Chapter 25
I was going to lose my mind. I was going to completely lose it.
I shot off about ten texts to Niko, warning him to keep Ali safe, but so far, no response.
I held my chest, trying to slow my heart.
I could feel the pressure thrumming in my ears.
I started pacing in Kappy’s weight room to calm myself down, but it wasn’t working.
Kappy always invited us over for workouts because Piper wouldn’t allow him to do it alone.
We had strict instructions to keep him from cardio and to be on alert in case his heart monitor went off.
But I couldn’t think about Kappy’s health right then because it felt like mine was deteriorating as doubts about Ali ate me alive.
Did she not want to be with me? Was that why she agreed to go on the date with Niko? Maybe she truly only saw me as a friend?
With other women, I always felt slightly annoyed when I’d get texts from them—that’s why I stopped dating altogether, because it wasn’t fair to them.
But I never ever felt that lackluster response when it came to Ali.
I always wanted to be with her. I wanted as many texts as she could send.
But for some reason, it never crossed my mind that maybe Ali was having that lackluster response for me.
Maybe she sighed every time my name popped up on her phone.
No. No, that just couldn’t be.
I tried to remind myself of the cruise, how she gasped when I touched her, how she moaned as I kissed her, how she clung to me, curled into me, wanted me, damnit.
But that was before.
Before I fucking ruined it.
And now that smartass rookie was going to be my baby’s stepfather. I gripped my phone so hard it could crack.
“Dude, what is wrong with you?” Kappy asked right as I shot off another warning text to Niko.
“Ali’s on a date,” I forced out.
Kappy’s face cracked. “With who?”
“That fucking Niko kid.” I dropped my head and held my temples.
Kappy busted up laughing. “I knew I liked that kid. He’s got charisma.”
“Don’t say that,” I snapped. “What do I do? How do I stop this?” I begged.
Kappy’s eyes stayed on Colt, who he was busy spotting on the bench press. “Sorry, but I don't think you can. You guys aren’t together, man. You don’t get a say in who she sees. You didn’t want a relationship with her.”
I let out a frustrated growl. “But I do.”
“But you didn’t.” He cut me a look. “So now you gotta chill out.”
I shook my head. “You can’t say that. It’s Ali. She’s… she’s…” I struggled with how to say it.
“She’s what?” Colt asked as he racked the weight.
“She’s mine.”
I dropped my head. Fuck. She wasn’t mine. She was her own person. But we were meant to be together. The last time I sat back, things completely fell apart and she was stuck with someone who treated her horribly. I couldn’t let that happen again. I couldn’t risk it.
Silence rang out in the gym.
I turned to make sure my friends were still there.
Colt’s face broke into a huge smile before he started clapping his hands. “Let’s go! See, that’s the kind of fire I wanted to see from you a fuckin’ decade ago.”
I pulled at the back of my neck. “So, what do I do?”
Colt wiped his sweat away with a towel. “You do what you should’ve done before.”
“And that is?”
“Go over there!” Colt said. “Tell her how you feel. Fix things. Stop this before it’s too late.”
“What? No.” Kappy shook his head, looking absolutely flabbergasted. “He absolutely should not go over there. What are you saying, Colt?”
“Yes, go over there, crash it, confess your feelings, do something other than just sit here like a bum,” Colt urged. “Take action, my man.”
I rubbed my jaw. “Are you sure that’s good advice?”
“No,” Kappy said with wild eyes. “It is not good advice at all!”
Colt snorted. “Well, I got my girl back within months, he had to learn a whole other sport and win a gold medal first.”
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Kappy started to argue, but I couldn’t listen. I was at a complete loss as I stared at the story Niko just posted to his socials.
“Dude, are you okay? You’re all white,” Kappy said. “Do I need to call Piper for you?”
I couldn’t even speak. It felt like someone ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground. I showed them my phone.
Kappy laughed. “Who’s getting it on?”
Colt smacked him upside the head. “That’s Ali's jacket, dumbass.”
“Oh.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Okay, well, shit.”
Without another word, I turned on my heel and tore out of the gym.
“Wait, you don’t want to do this!” Kappy called out.
“Yes, he does!” Colt yelled, aggressively clapping for me. “Go get your girl!”
“Piper is going to be so mad at me,” Kappy muttered. “Damn it.”
——————
Their door was unlocked. Without thinking, I threw it open and burst into the penthouse to find Niko and Ali’s clothes on the floor.
No, no, no. This could not be happening.
Seeing it in person made me feel sick.
Moving down the hallway, I knocked on each door, but there was no answer. There was no one home. My tiny relief at not finding them together gave way to overwhelming panic. If they weren’t here, where the hell did they go? Was she okay? Was she nervous? How could I have let this happen?
My ears started ringing with panic as I rushed toward the door.
“We gotta trespasser, boys!” Niko’s voice called out, making me whip my neck around. My body was moving toward the patio before my brain even registered what was going on.
My eyes immediately locked on hers. “You okay?” I asked breathlessly.
Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?” she asked slowly.
No. I wasn’t. Because it felt like my chest was about to explode. “You were… and he was… I thought…” Why was it so hot out here? It was a fall night in Chicago, I should’ve been freezing. Looking up, I spotted the outdoor heaters. Jeez, these guys made it feel like summer out here.
“Just because we know you doesn’t mean you’re not trespassing,” Zukes said, pulling my attention to him. He crossed his arms over his chest. “We should really report you. Breaking and entering, my friend.”
I wiped sweat from my forehead. “I didn’t break in, your door was unlocked. This is…not right.” I shook my head. “Ali, you shouldn’t be… And he shouldn’t be…” I trailed off.
“Shouldn’t be what?” she asked, staring at me like she was afraid for me.
I held my chest, trying to calm myself.
“I didn’t even kiss her,” Niko claimed as he placed his beer on the side of the hot tub. “I mean, I will if she wants me to.” Niko moved closer to her in the tub, but Ali was still staring at me.
“Ali?” I croaked.
That seemed to snap her out of her trance. She rolled her eyes at Niko and splashed him with water, then continued watching me curiously.
The three rookies all laughed at my expense. My feet were frozen to the patio, trying to piece everything together.
“Ali?” Zukes imitated me. “I can’t breathe.” He held his stomach.
“Wow, that was priceless.” Niko grinned.
Ali moved to get up, and I quickly moved forward to help her step down from the hot tub. Just her accepting my hand slightly eased the tension in my chest.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I’m going to use the bathroom and get changed. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“You can keep the clothes, blondie. Just get ‘em back to me whenever,” Niko called after her.
That was the first time I took notice of what she was wearing. She had “Belltani” stamped across her back. Watching her walk into their penthouse, I clenched my jaw so hard my teeth could crack.
“You need a water? You look like you could use a water, bud,” Niko said to me, rising from the hot tub and striding across their heated patio.
“Thank you,” I said darkly.
“We need to talk,” he returned, looking just as pissed.
“Yeah, this is an invitation,” Nilsson said.
Zuke’s face-palmed. “No, man, it’s called an in-ter-ven-tion,” he said slowly.
“Yupp, this is an intervention. We heard all about what you pulled on Ali this summer,” Niko said.
“Too busy with hockey? Long distance is hard? Really? Using that on a girl you’re clearly in love with?” Zukes arched an eyebrow.
I shook my head. “You guys don't understand, you don’t have the full picture of things,” I argued.
Niko paused and studied me closely, and I had to fight the urge to shove him away.
“Maybe not,” he finally said. “It seems like you guys have a long history. Not quite sure why she flinched when I touched hand at dinner, or why you’re so panicked over her just hanging out with us.
” He held my gaze, waiting for me to talk.
But I wouldn’t. It wasn’t my story to tell.
When I didn't speak, he said, “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re being a complete idiot. ”
“She said she only wants to be friends, that’s what I’m—”
“She’s only saying that because she’s scared,” Niko said.
“Yeah, a girl will mirror how you treat her,” Zukes said reasonably. “If you act unsure, she’s gonna be unsure.”
I went to argue, but I couldn’t. I rubbed my forehead. The bonehead actually made sense.
“You decided what was best for the both of you without even asking her,” Niko said.
“That’s being a shit teammate. You just steamrolled over her.
What if she wanted to stop touring? Did you even ask her?
Maybe she was looking for a change and you just decided—nope, she’s gonna tour forever, better ditch out before this hurts me. ”
“You were scared, and then you made her scared,” Zukes said. He crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. “This is all making so much sense. The girl’s a genius.” He grinned proudly. “And now I’m a genius. Fuck yeah.”
My face cracked in confusion. “What?”
“Ignore him. Ali thinks you’re only with her because of the baby,” Niko said in a hushed voice. “You better fix it.”
“Yeah, fix it,” Nilsson added.
I was planning on it, but I didn’t like the way this punk was ordering me around. “Or what?”
“Or we’re dropping gloves,” Niko said without a trace of humor on his face. “Get your head in the game, McQuaid.”
I rolled my shoulders back.
“We’re serious.”
“I know,” I said.
“We like her.”
Rubbing my forehead, I nodded. Who wouldn’t? I assessed the guys for a beat. “I kinda like you three.”
“We kinda like you.” Niko smirked. “So don’t make us have to fight you.”
“Ready?” Ali poked her head out the door. She turned to give the guys a wave.
“Bye Ali,” they all chorused together.
“Come back soon,” Nilsson said.
“You’re always invited to hot tub time,” Zukes added.
Niko gave her a salute. “I’ll text ya, blondie.” After Ali turned, he gave me a warning glare and mouthed, “I’m watching you.”
I had to tamper down a grin as I helped Ali with her coat. “Looks like you made some new friends, eh?”
“Yeah,” she said with a small smile. “I did.”