37. Sebastian
Chapter thirty-seven
Sebastian
T he tiny Christmas tree on my coffee table looks a bit lost in my apartment, especially with all the socks clipped with wooden clothes pins to the branches. Maybe I should have bought a bigger tree. Should I put on some music? Probably not. Then it will look more like I’m trying to seduce her rather than sit down and talk.
I can’t wait to see Iris. It’s now so clear to me that this is the right choice. If only I’d realized that immediately. Even if I don’t get this job at Shooting Stars, I’ll find another job.
The doorman buzzes to let me know she’s on her way up.
I prop open my front door and pace in the hallway. What if she doesn’t take me back?
The elevator opens, and she steps out. And we both just stand there, drinking each other in.
“I’m so sorry I was such an idiot. I’ll change jobs,” I say quickly.
“You don’t have to. But I know you’re trying. I just interviewed for a job at Shooting Stars, and the CEO mentioned your name. I applied for the Deputy CISO job there—Raphael is CISO, and they offered it to me, and it’s perfect for me,” she says without a breath.
“What?”
She smiles. And I’m so happy to see that grin that I just reach out and pull her into my arms.
“Can we just hug for a minute?” I ask. “It seems like we’re back, and I wasn’t sure we would be, and I just want to hold you.”
I hold her tight and bury my face in her hair. It smells of peony. And she squeezes me right back.
We finally release each other—sort of. I don’t release her hand, and instead I pull her into the living room.
“You bought a Christmas tree,” she says.
“A small one. We should get a big one together.” I pull her down to sit on the couch next to me. “But wait, you don’t have to give up CISO to be Deputy CISO. I’ll leave Dream, and you can stay there. Our being together is much more important than the job or that title. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it immediately.”
“No, I had to realize it as well. And that you were right—there is a third way. And actually, reporting to Raphael is perfect. I already know that we work well together, and we will get to build our own department. And I’ll hopefully have a life as well. And the Shooting Stars CEO is so cool. I like her much better than Xavier. You can stay at Dream.”
“Okay. I should cancel my interview, then. But only if you’re absolutely sure. Because I want to support what you want. You don’t have to leave Dream.”
“Liam was annoyed I was staying at Dream, given how they treated me. But Shooting Stars hasn’t called you to cancel the interview?” she asks. “They know we’re dating. She asked me what I thought of you, and I said I couldn’t be unbiased because I was dating you. I didn’t want to say we’d actually broken up. And I said there was a no-dating rule at Dream.”
“You sure you don’t want to think about it overnight?” I ask.
“I’m positive. I feel good about this.”
I pick up my phone. “I can text her now that I can’t interview for the job since we’re dating.” I text that message to the CEO.
“Why is your Christmas tree decorated with socks? Is this to make the point that you really like socks?” She touches one. “Why are they numbered?”
“Not quite,” I say. “I prefer to think of them as stockings. You should respect the role of socks as a very laudable Christmas gift.”
Iris faces me on the couch and a serious expression crosses her face. What now?
“I want to apologize that you felt I wasn’t fully on board with this relationship.” Iris holds my face between her hands. “I love you.” Her face softens.
She loves me . My heart feels full.
Her thumbs trace my cheekbones. “I love you. You’re the most amazing guy. You were so completely in my corner during this whole horrible crisis, and you even made it fun. I was completely devastated, and then sitting with you in my room, figuring out Raphael’s clues, I was actually having a good time. It should have been one of the scariest moments of my life because my whole career could have gone down in flames. And yet, I was happy. It's because you were there for me. I feel so lucky that you want to be with me. And I’m sorry I was scared.” Her beautiful hazel eyes brim with tears. “I love you.”
“Don’t cry.” I brush a tear away with my thumb. “Please don’t cry. It hurts me so much to see you cry. I love you so much.” I do. It’s overwhelming how much I love her.
I enfold her in my arms. We just hold each other tightly, and then I kiss her. And it’s like we’re finding each other again, but with a deeper knowledge of our strengths and our frailties and with the confidence that this will last. But it’s also worth celebrating now and not taking any of this for granted.
My phone beeps. I ignore it. It beeps again. I should’ve silenced the thing. We ignore it.
When we finally break apart, we grin at each other.
“So the socks—sorry—stockings?” she asks.
“It’s a scavenger hunt for you,” I say.
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
I nod. I don’t want to ever let her go.
“You should check your messages,” she says. “In case it’s your family or something.”
I pick up my phone and silence it at the same time.
“It’s the CEO from Shooting Stars. She says that they definitely don’t have a no-dating policy because her husband works there as a film director, and they started the company together. She hopes I will come for the interview tomorrow.”
“You should go, then, if you want,” she says.
“I do. I’m not happy with how Dream treated you either,” I say.
“But you don’t think this is another weird Colby/Xavier situation?” she asks, her brow suddenly furrowed.
“My father spoke very highly of Christy’s integrity, so I don’t think so.” I text back that I’ll be there tomorrow to interview, as planned. “It turns out my father knows her and recommended me. But I don’t think they’ll hire me based on that alone.”
“Not for a counsel position,” she says.
Iris turns the first sock upside down. Out drops a chocolate chip. At least it didn’t melt. She pulls out a Levain Bakery napkin.
She looks at me quizzically. “Okay, Levain Bakery chocolate chips. Not what I was expecting, but interesting. Definitely yummy.”
“Open the next one.” Have I made this too obscure?
She pulls out a photo of the Emerald City house in Dyker Heights. “Is this like a tour of every place we’ve visited? I love it.”
She turns over the card. On the back is written:
“ Emerald City exists in the magical land of _ _ .”
“Oz,” she says.
She reaches into the next sock and pulls out a picture of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
She smiles at me, but it’s more of a “this is cute” expression.
I can’t wait until she figures it out .
The next sock has a picture of a Yuletide cake. Her brow furrows. She clearly thinks I need some help in making scavenger hunts.
She opens up sock number five, which has a photo of the Hudson River.
“We should glue all these into a scrapbook,” she says. I love that she’s trying to make the best of what she clearly thinks is a random assortment of memories from our relationship so far.
Sock number six has a photo of my bicycle. On the back, I underlined the b faintly. She holds that picture for a moment. And then she looks back at the clues which are all lined up on the table.
“L for Levain Bakery, O for Oz, Oh cool. Love. But R for Rudoph, so not V. Unless is this supposed to be Vixen? But how does Yuletide cake fit in? Lovy. Or is it an e because you eat a Yuletide cake? But this is clearly Rudoph. The nose is glowing red.”
I tilt my head, but I don’t say yes or no.
Clue number seven is a photo of the Rockefeller Christmas tree, and clue number eight is an abbreviation for Christmas.
“Xmas?” she asks.
I nod.
She writes down the first letters of all the words on a legal pad on my coffee table.
LORYHbrX
She glances at me quickly, her eyes widening. “Caesar’s cipher?”
I kiss her on the forehead. She quickly figures out the letters that are three letters behind these.
I LOVE YOU
“I love you,” she says.
“I love you,” I say. “Exactly.”
She puts her hands to her mouth and just stares at me. “This is so unbelievably romantic and perfect for me.”
“You’re unbelievably perfect for me in every way,” I say.