New Rules
NEW RULES
CAM
My body tensed in an entirely different way when I saw who it was on my doorbell phone app. “It’s not her … it’s …” I opened the door and my stomach flipped. “Rachel.”
The sun hit her hair creating an ethereal glow around her face. She wore high-waisted cutoffs and a Care Bears T-shirt.
Fuck .
“Hi,” she said with a thin smile. “Are you busy?”
Before I could answer, Roman shouted from behind me. “No, he’s not. Come in.”
Her lips parted slightly as she craned her neck to see into the kitchen. “Oh, I don’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting. I was just leaving,” Roman said, pausing in the doorway to put his arm around me.
Rachel grinned. “Did you two talk?”
“Absolutely,” Roman smiled. “Thanks to you. He even got to elbow me in the nose, which I imagine felt pretty good.”
Rachel gasped. “Wait, what?”
Roman stepped out onto the stoop. “I deserved much worse than that. Thank you for everything, Rachel. You’ve saved both of us.”
Rachel bit her lower lip and threw her arms around Roman. He hugged her gently before walking back to his car.
“Come in, come in,” I said, holding the door open for her.
“Thanks, I won’t stay long.”
I ran my fingers through my hair and hoped my breath wasn’t awful. “Coffee?”
“No, I’m good. I’m so happy you and Roman got to spend some time together … uh, oh … wow, things really did get rough in here.” She surveyed the damage my living room sustained during our brawl.
“We had a discussion that escalated. Early reporting is suggesting there was beer involved.”
“Ahh, well I’m glad you worked it out.”
“Want to sit down?” I asked, motioning toward the living room.
“No. I better not,” she said with a strained voice.
My brows drew together. This was not the bubbly Rachel I had gotten to know the last several months. “I’m so sorry about yesterday. I should never have left you there.”
Rachel shook her head. “No need to apologize.”
“No,” I insisted. “I should’ve apologized sooner. I was spiraling, but that’s no excuse for running away.”
“I appreciate that. Yesterday must have felt so overwhelming. It was for me, anyway, but I had a nice talk with your mom which helped.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, and I realized something. You were right.”
“I was?”
“Losing my job wasn’t about me, it was about you.”
A lump started to form in my throat. Even though I knew this was the case, my heart dropped hearing Rachel say it.
“I went to the wedding and got myself fired for you, not me. I did it for your mother and Roman and lost sight of me … again.”
“It’s still my fault for dragging you to such intense events. You took me to a nice, calm wedding?—”
“Where you got food poisoning,” she added.
I chuckled. “Okay, so that was an unfortunate side effect, but the retirement party was lovely. I should never have asked you to be my plus one for any event involving Britt and Roman.”
“Yes, you should have. And I don’t regret going at all. I’m happy that Roman didn’t marry that bitch. What makes me angry is that I started to lose sight of myself again.”
“You’re such a giving person. Your career is built on helping people create homes they love, and you work in your family business to keep your grandparents’ legacy alive even though that means working for your mother, who always puts you last. You always put others first. It’s time you did that for yourself.”
“I know, but it still doesn’t make what I have to say any easier.”
My chest tightened.
“Anyway,” she continued after what felt like a long pause. “I wanted to come by to say that I can’t be your plus one anymore. Which sucks since wedding season is ramping up again. But I’ve got some things to figure out and so do you.”
“Rachel,” I said, my voice cracking.
“I’ll see you at Laura and Foster’s wedding,” she said, releasing me.
“So … we don’t get to see each other until November?”
“That’s probably best until we sort our crap out.”
“I’m not sure I can do that. Go without seeing you, I mean.”
“Cam, I basically confessed my love for you, and you froze. Trust me, you can do it.”
I wanted to protest, but she was right.
“These past few months have been some of the best times of my life. I’m so lucky I got to be your plus one,” she said, her voice quivering.
“I’m the lucky one.”
“But we need time to think things through.” She took a step back from me and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Having our exes come crawling out of the woodwork did a number on us. I don’t know if this is true for you, but seeing my ex again stirred up all this unresolved hurt that I had stuffed deep down. I’m not sure I ever really dealt with any of it, I just went to work.”
I put my hands on my hips and nodded. “Same for me. And I know you and I have been scared that we’re going to make the same mistakes.”
“Absolutely.” Rachel bit her lip. “So … what if we make some new rules?”
I arched an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m listening.”
“Laura and Foster’s wedding is less than three months away. We take that time to take care of ourselves. The busy season is going to start for the both of us, so it’s a good time for some reflection.”
“Parameters?”
“Radio silence.”
My gaze hit the floor, and I gulped. “I suppose that makes sense. I don’t like it though.”
“When we see each other at the rehearsal dinner, if we still have feelings …” She paused and closed the gap between us that was. “I mean, you know I have feelings for you. Do you?—”
I couldn’t help it. If this was the last time I was going to be near her for a while, I needed to feel her in my arms. My body warmed as I kissed her deeply and when I let go, I cleared my throat and said, “Rachel, of course I have feelings for you. You have been the best thing in my life these past few months. I hate the thought of being away from you, but I’m going to sort out the mess in my head and in my life. And then I’m coming for you. If you’ve found someone else, I wish you all the happiness, but if you haven’t, I’m going to do everything in my power to make you mine and show you what’s it’s like when someone puts you first for a change.”
Her hands untangled from my hair and fell to my chest. Even those little touches sent heat-seeking missiles through me.
“Good, good. That’s good to know,” she said. “Um, anyway, I thought we’d test ourselves with some time and a little space. If these feelings are still as strong when November arrives, we stop the bullshit and go for it.”
“I love it. I’m here for it.”
She laughed and my heart felt light again. She stepped back and stuck out her hand. “Deal?”
I shook her hand, squeezing it and running my thumb over it before releasing. “Deal.”
“You’re totally going to cave first, by the way,” she said with a smirk.
“Uh, no way.” I shook my finger at her. “I predict you’ll be drunk texting me by tonight.”
“You’re going to miss me so much.”
“I already do. Not hiding that.” I stepped in front of her. “But I won’t cave first.”
She had the nerve to pull me to her by my ass, plant one last scorching kiss on my lips, and then nibbled on my ear on the way out.
The absolute audacity of this woman!
She pushed past me and walked through the door. “See you at the rehearsal dinner.”