Chapter 29
twenty-nine
Harper
SO FULL.
When my eyes opened again, it was morning, and once again the room was far brighter than it should have been.
Panic seized my chest, because while I wasn’t officially required to work from the office over the weekend, it was now Monday, and I needed to be there already.
“Fuck!” I cursed, whipping the blankets back as I scrambled out of bed, almost slipping as I raced to my wardrobe to get dressed.
Benny groaned, his arm patting the bed beside him as he searched for me while still half asleep. When he couldn’t find me, one eye opened to look around until he spotted me yanking clothes from their hangers out of my wardrobe.
With my pants pulled on and my shirt half buttoned, I grabbed my phone to call Matthew, wondering why he’d not woken me when I hadn’t met him at the car this morning.
I unlocked it to find there was already a text waiting for me.
Matthew
I’ve told your father that you’re violently ill.
I slumped, relief smoothing over my anxiety. I should have known Matthew would have covered for me.
And what did he say?
I replied, padding back over to the bed to flop on top of Benny, breathing in his warm scent like it was my personal anti-anxiety medication. His hand rubbed my back soothingly.
“Alright?” His deep rumbly voice calmed me further.
“I slept in again.”
“What time is it?”
“Just after nine.”
He hummed.
My phone buzzed.
Matthew
He said you can work from home.
Of course he did. No days off in hell.
I dropped my phone on the bed and snuggled back into Benny, who had apparently already drifted back off to sleep.
Just five more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
After we’d had sex for the first time on Saturday, Benny had carried me to the shower, and I’d let him. Then he’d carried me to the kitchen to hand-feed me dinner.
Food tasted different when it came from his hands.
He insisted on dessert as well, and though I hadn’t wanted it, he’d looked at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes. So how could I refuse?
Then we’d watched a movie. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d turned the TV in the living room on. I fell asleep with Benny as my pillow and the blanket Matthew gave me draped over us, and I didn’t wake up until Sunday morning. I hadn’t remembered Benny carrying me to bed.
I’d never slept so much in one weekend in all my life.
We woke up slowly on Sunday, with warm gentle touches until I had to force myself to get up and catch up on anything I missed by logging off early on Saturday.
That afternoon, I’d introduced him properly to Aurelia, Juliette, and Celestine.
Benny had clearly been apprehensive, but he’d tried not to show it.
He wasn’t very good at masking himself, though, so for the most part I’d left them in their tanks.
But I was sure I’d get him to come around to them.
Apart from Matthew, they were the only real family I had, and I wanted him to like them.
I supposed that was how he felt about me meeting his family too. I wanted to give that to him, but what if they told people? Especially Rachel. She only had to tell one person at the company and it could spread like wildfire and end me. My stomach knotted with anxiety whenever I thought about it.
Later Sunday evening, after work, I’d made Benny eat me out again. I never knew I’d like it so much, and Benny seemed to genuinely love doing it, so why not? Then I secured his hands to my headboard with a necktie and rode him again.
I really needed to invest in some handcuffs, maybe some other bondage gear. I was probably done with blindfolds, though. I loved being able to see the raw emotion and pleasure in Benny’s beautiful brown eyes.
Then last night, while he traced delicate, invisible patterns over my skin, he told me more about his family.
Ma, Rachel, and his nephews. He told me his dad died in a car accident when he was a kid, and that he still missed him very much.
His ma couldn’t stand being in that house without him, so they’d packed up, left Boston, and moved to Harborview.
I’d told him things too, things I didn’t think I’d ever speak out loud.
I told him about my parents, and Logan. I told him about the message Logan had sent me, and that it still hurt to think about it after all these years.
I told him my mom had lost herself to the pills around the same time. I told him more about my dad.
He’d listened to all of it without speaking, just letting me get it out as he learned about where I’d come from. Even when his jaw and fists clenched in rage at some of the things I said, he held me close, quiet and safe, and I loved him for it.
I wanted to tell him more, tell him everything, including all the details about what Tristan had done to Logan, about exactly what had happened when he tried to do the same to me, but I wasn’t ready yet.
Then he’d sucked me off and I gave him a hand job, and we’d fallen asleep early again.
But now it was Monday, and I should have been at the office.
Matthew couldn’t keep covering for me.
I’d steal today, give us one more day together to live in the little bubble we’d made this apartment into, and then tomorrow I’d leave the warmth he filled it with to go back to my cold reality.
I kissed his soft lips, gently calling him out of sleep and back to me. “Do you need to go to the gym, pup?”
He shook his head. “No. They don’t need me there,” he grumbled. Then his eyes closed again and I gave him a final kiss before getting up and logging on.
Benny was good at not distracting me while I worked. When I zoned back into my surroundings throughout the day there would always be coffee, tea, or snacks placed next to me. Often, he’d be kneeling on the ground next to me in silence. Running my fingers through his hair was a comfort to us both.
The elevator dinged from the living room, and I mourned the loss of being able to see his big dick and perfectly round ass as he covered up.
Benny hadn’t expected to stay this long when he showed up on Friday.
He hadn’t brought extra clothes with him, and he couldn’t exactly borrow mine.
It wasn’t an issue, though. I liked him being naked.
“It’s probably just Matthew,” I told him. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
When I realized my eyes were straining from the darkness of the room, I checked the time to find it was just past seven, and it had been far longer than a few minutes.
I also noticed that Benny wasn’t here with me.
I logged off and followed the sound of voices to the kitchen.
Matthew was still here, talking to Benny. Neither of them had noticed me yet.
“And he doesn’t much care for sweets, besides chocolate cake, but even then there’s really only one he likes. I’ll write it down for you.”
Benny was nodding, a focused expression over his features, like he was learning crucial information.
“I’ll give you my number too,” Matthew told him. “In case you need anything.”
“You’re conspiring against me.” I finally spoke and both of their eyes snapped to me.
At least Benny had the decency to seem sheepish about it. Matthew simply turned his nose up at me and continued telling Benny the things I liked to eat.
I rolled my eyes, going back to my room to fetch Aurelia, knowing she hadn’t been out as much this weekend and she was getting restless. With Matthew here, it was unlikely Benny was going to be all over me for a while.
Together, we watched as Matthew and Benny prepared dinner. Matthew was bossing Benny around, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he seemed like he was used to it, and I wondered if his ma also ordered him around in the kitchen.
I liked seeing them together. Liked knowing Benny was here because Matthew had brought him here. Because Matthew accepted me and approved of him. Of both of us.
They made lasagna. And while it tasted good, I found myself mostly pushing the food around my plate with my fork rather than eating it.
A warm hand smoothed over my leg under the table, and Benny’s lips pressed against my temple.
His fork scooped up some of the mess I’d made my plate into and held it to my lips.
I sighed, but I was apparently powerless to deny him anything, and parted them to take in the mouthful, confirming that while it already tasted good, it tasted better when he fed me.
“Are you still feeling sick?” Matthew asked me, a warm satisfaction in his eyes I didn’t think I’d seen in a while.
I knew what he was asking. Did I want to keep working from home, keep existing in this warm bubble, and while the answer was absolutely yes, it wasn’t the responsible thing to do. In fact, it was increasing the risk that we’d attract my father’s attention.
“I’m feeling much better.”
Matthew nodded and Benny slumped slightly, but a soft smile still pulled at his lips when I turned to look at him.
After we’d finished, Benny and Matthew argued about who got to clean the dishes, finally settling on Benny washing and Matthew drying them to put them away. Aurelia and I continued to watch.
“I’ll take you to work at the usual time tomorrow?” Matthew asked as he hugged me before leaving.
I nodded. “I’ll make sure I’m on time.”
Then he was gone, and we were alone again.
“Maybe…” Benny fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt. “You could come to my house next weekend? Or earlier… like Thursday? Or tomorrow? Or both? All? Fuck, you can move in right now if you want to. Sorry. I’m not good at bein’ calm about things.”
I laughed, gripping his jaw and dragging him down to steal his lips. He was so damn adorable.
“I’ll see what work is like for the week and let you know, pup.”
He nodded, and I was trying very hard not to think too deeply about what it would be like to live with him. To have what we’d had this weekend all the time.
There was no way we could do that without my father knowing, though. So it wasn’t possible. Not now… and maybe not ever.