Chapter 32
thirty-two
. . .
Lulu
Paris in the springtime was everything I thought it would be.
The people were all dressed to the nines, cigarettes in hand, as they enjoyed their evening glass of wine.
I came to the same café every night after work, and I sat alone, enjoying a glass of wine and wishing I was embracing my new life more.
I glanced at the couple beside me. They were laughing as they sat on the same side of the table, which seemed weird to those of us not from here, but they don’t call it the most romantic city in the world for nothing.
The man was admiring her bracelet as he fiddled with her wrist.
My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I realized it was an MSL design she was wearing.
It was always exciting to see my designs out in the world.
But watching them reminded me how lonely I felt most days. It wasn’t because I didn’t have opportunities to be with other people. I worked in an office with several employees who worked in the French division of Laredo. My mother had made sure I had a gorgeous space to work, and there were several people my age working here, so it would be fairly easy to make friends.
I’ve been asked out by three men since I arrived in Paris.
First, there was Pierre, a buyer for Laredo. He was a few years older than me and very handsome by most standards, but unfortunately, most standards didn’t work for me.
I found his chiseled jaw, ocean-blue eyes, and French accent to be subpar compared to my ex-fake boyfriend.
Apparently, I preferred small-town alpha cowboys now.
Then we had Jacque. He was the guy in my building who lived one floor down from me, and he liked to check his mail on the way back from his morning workout. I’ve never seen him in anything other than a pair of gray low-slung joggers with his chiseled chest glistening. He had long, wavy hair that was effortlessly sexy and had the confidence of a man who left women heartbroken in his wake.
Again. He did nothing for me. And it wasn’t for lack of effort. I’ve been here for over a month, and he’s asked me out no less than a dozen times.
I found creative ways to turn him down each time, and I felt absolutely nothing when I did.
My last offer had come from a man named Charles, who owned the deli on the corner. He was seventy-two years old and a lifelong bachelor who smelled like salami and cheese, but he claimed he’d be willing to change his ways for me. I told him I was focused on my career and sadly still hung up on a man back home.
Rosewood River.
He said he understood before handing me the Croque Monsieur that I ordered.
My phone rang, and I was thrilled to see Henley’s name light up the screen.
With the time change, we hadn’t been able to talk as often as we were used to, which meant we now only spoke once a day instead of many times throughout the day.
“Bonjour, Lulubelle,” she sang from the other end of the phone, and I groaned in irritation.
“If I had a nickel for everyone who calls me from the States and says Bonjour, I’d be a very wealthy woman,” I grumped.
“You already are a wealthy woman, so you’d be a wealthy woman with an extra quarter?” she chuckled.
“Jared is using some French language app and thinks he’s fluent now. He only wants to speak French to me on the phone. The calls take twice as long because I have no idea what the hell he’s trying to say.”
“I see you’re still a ray of sunshine.”
“I’ve just been busy with work.” I sighed. I’ve been in a foul mood for a few weeks now. “I mean, I love living here. It’s the dream, right? I’ve just been in a bad mood since I got here.”
She chuckled. “I was just there a few days ago, and I have to say, your moodiness seems to bode well for you in Paris. If someone gave you a cigarette, you’d look like you’ve lived there your whole life.”
“I miss you,” I said, reaching for my wine glass as I scanned the people walking by. “I loved having you here.”
“Yeah, me, too. So what happened with the half-naked mailroom guy? Has he asked you out again?”
“Yes. This morning. I think the fact that I’m rejecting him is making him like me more. But he smells like patchouli oil and lemons, and the combination is offensive.”
“You’ve always got the butcher, and you said he smells like salami and cheese.”
I laughed for the first time since she left. Work was kicking my ass, and I was putting in long hours. I didn’t even want to have a day off because it would be too much time to think.
To think about what I was missing.
“How’s everyone doing there? Did you dominate at pickleball this week?” I asked, chewing on my thumbnail as I tried to figure out how to ask about Rafe without making it obvious.
“We won by the skin of our teeth because Rafe forfeited his game when he stormed off the court because Bridger’s paddle hit him in the wrist and broke the bracelet you made him and possibly fractured his wrist.”
“What? He broke his wrist?”
“We don’t know. He refuses to go to the doctor because he’s going to Magnolia Falls tomorrow for Beefcake’s baseball game, and he said he’d have Emerson check it. Have you talked to him?”
“I mean, we send the occasional text messages. We just check in. We haven’t spoken on the phone because what’s the point? We both know we need to move on,” I said, and my chest squeezed as the words left my mouth.
“You guys are both so stubborn. He’s been a mopey bastard since you left, and you don’t seem any better. So just pick up the damn phone.”
“And say what? Hey, Rafael, I live in Paris, and this is the best thing I’ve ever done for my business. And you live on the other side of the world in Rosewood River, which is your favorite place to be. But maybe we can spend hours on the phone until you meet some local girl who can give you what you deserve.”
“Wow. Okay, then. Sorry for the suggestion. I’m sure you’ll both eventually stop moping and move on,” she said.
“What does that mean? Is that your way of telling me that he’s dating? Is it serious? I hope he’s not with that biotch, Jolie. That will infuriate me,” I hissed, and the dude sitting at the table beside me glared at me for ruining his romantic moment with his lover, and I scowled at him until he looked away.
“I don’t think he’s dating. Easton hasn’t said a word other than telling me that Rafe is in a bad mood. He skipped Sunday dinner, which had everyone worried.”
“Maybe he was on a date,” I said because I couldn’t not think about it.
Henley laughed. “You’re insane. I think he just sits home alone, and we both know he’s a social guy, so that’s not really his style. But I think he’s moping, too.”
“Will you just find out how his wrist is and let me know please?”
“Yes, of course. I’ve got to get back to work. Love you big, Lu.”
“Love you bigger.”
The next few days were spent working long hours. We’d selected the fall line for the next season, and our first Paris launch would be in two weeks. We just wrapped up our meeting, so now we’d get to work on placing the orders.
I sat in my office, taking a moment to process the silver lining of my choice to move here.
Things were happening professionally. Everything I’d hoped for was underway.
But it didn’t feel the way that I thought it would.
“You are a natural at this, you know that, right?” Camille asked as she stood in my doorway.
She was the head of marketing at Laredo and had helped me with a marketing plan for MSL. She and my mother had grown up together, so I’ve known her my entire life.
“Thank you. I’m learning a lot as I go.”
“Life lessons are the best.” She made her way inside my office and took the seat across from me. “Your mother is worried about you.”
I sighed. “I think she and Dad might just like being worried about me. Because I’ve done everything that they wanted me to do.”
I broke all ties to my loser ex, who had finally stopped trying to contact me, nor had he spoken about me in the press. I moved to Paris to make a name for myself and my company.
And they were still worried.
“Oh, darling, don’t think for a moment that just because they’re worried about you means they aren’t proud of you. I speak to your mother daily, and you are her absolute joy.” She leaned forward and used a hand to cover one side of her mouth. “I actually think she’s a little jealous.”
“Of what?” I said with a laugh.
“You have built your company from the ground up. Your mom never had that luxury. She was handed Laredo, and she never had a lot of options outside of taking over the family business,” Camille said.
I never thought about that. I didn’t want to take over the family business when I first graduated. I wanted to create something on my own. My mother never had a choice because her father got sick shortly after she finished university.
“Well, she’s grown that business so much, along with Dad’s help, too.”
“Yep. I don’t think she’d have been able to devote her life to something she wasn’t as passionate about if she hadn’t done it with your father.”
“What do you mean?”
“Darling, life isn’t about putting all your eggs in one Chanel bag,” she chuckled. “It’s about collecting lots of eggs so your life is balanced.”
“I feel like I was a little lost right out of school and focused on the wrong things. I’ve really worked hard to find my niche, my calling, and prove that I could do something with it. But now I feel like I could easily drown in this. There aren’t enough hours in the day, so I could just spend my life building my company, you know?”
“Balance is the great mystery of life. If you look at the people who spend their entire lives in an office, dedicating themselves to growing their career, you’ll find they don’t live very long. Because when they can’t keep working those hours, they just wake up and find themselves all alone.”
This is quite possibly the worst pep talk I’ve ever received, if that’s what she’s here for.
“Great. So now I’m going to die alone if I don’t go on a date soon,” I huffed.
She chuckled as she sat in the pink velvet chair across from me, wearing her chic black pantsuit.
“That’s not what I’m saying.” She came around my desk, taking my hands in hers. “You’re young, Lulubelle. Your life is not going to give you everything you want if you spend all your time in this office. Your success won’t mean as much if you don’t have anyone to share it with. So now that you’ve figured out the business side of things, it’s time to figure out who you want to share these moments with.” She smiled down at me. “You’re in the city of love, my darling. I have no doubt that you’ll find it.”
What if I already found it but left it behind to chase my dreams?
She kissed me on the forehead and walked toward the door.
“Camille,” I called out just as she was about to leave.
“Yes, darling?”
“How did you know Louie was the one?” I asked. They’ve been married as long as my parents had. I’d always loved him because he was an artist, a painter. He was passionate and funny and full of life. He balanced out her serious demeanor, and they always seemed so crazy about one another every time I saw them.
Her red lips turned up in the corners. “I dated quite a few men before I met Louie when I first graduated university. Did you know I even dated a prince?”
“What? No. I never knew that.”
“Yes. He wanted to marry me when we were still in school, but it never felt right.” She shook her head and smiled. “I called it off, and then I met Louie, and everything was different. I just knew he was the one for me.”
“How did you know?” I asked because I genuinely wanted to know.
“I knew pretty quickly, and there were a few signs that sealed the deal,” she said, one brow arched as she crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze locked with mine. “First, he was the only man I ever missed when I wasn’t with him. I’d think about him all the time when he wasn’t around or if one of us was traveling.”
“That’s sweet.” I gulped down the lump in my throat.
“Secondly, the man could make me laugh. No matter what was going on, he knew just what to say to get me going. He balanced me in a way I’d never felt before. And the older you get, the more you realize how important it is to laugh as often as possible. It keeps you young.” She sighed before continuing. “And last, but certainly not least. He just got me, you know? When other people thought I was being outrageous or dramatic or I worked too much—whatever the hell they thought—he was the one person who understood me from the very beginning. And when you find someone who gets you, someone you connect with, you realize what a rarity it is, and you hold on tight.”
“What if the timing isn’t right?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper.
“Oh, darling, you worry too much. When you find it, you won’t let anything get in the way.”
But here we were.
Living on opposite sides of the world from one another.
And I hadn’t even had the courage to tell him how I felt.