23. Avery
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Avery
My fingers fly across the keyboard with my eagerness to finish the assignment.
I honestly have loved the work that has gone into getting my master’s degree. In many ways, it was my refuge these last two years, while I was putting so much into being there for Dad.
It’s the one thing I kept doing for me, per his insistence.
It’s wild that in a few weeks it will all be done. I will walk across that stage and receive my degree—a degree I wish more than anything my dad could see me hold in my hands.
If I’m really wishing for things, I would want both of my parents to be there.
Missing my mom and my dad are two very different things. I have spent years grieving the memories I could have had with my mom. I was so young when she passed. My own memories of her are few.
With my dad, it’s a completely different ball game. I have twenty-four years of a life spent with him at my side. Few thoughts of my childhood don’t involve him.
I miss him . I miss the way he would always buy white bread, even though he preferred wheat, because he knew it was my favorite.
I miss the way his fingers would idly tap against the arms of his old gray recliner while we watched a movie. I miss the way he’d hug me so close I’d never doubt for a second how loved I was.
Just when I think I’ve started to get a handle on the grief, it smacks me upside the head. I guess that’s how it works, though. It isn’t linear.
There aren’t even good days and bad days. There are good moments and tough moments. The love you feel for those you’ve lost is always present, though, through it all.
Easing my laptop closed, I stand up from the dining room table where I’ve been working for the last few hours. I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together.
Glancing in the living room where Lyla has been watching a movie, I see the credits rolling across the screen. I guess I have good timing.
Her head pops up over the couch.
“Good movie?” I ask.
“ Frozen is always good,” she says, carrying her snack wrappers to the trash can.
After depositing everything into the can, she walks directly toward me. Her small arms wrap around my waist and I lean down, hugging her back.
“What’s this for?” I ask.
“I can tell you needed a hug,” she says, her voice muffled from where her face is buried against me.
She is far too perceptive for her eight years of life. I try not to think about the reason behind that maturity. But she understands exactly what I’m feeling right now.
I squeeze her a little tighter for another minute, soaking in some of her light. Pulling back, I look down at her.
“You ready to decorate for your uncle’s birthday?”
She smiles wide. “Yeah, I’ll go grab all the decorations we hid in my room,” she says before heading upstairs.
Today is Will’s birthday. He insisted we not do anything major to celebrate, but Lyla insisted harder than we do.
You can guess who won that argument, even if Will isn’t aware of it. At least, not yet. He will be in a few hours when he comes home.
A shiver runs through me at the thought of Will. My mind flashes back to yesterday.
“Where’s Lyla?” I ask as Miles lays me down on his bed.
“Mom and Dad’s,” he says.
“Will?” I ask, not that I’d really care if he was here for whatever’s about to transpire.
“Work,” Owen says, crawling up onto the bed.
“Okay,” I mumble.
All our clothes are stripped off and tossed around the room. We are a tangle of limbs as we share fevered kisses and touches.
“You sure?” Miles asks as I hover above his cock that’s teasing at my entrance.
“Yes,” I say, taking his length inside me for the first time.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans. His fingers bite painfully into my hips, but I welcome the feeling. Knowing he’s as lost in the moment as I am makes me press down further until he’s fully seated inside of me.
Miles runs a hand over my cheek. “Fuck… you feel perfect.”
We’re sitting chest to chest. The intimacy of the moment makes the air feel thinner around us. For once, it has nothing to do with the altitude and everything to do with the man holding me like he’s afraid I’ll slip away.
I start to grind against him. Tingles build deep in my core with every swipe my clit makes against his pelvis.
Owen’s muscled chest presses against my back, and he peppers kisses across my neck and shoulder.
Reaching behind me, I grip his cock. The angle is a little awkward, but I want to feel him, too. I want him to fall apart like Miles and I are. Owen lets out a groan against my neck when I start stroking him between our bodies.
Glancing over Miles’s shoulder, I see Will standing in the bedroom doorway. His fists are tightly clenched at his sides, but he stays frozen in the same place.
His eyes are glued on me and me alone.
Seeing him here in this moment sends me closer to my building orgasm. I want him to come join us more than anything right now, but his rigid posture tells me that isn’t going to happen.
Still, the intensity in his gaze is enough to have me teetering on the edge.
“Come for us,” Owen whispers in my ear. I’m pretty sure he means all three of them, not just the two men on this bed with me.
My eyes stay locked on Will as I bite my bottom lip. The orgasm explodes through me. I moan loudly, seeing Will’s knuckles turn white from how hard he’s restraining himself.
I shamelessly grind against Miles, experiencing every shiver of pleasure. Miles holds me a little tighter as his body goes taut, and he comes. Moments later, Owen gently bites down on my neck as his release hits my back.
Distracted by the guys’ orgasms, I glance back to the doorway.
Will’s gone. A pang of disappointment hits me. More than ever, I can’t deny how much I want him.
He clearly wants me too, but I’m pretty sure he’s never going to let himself have me.
I sigh, leaning against the island. I love what I have with Owen and Miles. That has to be enough. It has to be.
Perfectly timed when I need the distraction, Lyla comes downstairs with the decorations in hand.