Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
NOAH
I ran three miles this morning to get Victoria off my mind—specifically, the look of panic on her face last night when I told her how I felt about her.
It didn’t work.
Now my muscles are screaming, I’m a sweaty mess, and my brain still helpfully reminds me approximately every three minutes that Vic is about to leave me.
Again. This time for a job she told me doesn’t even make her happy.
It was impossible to sleep last night, because I had about a million things I wanted to say to her—but I didn’t know how to say them without sounding completely selfish. She’d told me she wanted to give this a try, to go on a real date together after camp was over. And the idea that she wanted to give us another chance had me feeling hopeful for the first time in ages. I thought she felt the same way I did, but now she’s throwing all of that away.
This hurts even more than it did the last time she left.
I need a shower before today’s morning meeting with Roxy, but I need coffee more. Caffeine soothes me, and right now I feel like crawling out of my skin. It’s ten minutes before seven and the kitchen staff’s busy getting ready for breakfast. Taylor Swift’s blasting from a radio somewhere behind the kitchen doors and at least three people are singing along with her, woefully off-key but with admirable enthusiasm. When I slip over to the coffee station by the bank of windows and fill my mug, Victoria steps up next to me.
“Hi,” she says. “You get some rest?” She’s wearing a green tank top that draws my eye straight to her tanned sculpted shoulders and shorts that make her legs look a mile long. Her hair’s curlier, a little wild from the humidity, and all I can think is how soft it would feel against my chest.
“Not much,” I admit.
“Me either,” she says, taking in my sweaty running clothes with a flick of her gaze—but her eyes take a leisurely path back up to mine. “I need about a gallon of coffee before this day starts.”
“Same,” I tell her. “Departure day is always hectic. I need all the help I can get.”
She bites her lip, and for a moment I think she might say more about last night, about her plans. I want her to tell me that she’d rather explore what’s happening between us than settle for a job that sounds great on paper but takes the sparkle out of her eyes. I want her to tell me that she feels the same way I do, that she couldn’t sleep because she was thinking about us, and picturing all the things we can do together as soon as we’re off this mountain and not in charge of a group of tweens anymore.
I’ve given a lot of thought to that last one.
Instead, she takes a sip of coffee and flinches. “Ugh. Are we certain this isn’t siphoned straight from the pond out there?”
“As long as there’s caffeine, I don’t care much where it came from.”
She smirks at that, because she knows full well I’m picky about my coffee and brought a French press here with me. This was just the faster option.
She pours two more coffees into paper cups and hands one to me. “Roxy called a little while ago to say she and Sophie were ten minutes away and desperate for coffee that wasn’t made in a hospital.”
As I follow her outside, a buzzing fills the air between us. She shoves the extra coffee cup into the crook of her arm and pulls her phone from her pocket. Frowning, she stares at the screen, at the incoming call from Diana .
Diana the real estate agent, with the career-changing job offer.
“You need to take that?” I ask.
She shakes her head as we approach the entrance to the main building, where Sophie and Roxy are waiting.
“I’ll call her back,” she says, silencing the call. That furrow is back in her brow as she shoves the phone back into her pocket.
“Look,” I tell her. “I know it’s not my decision and I don’t get a say, but I hate to see you settle when I know that you could soar.”
Victoria stares at me for what feels like a solid minute, and then her lip trembles.
“I have plenty of other selfish reasons why I think you shouldn’t go to Florida,” I go on. “But that’s the biggest one.” I sip my coffee, hoping that might force down the giant lump in my throat, but it doesn’t. This feels like one of those now-or-never moments and I don’t want to be anywhere close to never with Victoria.
I don’t know why it’s always been so hard to be truthful about the scope of my feelings for her—maybe because I was just afraid that the truth might reveal a gap too wide for us to navigate. I decide right then and there, lukewarm pond-water coffee in hand, that I’m done holding things back from her. Life’s too short, and I’m done keeping my feelings buried so deep. She deserves the truth, even when it comes out messy. After all, the best parts of life are messy sometimes—we have to take ourselves apart and put ourselves back together to fully experience this life and all the beauty and the challenge that comes with it. And there’s no one else I’d rather rearrange myself with than Victoria.
Probably, I shouldn’t spill my guts here, moments away from a briefing with our supervisor. But I can’t hold back anymore. I don’t want one more minute to go by where Vic doesn’t know how much she means to me.
“I really want us to go on that date,” I blurt. “Preferably not in Florida, but I’ve been hoarding frequent flyer miles and am overdue for an actual vacation. It’ll be hot as blazes and I swore I’d never set foot across the state line after that horrific freshman-year road trip that I’m still not going to tell you about, but if that’s where you’re going, then I’m in.” I pause and when her eyes flick to mine, I hold her gaze. “All in.”
“Noah,” she breathes. Her brow lifts as her mouth falls open and I can’t decide if this was a genius move or the most hopeless. All I know for sure is that I don’t want her to walk out of my life again—especially if it’s because she thinks I wouldn’t follow her.
“I know we can’t get into it here,” I say. “But I just want to make that one thing clear because I meant everything I said last night.” She’s so worried about doing what’s good and right and expected, and I can’t blame her for wanting to be professional. But I can’t tamp these feelings down anymore, either.
“I’m not sure I see a way that can work,” she says. “Even though I’d like it to.”
“It’s not like you’re going halfway around the world,” I tell her. But to be honest, even that wouldn’t be too far.
She sighs, planting her hands on her hips. “Long-distance is the worst. I wouldn’t ask you to?—”
“You don’t have to,” I tell her, stepping closer.
Her expression is hard to read, but I know she has plenty of thoughts about this—I just want her to share them with me. She opens her mouth to answer and the whole world stops as I hold my breath.
“Let’s talk later,” she says, nodding toward the conference room. “Roxy and Sophie are waiting.” She stalks toward the room without another word, and my chest tightens—just like it did on that beach a million years ago.
I can’t help feeling like she’s pulling away.
“All things considered,” Roxy says, “we were very fortunate.” She’s sitting at the head of the conference room table, wincing as she sips the cafeteria coffee. “Priya’s much better and in good spirits. Her parents weren’t happy to hear about the incident, but they’re grateful for everyone’s help.”
Across from me, Victoria bites her lip. Her hair’s pulled back in a short ponytail and her shoulders are so tense I could bounce quarters off them. When her eyes flick to mine, a tingle runs along my whole body, straight to my toes.
“And,” Roxy says, “I’d like to commend you all for stepping up the way that you did. Especially you, Victoria. Priya told me she’s terrified of needles.” Across from me, Sophie smiles and gives Vic’s arm a nudge.
“And I owe a big thank you to Sophie, for staying in the hospital with us all night and keeping Priya’s parents updated.”
“No problem at all,” Sophie says.
“Was it the cookies?” Victoria asks.
Roxy shakes her head. “Priya said one of the other girls, Jess, brought granola bars that her mom made. Jess didn’t realize they were made with peanut butter. Priya only had a small piece, but that was enough to cause a reaction.”
Victoria looks stunned. Roxy’s still talking logistics and damage control, but Vic looks like she’s barely listening, still processing the fact that this wasn’t her mistake.
“You all are doing a great job here,” Roxy says. “I’m so glad to have y’all as my team. If I’m being honest, I wish I could have you three at all of my summer camps.”
When Victoria finally glances my way, I give her a small reassuring smile that says, See? Told you. She responds with a one-shoulder shrug.
“I want to talk more about this later,” Roxy says, “but today’s going to be busy and Noah here needs to head out soon with our fliers.”
“So far all flights are still on time,” Sophie tells me, passing me a list of flight info for five kids.
“One more change of plan,” Roxy says. “Priya’s not flying home today. Instead, her aunt and uncle will drive up from Atlanta and pick her up from the hospital this afternoon. Layla’s also going to catch a ride with the aunt and uncle. She asked to stay with Priya, and the girls sorted this out and ran it by the parents, who gave us the okay.” She takes another gulp of coffee and checks the time on her phone. “Victoria, I need you to take Layla to the hospital and wait there with Priya so you can talk to her family when they arrive. It’s important that one of us is there with her today.”
“Of course,” Vic says, nodding.
“Sophie, you’ll still be here to meet parents who are driving in. Noah, this means that you’ll have an extra airport run for the later flights. I’d stay and help you, but I have to get Mira back to Charleston by one o’clock today.”
“No problem,” I tell her. Looks like that talk with Victoria will have to wait until this evening. It’s probably better that way, because Sophie will be the only other person here with us on the mountain. Staff always stays the night after the kids leave—and once the last kid gets on a plane and the last parent drives away, camp is officially over.
“Okay,” Roxy says, bringing her hands together. “Here’s to a smooth, uneventful departure day.” She raises her coffee cup in a toast, and we all do the same.
When Victoria catches my eye, her lip lifts in a hint of a smile. It’s one of her mysterious smiles that makes her look a little sad—and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s a kind of goodbye.