24. Nick
Chapter twenty-four
Nick
I pull the covers up over Maddie’s bare shoulder as she sleeps. She looks content. My lips curl up in a satisfied grin.
I should be exhausted too. But my brain is on fire with new lyrics and ideas to try.
Her face is peaceful, with no mischievous glint lighting up in her eyes. I’m tempted to kiss her awake to see it. But she needs her rest. She seems okay after yesterday’s break-in, but maybe she’s not sharing her fears with me.
Is it one of my crazy fans? Or her investigation?
At least we’re safe in Luca’s apartment, but she’s going to be out there investigating this.
I can’t protect her. My stomach clenches.
I run my hand through my hair. I haven’t given Maddie my usual disclosure that this relationship isn’t for the long-term. I wasn’t thinking straight last night. I wasn’t thinking at all last night.
I’m in deep.
But the last person I want to hurt is Maddie. I need to be upfront that I’ll be on the road a lot, and that’s no life for a relationship. My chest tightens with pain.
And it’s even worse now with social media.
Our Ciel date inspired mostly positive comments, but there were the usual negative ones. She’s trying too hard. She’s only dating him for the money. As if. Maddie hasn’t mentioned them, and she tried to reassure me that she wasn’t going to check the comments—based on Iris’s advice.
Will that really work?
Especially now that I’ve seen how Maddie reacted to her middle school bully.
I slip out of our room and downstairs to Luca’s soundproofed library, where I’ve stored all my guitars.
The best way for me to work out what I feel is to write it down and create music.
I pick up my guitar and strum the opening notes of the song in my head.
I write the last stanza down.
I don’t want to tell Maddie that there’s an expiration date on this relationship. I can’t . Let me believe for once that this can work out. If it’s going to work out with anyone, it’s Maddie.
I rush back to our bedroom.
Unless the culprit is one of my crazy fans. Then it’s safer for Maddie if we break up. I crawl into the bed next to her and wrap my arms around her. She snuggles into me, and I breathe in her soft scent. Let me enjoy this for now.
Luca’s kitchen is stocked. I’m impressed. He must dine in more than I realized. He’s cooked the gang some late-night pasta, but I thought that was a one-off. Maddie peppers me with little kisses as she leans into me. I hug her tightly, and her stomach growls.
“Let’s feed you,” I say.
“He has everything here,” Maddie says. “This is better than a breakfast buffet at a fancy hotel. Does he host people here a lot?”
“Maybe clients? He’s not dating anyone right now,” I say.
I scramble eggs for our breakfast while Maddie burns the toast.
“Should I make more?” She scrapes off the blackened edges. “I’m used to my toaster that barely works.”
“No. I like my toast crispy,” I say.
“You’ll forget it when you have my magical smoothie.” She hands me a spoon to try her pink concoction.
I sip the frothy mixture. “Mm. This is really good. I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me all this time.”
“It seems like we were both holding out on each other,” she says.
“I definitely didn’t think you liked me,” I say.
She opens her mouth and then shuts it, as if to reconsider what she was going to say. “I didn’t think you’d be interested in me .”
“Because I’m Nick Devlin?” I ask.
“I was going to say that,” she says. “But also because your last girlfriend worked for Vogue and looked like she could be a model there. And I work the city beat and can blend in with a crowd.”
“You don’t blend in with a crowd for me, Maddie,” I say. “I’ve found your face every time you’ve been at a concert—when the lights aren’t blinding me.”
She pulls me in for a kiss. “You’re just Nick to me—this guy who is creative and passionate about music and other endeavors.” She blushes.
I can’t wait to make her blush again.
“Hold that thought, or our eggs are going to burn too.” I quickly turn off the burner and divide my scrambled eggs between the two plates and set them out on the table. Then I pick her up and stick her on the counter, sliding between her thighs to very much resume that thought.
But eventually we pull away so that we can eat our now-cold eggs and toast.
“I woke up last night, and you’d disappeared. Did you write?” she asks.
“You’re good for my songwriting career, but don’t worry. It’s about the emotion I feel. I want to keep our day-to-day moments as private as possible. I want to hide away with you and protect us from the world.”
“It’s okay, Nick,” she says. “I’ll be careful with my investigation, and it’s good for us to show the world that we work together.”
“Let’s hope that they accept our explanation for why we were fake dating,” I say.
“This is not a conversation I’m looking forward to,” she says. “But I’m excited to come home to you tonight.”
Our MusEn producer can’t be too mad about our fake dating, right? Isn’t it common practice in the music industry?
Nonetheless, the entire band is waiting with me in this conference room lined with framed band posters.
They insisted on coming to “have my back.” And of course, this affects their big break.
Again . Why is this such a roller coaster?
But I feel a wave of gratitude towards them that we’re sticking together.
Our producer breezes through the door and rushes up to me, putting both hands on my face. “We’re so relieved you’re safe from last night’s attack. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” I say. “My security camera alerted us, but it was scary. And now we’ve moved into my friend’s place, which has more security.”
“You’re sure it’s enough?” she asks.
“As sure as I can be,” I say. “But that’s not actually why we asked to meet with you.”
“Oh?” She sits down. “You all look serious.”
“Maddie’s apartment was ransacked.” I take a big breath—that shattered monitor still shakes me. “One of the things stolen was our dating contract. We were fake dating, but now we’re dating for real.” I then hand over a printout of my photo of our contract.
She blinks and stares at the piece of paper.
“We thought we should warn you and any PR people,” I say. “And also, I wanted to say I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront about this arrangement. But now we are truly dating.”
“You lied to us?” Ashley asks.
“I didn’t lie about my feelings for Maddie,” I say. “My feelings for Maddie are recorded in my songs ‘Fever Dreams’ and ‘Peony.’ And I dedicated ‘Knocking’ to her, although that was before we were dating when I was teasing her about always knocking on the wall to tell me to stop making noise.”
“But can I even believe those are about Maddie?” Ashley asks. “How do I know you didn’t just say that for the interview? Let me get PR in here.” She texts someone.
“They are definitely about Maddie,” I say.
“I suggested that they fake date because it was clear to all of us that Nick liked Maddie,” Amira says. “But he’d never act on it because…” She pauses.
No . Not my childhood dissected in this cold conference room.
“He didn’t think she liked him,” Sayo says.
I shoot her a grateful glance.
The PR person knocks on the door, and our producer steps out to talk to her.
We all stare at each other. This doesn’t bode well.
“I’m sorry again that I suggested it,” Amira says.
“I’m not,” I say. “I appreciate your matchmaking, and it worked. We’re dating. I am happy.”
The PR and our producer return, but their faces are serious.
Is this really that big of a deal? I was more worried about Maddie having to tell her boss.
They sit across from us, and the PR person clears her throat.
She takes another look at my printout of the contract from my phone and then turns the paper facedown.
“Lying to your fans is not a good look. Especially given your brand image of open and honest and vulnerable. We would never have thought that you would fake date.”
My chest clenches. She’s right. I’ve always tried to be real in my lyrics and to speak my truth.
She continues, “The best thing to do would be to break up. That solves the problem. Then it doesn’t matter if you were fake dating.
The relationship no longer exists, so how excited can the fans get over this brief interlude where you guys pretended to date?
They’ll be happy you’re single again and that they can imagine you’re a possibility for them to date.
But in keeping the relationship going, there will always be people who don’t believe it’s real. Breaking up makes it a nonissue.”
My eyes narrow. Breaking up seems like a drastic response, and I don’t want to end things with Maddie. My producer must have some ulterior motive. Have they decided that my dating the girl next door is not the image they envision for me?
I like Maddie. But at what cost? How much leverage do I have?