Chapter 5
Amanda
“W hat an asshole,” Ramone said with a sneer as he set down his drink.
The bar was half-empty, but our little group still caught some stares from the neighboring tables.
Rinaldo’s was well known to hipsters for its multicultural cuisine, but even more so for its retro kitsch vibe. It squatted on a corner lot in a stylishly dilapidated building that, but for the signage, could have looked perfectly at home with some 1930s gumshoe trudging up the steps to his office.
The interior was something like a cross between a gypsy wagon and the inside of the house of that weird hippie lady who’s always cooking tofu and brown rice in your neighborhood. The light fixtures were wagon wheels from the old west, and not repainted or anything. Most of the paint had faded or chipped, and the axle bore a coat of rust.
Industrial light bulbs shone at the end of each of the wagon wheel’s spokes. The light they cast sort of had a slight ‘shake’ to it as the filaments inside glowed and pulsed with energy. I found it to be distracting when we first sat down, but soon I was getting used to it.
“What an asshole,” Ramone repeated himself. “I mean, making you get on an airplane for a job interview? Then you had to, what, fly the whole way back all by yourself? ”
“I concur,” Jake said between sips from his light beer. I noticed he’d already used his thumbnail to scrape off most of the paper label. They lay in slightly curled piles on the highly polished table. “How important does this guy think he is?”
Even though part of me wanted to agree with them, it kind of bothered me to hear them talk about Evan like that.
“The thing is, he is that important. I mean, he had to be on location to sign original documents and meet with a county official. It wasn’t something that could have waited, and he really did want to retain my services.”
“I hope he paid you extra for the time you wasted in the plane ride.”
“As a matter of fact, he did.” I gave Jake the stink eye. “He treated it as a consultation and paid me two thousand dollars for my trouble.”
“Two thousand is a good chunk of change,” Ramone said. “Still kind of seems like a jerk to me, though.”
“The fact of the matter is the plane ride back actually gave me some time to work on planning the fake wedding.”
Ramone sniffed; his face etched with derision.
“Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. I mean, it’s got to be bad karma to try and make up a fake wedding for publicity, right?”
Obviously, I hadn’t told them about my having sex with Evan on the plane ride to his meeting.
“Lots of people do the fake wedding thing. Do you really think that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian married each other for love?”
Jake shook his head and took a lingering sip of his beer, pointedly not looking at me. I gave him a glare.
“Something you want to say to me, Jake?”
“Just that you sound rather cynical about this whole love thing, that’s all.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It’s not called being cynical, Jake. It’s called being a realist. I am a realist, whereas you are an optimist who sees everything through rose-colored glasses.”
I sounded a little bitter, even to my own ears. I guess it had to do with Evan’s change in attitude after we had sex on the plane. He’d been so loving, so intensely passionate and into me during the sex. And then, he’d turned into a cold-blooded businessman again.
I mean, he hadn’t texted me or anything since, except to inquire about practical things about my plans for his fake wedding.
“Still, won’t people be mad if it turns out he had a fake wedding?” Ramone shook his head. “It just seems like you’re inviting disaster into your life if you take this job on.”
“You’re being overdramatic, Ramone.” Jennifer sipped on her—virgin—mimosa and frowned at him. “No one’s likely to find out. Not with NDAs floating around, making everyone tight-lipped out of legal necessity.”
Jennifer looked over at me.
“Don’t listen to him, Amanda. There are many, many things more unethical than a fake wedding. You have to ask yourself, who’s really being hurt?”
Jake opened his mouth to object, then closed it. I saw the wheels turning in his gaze. Then he looked up hopefully.
“What if one of the people in the fake wedding catches feels?”
“Feels?” Ramone looked worried. “Is that some kind of new social disease or something? Should I be investing in condom manufacturers?”
“Feels, man,” Jake said, running a hand down his face. “Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘catching feels’ before? ”
“Jake means, what if one of the people in the fake wedding winds up falling in love for real.” I gave Jake a look. “Is that what you’re driving at, big man?”
Jake nodded sagely.
“Well, while I agree that you have a point, more or less…” I took a long sip of my appletini. “…the fact of the matter is, it’s not my problem if one of them falls in love. Evan’s not going to anyway, and I’m sure that whatever supermodel or movie starlet he entices into his scheme will be going in with her eyes wide open.”
“Getting back to my original point,” Jennifer said wryly, “before I was so rudely interrupted. It seems to me that no one is really going to get hurt, except maybe the participants, and that’s their fault for participating in the fake wedding in the first place.”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“Frankly, I don’t see the harm in it. It’s a nice distraction for people.”
“Not to mention that at the wedding ceremony, I’ve gotten Evan to agree to make a speech about the rainforest. Plus, I’m going to have a lot of Amazon themes to help drive the point home and gain more publicity for the charity. I’m totally down with this plan, guys. Like Jennifer said, nobody’s going to get hurt.”
“So,” Ramone said, “how does one go about planning a fake wedding?”
“The same way one plans a real wedding, I guess.” I shrugged. “I mean, that’s how I’m handling it. You’ll still have to get all the usual trappings. A venue, flowers, tablescaping, a caterer, so on and so forth.”
My brow scrunched up with worry.
“Of course, right now there’s only so much I can do in terms of planning.”
“Why is that?” Jake asked, finally scraping the last bit of label off of his beer.
“Well, it’s quite simple, really. One of the key facets of planning a wedding is this—who are you planning it for? What are their tastes, their desires, what makes them open their mouth and gasp with awe and pleasure? What gets them excited? What turns them on?”
I wound down and noticed all three of them looking at me with mischievous grins on their faces.
“I’m starting to sound awfully sexual about all of this, aren’t I?”
“Yup,” Jake said.
“Just a little,” Ramone agreed.
I supposed it was my need to confess my sexcapade to someone coming out on a conscious level. That, or I just had an inherently dirty mind.
“Well, the main thing to take away from all of this is, our charity will have a huge surge in publicity thanks to the world-famous Evan Jones using his magnetism and charisma to draw eyes our way.”
Jake and Ramone kind of nodded, as if they agreed.
I took in everyone with my gaze.
“It’s time for us to start strategizing on how to maximize Evan’s popularity for our cause. Ramone, Jake, are you with me? I need you to bring your best ideas forward for this.”
Jake nodded, and then he had a light of realization dawn in his eyes.
“Ooh, ooh, I’ve got it. Whichever one of us…”
He gestured between himself and Ramone.
“…comes up with the best strategy for maximizing Evan’s popularity for the cause will be the one that Jennifer will name the baby after.”
“That sounds like a great idea,” Ramone said, “which is something you’ve never had in your life before.”
Ramone stared at Jennifer’s belly.
“You hear that in there, little guy? Your name is going to be Ramone. And everyone in the world will look at you and know that there goes a real ladies’ man.”
“Can you not talk about things like that to Jen’s unborn baby?” I said with a scowl.
“It’s not like little Ramone understands what I’m saying yet.”
“I understand,” I grumbled, but Jennifer didn’t seem to mind.
She cast her gaze at both of them, and then subtly moved it over toward me.
“Jake, Ramone, I think the two of us need some girl time. Could you give us a minute?”
“That depends,” Ramone said cryptically. “Do you mind taking the check?”
Jake laughed.
“Zing!”
The two of them high-fived, and I began to question my existence, that I had these people for friends.
“Of course I’ll get the check,” she said dryly. “Marshall and I own this restaurant. Now scram, you two. Go find somewhere else to share your pearls of wisdom.”
The two of them stood up and headed for the door, arguing the whole way.
“You know that the best way to use Evan is going to be talking about his boogie boarding, right? Like he could boogie board down the Amazon,” Jake said.
“Are you an idiot? You need an ocean to boogie board,” Ramone replied.
“You’re not considering how we can use his washboard abs to draw attention to our cause.”
“And you’re not considering that there are no waves on the Amazon.”
They vanished out the door, and I turned back to Jennifer.
“Alone at last, eh? I hope you’re not about to tell me we have to fire those two.”
She scoffed and dismissed my concerns with a wave.
“Oh, those two have been with us since forever. I would never fire them. I am seriously considering naming my children after them, for heaven’s sake.”
I laughed, feeling a little bit better.
“What I wanted to talk to you about is, what’s eating you?” She reached across the table and took my hand. “I mean, ever since you got back from that plane ride, you’ve been kind of different.”
I heaved a long sigh and decided to take the plunge and tell Jennifer everything.
“I may have, um…” My throat suddenly felt dry. I took a sip of my drink and continued. “I may have slept with Evan on the plane.”
Jennifer’s jaw dropped open, and she let out an excited squeal.
“Look at you!” she punched me playfully on the arm. “You go, girl!”
“You’re not upset with me?”
“Why would I be upset? You’re a grown-ass woman, and who you sleep with is your business.”
I let out a long sigh, feeling relief at having finally confessed. Now I could feel melancholy about it.
“The thing is, as good as it was at the time, he changed afterward. He got all… cold. Distant.” I hugged myself and shivered, though the restaurant was hardly cold. “I’m such an idiot. ”
I shook my head.
“Not for that part. For thinking that, you know, that there might be something more to it. You know? That thinking someone like him could ever be with someone like me.”
Jennifer snorted. “Oh please, you’re always so down on yourself. You deserve a hundred Evans.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend.”
She put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a little shake.
“Hey now, come on. You’re sassy, smart, damn good at your job, and you have a great sense of humor. Of course Evan’s interested in you. What guy wouldn’t be interested in you?”
Much as I hated to admit it, her pep talk did make me feel better. I still wasn’t convinced that I hadn’t bitten off more than I could chew with how I felt for Evan, but she did make me believe in myself, at least for a little while.
I reached for my drink and knocked over my purse. My phone spilled out, and I frowned when I saw the screen. I had more than a dozen missed calls and half that many messages.
I scrolled through the messages and found they were all from the same person, someone called Jenna. It took me a moment to recall that Jenna was the name of Evan’s personal assistant. It was through her I was to have most of my contact with him. Another degree of separation that had me wondering if I wasn’t a sucker after all.
“Who in the world is trying to get a hold of you that much?” Jennifer asked. Her eyes lit up eagerly. “Oooh, is it Evan?”
“No, it’s Evan’s assistant,” I said as I stared at the screen. “Her last text says there’s been a complication.”
“A complication?”
“She wasn’t more specific. The one thing she was clear on though, is this—the wedding’s been canceled.”