Chapter 10 Cole
CHAPTER TEN
Cole
Riley is cuddled between my brothers in the same position they were in last night. There’s a whole half of the couch available, but they’re all sleeping on the floor.
It doesn’t make any sense to me, but whatever. It isn’t my back that will be hurting in the morning.
I thought the alcohol was going to help me fall asleep tonight, but here I am staring at the ceiling. Based on their breathing, the others fell asleep a while ago.
My mind isn’t settling on one particular thought, it’s just bouncing all over the place.
I had a pretty good buzz going earlier, but when Riley described her birthday we spent in the back of my truck, I sobered up quickly.
I had pushed back the memories of that night for a long time, not letting myself go there. With our eyes locked, it was like we relived it all in the same breath.
It’s ridiculous that I’m still this rattled by someone I dated for only a few months a long time ago.
I know the amount of time you’re with someone doesn’t matter, but the depth of your feelings. You can fall for someone in a week, a month, or a handful of years.
I had done my best to push her to the recesses of my mind, never showing anyone that I still thought about her from time to time.
It was more than I would ever admit to. My journal is the only place I’ve confessed how often she crosses my mind and all the questions I still have.
She’s here now, and it’s stirring up feelings I thought I dealt with. Now, I don’t know how to handle all of it. I don’t know how to cope with her infiltrating my life.
I let out a shaky breath, running my hand over my face. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep anytime soon.
Craning my neck, I glance at the fireplace. Since I’m not getting any rest, I might as well put a few more logs on the fire.
I crouch next to the fireplace for far longer than I need to, watching the flames lick at the new logs until they eventually catch. The simplicity of it is soothing.
Leaning the poker against the wall, I turn around. Wide green eyes are locked on me.
She’s lying on her back, propped up on her pillow. Both of my brothers are on their sides, curved around her, but they’re both sound asleep.
Neither of us moves. We just breathe together. Inhale. Exhale.
This goes on for so long that everything else around us starts to fade away. It’s just us here, trapped in this moment.
I want to open my mouth and tell her something or ask her one of the million questions I’ve thought of over the years, but I don’t. Not a single word is shared between us.
I feel like my eyes are saying a lot on their own. You hurt me. You broke my heart. I still think about you all the time. I wish things were different. I’m still so mad at you. I want to know why.
I have no idea if she can sense any of it, but I can’t bring myself to utter any of it out loud.
She slowly crawls out from beneath the blankets, careful not to wake Theo or Finn. She walks into the kitchen, gets a glass of water, then stands over the sink, gulping it down.
When she sets down the glass, I see a shiver roll through her whole body.
Instinct takes over before I’m even conscious of what I’m doing. I pad up the stairs, disappearing into my room. From my closet, I grab my warmest hoodie.
Fuck. It’s cold up here.
I quickly make my way back downstairs, wanting to get back where it’s at least somewhat warm. She’s still standing in the same spot. I expect her to protest, but when I hold the hoodie up, she lets me slide it on over her head.
I realize my mistake as soon as I step back, and I see her in the dark gray hoodie that’s way too big for her frame. I can’t help but remember a very different time when I gave her this very same hoodie to wear.
“Cole, I’m fine,” she says, laughing. She darts away from me across the grass.
“You’re going to get cold. Get your ass back here,” I growl, chasing after her.
She peeks over her shoulder, and a huge smile spreads across her face. So much of her wavy hair has fallen from her braid, whipping around her face.
She looks stunning. Not that it should surprise me. Riley has taken my breath away since the first time I laid eyes on her.
“It’s summer,” she says, spreading her arms wide.
“In the mountains,” I point out, closing the space between us. “And the sun’s going down.”
She shrieks when I wrap my arms around her, and we both go tumbling to the ground. She lands on my chest.
As soon as I catch my breath, I roll us, so I’m looming over her. With her pinned below me, I slide my hoodie over her head. She doesn’t make it easy, but eventually I get it all the way on.
I know she isn’t fighting me because she really doesn’t want to wear it. She likes giving me a hard time. It’s kind of the basis of our relationship. We enjoy giving each other shit.
I’ve never been in a relationship like this, but I think that’s a good thing. There’s just something about it that seems to work for us.
“Happy?” she asks, pulling her arms out of the too-long sleeves.
My eyes rake over her, draped in my clothes. I never really understood why guys found this so hot, but now I get it. Seeing her wearing something of mine makes a possessive edge inside of me flare to life.
“Very,” I say, smirking down at her.
“Are you getting hard right now?” She wiggles her hips against where I’m straddling her, seeming to test her theory. “Wow. You are.” She studies me quizzically. “Was it the chase? Do you have a primal kink?”
I think about it for a second. That was fun, but no. That isn’t what turned me on.
I shake my head.
“Hmm… Just from straddling me?”
“Partly.” Any red-blooded man who is attracted to women would be turned on if they were in this position with Riley. But the thought of any other man doing this with her makes a brief swell of rage move through me.
Her eyes light up. “It’s seeing me in your clothes then.”
“Bingo, sweetheart.”
“Such a caveman,” she says, gripping the front of my shirt and pulling me down until my lips crash against hers.
I take one last deep breath and let my gaze drop from hers. I have to swallow several times to get past the emotion swelling in my throat as I slowly walk back into the living room.
I settle back into my spot on the couch, this time facing away from her and everything else in the room. Just like last night, I lay here pretending to sleep, but my mind is whirling through nothing but thoughts of her.
Riley. The woman who has consumed a big part of my mind for eight years—and if I’m being honest, my heart, too.