39. Owen
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Owen
My head feels heavy with exhaustion. I couldn’t fall asleep last night until Miles got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and I stole Avery away from Will.
He grumbled in his sleep but eventually let her go. With her wrapped in my arms, I was finally able to drift off to sleep for a few hours.
I feel her yawn against my chest before I peel my eyes open to peek down at her. She looks gorgeous.
Her hair looks just like it should after all three of us continuously ran our fingers through it for hours on end. Her face is free of any make-up, and I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.
I am so in love with her. It feels almost impossible to feel this much for one person. I love my siblings, my parents, and Lyla so much, but this is something entirely different.
She is the love of my life. I had an inkling the first time we met that I would never find anyone else who made me feel the way I did around her. Now, I know it without a shadow of a doubt.
She is my person. Unfortunately, I don’t get to keep her forever.
“Morning,” she whispers.
“Morning, angel,” I say, kissing her temple. I gently run my thumb over the slight puffiness under her eyes from crying last night.
It’s a slight balm to my soul, knowing this is killing her, too. It doesn’t take any of it away, though.
“Is everyone else still asleep?” she asks.
I peek over her shoulder. Will and Miles are still passed out. “Yeah,” I answer her.
“Do you want to run to the store with me?” she asks.
“Now?”
“I have to do it now…” The rest of the thought trails off, but we both know what she means. She has to do it now because she won’t be here this afternoon.
“Why are we going to the store this early in the morning?” I ask.
“I want to get some chalk for Lyla, for her wall,” she says.
Pain flares in my heart. I love how much she loves Lyla, but it breaks my heart to see that relationship end, too.
“Okay, let’s go,” I say, peeling the covers away from both of us. I groan quietly as I stand, getting a view of her naked body. “You need to get dressed before I decide to worship your body instead of taking you to the store.”
She takes my hand, letting me pull her to stand. “I don’t think my body could take any more.”
She’s probably right. There are no words to adequately describe what it was like to watch her come over and over and over again last night. She is a goddess existing among us mere mortals.
We both find our clothes and slide into them. I write a quick note, leaving it on the nightstand next to Will’s head.
At least he won’t freak out if he wakes up and we’re both gone. Knowing him, he’d probably think I left with her.
Not that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind many times over the last few weeks. I can’t, though. My family is here. Lyla is here. The store is here.
This is where my entire life is. It sucks, but it is what it is.
The drive passes in peaceful silence with only the radio quietly playing in the background. Inside the grocery store, she grabs a few different types of chalk, a dozen donuts, and a jug of chocolate milk.
Don’t fucking cry in the middle of the store. Don’t fucking cry.
On the way home, she buckles herself into the middle of the bench seat. Her head rests on my shoulder the entire drive as she hums along to the country songs trailing out from the speakers.
I put the milk in the fridge while she arranges the donuts and chalk on the counter. She grabs some of Lyla’s markers and construction paper from the living room to write her a note.
Lyles,
Thank you for letting me spend this summer with you. I have made so many memories that I’m never going to forget. You’ve become my best friend, and there will always be a spot in my heart just for you.
I got you some chalk, so you can start on those masterpieces. You better tell your uncles to send me some pictures because I’m sure they’re going to be amazing!
I also got you some donuts and chocolate milk (it’s in the fridge). Yes, you can eat as many donuts as you want. Just tell Will I said so. Sugar doesn’t count today.
I miss you already!
Love, Aves
I wasn’t going to read the letter, but then Avery started crying as she was writing. I wrapped my arms around her from behind, and my eyes couldn’t help but scan over what she was writing that was making her so emotional.
Now, I’m going to cry because holy fuck.
She’s so fucking perfect for me. For us. For our whole family.
I just can’t understand how she isn’t meant to be ours for good.
With the letter finished, she sneaks out to the guesthouse to change and grab the bag she already has packed and ready for the few days she’ll be in Georgia.
I walk upstairs to wake my brothers up and find them already getting dressed.
“She’s leaving already, isn’t she?” Miles asks, pulling his shirt over his head.
I nod. “She’s grabbing her bag from her place right now.”
Will sighs so loudly it conveys everything he isn’t saying.
A piece of me wants to wake Lyla up despite how we all decided to only make her face one goodbye when Avery leaves for good. I shake my head, knowing it’s still for the best.
We all trudge down the stairs like we’re heading toward our own death sentences. Through the front window, we can see Avery loading her small suitcase and backpack into the back of her car.
All of us forgo putting on any shoes, beelining in her direction.
“Hey,” she says, slamming the hatch closed. “I was just going to come say goodbye.”
She’s holding it together, but I can tell the emotion she’s trying to conceal will boil over any minute.
“Fuck, I guess this is really happening, huh?” she says, using the hair tie on her wrist to twist her hair up into a messy bun.
Miles is standing the closest to her, so he pulls her into his arms first. As soon as she presses her forehead against his chest, her tears start to fall.
He whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh, even if it’s not her usual laugh. He kisses her, then steps back. His hands are clenching and unclenching at his sides.
She steps over to Will, who immediately wraps his arms around her. “I don’t know what to say,” she mumbles, crying harder now.
“You don’t need to say anything,” he tells her. “I know.” He takes a jagged breath when she looks up at him with her big hazel eyes. “Be safe, okay, baby,” he tells her. The strain in his voice is painfully clear.
She nods as he does his best to wipe away her tears. He kisses both of her cheeks, then her lips.
Now she’s standing in front of me, and I don’t know what the fuck to do. How the fuck do I say goodbye to her?
I was a dumbass to let her walk away the last time. Now that I’m completely in love with her, how can I repeat the same pattern?
Because it’s what’s best for her. Because this is what she wants. Because this is what will make her happy.
She falls against my chest, her back heaving as she cries. I do my best to comfort her, but I don’t really think my hand sliding up and down her back is helping.
“This is so fucking hard,” she whimpers.
I try to blink back my tears. “Yeah, it is,” I tell her.
She tilts her head to the side. Her eyes lock on mine. Neither of us says anything, but it’s there. I know she’s in love with me as much as I am with her.
I slide my hands up until they’re on either side of her face. I press my lips to hers.
When she takes a deep breath and steps toward her car, I can physically feel my heart cracking in my chest. It’s only the love I have for her and the desire for what’s best for her that keeps me rooted in place as she slides into the driver’s seat.
Tears continue to stream down her face as she buckles her seatbelt and rolls down her window. She opens her mouth to say something but stops herself by biting her lip.
I’m pretty sure I know what she was about to say. It’s what all three of us are dying to tell her right now, too.
She takes several deep breaths before sliding the car into reverse and backing out toward the street. She blows us each a kiss before driving away.
We all stand there motionless until her car disappears. Even then, we stand there unable to accept the reality of what just happened.
Eventually, we make our way back into the house. None of us say a word because what is there to say when the love of all our lives just drove away?
She’ll be back to grab the rest of her stuff, but that’s it. She isn’t ours anymore. That brief fragment of time, as beautiful as it was, is done now.
Will leans over the counter, reading the letter Avery left for Lyla.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, gripping his hair so tightly I think he’s going to rip it out of his head. He starts pacing through the kitchen.
Miles makes his way over to read the letter. He leans over the counter, burying his face in his hands.
“How the hell do we do this?” I ask. “How do we just let her go?”
They both turn to look at me, neither of them saying anything.
“I’m in love with her,” I say. I’m sure they both already know, but I feel like it needs to be said out loud, even if it’s only for them to hear.
“I love her, too,” Miles says.
Will nods. “Me too.”
“I know taking this job is what she needs… what she wants,” I say.
Lyla’s voice startles the shit out of me. It isn’t like me to be so out of it that I’m not fully aware of where everyone is at all times.
“She doesn’t want to do the internship,” she says.
Wait… what?
“What do you mean?” Will asks.
“She said she didn’t know what she wanted to do anymore, but it wasn’t that job,” Lyla says.
“When did she say this?” Miles asks.
“When we went to the animal shelter. She told Sienna.”
I share a look with my brothers.
“Then why is she going?” I ask.
Lyla shrugs, walking toward the counter. “It used to be her dream job. I think she’s doing it for her dad, too. She found out she got the position right before he died. I think she doesn’t want to disappoint him.”
“She told you all of this?” Miles asks.
Lyla sighs, like she’s annoyed with all the questions. “Some of it, yeah, but I just pieced the rest together from things she told other people.”
“You need to stop being so nosy,” Will tells her.
She cocks her head to the side. “I don’t think you’re that upset, since I figured all of this out. You don’t want her to leave. Right?”
“Right,” Will says, tentatively.
“Well… now you know she doesn’t really want to leave either,” she says, hopping up onto one of the barstools.
Her eyes light up when she sees everything Avery left for her. She reads the letter to herself. I’m sure the part about Will is what makes her giggle.
There’s a sheen to her eyes when she folds it up, sliding it into her pocket.
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” I ask. “We could have stopped her from leaving.”
I’m not mad at Lyla. I’m more confused than anything. I know she doesn’t want Avery to leave either.
“None of you would have stopped her from going to her graduation,” she says, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.
True. We wouldn’t have. It’s leaving after that’s breaking all of our hearts.
“So, I figured this would be the perfect time to come up with a plan, since she’ll be gone for a few days” she says.
Damn. My niece really is an evil little genius. I can’t help but smile at her, despite her trickery.
She looks around at all three of us with her big blue eyes. “What are we going to do to get her to stay?”
Will runs his hand through his still-sleep-ruffled hair. “So, she doesn’t want to do that job anymore.” He pauses for a moment, thinking. “What does she want to do, then?”
A wide grin spreads across Miles’s face. “I think I know exactly what job would be perfect for her.”