Chapter 44 Harper
forty-four
Harper
RUNAWAYS.
Every day was harder than the last as weeks passed. I lived off the cash I’d taken from the ATM the day I’d quit my job, staying in the cheapest motels and eating only enough to keep myself from passing out.
I’d found a bag of new clothes in the trunk of Benny’s car, and I’d been wearing them.
He’d been buying me new styles and colors these past few months to see if I’d like them.
I wasn’t sure pink sweaters and booty shorts were my thing, but I didn’t want to waste my limited funds on something so unimportant as clothing.
Leon seemed to have left Benny and his family alone, at least from what I could tell when I looked them up.
After days of him trying to contact me, I’d ditched my phone, bought the cheapest one I could replace it with and still use the internet, and continued on.
There was a hole in my chest, and I figured it was because my heart had stayed with him. It left me with a growing void in its place.
Some days, I didn’t even get out of the shitty hotel bed, even though I was incapable of sleeping.
I couldn’t go back. Not until I found a way to fix this and keep them all safe. But what could I do?
How was I supposed to take on Leon when he had everything and I had nothing?
Weeks of thinking, and only one answer presented itself.
But how?
How could I get rid of Leon and return home?
Benny was light. He was color. He was music. He was good.
My hands were already too tainted to hold him. If I ruined them further, I would never be able to let myself touch him again.
I was alone.
I fucking hated being alone.
How much longer could I continue like this? How long was it possible to run for?
I thought of Dex’s rabbit. He’d been running far longer than I had. Was he exhausted too? Did he also run because he was trying to keep others safe?
I’d been considering contacting Dex.
If Leon had been anyone else, maybe Dex would have been able to help me.
Then again, why would he? I still hadn’t repaid him for what he’d already done for me.
Maybe I could now. If Jonah was running too, maybe I could repay Dex and still keep Benny safe.
I’d never met Jonah, but maybe he was like me. Maybe he was alone too. Maybe he’d understand in a way no one else could.
I’d saved the important contacts into my new phone so I could access them if I needed to, even though I’d cut off any chance they had of contacting me.
It wasn’t fair. It was selfish. I knew that. But it would have been more selfish to stay with them.
Dex answered on my second call, told me where he was, close to Jonah but not too close, and I set off to meet him in West Virginia.
Hollow Creek was the smallest town I’d ever been to. Right in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Jonah’s tracker had put him here for the last three weeks. Why he’d chosen this place out of anywhere to slow down, I didn’t know. I just hoped I wouldn’t have to stick around here for too long with him.
Dex was one town over, close enough he could get to Jonah if he wanted to, but not close enough they’d accidentally bump into each other.
He’d seemed so tired, but all he cared about was sticking close to Jonah, so that whenever he was ready to stop running, Dex would be there to catch him.
Would Benny chase me that long if we were in the same situation? Was Benny looking for me now?
Dex had warned me about Jonah, told me he was wary around new people, and that the best method of getting close to him would be to make him feel protective of me.
I had no idea how to accomplish that.
“If he believes you’re running from someone because you’re scared, he’ll want to help you. He’s very protective,” he’d told me.
“I’m not an actor,” I’d argued.
“You don’t need to be emotional. Just tell him your ex hit you.”
“I’m not doing that.”
He rolled his eyes. “Then imply it. You don’t have to lie. Just let him make his own assumptions.”
I’d groaned. “Why would he just assume that Benny’s abusive?”
“The black eye.”
“What black eye?” I’d asked. And then the bastard punched me.
I shivered as I stood across the road from the Rusty Nail. A terrible name for a bar, but I supposed it suited the establishment it belonged to.
“What’s he doing?” Dex asked on our call.
“Still serving drinks,” I informed him. Again.
The bar’s windows were cloudy, but I could make out only one person who matched Jonah’s description. Dex was making me keep watch while he searched Jonah’s motel room. I had no idea what he was looking for, and I didn’t care.
He was talking to some old guy who’d come up to me in the store this afternoon and asked a million questions about why I was here.
I hadn’t missed the disgust on his face whenever his eyes flicked to my sweater.
While pink wasn’t my color, Benny had picked this out for me, and I felt oddly protective over it.
“I’m done here; you can come back. He didn’t see you?”
“No. He was just working. I doubt he’s that paranoid.”
Dex scoffed. “I’m going to head off before anyone spots my truck. Contact me if anything happens.”
“Sure,” I sighed. The line went dead.
Dex had given me strict instructions that I shouldn’t just approach Jonah, because his rabbit would run away. I had to try and meet him “organically.” Who knew how long that would take, but in a town this small? I was betting it wouldn’t be long.
I’d never had to do my own laundry before being on the run. My family always had maids, and once I moved in with Benny, he or Matthew had been doing it for me.
Why was every single washing machine so different? Every time I needed to clean my clothes, I had to figure out how to use the machines all over again.
Almost all the buttons were faded on these ones, so I had no idea what setting my clothes were currently on or how long it would take for them to be cleaned.
I took a seat to watch the machine, convinced I’d potentially done something wrong and it would start spraying water at any moment or something.
I missed Benny all the time. And Matthew, and just…
home. I missed my snakes, who I knew Benny would find a way to care for.
I missed my family. My real family: Benny, Matthew, Ginny, Rachel, and the boys.
I missed the way my clothes smelled when Benny washed them.
The scent of home had completely washed away and that, at least today, was the thing that set me off.
The void in my chest grew bigger, the dull throbbing in my bruised eye increasing as I tried to keep my frustrations from leaking out.
So of course it was that moment the door opened and Jonah walked in.