M Is for Minus One
M IS FOR MINUS ONE
RACHEL
For the first time ever, I declined several wedding invitations because I couldn’t bear going alone. There was no replacing Cam with a different plus one. Not until I knew how he really felt.
In the meantime, I found myself somewhat anticlimactically back at work, since my mother had decided that she and Henry wanted to start cruising more. She was happy that I had not seen Cam in recent weeks but was still bitter about me pushing her limits. Nevertheless, I was amazed at how quickly she forgot about firing me when she needed me to work and when business was picking back up again.
The store was busier than ever, that was true – but my passion for it had dimmed. After I thought that I might not have a job there any longer, it forced me to see what else might be waiting for me on the horizon. For the first time since I started working in our family business, I began to dream of what I could do on my own.
The best part about these new ideas was that I would be doing them by myself, for myself. These months of self-reflection had been so restorative for me. It felt like an emotional reset where I had been able to focus entirely on my own healing and self-care.
There was only one problem.
I missed Cam. I loved him and I still wanted to put my mouth all over him. But I had to stay strong in avoiding him so that I wouldn’t be the first to cave. I was a little surprised that he hadn’t texted me once, but knowing how competitive Cam was, I didn’t let it bother me.
To help keep my mind off him, I would drive around looking for buildings for sale on my way home from work in the evenings. Every time I ran the numbers on the capital it would take to lease any of them, it would tarnish the dream a bit. My only option was to put my nose down and to keep working and saving.
As Laura’s wedding day approached, the preparations kept me happily busy. Sarah and I met at the Phoenician to finalize a few last-minute details with the vendors, and I couldn’t stop smiling. Not only was Laura and Foster’s wedding shaping up to be the event of the year, but tomorrow was the rehearsal—and I’d finally get to see Cam.
On my way home from the Phoenician, I stopped at Olive & Ivy to grab a piece of warm butterscotch cream cake. This was the biggest change I had seen in myself lately. I craved cake and pastries more and more, although salty potatoes would always hold a special place in my heart.
I got in line at the dessert counter, my mouth practically watering. I texted Laura and Emily with a GIF of a woman screaming, excited.
Can’t wait for tomorrow! How are you doing Laura?
Laura
Just another night.
Emily
Seriously?
Laura
JK! Foss and I are loving our little staycay at The Phoenician. Can’t believe I get to marry my bestie.
Can’t wait. See you at 10 am.
Both of them sent back kissing face emojis. I glanced up, moving up one space in line when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw them. Across the restaurant, Cam was having dinner with another woman. A beautiful woman wearing a strapless maxi dress with flowing blond hair. A chill swept through me, numbing everything but the weight in my chest. My pulse stuttered, erratic and desperate, as if my heart was trying to escape the onslaught of emotions.
No.
It can’t …
It can’t be.
Maybe they’re just friends.
Time slowed to an agonizing crawl, and people moved at half speed around me, but all I could see was their table. A server breezed by dropping off the bill to Cam, who signed for it. The room slowly started to spin around me as I watched Cam and the woman stand from the table and hug. Not just any hug. A hug where she giggled in his ear, and he lifted her off the ground.
I couldn’t breathe.
My stomach coiled into a tight spring.
He had found someone else.
I turned suddenly and bumped into the person standing in line behind me.
“Hey!” she shouted.
“Sorry, I’m sorry.”
I rushed out into the cool night and struggled to fill my lungs with air. I swallowed my tears on the ride home, not wanting to waste them on him. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. An attractive, fun, caring man like that would not hold out for me. He wouldn’t just stay single.
I dropped my keys and purse on the floor when I walked into my house, slumped over the arm of my sofa, and lay there, staring at the ceiling.
And the overthinking began.
Thoughts raced through my mind. What if that’s why he never could bring himself to say he was in love? Had he been thinking about that woman the entire time? So that’s why he never caved and broke the rules. He was with someone all the while. During our separation, I had worked hard on my inner demons, to be better for myself as well as Cam, while he had apparently been focused on a busty blond.
I was going to have to swallow this pill all by myself. I would have to get through the wedding, now knowing that Cam has a different plus one.
The worst thing about seeing him with another woman that night was that I couldn’t call my lifelines and have them talk me off this ledge. Everyone was getting ready for the wedding of the year, and I didn’t want to take the focus away from that. It wouldn’t be fair to call Laura or anyone else and bring them down. These were the times I wished I had more family around that lived close by.
That was the night I decided to do something that had been lingering on the edges of my mind for a long time. I traded my Barbie costume for sweat shorts and a sweatshirt, piled my hair on top of my head, and sank into my bed with my iPad.
I opened Facebook and searched the name.
Robert Fayet.
I slammed my eyes shut and waited for the results to pop up. The only other clues my mother had ever given me about my father were that he looked like Colin Firth and he was tall. A list of several men with that name appeared on my screen. A few younger, one older man with white hair who lived in New Jersey, and then …
There he was.
Robert Fayet, Medical Director of UC Health, University of Colorado Hospital, Aurora, Colorado. I googled Aurora and almost gasped. Where Cam and I stayed in Denver had been only about twenty minutes away from his hospital. I had been so close to him that night and didn’t even realize it. Scrolling through his profile, I saw a woman tagged in several pictures, Marigold Fayet, but he typed out Goldie when he referenced her.
“So proud of my daughter graduating top of her class Stanford Med School!” one post read.
As I kept scrolling, a realization swept over me. The woman had short blond hair, but my color eyes. If this were my father, that would make Goldie my half sister.
Snooping these two on Facebook helped take my mind off Cam. Robert looked happy, though I could only see a few pictures since his profile wasn’t public. I resisted the urge to send a friend request and closed my iPad. He might completely the wrong person, but just the possibility that I had more of a family out there was enough to get me through the weekend.