Chapter 27
twenty-seven
. . .
Rafe
Emerson had always been the only girl in the family when we were growing up. The only female sibling and the only female cousin.
She had a huge wedding planned with her ex-fiancé, who cheated on her and slept with her maid of honor shortly before the big day.
We’d all hurt for my sister. She finished her pediatric residency at a big-city hospital, training under the top physicians in the country, and she changed course.
Her life had been turned upside down, and she moved to a small town, Magnolia Falls, where she found Nash Heart. He and his son, Cutler, were not what she was looking for, yet she’d written a new ending to her story.
A much better ending.
The ending she deserved.
And now we were all going to celebrate her wedding to the man of her dreams. This weekend was full of events, as my mom had planned most of it, and she’d gone all out.
There was a bridal shower yesterday, just for local family and friends, and her girls from Magnolia Falls had come into town early to celebrate with her, as well.
Lulu had been included like she was part of the family. She and my mom had grown close, and Emerson had FaceTimed with Lulu several times about fashion advice.
She fit in with my family like she’d always been there.
Of course, the girl that finally fits and feels right is the one I can’t have.
The one I can’t keep.
Maybe that was why it felt safe, because I knew it couldn’t go anywhere.
I wanted to believe that I was only in this deep because I knew she was leaving.
I wanted that to be true.
But in my gut, I knew differently.
And somehow, my sister seemed suspicious, as well. She and I had walked over to pick up some parsley from the Green Basket that my mother needed for the rehearsal dinner tonight.
Emerson had asked me to come with her, but I had a feeling she had an agenda because as soon as we left the store with the parsley, she suggested we take the long way home and walk along the river.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked.
She smiled up at me. “I’ve been ready since the day he asked me to marry him.”
“I’m so glad you held out and found what you deserve, Em.”
“Me, too. It’s funny, you know? I moved to Magnolia Falls after I called off the wedding to Collin, and the last thing I was looking for was love. But maybe that’s how it’s supposed to happen.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You know how Dad said he just felt different with Mom? Their connection was different from anything they’d ever experienced. I never had that with Collin, but I didn’t think it meant anything because we’d known one another most of our lives. I had nothing to compare it to until I met Nash. And everything was just different, you know?”
“That makes sense. It all turned out as it should. I’m so happy for you. You deserve the fairytale. The happily ever after. All that romantic bullshit.” I barked out a laugh.
“What about you? Don’t you deserve that, too?”
I quirked a brow. “I don’t think everyone is looking for the same thing. I’m a pretty happy dude, no need to worry.”
“I know you are, Rafe. I’ve never worried about you. But I’ve also never seen you like this.” She shrugged as we paused to sit on the bench along the trail, staring out at the water.
“Like what? I thought this was your wedding weekend. Did you lure me out here to psychoanalyze me?” I asked, my voice laced with humor.
“No. I’m being honest with you. You’ve always been a happy guy, but you’re different with Lulu. I didn’t know you could be happier than you already were,” she chuckled. “But there’s a comfort there that surprised me. It’s like you two have known one another forever.”
“We just get along really well. And I told you that we started off faking it, so maybe we’re just really good actors.”
She turned to look at me. “Come on, Rafe. There is nothing fake going on there. And your reasons for putting on a show when you first met her are gone. Yet you’re still basically shacked up together. You freaked out when Sherry Carlton wanted to take a two-week vacation with you after you’d been dating for three months. Yet you are happily living with Lulu Sonnet. Clearly, there is something deeper there. We all see it.”
“Sherry Carlton wanted to move things along much quicker than I did. I never liked staying at her place because she had three cats, and you know I don’t do well with sneaky pussies.” I waggled my brows at her as her head tipped back in laughter. “And I’ve always been cautious having a woman stay at my place because if you don’t want to spend the night, you can’t just make up an excuse and go home. Because you’re already home.”
“Yet you live at Easton’s house with Lulu. Word on the street is, you aren’t staying in separate bedrooms. You spend all your free time together, and I see the way you look at her, Rafe. I see the way she looks at you, too. Stop trying to make it like it’s not a big deal. What are you so afraid of?”
Damn. Leave it to my sister to ask the big questions.
I blew out a breath. “Listen, Em, I’m not going to lie. I didn’t anticipate it turning into this. And once it did, I just rolled with it. She reminds me at least once a day that she’s leaving. We’ve got three weeks left, and she’ll be moving to Paris for at least six months, if not a year. I live here. We agreed that we’ll call this done when she leaves.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“Honestly, I don’t think about it. We’ve always known there was an expiration date.”
“But you didn’t know you’d feel this way about her. Or am I misreading it? Is it not serious?” she pressed. She already knew the goddamn answer. I was basically living with her, all while knowing that she was not staying.
Who would agree to this deal?
Only a guy who was madly in love with a girl and wants to keep her as long as he can.
“It doesn’t really matter, does it? She has these big dreams, and I love that about her. She’s going to go launch her business in Paris, and my life is here. So analyzing our feelings won’t do anyone any good.”
“Well, you’re only talking to me. I’m not suggesting you have to dissect it with her or anyone else. But you could tell me what you’re feeling. I’m sure it’s hard to always be the guy that plays it cool. The guy who pretends nothing bothers him. The guy that will always be okay.” She squeezed my hand. “I tried to be that girl for a long time, Rafe. And after my life blew up, I wasn’t okay. And what I learned is that you don’t have to always be okay. If you feel the way that I think you do, it’s going to hurt like hell when she leaves. I just want you to know that you can talk to me.”
Fuck. Am I that easy to read now?
“I agreed to this deal. I knew what I was getting into, and I did it with both eyes open.”
“So you deserve to suffer alone in that? When you agreed to this deal, you didn’t know that your feelings would be what they are now. So it’s okay to be upset that she’s leaving. It’s okay to say that you want her to stay.”
“I’d never fucking say that,” I said, surprised at how harsh my words were.
Her eyes widened. “Why not?”
“Because she dated a dude who held her back for a long time. She was born into a family that has put a lot of pressure on her to present herself a certain way. But she has dreams and things she wants to accomplish, and those won’t happen here in Rosewood River. I’d rather be heartbroken and alone than hold her back. I’d never be the one to put her in a box. She deserves to spread her wings and fly.”
My sister’s eyes watered, and she squeezed my hands. “You’re in love with her.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. She already knew it.
“Listen, it’s your big weekend. We’ve got to get this parsley home before Mom has a panic attack, and I don’t want to dive any deeper into this. I don’t have blinders on, and there are no surprises coming. She and I have been very open and honest with one another about our future, and I agreed to it. And I’ll respect it.”
“Have you told her that you love her?”
I pushed to my feet, irritation moving through me. I did not want to talk about this anymore. “No, Em. That would make things more complicated.”
“For who? Her or you?”
“Both of us. Some things don’t need to be said. Now let’s go celebrate your big day. Mom’s probably losing her mind waiting for the damn parsley,” I chuckled, desperately trying to distract myself from my thoughts.
Emerson wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, Rafe. You’re such a good man.”
“Love you, too, sis.” I smiled down at her, and we started walking home.
She dropped the subject, and I was grateful.
When we got home, a slew of people who worked for the wedding planner were in the backyard getting things set up for tomorrow. This was what Emerson wanted. A wedding at the childhood home where we’d grown up.
Henley and Easton were sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine with Nash, while Lulu and Cutler were playing cards in the same place they’d been when we left.
I handed my mom the bag of parsley and suddenly wondered what the urgency was. “The rehearsal dinner isn’t even here, and the wedding tomorrow is catered. What did you need the parsley for?”
“Oh, turns out I don’t need parsley,” she said with a chuckle. “But wasn’t it nice to have a little time with Em?”
“You are a devious woman.” I wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head.
“All right, we need to get home and change if we want to make it to the restaurant on time,” Easton said, with Henley on his heels.
“Beefcake, you’re a shark!” Lulu said over a fit of laughter and tossed the cards onto the table.
“I don’t know, Lulu. You had me worried for a minute.” Cutler pretended to swipe his brow. “Uncle Rafe, your girl is a shark, too.”
Your girl.
“Hey, I thought you said that I was your girl.” Lulu ruffled his hair and smiled down at him.
“Oh, you’re my girl, too, Lulu. But I just didn’t want to hurt Uncle Rafe’s feels,” he said.
“You mean Uncle Rafe’s feelings.” Nash quirked a brow.
“Nope. I mean feels, because Mama told me that Uncle Rafe is all in his feels for Lulu.”
Everyone erupted in laughter, and I rolled my eyes, acting unfazed.
But they were right.
Uncle Rafe was definitely up in all his feels for this girl.