Chapter 20
TWENTY
CLARA
The moment Luke walks out of the door, my entire world shatters. It doesn’t matter that I pushed him out of the door. I still didn’t want him to leave. It’s for the best, though. Clearly, he knows that this is for the best as well because he didn’t try too hard to stay.
“Clara,” Barbara calls out.
Reluctantly, I turn away from the door and look over to see her sitting in the living room. She’s facing me, her eyes wide, and I hate that she saw all of that. How freaking embarrassing. I wait for her to ask me about it, but she doesn’t.
“What happened at work?” she asks.
Wincing, I move toward the sofa and flop down on the cushions. I feel them bounce as I do. Reaching for one of the pillows, I place it in my lap and hug it as I rest my chin against it and look across the room to her.
“I got fired,” I whisper. “Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“They told me that for the foreseeable future, they didn’t have a place for me in the classroom any longer.” Barbara gasps, lifting her hand to cover her mouth. Instead of making her wait, I tell her about the rest of my meeting. “They told me that I could teach an online class. I accepted the position. It’s a little bit of a pay cut, but I don’t have to leave the house.”
“Online,” Barbara whispers. “But you love the classroom.”
She’s right. I do love the classroom. I love everything about the kids. They’re wild and uncontrollable, but they’re funny and sweet as well. I love them all, and I’m going to be sad that I can’t see them every day, but at the same time, I don’t have much of a choice. The district offered me this job, and right now, there is nobody else who will hire me. So, I accepted the position.
“Hopefully, I’ll be able to be in the classroom again soon,” I say.
“That’s why you broke up with Luke?”
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I tug on the flesh slightly before I release it. “I broke up with him so he wouldn’t lose his own career. His plan wasn’t going to work.”
“Clara,” Barbara hisses. “You should talk to him.”
I’m sure I should, but the reality is that he will do whatever it takes to stay together, and I know it’s just not possible. The world thinks we’re siblings. They are not going to easily forget this. It doesn’t matter what kind of scandal comes next. I am and will always be Luke’s sister to the world.
Even though I know that I’m not that. I’ve never been his sister. I’m just the daughter of the woman who married his father.
“I don’t think I will,” I say before I straighten.
My feet carry me toward my bedroom, but I stop and look over my shoulder at Barbara. She gives me a sad smile, and I match it. I know something is going on between her and Neil, and I plan on talking to her about it, but I need a few hours to feel sorry for myself first.
I slip into my room, close the door behind me, and lean against it, closing my eyes. I still feel as if there is a dark cloud hovering around me. I’m trying to do the right thing here, but everything about this feels wrong, from the moment Luke came in with his plan, from the second I was offered the teaching job, and then our breakup—or rather, me breaking up with him.
I love him, and I want to be with him.
But I can’t keep him.