9. Ivy
IVY
FRIDAY NIGHT
M arlo comes in carrying the rest of the vases for the centerpieces and sets them on the corner table, examining the arrangements I’m putting together. “I still can’t believe she went back to roses.”
I release an annoyed sigh. “I know. They’re beautiful but…”
She tilts her head. “I really wish people would realize there are far more interesting and unique flowers to use for your wedding.”
Like peonies…
A sad smile pulls at my lips as I jab another red rose into the center of the white bundles, exactly as the bride requested.
Pretty. Elegant. But pretty much the same as ninety-nine percent of wedding arrangements I do these days.
“I agree, but it’s her day. If this is what’ll make her happy, then we have to do it. ”
Marlo sighs and comes over to start helping me. “I know.” She plasters on a saccharine-sweet smile. “This is me. Doing my job happily.”
I chuckle and jab another red rose in, adjusting the surrounding blooms to ensure it’s perfectly balanced.
She glances at me out of the corner of her eye. “What’s gotten into you today?”
Shit.
Here I thought I was doing a pretty decent job at hiding my frustration all day. Maybe the fact that I’ve been here since dawn and only ran out briefly to grab us dinner—and stop by my house for reasons —is finally getting to me. Or maybe it’s what I found when I stepped through that door.
Either way, I am not in the mood to have Marlo grill me about it tonight. Not when we still have hours of work to do and have to get up early tomorrow to deliver everything to the church and reception venue.
I do my best to appear relaxed as I offer a smile. “Nothing.”
“Really?” One of her blond brows rises. “Because you seem a little off; you have been all week.”
I press my lips together to keep from unloading on her because I know what she’s going to say, and I really don’t want to hear it. Again.
But the longer we work, only the sound of the music being piped over the speakers filling the silence between us since the shop is closed, the harder it becomes for me to keep it in.
Because it is bothering me.
Eating away at me like pests do these flowers.
A growing annoyance, and if I’m honest with myself, hurt, too.
It’s kept me awake at night all week, more than the fact that Drew’s side of the bed is empty. This simmering need to understand what happened between them. A hammering desire to understand Cam and maybe get some answers to the secrets both he and Drew were keeping.
It might give me some closure on this whole thing.
And I might not lie awake in bed at night, wondering why Drew lied. Why he died instead of staying there with me, where he should have been…
“Okay, fine.” An annoyed sigh slips from my mouth. “He was there again today.”
Marlo’s hand freezes, and she slowly sets down the bundle of roses and turns to face me. “That’s every day this week?”
I bite my lip and nod.
Every single day since he came to see me at the shop on Saturday.
Marlo’s eyes widen, the little flecks of gold in her hazel irises glittering under the lights with her curiosity and interest. “What did he leave you this time?”
My cheeks heat for some reason under her scrutiny, even though they shouldn’t.
He’s never left anything inappropriate.
Never overstayed his welcome or overstepped in any way.
The photos, trinkets, and stories he has left for me over this week have given me so much insight into him, Drew, and their relationship when they were growing up.
But they’ve also left so many more questions.
“More notes…and pad thai from Baan Thai.”
Her jaw drops. “He nailed it. Again! ”
I nod and wipe my hands on my apron as I go over to the corner of our workspace where the lockers are, pull out my purse, and dig around, then bring the stack over to show her. I don’t even know why I brought them with me to the shop tonight.
Maybe because I knew I’d eventually break down and talk to Marlo about it…
“Four days in a row and four of your favorite meals from your favorite restaurants…” She continues gaping. “Do you think it’s the twin-telepathy thing? Do you think he knew every time Drew ordered you dinner?”
I slap at her shoulder as I hand her the photos. “Stop it.”
Her brows rise incredulously. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I shake my head. “There’s no such thing as twin telepathy.”
“That’s not what I’ve been reading.”
I release an annoyed sigh. “Why have you been reading up on twin telepathy?”
She raises a shoulder and lets it fall nonchalantly, but I don’t miss the slight curve of her lips. “Call me curious.”
“Does your curiosity have anything to do with Cam showing back up here?”
“Hmm.” She shrugs again. “Maybe.”
“Don’t, Marlo.”
Her mouth falls open. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t involve yourself in anything having to do with me and him.”
“ Is there a ‘you and him?’”
Fuck.
I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head. “Jesus, that’s not what I meant.”
Marlo snorts. “Because if there was, that could get a little complicated .”
I growl low at her to shut her up, but when I open my eyes again, she’s just smirking at me.
She starts flipping through the photos, glancing at the back of each one to read the notes written on Post-its, humor playing on her lips. “He certainly has a way with words, doesn’t he?”
I can’t help my answering grin. “He does.”
It’s been one of the best parts about the notes he’s left me this week—the way even his short explanations of each photograph or keepsake so easily convey the emotions connected to it. As if I can see him sitting right next to me, telling me the story the same way he did the Rising Star Award.
And it makes it feel like Drew is there, too, enjoying reminiscing with his other half.
She clears her throat, examining one particular story on the back of a photo of one of the young boys—who I learned was Drew—sitting with his arms crossed over his chest, looking pissed.
“Ahem. The time Drew locked me in the basement for so long that I pissed my pants and my mom grounded him for a week , yet he was the one mad. ”
Her laughter fills the air as she examines the photo again. “Do you really think Drew did that to him?”
I shake my head. “I’m not sure. You know—” I clear my throat—“ knew Drew. I never saw him lose his temper or be mean to anyone, so it does sound a little out of character. But they’re brothers and couldn’t have been more than maybe eight when that photo was taken.
It wouldn’t surprise me if there were some pranks that went too far when tempers flared. ”
“But I thought they had a good relationship prior to whatever happened.”
I return to work as she keeps flipping through the pictures.
“They did, as far as I know. Drew only really talked about him for those first couple weeks we dated, and then it was like…” I shrug.
“I don’t know; he pretended he didn’t exist. The only time I ever heard his name was when we were with Nancy, and I could always tell Drew didn’t want to talk about Cam with her. ”
She sets the photos on the table, eyeing me. “Have you called her?”
Guilt licks fire across my chest, making me squirm. “No.”
Marlo’s eyes widen slightly. “So, she still doesn’t know Cam’s back?”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t think so. I feel like she would have called me and mentioned it if she did know.”
“Jesus.” She shakes her head, resting her palms flat against the table as she leans toward me slightly. “He’s been coming to your house every day, going through all these boxes of memories and things that were important to Drew, but he still hasn’t told his mother he’s here?”
I release a resigned sigh. “Apparently.”
And her shock over it matches mine.
After everything that’s happened, I would think Cam would want to be here for Nancy, yet he seemed so adamant about not wanting her to know he’s in Philly.
There has to be a reason.
But I haven’t been able to come up with a good one.
Just like I haven’t been able to come up with a reason Drew lied that night and left our bed to drive to an area of town he would normally never travel to…
Unless he was cheating.
My stomach turns even thinking about it, yet it’s the only thing that has made any sense. The sole explanation for why he was being so secretive.
That trait certainly seems to be embedded in the Usher brothers’ DNA.
“Are you going to tell her?”
I grab a bundle of white roses and begin arranging them in the next vase. “I’m considering it. I don’t like lying to her. And I’ve given him two weeks to do it…”
Marlo resumes working as well, snagging the red roses and handing a few to me to add to the arrangement. “How long are you going to give him?”
A very good question.
Even though I’m not technically lying to Nancy by not telling her, it certainly feels like that. And I’ve never liked having to lie to anyone about anything or been particularly good at it, either.
I shrug. “I’m not sure. Until I crack, I guess.”
Marlo snorts and shoves another group of flowers into a vase. “So not long, then?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on, Ivy. You live by your emotions, and that’s totally fine. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much. You’re not going to be able to keep that woman in the dark. You love her too much.”
A resigned sigh falls from my lips. “You’re right…”
It won’t be long until I crack and rat out Cam, but I’d feel a lot better about doing it if I knew why he doesn’t want her to know. If I understood even a fraction of what happened between him and Drew or why that prevented him from coming home when he died or being here now to support Nancy.
“I just wish I could ask him why…but by the time I get home every night, he’s gone.” I finger a thorn on the stem of one of the roses, gently pressing my fingertip into it. Not hard enough to draw blood. Just enough to start to feel the bite. “I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Why would he do that?”
I shrug, remembering the look in his eyes before he left that day. How quickly the entire mood in the office shifted because of what I asked him, because I pressed when maybe I shouldn’t have. “I don’t know. Things are just weird and tense between us. The situation is awkward, at best.”
“So…” She gives me a pointed look. “ Do something about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Go home early every day until you find him there and talk . Clear the air.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible.”
She rests her hip against the table. “Why not?”
“Because I think I overstepped.” I shake my head, shoving the rose in my hand into the vase with the rest far too aggressively. “I’ve been wanting answers for so long that I pushed him for them, and I shouldn’t have.”
“You have every right to want to know what went down between him and Drew.”
“Do I, though?”
Drew is gone.
Does it matter why he was fighting with his brother?
Does it matter why Cam wasn’t here for the funeral?
Does it matter why Cam doesn’t want Nancy to know he’s home?
Is any of it my business?
“I’m not an Usher, Marlo. I never?—”
A sob works its way up my throat and cuts off my ability to speak. She closes the distance between us and pulls me into her embrace. Her arms wrap around me, holding me tightly, and she shakes me gently.
“You are an Usher in every way that matters. Nancy told you she will always consider you a daughter and part of her family. That makes Cam your brother-in-law, I guess. And you should want to know something that affects that family.”
I sniffle, swiping away the tears that have started to fall. “You think so?”
She nods, a few strands of her blond hair falling from her ponytail. “Absolutely. What harm could it possibly cause to go talk to him? I feel like you two have just been dancing around each other for weeks and need to confront it head-on.”
Confront it head-on.
It sounds so easy when she says it like that. As if demanding he tell me what happened and asking if he knows why Drew was lying to me will somehow make him spill all the information he seems so intent on keeping close to the chest while we do this dance.
“We kind of have been.”
Marlo squeezes my shoulders, locking her gaze with mine. “So, stop dancing.”