34. Avery
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Avery
My finger has been hovering over the button for a full three minutes now. I haven’t been able to bring myself to actually submit my final essay.
It just seems so monumental. Years and years of work culminating with this one final click of a button.
The political science master’s program was so popular they started additional cohorts of students that would finish and graduate after the summer semester. The only thing currently standing between me and walking across that stage to receive my diploma is turning in this essay.
“Aves,” Lyla says, leaning over my shoulder. “Why haven’t you sent it in yet?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
“Do you need to fix anything?” she asks.
“No.”
“Do you need to add anything?”
“No.”
“It’s perfect?”
“As perfect as it can be, I think.”
“Then…” She leans over me, clicking the submit button herself. “Done.”
My head whips to the side. “Lyles… What did you just do?”
“You just said it was perfect. I just did the hard part for you,” she says, smiling at me as she takes a couple steps backward.
I love this girl.
“Thank you,” I tell her. I think I’m actually thanking her for more than just clicking that button.
I want to thank her for being my friend this summer and filling my days with more joy than I thought would be possible after losing my dad, but for now we’ll settle for this.
“You’re welcome,” she says with a quick nod of her head that makes her look far older than she is.
“Well… now that that’s done, do you want to go visit Sienna at the shelter?” I ask, closing my laptop. During the softball games, Sienna offered for us to stop by the shelter at anytime, so Lyla could come see the animals.
Sienna had leaned in a little closer and whispered that she and I could have a little more girl time then, too.
I hadn’t really planned on making friends here in Aspen Springs with my stay here coming to an end soon, but talking with Hadley and Sienna was just… easy. They made me feel like we’d already been friends for years.
“Yes, I want to see all the cute dogs and cats,” she says.
I can already see her begging her uncles for a pet after this little outing. I chuckle to myself as I put on my Converse and tie them as I lean against the wall.
Miles would one hundred percent be on board with getting a pet. I don’t think he’d care what kind. Owen would be swayed eventually, especially if he knew it was what Lyla really wanted. Will would try to be the reasonable one, but in the end, he’d give in, too.
They love their niece so damn much, and they’d all do absolutely anything to show her that love every single day of her life.
As we load into my car, it hits me how well I know this family. And all the things I don’t know yet, I’m desperate to discover. I let my eyes fall closed, waiting for Lyla to buckle herself in the back seat.
An ache permeates my insides because I know my time being immersed in this family is about to end. I fight the urge to bang my head against the steering wheel and choose instead to enjoy this time with my favorite kid in the whole world.
“You ready back there?” I ask, peeking at Lyla through the rearview mirror.
“Hell yeah,” she says and her face instantly pales. “I mean… heck yeah.”
I can’t help my snort of laughter.
“Don’t tell them, especially Will.” Her eyes are wide.
“I’ll let it slide this one time,” I tell her. “Just don’t say it again.” I’m still laughing quietly as I back out of the driveway.
She dramatically wipes her hand across her brow. “I knew you were cool. Even that first day, I knew it.”
A warmth spreads through my heart. Having her in my corner means more than she’ll ever know.
“So, how long have you been sleeping with Will?” Sienna asks.
I choke, nearly sending my sip of Diet Coke out my nose. What the fuck?
“Umm… what?” I ask, still trying to get my breathing under control.
She laughs, running her hand through her wavy red hair. “I didn’t have confirmation before, but I definitely do now.”
“How do you know?” I ask, genuinely curious. Do other people in town know? Would I even care if they did?
No. I really wouldn’t. The answer comes to me quickly, but it’s true. I wouldn’t care if everyone on the planet knew I was in a relationship with them.
I lean my hip against the railing, watching Lyla run around with a group of dogs in the fenced area behind the shelter.
“The way you looked at each other right before he walked toward the dugout,” she says with a slight smirk.
“You figured that out from a look alone?”
“Mostly… yes,” she says with a shrug. “There’s an intensity in a look like that. The love shines right through.
“Love?” I stutter out, thankful I hadn’t just taken a drink this time. “I’m not in love with them.”
The lie is bitter on my tongue.
I hadn’t let myself get close to this train of thought, but now that it’s here I can’t ignore it any longer. I am, though. I’m in love with all three of them.
The thought rings true in my heart, my brain, and my soul. I feel it through every part of myself.
Oblivious to the thoughts raging through my brain, Sienna’s mouth drops open in shock. “Them?” she asks. “Wait…”
Oh, fuck.
“It’s not just Will. You’re with all three of them,” she says, her eyes still wide and focused entirely on me.
I open my mouth to say something… anything. Nothing comes out.
“Hot damn, sister. Good for you, or maybe I should say good for them. You’re a catch and a half.”
A smile spreads across my face, even when I stay silent.
Damn. I love her.
She continues before I can get my brain to formulate words. I guess the realization that I’m in love with them is making my brain a little sluggish.
“Believe me, I’m not judging. I have three men of my own. Hell, I got pregnant before we were even in a real relationship. And my best friend is with three guys of her own.” Her lips tilt up in a big grin. “I guess I should just say welcome to the club.”
I laugh but it cuts off quickly. “It’s different for me, though.”
“Why?” she asks, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“Because I’m leaving. For you and Hadley, your men are your forever. For me, it’s just for now,” I say, feeling the defeat seeping into my veins.
“Is that what you want?” she asks. There’s no judgment in her eyes. She’s just curious.
“I have my internship that’s starting shorty after I graduate.”
She nods. I told her and Hadley all about my degree and the internship during the softball games. I feel like I pretty much shared my entire life story with them during that short time.
“Are you happy about the internship? Because every time you talk about it, you seem underwhelmed to say the least,” Sienna says.
I’ve thought about this a thousand times, but I’ve never mentioned it out loud to anyone.
“Not really. When I first started working toward my master’s degree, I thought this would be the direction I’d want to go for my dream job. It’s what I always told my dad I wanted.”
When I pause, she asks, “And now?”
I take a deep breath. “And now… I don’t know exactly what I want to do, but I know it isn’t that.”
Lyla slams into my side, laughing loudly. Her arms wrap around my waist. “I want a dog so bad,” she groans.
Saw that one coming a mile away.
“You’ll have to take that up with the three guys you live with,” I tell her, running my hand over the braids I put in her hair this morning.
A look of determination settles over her features as she rests her fists on her hips. “Will’s going to be the biggest problem.”
“True,” I say.
“I’ll come up with a plan,” she says, tapping her finger against her forehead. I don’t have any doubt that she will as she skips off to keep playing with the dogs.
When I look back at Sienna, her eyes are filled with so much understanding. “You love all of them. That little girl included.”
I just shrug, giving her a small smile of acknowledgment. I can’t say the words out loud when I’ve barely come to the realization myself.
They are words that will probably only ever exist in my head, because how could I say them aloud when the possibility of a future just doesn’t exist?
Right?
Right.
Leaving Lyla, Owen, Miles, and Will is going to mean leaving a piece of my heart here that I’m never going to get back, but they aren’t the only things I’m going to miss.
I’m going to miss this whole town. Aspen Springs has become a solace for me in a time I desperately needed it.
I’m going to miss all the people who have been so kind and welcoming. I’m going to miss the sound of the breeze rustling through the aspen leaves. I’m going to miss the peace this place has brought me.
I’m going to miss… all of it.