Chapter Thirty-Four
Zarmenus was wrong.
That was not, in fact, fun.
We touch down in front of Clark Hall. My legs feel woozy, and I stagger into the wall in order to hold myself up. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins at a level that could be dangerous, and I’m finding it difficult to breathe.
In a whirl of fire, Zarmenus transforms back to his human form.
Actually, wait. That was fun. After the pure shot of terror that was takeoff, the next scary part was how high up we were.
But once I figured out I was safe, I actually started to enjoy it.
The moon is nearly full tonight, and I got a great view of the campus from so high up.
It felt like going on a scary roller coaster.
When Zarmenus and I get back to our room, I notice the eye is gone.
“Guess it got bored,” says Zarmenus. “Or it found someone more interesting to watch.”
I don’t mind where it is, as long as it’s not here. It means our room is more peaceful. Bell is curled up on the floor, and the doll is back on my bed.
We weren’t at the party long, so I’m not exactly tired.
I guess I’ll just watch a movie in bed until it’s time to call it a night.
I am kind of sweaty, though, from the flight.
I go into the bathroom as Zarmenus pulls on a tank top, replacing his burned shirt.
As I flick the bathroom light on, I’m expecting to see the ghoul, but the bathroom is empty at the moment.
I shower and brush my teeth, then get changed into my pj’s.
In the mirror, my reflection catches my eye.
Who am I? I flew across the campus with a demon. I said yes to that. I don’t regret it, I’m so glad that I did. I just feel so different. There’s no way the old me would’ve said yes, I would’ve been too terrified of all the ways it could’ve gone wrong.
Then I remember what Adam said to me. He still doesn’t believe us, and apparently Tyrell doesn’t, either.
As if on cue, I get a text from him.
Hey, that was quite an exit! Just making sure you’re okay.
I lock my phone. I’m simply not sure how to deal with that situation this very second.
It all starts to catch up with me. I was so confident at the party, and it felt great. But now I feel my usual anxieties creeping back in. I want them gone, I really do, but I’ve never been able to control my thoughts. I wish I could.
He’d never say it, because I do think Zarmenus likes me as a person, but there’s no way any of these things would be happening if it weren’t for our pact.
He wouldn’t take me on flights across campus or join me in a bathroom to try to pull a ruse on a bunch of rich assholes.
I’ve been having the time of my life doing these things, but I can’t forget that they wouldn’t be happening if I weren’t helping him.
I leave the bathroom. Zarmenus is sitting in his bed with his headphones on. I grab my laptop and climb into bed. Bell jumps onto my lap, clearly unhappy my laptop is taking away my attention. I scratch between her ears and she starts to purr.
I scroll on Netflix, trying to find something to watch.
But my mind is now stuck on what Adam said to me.
As fun as everything has been, I can’t get over the thought that this is all built on a lie.
I shouldn’t be having as much fun as I had tonight, because this isn’t my real life.
I don’t belong at that party and I don’t belong with Zarmenus.
I’m just here to stop his parents from getting mad at him.
Plus, if I let myself enjoy this too much, it’ll be devastating when it ends. Which it will. It has to.
“Hey,” says Zarmenus, from underneath me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You know if you’re not, you can talk to me, right?”
“I know,” I say, and I chew my lip. Why is talking about what I’m feeling scarier than going on a flight carried by a demon? In that case, facing my fears paid off. I should do that again.
“It’s what Adam said,” I say.
“About Tyrell, you mean?”
“That, and, like, why he’s suspicious. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for you. It’s the whole reason he suspects anything.”
“Oh, ignore him,” he says. “He’s jealous.”
“Yeah, maybe, but … I don’t know.”
He gets out of bed. “Talk to me. Is it something I did?”
“No. Not at all.”
“So it’s just Adam?”
“Yeah, but—” I stop myself. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Come on, tell me. This is a safe space, I promise. I showed you what I really look like, remember?”
“You were worried about that?”
“Petrified,” he says. “I thought you’d think I’m horrifying. I was scared you might end the whole thing.”
I don’t think that at all. He was scary and monstrous but also incredibly cool and, in a way, beautiful.
“No chance, I like how you look.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I feel like he said what everyone’s thinking.”
“What?” scoffs Zarmenus, like what I said is ridiculous. “Owen, no. If anything, you’re too good for me.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“Why do you feel like this? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know,” I say. Talking about this is getting me on the verge of tears.
I don’t understand how just thinking about saying these long-held thoughts can make me feel so exposed.
I want to close up, but maybe I can continue being brave like I was at the party by telling Zarmenus exactly what I’m thinking.
“I can’t help but think none of this would be happening if it weren’t for our deal,” I say, my voice shaking.
“Which makes me sad, because I like what we’re doing.
Plus, I’m hurt that Adam thinks we don’t make sense as a couple, and it’s because I’m not good enough.
I’m kind of going through it realizing that’s how people see me.
Not that I should even care because you’re obviously incredible and, like, you being here is historic and nobody could ever compete with that.
Sorry, my brain is doing this weird big spiral and I can’t stop it. I’ll shut up now.”
“Oh,” he says. “In that case, I can put your mind at ease. I know what we’re doing is mutually beneficial, but when I first moved in I wanted to date you.”
“What?” I say, laughing because I’m so surprised. “What do you mean?”
“You’re so cute and sweet and wholesome and, I dunno, I really wanted you to like me.”
He’s said that already, but now he means in a non-platonic way.
“Demons don’t really date,” he says. “But in human shows dating is like this big, exciting thing. There’s always this ‘will they, won’t they’ thing that seems so fun.
And when I first met you I was like, that’s a guy I could date.
So I don’t want you thinking for even a second that I, or anyone else, thinks what Adam said, okay? Because it’s not true.”
“Okay,” I say. “Sorry I’m like this.”
“Don’t ever apologize for your thoughts, not to me. Feeling better?”
“Much,” I say.
I put my headphones back on.
But wait.
Did Zarmenus just say that he wanted to date me for real?
As I’m waking up, I feel something cold and wet on my ankle. I kick my leg, shaking it off, and something long and dark falls off the bed and onto the ground with a heavy thud. I sit up, a scream caught in my throat.
It was a tentacle. A freaking giant tentacle.
I’m frozen in place as it slowly retreats, disappearing into the murky darkness under our bunk bed. As soon as it vanishes, my entire body shudders. I check my ankle. The skin feels cold, and has turned slightly pink, but other than that, I’m fine.
I guess last night’s quiet was too much to ask for.
I take in a few breaths, letting myself settle.
Why did I say to Zarmenus that I was okay with the terrors?
I know it comes with the territory, and they’re not his fault.
Keeping a wary eye on the darkness under the bed, I send him a message telling him what happened.
My phone buzzes. Oh no I’m sorry!! I’ll deal with it after class.
I imagine him going to war against the monster, which makes me laugh. Then I remember what he said last night. He pretty much said he thinks I’m boyfriend material. Real boyfriend material. My phone buzzes again, only this time the message isn’t from him. It’s from Leeke.
Come to my office as soon as you can.
I brace myself, then do an internet search for Zarmenus to see if there’s an explanation as to why Leeke wants to see me.
Videos of last night are circulating. Some are of him in his true form, but the one gaining the most traction is the one of us leaving the bathroom.
I guess one of them lied when they said they had deleted it, or had a backup.
I watch the clip, and see myself emerging from the bathroom, looking incredibly guilty.
This must be what Leeke wants to talk about.
I climb back into bed and face-plant.
I give myself a few minutes, then get up and go to Leeke’s office.
“Good morning,” she says as she lets me inside. Zarmenus is already sitting in his chair, looking like a scalded schoolboy. I have a tiny amount of hope that she has called us here for a reason other than the video, but that hope is dying with every second that passes.
“I’m sure you both know why you’re here,” she says.
“I’m sorry,” says Zarmenus. “I couldn’t keep my hands off him.”
“That’s sweet,” she says. “I know it might not seem like it to you, but I remember what it’s like to be young. Your enthusiasm for each other isn’t the issue.”
It isn’t?
“In America,” says Leeke, “the legal drinking age is twenty-one. I expected both of you to know that.”
I start to blush. I did only have one drink, but I doubt that line of argument will do me much good. I’ve seen the video a few times now, and we’re both holding cups in it.
“It’s clear now that your every action is a potential worldwide headline,” she says. “I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on two people as young as you. But I wanted to remind each of you that Point has a strict no drugs or alcohol policy for underage students.”
“I wasn’t technically drinking alcohol,” says Zarmenus. “Unless drinking nightshade potion is a crime.”
Leeke glares at him, but the corners of her lips hint at a smile.
“All I ask is the two of you refrain from breaking too many rules. I’d hate to tell your parents, Zarmenus.
As for you, Owen, remember that your actions now may very well define you for the rest of your life.
Before you do anything you have to think: Is this what I want coming up if a future employer were to research me? ”
She’s right. I don’t really want a clip of me drinking underage and leaving a bathroom with a guy to be the first impression I make to anyone who looks me up online.
“We’ll be better,” I say.
“Good,” she says. “You’re doing well, but let’s not take our eyes off our goal, all right?”
Even though she’s disciplining us, I realize something.
This video has worked wonders for us. There’s no doubt in her voice at all that we aren’t a real couple.
This could be enough to silence Adam and possibly Tyrell, as their voices will be drowned out.
Even though I know the truth, watching the video, it truly looks like Zarmenus and I were caught hooking up.
We’ve accidentally done it.
We’ve convinced the world we’re a real couple.