5. Ivy #2
His eyes dart away, and he shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with this—maybe as much as I am. He seems to be struggling to find what he wants to say.
I swallow through a suddenly dry throat, trying not to let myself feel bad for him when there are so many reasons for me to be angry. “You’ve already done that.”
Cam nods and reaches back to rub at his neck with his left hand, making his bicep flex. Marlo makes a strangled sound behind me, and I glare at her over my shoulder as she continues to ogle him.
Either he doesn’t hear her or chooses to ignore the completely inappropriate noise.
“I wanted to. Again .” His deep voice wavers slightly with the emphasis he places on the word. “I realize what sort of a position that put you in, and”—he shakes his head, letting his arm fall—“it wasn’t fair to you, so, I’m sorry.”
The sincerity in his tone melts away some of the unease I felt at his arrival, and some of that anger that heated me so thoroughly the other night.
But the way he’s watching me now, the way his gaze seems to rake over every inch of me and see every minute detail, sends another type of warmth spreading through me.
I have to look away—at anything but him.
Gladys still sits on the table, waiting to be repotted, and for the first time, I really see her—probably because I don’t want to examine my reaction to Cam or the tangle of emotions twisting inside my stomach right now.
And how ironic it is.
She’s survived almost fifteen years, but her world has been literally turned upside down—and dumped onto the old wooden table—like mine was. But she’ll have a nice, new home soon. Somewhere she can hopefully flourish and grow. As for me…I’m just adrift. Alone.
“There was another reason I came by…”
Cam’s admission draws my gaze back to his.
“What’s that?”
To rattle me?
To crush my already shattered heart into a fine powder by having to stare at your face again?
Because the more I look at him, the harder it becomes.
To see Drew but also not .
To see the differences yet so much the same.
I want him to be Drew so badly that I can’t even breathe.
Tears start to well in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I’ve already made a fool of myself in front of this man once. I don’t intend to do it again.
Camden isn’t Andrew.
Camden isn’t Andrew.
Cam isn’t Drew!
No matter how many times I need to repeat it, I’ll just keep telling myself that until my heart and mind get on board with it.
I bat my eyelashes a few times, trying to keep the tears from making an appearance while I wait for him to continue. “How did you even know how to find me?”
The corners of his lips twitch slightly, the same way they always did when Drew was fighting a grin. “Drew told me all about you.”
“What?” I tilt my head slightly. “I thought you two weren’t speaking.”
For the past four years, as far as I know, they hadn’t even said a word to each other.
Partially because Camden has been in London the entire time, but also because of whatever falling out they had that Drew never wanted to discuss with me.
Whatever drove them apart, it hurt him enough that going on with his life without his twin was a distinct choice he made, and I had no choice but to follow.
Cam shakes his head. “We weren’t. He told me before…”
Before the mystery falling out.
That he always brushed off, saying it was a “family thing.”
Isn’t that what I was supposed to be? His family?
For a man who was always so open, who wore his heart on his sleeve, the fact that he never wanted to talk about what drove a wedge between him and his twin brother always bothered me. Even more so now, when I realize Drew had other secrets.
Like why he was in that area of town that night…
“Anyway”—he runs his hand through his hair—“my mom told me that you have all of Drew’s things at your house. She said he came by her place and cleared out all of his stuff last year.”
I nod hesitantly, unsure where he’s going with this. “Yeah. So, your mom knows you’re in town now?”
His shoulders tense, and he shakes his head, his jaw hardening.
“No.” He averts his gaze. “She just knows I’m searching for a few things that I think might be in those boxes.
So, she gave me your number and said I should call and ask you, but I was hoping I could come by and look through them.
” His blue eyes cut back to mine. “Of course, I wouldn’t take anything without letting you know what it was first, but?—”
“No”—I hold up a hand—“I get it.”
No matter what might have happened between them, they’re brothers.
Things that were meaningful enough for Drew to keep are likely just as important to Cam.
I would never prevent him from taking something he wants, that holds good memories of his brother—even if their final years were spent in some sort of argument that broke their relationship so badly.
“There’s a lot of stuff. His whole closet in his office is full of boxes, but you’re welcome to come look through all of it, if you want to.”
A bit of the tension slips away from Cam’s body, and he inclines his head toward me, making that thick dark hair of his flop forward again. “Thanks. Hopefully, I can find what I’m looking for quickly and won’t be in your way too much.”
An embarrassing rush of air releases from my lungs.
That would be for the best—if he can find what he needs and be on his way. So we can avoid more of whatever this is.
“I’m off tomorrow. If you want to come by anytime, I’ll be home.”
One of his brows rises slowly, and he looks so much like Drew with that move that I have to fight back a sob. “You’re sure?”
I nod.
He offers a tight smile. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
The thunk of the chair hitting the ground again comes from behind me. “You’re not going to introduce me?”
I glance over my shoulder at Marlo, who still eyes Cam up like he’s something to eat—thoroughly.
“Sorry. Marlo, this is Drew’s brother, Camden.
Cam, this is my best friend, Marlo, who’s also my store manager and who should have returned to work”—I glance at my watch—“five minutes ago, instead of sitting here, eavesdropping.”
Marlo smirks. “But eavesdropping is one of my favorite pastimes. Along with other things.” She winks at Camden in a way that makes it very clear what she’s referring to. “It was nice to meet you.”
He gives her a half-smile that suggests he finds her as amusing as she finds herself. “You too.”
Sliding his jacket back over his shoulders, he turns and walks away through the greenhouse, weaving around several customers. Several of whom openly watch him with appreciation.
Marlo issues another little groan in her throat and smacks my arm. “ Giiirl !”
I turn back toward her, ignoring the instinct to glance over my shoulder to see if he’s gone yet. “What?”
“Camden is, woooooooo .” She starts fanning herself. It has nothing to do with the heat and humidity in the greenhouse, and everything to do with the man walking out of it.
It would be impossible not to notice how hot he is.
It’s why I was attracted to Drew in the first place.
The way he just fills up a space. Consuming the oxygen and somehow enthralling everyone he smiles at. From the moment he approached me at the hospital nurses’ station in his slick white doctor’s coat with a smooth smile, I was a goner.
And Camden, despite his rougher appearance and darker nature, has that same magnetism his brother did.
But Marlo is also right about something else.
Camden is dangerous.
Drew told me as much, many times, over the years, when I tried to broach the subject of their rocky relationship.
Which means, I need to be careful with him.