Chapter 2 #2
Sakkara had been kind to leave us alone, but Varron had been right too; there were other pairs drifting toward us now, likely intent on congratulating us or whatever. The thought of fielding their teasing while introducing them to Kesha was exhausting…and it would be worse for her.
“Come on,” I murmured, tugging her backward. “Moving targets are harder to pin down.”
To my surprise—and delight—she chuckled at that, but it sounded tired.
I supposed after so many days driving, so many days filled with uncertainty, she was allowed to be tired.
Jay had planned this event for Friday night, right as the Brileys arrived, so they wouldn’t have to worry about finding a room to stay on Eastshore, which was expensive.
As we stepped back out of the circle of paper lanterns hung around the beach, Kesha craned her head. “Can you see the boys?”
The boys. Like Jay and Milo already belonged together. The thought made my Kteer vibrate in contentment, and I nodded toward the dessert table, not even needing to guess where my son was.
“Looks like they’re negotiating that second cupcake. Jay will take care of him, if you’re worried—”
“I know,” she sighed, and it sounded pleased rather than resigned. “I trust him—trust them together.”
Knowing what I knew of Milo, that was a huge vote of confidence, so I was smiling when we strolled toward the dunes. Still, Kesha kept peering over her shoulder.
“Don’t we need to, like…be there?”
“Like,” I teased her, knowing she was a stickler for the English language.
To my delight, she snorted and nudged me with her shoulder, as if we were old friends. “You know what I mean.”
“I thought we could use a break.” Or maybe I just needed some time alone with her. “We can go back if you want.”
She pulled me around so we were facing the mingling crowd, but away from them. “This is great. Maybe just a few minutes to catch my breath.” Her little laugh didn’t sound funny. “A lot has happened.”
“It certainly has.”
And just like that, things were awkward between us once more. Still, she didn’t release my hand.
“Your friends are nice,” she finally said. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep everyone’s name straight, much less their wives’.”
“I’ll make you some lists.” I knew that would appeal to her editorial side. “But they’re not all married. Most married for legal reasons, but for some of them, the Mating was enough.”
In the darkness, I could feel her gaze on me. “Is that the orcish equivalent of a marriage ceremony?”
I was suddenly uncertain I wanted to go down this path. “Um…not really. Mating can be socially recognized, but it’s between the couple.”
Kesha wrapped her free arm around herself, and I sensed her attention on me rather than the gathering. “So it’s like dating?”
Hells, I was going to have to explain. With a sigh, I gently disengaged my hand and ran it through my hair. Kesha wrapped her other arm around herself, and I realized she was trying to warm herself. I suppose that little sundress was inadequate once the sun went down.
So I shifted to stand behind her. “May I?” I murmured.
She startled, twisting to look up at me. I just stepped closer, offering her my warmth, and was gratified when she sighed and relaxed against me. I ignored the way my Kteer crowed as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Mating is…biological,” I began hesitantly.
“A bond, something you just…know. It’s not love, it’s not even marriage…
but it’s a commitment. A certainty, beyond all doubt, that the person you are bonding with will be yours for all eternity, even if you’re not well-suited.
” This last part was said under my breath, and I bit down on the impulse to explain.
“So it’s not just something orcs experience with each other?”
I huffed slightly, impressed by the question.
“I’d seen it before—there are orcs living in and around Bramblewood who’ve been in the human world for decades, keeping their heads down so the human government didn’t realize.
But before coming to Eastshore Isle, I hadn’t realized how many orc-human Mate Bonds were possible.
Apparently, it’s something humans can feel too. ”
“That must be surprising.” She sighed and leaned more against me.
“I suppose it’s handy, to be certain. In our relationships, we have to just…
have faith, I guess. That the guy we’ve chosen is the right one, and we can make it work.
” Kesha’s snort sounded a little self-deprecating.
“As should be obvious by the fact I never married and I have a son, we don’t always put our faith in the right relationship. ”
I wasn’t going to ask her about her past until she was ready to tell me.
“From what I’ve heard from our friends who have found their Mates here on Eastshore, it’s something most of the females need help wrapping their heads around,” I admitted. “But yes, there is something…I don’t know, freeing about it? There’s no guesswork. You meet your Mate, and bam, you just know.”
She twisted in my arms to stare up at me. “Bam?” she repeated in a whisper.
I wanted to kiss her. Gods below, I wanted to kiss her.
But I couldn’t. Not when this was supposed to be a business arrangement. Not when I was telling her about my dead Mate.
“That’s how it was with me and Sharra,” I admitted. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” I swallowed, unable to look down at her. “I found my Mate, years ago. Jay’s mother and I had about two years together before her death.”
Kesha sucked in a breath, and I felt her stiffen. Both hands came up to rest on my forearms. “Korrad, I’m so, so sorry. You don’t have to say anything else—you shouldn’t feel like you need to disclose any of your pain—”
“No, no! I just mean…” I closed my eyes and exhaled, determined not to lay out my youthful shame in the first few hours of my new marriage. “It was a long time ago. I just…I should have told you that you shouldn’t expect a Mating Bond from me. I lost my chance.”
“I really am sorry, Korrad.” Her voice was a mere whisper. “It must have been so horrible for you.”
I hadn’t told her this to elicit sympathy. My eyes flashed open. “I’m apologizing to you, dammit.”
A surprised huff of laughter burst from her lips. “For what? I didn’t know what a Mating Bond was until two minutes ago. I certainly hadn’t been expecting one!”
I guess that made sense. My lips twitched, and I resisted the urge to tighten my hold on her. Just doing this to keep her warm, right?
“I just wanted to make sure I was honest with you,” I finally managed. “Even if it’s not something you were expecting.”
Kesha didn’t respond, and the pair of us stood in the darkness, the dune at our back, watching our sons speaking to Brakkor and her bridesmaid, Jocelyn. Finally, Kesha exhaled and patted my forearm again, as if she was comforting me.
“The way you describe the Mate Bond sounds really special, Korrad. Marrying me sounds like even more of a sacrifice now, since you’re giving up your chance to find your Mate—”
“I found my Mate and lost her,” I interrupted, my voice harsher than I’d intended. I swallowed down the sudden thickening in my throat. “And I’m not trying to be maudlin; Jay is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I feel that way about Milo.”
Of course she did; she’d shifted her whole world for her son. “I just mean, you don’t need to feel sorry for me.”
She patted me again, and this time her hand lingered on my forearm, as if…holding me. “Too late. I feel bad that you’re giving up a chance to find another Mate.”
Unable to help my snort of dismissal, I forced myself to drop my hold on her, to step back. To allow the cold air to rush back over her. Kesha shivered again, and I felt guilt flash through me.
But at that moment, I saw Brooke—Sylvik’s Mate was a wedding planner, and had helped Jay with the logistics tonight—moving through the crowd with a platter of champagne flutes, and the air of the gathering turned anticipatory.
“Speech!” someone cried, and I heard my name being called. “Where’s Korrad hiding? Speech!”
When I sighed, Kesha shivered again.
Irritated at myself, I threw one arm around her shoulders—just to warm her, I told myself—and turned us toward the crowd. “Duty calls.”
“I’m sorry, Korrad,” she said quietly, her voice sad.
I had to set her straight. This marriage had been my idea; I wasn’t giving up on anything. With a gentle squeeze, I started walking us toward our wedding toast.
“Don’t be, sweetheart. No one gets a second Mate.”