2. Iris
Chapter two
Iris
I follow the “North Pole” signs lining the hallway to the conference room to participate in the Dream Company’s annual office Secret Snowflake gift exchange. The conference room is decorated for all denominations for the holiday season, and Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby” is playing in the background. A large menorah waits in one corner, ready to glow with light. A Kwanzaa candle display sits on the table, and a red-and-green half-decorated Christmas tree stands in another corner. Wearing an elf hat, which rather suits her, Jazmine is hanging some red bulbs on it. Amelia is supervising—with a tape measure in hand?
“I think they need to be two inches apart,” Amelia says. “Set decoration and production design are coming, and I don’t want this to look unprofessional. What if Xavier shows up?”
Xavier is the CEO of Dream Entertainment.
“I think he will understand this is more about the spirit of Christmas.” Still, Jazmine hangs the red bulb where Amelia is pointing.
Amelia checks her list. “I’m going to check on the drinks.” She hands Jazmine the tape measure.
“I’m so tempted to stick a purple bulb in the center of this,” Jazmine mutters as Amelia walks away. Still, we hang the rest of the bulbs, properly spaced.
I recognize a few people: some from marketing, IT, and the studios. It seems like a good cross-section of the company.
“I plastered the accounting room with posters about this Secret Snowflake exchange, so I hope Aaron signs up—and I draw his name. I can give him a romantic dinner date for two,” Jazmine says. She’s had a crush on Aaron in Accounting for the past year.
“As long as you’re one of the two,” I say.
“I would be. Given the $30 spending limit, it would have to be me making a home-cooked meal for the two of us.”
“Very clever,” I say.
Whoever gets her as his or her Secret Snowflake will be lucky.
We meander over to the center table, which is full of home-baked goods and breakfast pastries. I pour myself a mug of hot chocolate and take a slice of Jazmine’s delicious chocolate babka. It’s her grandmother’s recipe. Croissants and bagels fill out the breakfast spread.
“Isn’t there anyone who interests you?” Jazmine asks. “What about Sebastian? He was quick to jump in and rescue you at the retreat two weeks ago. You guys looked cozy together when you were talking that night.”
I can feel my cheeks redden. “That was before I saw him at my friend Tessa’s engagement party and realized he is the Sebastian who has sworn to remain forever single. I definitely don’t want to pursue a guy who wants to remain single. What fun is that?”
“That seems a waste,” Jazmine says.
I laugh. “It’s such a waste.” I take a bite of the babka. “This is so good, Jazmine.”
“Thank you,” Jazmine says. “Do you know why he doesn’t date?”
“I don’t know. Lily doesn’t know either. Some bro code. Her boyfriend just says Sebastian has his reasons.”
“If I wasn’t interested in Aaron, I’d take that as a challenge.” Jazmine raises her eyebrow at me.
I shake my head. “I take it as a red flag. He was so hurt by someone in the past that he’s firmly declared that he’s a fortress now.”
“Hmm…except that sounds like someone else I know. Patrick wasn’t worthy of you, and he’s not worthy of being the reason you’ve taken a hiatus from dating.”
“I haven’t declared I’m a fortress.”
“But you’re not dating right now?” Jazmine shakes her head, the bell on her hat jingling.
“That was because of work. I’m definitely looking for a certain type of guy.” The opposite of Patrick. What had I been thinking? Patrick always complained when I had to work late on the nights he didn’t perform. Now I’m looking for a guy who supports my career wholeheartedly. The plan is to be absolutely systematic and rational when choosing whom I next date and vet him properly before tumbling into any romantic entanglements. “And I live with my parents. I can’t exactly bring a guy home and then it’s ‘meet my parents’ for breakfast. And if I call them up to tell them I’m not coming home, they’ll give me the third degree about how well I know this man etc.”
The room is filling up with more of our coworkers, and we retreat to a corner by the tree. I breathe in the pine scent. Maybe I should buy myself a small tree for my bedroom since I won’t be decorating my own apartment this year. Still, the goal is to have my own place by the new year, once I get my bonus.
“What type of guy? Any possibilities from the office?”
“I don’t want to date someone at work. Lily has a guy in mind from the library; he often comes in there to read. She just has to think of some way to bring it up.”
“I hope you get Sebastian,” she says. “You might be just the one to melt the ice fortress guarding his heart.”
“If I see him again at a friend’s party, maybe I’ll try to figure out his deal.”
“I can’t believe you guys have friends in common and you never met before he helped you through that window.”
“Shh. That’s a statement very much prone to misinterpretation,” I say.
“Or not.” Jazmine winks. “There was some definite heat. I was surprised when he volunteered to help.”
“I think we win the workaholics award,” I say. “But that engagement party was the one event we both couldn’t miss.”
“Well, your free time was also committed to attending Patrick’s concerts.”
My stomach clenches. I tried so hard. And for what ?
Amelia announces that the Secret Snowflake exchange is now open for sign-ups and explains the rules. “Happiest of holidays to everyone!”
Everyone claps and whistles. I finish my cake and hot chocolate and throw out the empty plate and cup.
We walk over to the sign-up table. Jazmine pitches her name in the large brown burlap sack first. I write my name and desk location on the lined scrap of paper and then toss it in.
One of the guys from my cybersecurity unit, Hank, comes over. “Have you seen Raphael? I haven’t seen him since Kevin called him to his office this morning.”
“No. Poor Raphael,” I say. “Kevin has been impossible to please lately.”
“It’s probably a discussion about bonuses.” Hank smiles. “Are you actually signing up for this?”
“Yes. Aren’t you?”
“No. I’m just here for the free food. Why would I want a gift from someone who doesn’t know me? Or to have to spend my time buying crap for someone else?”
“I think you’re actually supposed to put some thought into the gifts. Enjoy the food,” I say as Jazmine grabs my arm to pull me away into a corner.
She squeezes hard. “Aaron is here!”
A tall guy wearing wire-rimmed glasses walks up to the sign-up table, followed by the rest of the accounting department. Jazmine’s posters definitely worked.
Clusters of colleagues mill about, conversations buzzing.
Amelia calls us all to line up to pick our Secret Snowflake from the burlap sack. Jazmine is nearly vibrating with excitement in front of me.
“I love the holidays,” she says.
“That’s lucky, given that you celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa.”
She smiles. “I know. But I love all the messages of hope, giving, family, and community. Don’t you?”
Yes, but I haven’t felt very hopeful recently. All I do is work—without much time to see family or friends. At least I’ll be able to get home tonight in time to decorate our family bar. But I used to love Christmas. Nothing compares to the joyful anticipation of Christmas morning—and all the family hanging out together.
Jazmine picks first. Then I put my hand in the sack, the rough burlap contrasting with the smooth feel of the paper. We move off to the side before we unfold our crumpled-up pieces of paper to reveal whose names we’ve drawn. All around us people are chattering, excitedly discovering their Secret Snowflakes.
Jazmine takes a big breath. “I can’t believe I’m nervous.”
“You should just ask Aaron out.”
“He’s an accountant. He probably doesn’t believe in dating at the office. I need to sneak into his heart so he can’t not date me. My strategy of running into him whenever he takes a coffee break doesn’t seem to be working.”
“No. He only seems to think you drink a lot of coffee.”
“Well, that I do,” she says, gesturing to her bright-pink thermos, now set down on the table near us.
I pat her back. “I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to date you. Really.”
She unfolds her slip of paper. “Ernest.” Her shoulders slump.
I unwrap mine. “Aaron.” I hand it to her and take her slip.
“Are you serious?” she asks. “You got Aaron!”
“And now you have Aaron. Happy holidays,” I say.
“Thank you. Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
Jazmine clutches the name to her chest, the biggest grin lighting up her face. I only hope Aaron is worthy of her.
“And Ernest is perfect for me.”
“Are you interested in Ernest?” Jazmine playfully punches my shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m not dating someone in the office. But if I was going to date someone in the office, he would be a definite possibility.”
He works in accounting. He often has this quizzical expression on his face that is cute. He seems very…dependable. And trustworthy.
“I’ll try to find out the scoop on him from Aaron—if I ever actually talk to Aaron,” Jazmine says. “But Ernest and Sebastian have been eating lunch together lately. Maybe Sebastian is friends with him?”
“Really? That’s perfect. I can ask Sebastian what’s a good gift for Ernest and figure out why Sebastian has sworn off relationships.” I grin. If I give Ernest the perfect gift, it might spark his notice.
“You are interested in Sebastian.” She wags her finger at me.
“I am definitely not interested. He’s exactly what I’ve sworn off. But I’m intrigued by why he wants to remain single—as another person who’s joined the single bandwagon.”
“But given that he’s friends with Lily’s boyfriend and Tessa’s fiancé, doesn’t that speak well for him?”
“It speaks well for him, but not for a relationship with him. It’s bad enough that Patrick plays in bars around the Lower East Side and I periodically run into him. Imagine if I had to see Patrick for years at friend get-togethers.” I shudder. At least I no longer have to avoid the lower loop of Central Park. That was really annoying because I like to run there. Patrick cleverly wrote a song with a New York refrain, and the pedicabs love to blare it as they cycle tourists around, and for a while, I just couldn’t take it. Now if I hear his songs, my heart doesn’t ache like it did. And I don’t regret dating Patrick, because even if it did end painfully, I learned things about myself I couldn’t have figured out otherwise. What I’m looking for now is someone trustworthy and dependable, someone whose appeal is not on view—a hidden gem, so to speak. No more heart-melting, gorgeous rock stars for me.
“It seems like you’ve given Sebastian some thought.”
“I haven’t. Okay, maybe a few thoughts, and then I reminded myself of why Sebastian’s all wrong for me, including that—even though you disagree—dating in the office seems like a bad idea to me.”
“Sounds like a calculated risk to me. One that’s worth taking.”
“You were listening to our cybersecurity presentation the other day.”
“Of course.”
My phone beeps. I check it.
Raphael: Malware. Someone clicked on a phishing email.
“Work. I’ll see you later.”
“You never get a break. Thanks again,” Jazmine says. “I will definitely figure out a way to repay you.”
“Now I’m worried.” I wave good-bye and rush to Raphael’s office.
I knock and enter Raphael’s office. He points to his monitor. “I neutralized the malware and gave the employee a new laptop, but it’s lucky you implemented so much network segmentation. It was isolated to that area. I forwarded you the phishing email so you can add it to our database of successful examples.”
“Not like we need any more. What were they trying to steal?”
“I don’t know. We’ve secured the movie database,” he says. “That’s our most valuable asset. But we should knock some more items off our vulnerability assessment.”
“Will do.”
I leave Raphael’s office and head to the canteen to grab more coffee. It’s going to be a long day.
I type as I round the corner into the canteen—right into a hard chest.
“Whoa,” Sebastian says as he holds up a steaming paper cup of coffee, the lid now slightly askew.
I pull back. “I’m so sorry. Did it spill?”
“Only a little,” he says, retreating back into the canteen and setting down the coffee. Two brown spots dot the cuff of his crisp white button-down shirt.
Great. Now I’m also a klutz.
I grab a napkin, wet it, and dab at his sleeve. He smells of fresh air.
“You smell like you just came in from outside.” I look up at his face. I’m standing way too close.
He blinks. “I just met with Bob and then took a walk around the block to clear my head.”
“The meeting was that bad?” I ask. Bob is Dream’s General Counsel, so that doesn’t bode well.
He raises his eyebrows and looks off to the side then glances back. “Just a lot to think about. It seems like you’re also multi-tasking.” He gestures to my phone.
“Yes. Work’s been busy,” I say.
He unbuttons his cuff and reveals two spots of red on his wrists.
“You’re hurt,” I say. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Iris,” he says.
The way he says my name makes my heart melt a little.
“I can just roll it up. I’m sure it will come out in the wash,” he says. “And I have an extra shirt in my office.”
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention,” I say. “You need to run your shirt under cold water immediately so the stain doesn’t set. Let me get some ice for the burn. Run both your wrist and your sleeve under the cold water.” I walk over to the ice maker and wrap some ice in paper towels as Sebastian runs his shirt sleeve and wrist under cold water.
“The stain has already come out,” he says. “Don’t worry about it.”
I put the ice cube in the towel on his wrist. “But just keep this here for a little bit. I’ll feel much better.”
His eyes are a very deep blue, and his voice holds a reassuring deep tone. He really is so attractive. And at the engagement party, he was funny, teasing Zeke warmly.
Still, the absolute last person I should be intrigued about is someone who has sworn to remain single.
Jazmine enters the canteen. “You two look cozy.” She winks at me.
I shoot her a look. The last thing I need is Sebastian thinking I’m hitting on him, especially when I know he’s off-limits. So embarrassing.
“I was typing on my phone while I walked. I bumped into him and spilled his coffee,” I say quickly.
Aaron enters the canteen at that moment. Jazmine grins at me and mouths, Perfect timing .
“It’s a party,” she says. “Have you met everyone here?”
Aaron adjusts his glasses and says, “No. I’m Aaron. I work in accounting.”
“I’m Sebastian, in Legal. I’ve seen you around when I’ve met with Ernest.”
“Iris in Cybersecurity.”
“Good to meet you all,” Aaron says.
I realize I’m still holding Sebastian’s wrist and pressing an ice cube to it, and cold water is now dripping all over his shirt sleeve and the counter.
“I think I’m good now,” Sebastian says.
I nod quickly, dropping his wrist. I throw the ice cubes into the sink and the wet towel into the garbage. His wrist looks better. The red spots aren’t going to blister. Sebastian rolls up his sleeves, revealing very attractive forearms. I’ve always liked that look on a man. Off-limits. Not for me. I’ve learned my lesson.
He secures the lid to his coffee cup and picks it up.
“Good to meet all of you,” Sebastian says. “I’m off.”
Jazmine tilts her head at me, indicating I should leave.
“Same. Me too.” I follow Sebastian out of the canteen into the carpeted hallway.
He stops after we round the corner, but this time, I manage not to bump into him.
“Didn’t you forget something?” he asks, a twinkle lighting up his eyes.
I have my phone. “I don’t think so.”
“Didn’t you want a coffee?”
Great. Now I look like a complete idiot. “I’m awake now. Having scarred you for life.”
“I doubt you’ve scarred me for life. And anyway, the care afterwards was worth the burn.” He smiles mischievously at me.
And this is exactly why he’s off-limits. Look at how easy it was for him to make that sound flirtatious.
“Do you want my coffee?” he asks.
“I’m not going to take your coffee too.” I should ask him about Ernest. “I have a question for you.”
And then suddenly my boss’s boss Kevin enters the hallway. “Nice to see you have time for socializing, Murphy.”
“Maybe you can stop by later to discuss that legal question,” Sebastian says.
“Perfect,” I say and retreat down the hallway to my desk. Does he actually think I have a legal question for him? Or was he just trying to help me by making Kevin think I was discussing work? Still, the privacy of his office will be much better for what I want to discuss with him.