Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
NOAH
A wall has come up between us again, and I’m not sure I can dismantle it. All I know is that I don’t want Victoria to slip out of my life again. Whenever she talks about that job in Florida, her voice sounds strangled and this tiny muscle below her eye twitches and I know precisely what that means: she’s frustrated and feeling trapped.
She had that same look when she burst onto the balcony the night we met. She was running away then, too—and truthfully, so was I. Something in me recognized her as a kindred spirit and together we learned how to lean on each other. I’d never trusted anyone enough to lay my vulnerable parts bare, but Victoria was compassionate and easy to trust.
And she can do anything she wants when she sets her mind on it.
Now, for example, she’s across the room mirroring Layla and Priya’s dance moves. We’re four songs into my space-themed playlist and she and Sophie jumped right in to break the ice. They’re grooving under the glittering star lights like this is the best night ever, and it’s about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
There are a dozen reasons I don’t want Vic to take this new job, why it’s so obvious that she shouldn’t take it, but it’s not my decision to make. I need to give her space, but distance is the last thing I want between us.
It feels like she’s slipping away. Again.
By the end of this week I’m going to be a babbling wreck of a man. And that thought triggers one that squeezes my heart like a fist: what if, when camp is over, I never see her again?
“Nice costume,” Victoria says, coming to stand beside me. “A classic.” She studies my suit, a slim-cut black one that’s a little too hipster for me but is perfect for a Man in Black.
I squeeze the cartoonish green rubber alien that’s riding in my breast pocket in place of a pocket square. It squeaks as its eyes bulge, earning a laugh from Victoria. Her smile yanks me back in time to that Halloween party where we first met. Two new college students fumbling through their first autumn in a new city, looking for that little niche where they belonged. We’d always fit well together, right from that first night. From that moment forward, she’d always had my back and I’d had hers—and I forgot what it was to be lonely.
Ever since our talk yesterday, she’s been pulling away from me. And that loneliness is creeping up behind me, stalking me like a storm cloud.
“You’re exceptionally sparkly,” I tell her. I shove my black Ray-Bans up into my hair and take in the details: a silver jumpsuit that hugs her curves and shines like a disco ball, a hot pink wig, big heart-shaped sunglasses, purple lipstick that is way more appealing than it should be. And a headband with what looks like a stylized antenna—she’s like a space invader from a 1950s flick.
“Satellite of love,” she deadpans, those purple lips pursed in a smirk.
“Deep cut,” I tell her. “Nicely done.”
“Sophie helped me. I didn’t realize I’d need a space-themed outfit for the dance. She said she always brings a couple because she can’t decide until the day of.”
“Roxy left that part out of your contract, huh?”
She shrugs. “I might have skipped over some parts of that packet she sent me. It’s okay, though. I like a challenge. And a chance to wear a hot pink wig.”
All around us, the kids are chattering and wiggling around in some delightfully wacky outfits of their own. The dance is a tradition here, so the kids bring costumes they make at home. Some are simple, like little green aliens and astronauts—and some are so elaborate it blows my mind. Ethan’s dressed as a rocket ship, complete with a cone-shaped hat and streamer-like flames, and Layla’s wearing a long dress that’s painted like the Milky Way.
“I can’t believe we pulled this off,” Victoria says. “This looks even more amazing than I thought it would. The movies were such a great idea.”
Behind her, there’s a projector showing a reel Sophie put together of clips from a bunch of space-themed movies. There’s a little bit of everything, from Guardians of the Galaxy to Mars Attacks! to 2001: A Space Odyssey . The clips play silently while my special dance playlist booms through the speakers in the corners of the room. This lobby is now a wonderland filled with twinkling lights, paper star lanterns, and sugar-fueled tweens. A small lounge just around the corner is set up as a chill-out room where the kids can go if they need a quiet space, with dim lights and no music.
So far, the kids are having a blast.
“Have you seen Roxy lately?” I ask Victoria.
She shakes her head, and in that instant I see the tension settle back into her shoulders. “Not since dinner,” she says. “She’s coming soon, though. Apparently, Mira’s super excited about the dance.”
“Come on guys,” Sophie says from behind us. She grabs each of our hands and pulls us to the center of the room where the kids are dancing. “Let’s see your moves!”
The kids cheer as we come closer, pulling us into their circle. David Bowie’s “Star Man” is blaring through the speakers, and Victoria laughs as Sophie takes her hand and twirls her around. Something tugs at my heart, and I realize that I desperately want to be the one holding Victoria’s hand and spinning her across the floor, under these brilliant twinkling star lights.
I’ve fallen so hard for her, all over again.
She looks so happy here, doing these goofy dance moves with the kids. I don’t have to look hard to see the moments when she gets out of her own head and lets herself relax and just be . I want her to have that feeling all the time—to know that she’s perfect just as she is.
Song after song goes by, and we stay on the dance floor. The kids are all wiggling around like little excited electrons and soon Victoria and I get shoved right against each other. When we collide, her hands land on my chest, right below my collarbones. My hands go instinctively to her waist to steady her, and her eyes widen. An electric current zips along my skin and my mouth instantly goes dry.
She drops her hands as if she’s touched a hot stovetop. I know she’s worried about what Roxy and the other staff might see, and I hate that we have to keep this wall between us. I just want to hold her close and feel the softness of her skin and smell the sweet citrus scent of her.
We’re jostled again, and I’m regretting putting the frenetic “Intergalactic” on the playlist, but also I’m not. Because I’ll happily let Victoria collide into me any day of the week, as often as she likes.
When she spins back my way, I say, “I’m going to check the other room and make the rounds.”
“Oh!” she sputters. “I should?—”
“Stay,” I tell her. “They love having you out here with them.”
She takes another look around just as Layla and Priya appear, each grabbing one of her hands and pulling her into their circle. Victoria smiles, and already I miss having that particular smile directed at me.
Slipping out of the mass of dancing kiddos, I head across the room to the snack table and grab a cup of water before ducking into the chill-out room. A few kids were resting in here earlier, but now they’re back in the main room watching the movie clips and occasionally being pulled into dances. Out on the adjoining deck, two boys are pointing up at the sky, discussing the planetary alignment they learned about this week.
When I head back inside, Roxy walks up beside me.
“This is amazing,” she says. “Y’all have outdone yourselves.”
“We might have gone a little overboard with the decorations,” I reply. “But the kids dig it.”
She nods, watching the kids shift into another line dance. They’re mostly in sync, and it’s completely adorable. Victoria and Sophie are right there with them, Sophie leading the moves and Victoria laughing as she tries to keep up.
“How’s the session going?” Roxy asks me.
“Great,” I say, “Maybe the best one ever.” It’s hard not to stare at Vic as she wiggles her hips and waves her arms around her head. She’s the master of goofy dancing, and the kids love it.
I love it, too.
“How’s Victoria doing?” she asks. “She getting along okay?”
“We’re lucky to have her. The kids love her.” You love her , that voice inside me says. You always have.
Roxy nods, as if waiting for more.
“I mean, she had an adjustment period, like anyone would. But Vic’s great at this. She’s got this way of pulling everyone together without putting any pressure on them, you know? She doesn’t want anyone to feel left out, but she doesn’t want to make it a big deal, either.”
“She’s good at that.”
Victoria laughs, now apparently in a dance-off with Layla, whose sparkly galaxy dress is rippling around her as the kids clap and cheer.
“Making people feel like they belong is one of her superpowers,” I say. “And she doesn’t even realize it.”
Roxy gives me a tiny smile—one that says she sees everything.
As if summoned, Victoria comes over to us, pushing her hair behind her ears. She’s practically glowing, with her cheeks flushed and her pink hair wild from all the movement and the humidity. She grins and that tug is back, low in my belly and impossible to ignore.
“Y’all have a sneaky vibe,” she says, a bit out of breath. “What are you whispering about over here?”
“Your killer dance moves,” Roxy says with a wink.
Victoria gives her a teasing eye-roll. “Yeah, okay. I’m a little out of practice.” She does the cutest little shimmy and says, “The tweens are teaching me to be cool again. What else you got?”
“How you put everyone at ease,” I say. “Make them feel seen. Make them feel like they belong.”
She turns to me then, her lips parted in surprise.
“Noah was just telling me what a huge asset you’ve been,” Roxy tells her. “I mean, obviously, I knew that would be the case, but I like to be proven right. And then hear about it in great detail.”
“These kids would be missing out if she weren’t here,” I say, and my chest tightens at the thought. Because I’d be missing out even more. “She makes everyone here feel like they matter.”
Victoria blinks at me, her eyes glassy. A blush creeps into her cheeks and she turns to Roxy. “It’s been really fun. These kids have taught me a few things, too.”
“None of that is one bit surprising,” Roxy says. “I knew you’d be a good fit here.” She glances toward the main entrance and waves to Julie and Mira, who are smiling as they survey the room. “I should get back to these ladies, but we’ll catch up later, okay?” She squeezes Vic’s arm and heads over toward the others.
When I turn back to Victoria, she gives me a tiny smile. “I can’t believe you said that about me.”
I shrug. “It’s true. You make every place brighter just by being in it. I’ll tell you every day if that’s what it takes for you to believe it.”
Her lips part and that adorable furrow is back in her brow. She looks like she might cry, and it takes everything in me not to pull her into a hug. “Come on,” I tell her, giving her arm a nudge. “Next dance is the electric slide.”
She follows me back to where the kids are gathered and says, “Okay, Valentine. Time to shake those tail feathers.” A sweet smile pulls at her lips and I want to etch this moment into my memory: Victoria, under this blanket of colored stars, looking at me like I’m the best thing that ever happened to her.
You and me together in this crazy little world , she used to say. And I want to badly for that to be true again.