Chapter Forty-Five
Raevar
Solamente Tu – Pablo Alborán
Absently, I rub mychest, a weird tugging sensation making it almost itch. Peering back at Vex as we ride horseback to my abuelita’s, they press a palm against their own, mirroring mine. It must be the bond between us all.
“They’ll be okay,” Vex reassures, their horse trotting side by side with me now. “Send them reassurance through the bond... Comfort. We don’t want them to stress, and while I’d race back there if I thought it was life or death dangerous, I know it’s not.”
“How do you know?” I croak, feeling anxious.
“Because Dulce isn’t scared. She’s concerned and unsure.”
“Is that who we’re feeling?”
“We’re feeling Vera there too. She’s intense, like she needs to claim...” They trail off, running a hand through their hair. It’s so unlike them that I can’t look away. Out of the little time I’ve known them, they seem to keep their hair flawless and windswept. It’s beautiful and sexy wrapped in one. “Do Solerans have a specific predestination to claim mates?”
Their voice is thoughtful, bordering on admiration. “I think our Dulce is going to be learning soon enough.”
I want to smile, but my nerves are running rampant. After Vera and I shared our moment, I knew I’d need to speak with my abuelita. To learn how to foster the bond between Dulce and I, along with the one that tugs me toward Vera.
At first, I didn’t think it was possible to have more than a single mate. Especially with a lot of the Orukna civilization decimated by the sickness and not knowing a lot of what’s normal. However, now that I’ve tasted all three of them, I know they’re somehow all my mates.
In one way or another, we’re tied.
“Poppet?” Vex interrupts my thoughts, tapping my thigh. “What worries you?”
My body softens and my shoulders relax. It’s intense how easily they are able to read me and also offer comfort through our newfound bond.
“My abuelita is the only Orukna I know besides my siblings.”
Their eyes travel across my face, calculating, and when they pull the horse’s reins, I slow to a stop with them.
“Why are we stopping?”
“I think you need comfort and as much as offering you a touch here and there, or hand-holding while we ride side by side, I think cuddling you might be a better route.”
My heart hammers, the beating pulse making my palms melt. Vex isn’t holding back from their bond with me.
I figured their wants were whatever Dulce craved and not nurturing anything between us. They hop off their horse and trail over to two massive zuju trees. When they’re all situated at the base of it, they pat the ground beside them.
“Come on, poppet. I won’t bite,” they taunt, and almost as if remembering our last night together, they chuckle. “Unless you beg prettily, at least.”
“I don’t beg.”
They raise their eyebrows and let out a huff of laughter. “You begged me to let you come, or have you forgotten so soon?”
My face flames at their words. They’re right. I’d do anything they ask, and I’d do a really good job at it. I’m a good boy, after all.
Unable to contain the smile tilting my lips, I saunter over, and sit beside them. I may hover over them, but Vex has to be tall in their realm because I’m massive and they’re only a head below me.
They put their arms outward, gesturing me to their lap. It’s something that I haven’t done in ages.
“I have you,” they promise, reassuring me.
Growing up in a massive family with so much affection that besos y abrazos are customary and not awkward, it’s heartbreaking when it’s gone.
“That’s right,” they guide as I lower myself. Immediately, their fingers play at the band in my hair, removing it. The sound that escapes me as they pet my head and strum my skull has me nearly embarrassed. “Such a good boy, always listening.”
Letting out a sigh, I think of when affection was consistent. Every moment I hugged and kissed my parents and they always cuddled with me, no matter the occasion.
“My mamá and papá passed away when I was ten, devastating me and my two little sisters. Which was around the time when I met Vera.”
“You have sisters?” Their thoughtful question has warmth settling in my abdomen, comforting me.
Nodding, I add, “Aside from them, my abuelita is all who is left. They’re off-realm, exploring the world and being free.”
Vex doesn’t respond, they simply lean forward and kiss my temple, offering their silent understanding.
“When I met Vera, she was fourteen and newly crowned queen. Her parents passed away and her nan who hadn’t ruled Solera for thirty or so years had to go back to being queen until Vera came into rule. Offering myself to be anything she needed to make sure my family didn’t suffer resulted in her adopting me as her best friend.”
“Dottie,” Vex contentedly confirms. “She was a very good friend.”
Most times, I forget Vex is ancient. Life hasn’t jaded them, they’re so kind and considerate of everyone around them, and this is the first time they’ve mentioned anything to remind me.
“She was gentle yet forthright,” I begin, thinking of Theodora and her hugs. Whenever I came to the castle, she’d holler and ask where her hug was. Missing her became a song tuned to the symphony I’d already heard time and time again. Loss.
“She was one of a kind, and I’m very grateful I got to experience her light. It’s like the entire realm shone brighter because she willed it,” Vex compliments.
She did. I wanted to say, but held it in. Theodora was unlike any other Soleran who ruled. Even after she began aging, getting ready for her final resting place as part of nature, she held this place together. It’s why Vera struggles so much as queen. She compares and sees that pollination isn’t here anymore and blames herself.
Without pollination, we can’t grow or continue as a realm. We’ll wither and die eventually. There hasn’t been a single child born in ten summers. That’s unheard of.
“It wasn’t until I turned eighteen summers that I became a guard,” I continue, pushing the conversation away from Theodora as they draw swirling patterns across my cheeks and throat. Shivers rack my frame as a result, but I don’t want them to stop.
“Was it scary, giving up the chance at love?”
I close my eyes and think back to the day I signed the oath and received my pin. “No.” I don’t immediately elaborate. They don’t push, but instead wait for me.
Their patience is something I’d ought to take a page or two from. “You don’t have to tell me,” they offer, once again proving they want to get to know me on my terms.
“I want to, it’s just hard to explain.” They wait, tracing my scars across my head and the ones on my shoulders, skimming their fingers underneath my shirt. It’s not like life has been easy as a guard. While there aren’t wars here, there are beasts who need food and sustenance who come to our court attacking first and unable to communicate their needs.
Vex softly breaks the silence. “I want you to tell me because you trust me enough not to hurt you.” Their hand cups my jaw, barely nudging to force me to look their way. “One day, I want to fall for you and Vera, like I have for my little dove. That takes time and care, and one way to foster that is to learn each other.”
Words have significance, and theirs tears down the walls of my dam. “I couldn’t live without her.” The shaky breath that escapes me has me cuddling into their side, breathing in their smoky scent, needing this specific kind of comfort. “From the moment I met her, crying on a fallen boulder in the middle of the roadway, I knew she was mine. It didn’t make sense then, that she held this intrinsic part of me. I just knew that if we couldn’t be together, I’d spend the rest of my life at her side, watching over her, protecting her. And what kind of love would be better than the truest one?”
Their eyes glisten with emotion and understanding. Longingly and adoringly, they kiss my forehead and then both of my cheeks before their mouth meets mine. It’s a gentle brush of lips, chaste and soft, yet I fall into it.
“You’re such a beautiful creature,” they praise. “I didn’t realize I loved Dulce until we got together a few weeks ago. We’d been friends for about four years and only had been play partners for a year. It took her pushing me to realize that in order to be intimate with her in the first place meant the deep affection already existed within me. I didn’t know.”
Warmth spreads inside me, and I can’t tell if it’s them pushing the feeling they have for Dulce or me realizing the way she makes me feel is the same. There’s a possessiveness there, but what’s most prevalent is love.
“You love her.”
Vex softly smiles, their fangs pressing through. “More than I ever thought possible.”
“I think I love her too,” I admit, thinking of my little sweet and the way the sun shines just a little more when she’s around.
“Thank you for sharing yourself with me, poppet.”
And the look in their eyes when they say this... That is something I want to experience forevermore.
“Why do you call me that?”
A smirk tilts on their face, and happiness consumes me. “Because it means small child. And you, my giant love, are far from small.”
Love. They called me love.
I open my mouth to tease them back and they shut it before I get the chance. “Don’t ruin the moment with a size joke.”
Do they read minds or some shit?
“I wasn’t going to,” I lie, going for something even less believable. “Guess I should ask your favorite color.”