Lose, Lose
LOSE, LOSE
RACHEL
Damn that man! I came so close to kissing him again! I’ve never met a man who I wanted to punch and kiss at the same time. I pulled into a parking space down the street and sent a text telling him exactly where to meet me on Saturday for the wedding.
He liked the text.
What does that mean? Ugh, this man and his scrambled eggs.
And then there’s Andrew stalking me to the bakery.
And the sight of Cam shoving him into the wall.
I don’t care what anyone says. When you have a man stand up for you, it’s about the hottest thing ever. I’m an assertive woman. I can handle myself in most situations, and when Andrew grabbed me and shook me, I was a second away from punching him. When I saw Cam round the corner, flip his hot hands through his wavy hair, grab Andrew and slam him up against the wall, I almost fainted. Andrew was not a scrawny guy, but next to Cam, he looked like a baby bug.
With these thoughts racing through my head, I knew I needed to talk this out with my most levelheaded friend.
Emily owned an art gallery in Old Town Scottsdale a few blocks from Sugar & Spice. I still remember the first time I walked in there, looking for a piece of art for my friend Matt Richardson. He needed something for his new office—we’d just supplied the furniture—but nothing I brought him was good enough. I walked into The Lemon Tree on a whim, hoping I’d find something Matt would actually like. Turns out, he found something he loved at first sight.
When he came in to view the pieces I had selected, he almost tripped walking in the door when he laid eyes on Emily Westhouse. I had never seen Matt nervous or tongue-tied, but when Emily was waiting there with me, in her black sheath dress and heels, and flipping her flame-red hair off her shoulders, that was it. Matt was toast and the rest was history.
“Is this a bad time?” I said when she greeted me at the entrance.
She waved me in. “Are you kidding? I couldn’t believe your text. I was about to grab an early lunch, anyway. Let’s go out the back.” Emily wrapped her arm around me and squeezed. “I’m glad you came to chat with me.”
“Me too. My head is still spinning.”
Once we were seated at the bistro next door and had ordered a couple of iced teas, I recounted my chat with Cam and about what had transpired with Andrew. Emily sat with her mouth open most of the time, only interrupting me to grab my hand and to offer some comfort.
“I don’t even know where to start,” she said. “Your mother had a conversation with your ex and agreed to hire him at your place of business part time in some super disgusting effort to get you two back together?”
“That’s correct.”
“And instead of talking to you herself, she sent Andrew down to the bakery after you mentioned to her you were taking a coffee break down there?”
“You can’t make this shit up.”
She took a deep breath and sipped her tea. “First, enough is enough. You’re going to have to have a serious talk with your mother. I don’t understand why she would sacrifice her relationship with you to bring Andrew into the business after all he did to you.”
“Half the time she blames me for what happened with Andrew.”
Emily shook her head. “How?”
“I think she wishes she had a son.”
When I was growing up, we lived in Cave Creek, Arizona, near my aunt and uncle, who had a quaint adobe house next door. I spent more time at their house, which is where I felt the most loved.
My mother was excellent at teaching me principles about sales, business, and instilling in me the drive to make it all happen. When it came to love and tenderness, though, I had to find that elsewhere. I still see my aunt and uncle on weekends in the fall and spring, but they make the move back to Colorado in the summer where it’s cool and your entire body doesn’t evaporate when you step outside.
“Who would want a son like him?” she asked. “You need to give your mother an ultimatum. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries with Andrew, you’re going to look for another job. She can’t afford to lose you at the business, can she?”
“Since I’m the top salesperson and the only one who truly understands our ordering system, that would be a no.”
Emily pointed her fork at me. “Then use the fact that she needs you to your advantage.”
“Except that I don’t have a different job, and I can’t afford to live in my house if I leave our business. There’s no way I can find something else that pays that well.”
“Never say never. Worst case you live with Laura or me for a while. You’ll figure it out. You always do, but anything is better than working with your toxic mother.”
I rubbed my temples. “True.”
“Why do you think she really sent Andrew to Sugar & Spice?”
“She’s nervous about Cam.”
Emily tented her brows. “Nervous? Why would he make her nervous?”
She asked a question but was smiling as if she already knew the answer.
“Relax,” I said, taking a bite of salad to give me time to think of what to say.
“Maybe I need to be asking why you were there?” She winked at me as she searched through the breadbasket, selecting a pretzel roll.
“I was … I like their éclairs.”
“Says the girl who never orders dessert.”
“Okay, so maybe … I was curious if Cam was there. But that curiosity has been squelched. He absolutely infuriates me.”
“Why? Because he’s devastatingly handsome, bakes amazing pastries, and steps in to protect you from Andrew or … is there another reason?”
“He’s stubborn, grumpy … just everything that he is. I really don’t like him.”
Emily grinned. “Uh-huh. Or, you really don’t like everything he’s making you feel?”
“So how’s Matt?”
“Nice move, but since you asked, remember when he was insistent that we couldn’t get that pug we saw on that shelter’s Facebook page?”
“Yes?”
“I caught him ordering pajamas for him off Amazon the other night.”
My water almost came out my nose when Emily showed me the picture of Matt holding their new pug, Arnie, who was wearing pajamas with little pugs on them. Matt also somehow found a matching adult onesie.
“What a world we live in,” I said.
“Anyway, are you going to be okay?”
“I am now. Thanks to you.”
We paid our bill and walked back to the gallery hand in hand. Emily gave me one last hug, and I headed back to my store to either set my boundary or pack up my desk and look for another job.
I almost didn’t walk into the store when I saw Andrew’s car parked next to my mother’s, but I squared my shoulders and brushed my hair back. This was my business too, and I was going to have to face whatever storm was brewing within its walls. The looks I received as I stormed through the main showroom gave me a hint as to what was waiting for me in the back room.
“Hi, Rachel,” Carol said. She reached out for me, stopping my march. “You got this.” Her voice quivered, and I patted her on the arm to let her know that, yeah, I did. Although I had felt confident after my lunch with Emily, the sensation evaporated the moment I stepped into the office and saw my mother and Andrew seated side by side at my desk. My body felt as though it was sinking into the floor as they stood up to greet me.
“Andrew, I would like to speak to my mother alone, please.”
He hesitated, but once my mother nodded at him, he left the room.
His coat was slung over my chair, so I threw it on the floor. Without a word, my mother picked it up, dusted it off, and slung it over her chair.
I sat down and folded my hands across the desktop. “So, what is this, Mother? Andrew is the son you’ve always wanted? Is that why you’re so eager to get him back in my life?”
She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. “He’s only going to help out on weekends.”
“Mother, he’s a lawyer. He’s part of a busy firm. He doesn’t need a job.”
“We can always use help loading delivery trucks.”
“Forcing me to work with Andrew is only going to push me farther away from both of you.”
Her eyes widened and she clung to arms of the chair as if it were about to take flight. When she finally spoke, her voice was low. “Rachel, when I was your age, I was in the same predicament.”
“Being single is not a predicament!”
“I was single,” she continued, ignoring my comment. “Looking for love and never finding it. And that’s when I met your father. He was so handsome and charming and full of passion. He was not usually a man I would’ve gone home with, but he had such a way about him.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What does your one-night stand have to do with this situation?”
“That man, Cam, he looks at you the same way your father looked at me. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”
“Mother, Andrew was my mistake. I gave him another chance even though he was unfaithful to me. How could you possibly think he would be better for me?”
“He assured me he was ready to commit this time. He was lost, trying to figure it all out.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “By sleeping with Celeste?”
“He’s changed. He promised me he’s changed, Rachel.”
“Well, he hasn’t assured me, and he never will.”
We let the silence pass between us, each one of us not willing to surrender. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. When I dated Andrew, he knew how to appear as the perfect boyfriend around my mother. He was always so respectful and charming in her presence. He would lavish her with gifts and compliments and be on his best behavior whenever she was around. I think deep down she took my finally leaving him hard since, in a messed-up way, it meant that she wouldn’t get to see him anymore.
“I’m only asking you to hear Andrew out and see that’s he’s changed,” mother said, finally breaking this glacial silence hanging over us.
“And what if I do?”
She shrugged. “If he blows it, I’ll ask him to leave.”
“And if I quit, you realize you lose your best salesperson.”
“I don’t want you to quit, RiRi. I’m asking you to give him this last chance, and I promise you, if he fails, he will go and I’ll see to it that he won’t contact you again.”
This was a lose-lose situation, but I knew my mother would not give up until she got what she wanted.
“Fine. You let him work here, but we’re never getting back together. I know Andrew, once a pretty client walks in, you’ll see. He can’t help himself. You can have your fake son around, for now.”
“Rachel …”
“I’ve got work to catch up on. He can start next week, take it or leave it.”
“You won’t regret this, RiRi, you’ll see,” she said with a grin.
She scurried out to deliver the good news to Andrew, who briefly peeked at me before my mother closed the office door. All I wanted to do was bury myself in my project with Victoria, but first …
I had a Google review to write.