancing her elbow on my chest, she held her chin. “Do you want to join?”
“Yupp.” I stretched out, getting ready to leave the bed.
She laughed. “You don’t even know what I’m asking you to join.”
“Don’t care. I’ll follow you anywhere.” I winked at her, making her cheeks pink up.
That morning, I followed her up to the deck where we joined about fifty other people in sunrise yoga.
After that, we met up with a few of her skating friends for breakfast, then I followed her to the adults-only pool where I received a stern talking-to for doing a cannonball—worth it because Ali was giggling the whole time.
After doing a couple laps in the pool, I spread out on the cabana next to her. She just smiled, barely taking attention away from the page of the romance novel she was reading.
Laying on my stomach, I wrapped a wet arm around her legs, making her laugh, and it felt like I’d somehow broken into heaven. I couldn’t help but think that this was how things should’ve always been between the two of us: easy. Easy comfort, easy love.
I fell asleep just like that, thinking about the future, about everything I could show her in Chicago.