Chapter 4
Holly
I greedily drag in the breath of cool air as I beeline for one of the small, empty tables with barstools around it.
I rest my face in my hands and try to pull myself together.
Normally, I can pull off the cool, sassy Holly everyone is used to getting, but tonight, I’m shook. I don’t know what to think.
Eight weeks of nothing since he pinned me up against him in that linen closet and took my breath away. Now he’s here.
“Girl, are you okay? You look frazzled,” Brynleigh asks as she reaches the table, Sydney shuffling not far behind her with a worried look.
“Yeah, I was just thrown for a loop. I wasn’t expecting to see him again.
I can typically play it cool, but I don’t know.
I mean, it was only a little makeout session in a freaking linen closet for fuck’s sake.
How the hell he managed to get under my skin from just that is beyond me. This isn’t like me.”
“You really liked him,” Sydney whispers softly.
“And he just disappeared,” I whisper back.
“I’m sorry we sprung it on you. We thought we were just reacquainting you guys, since he called the clinic looking for Colin so that he could find you. He’s clearly been thinking about you.”
“He waited eight weeks though…”
“You realize men have zero concept of time, and it was his last few weeks of his residency? That man was tired as fuck. I guarantee he thought about trying to find you or Colin at least a hundred times, then got side-swiped by the hospital,” Sydney explains.
She’s right. I know I showed up at a stressful time, and there’s likely more to the story. I should hear him out.
“Hear Dr. Sexy out, will you?” Brynleigh asks, echoing my thoughts.
“I really must have impeccable timing when it comes to walking up on conversations about me.”
I roll my eyes to the porch roof and will myself to be cool. Breathe.
“Ladies, can I have a minute with Holly?”
Sydney presses her lips together and pats me on the arm before walking away with Bryn.
The door swings closed, leaving us in deafening silence.
I look across the highway, taking in the waves and wishing they were a smidge closer to drown out the sound of my heart hammering.
Jaxon’s footsteps fill the space as he nears me.
I look over at him as he slides onto the stool beside mine.
Those green eyes are just as stunning as they were at the hospital all those weeks ago.
“I’m sorry.”
I continue the eye contact, not knowing what to say. Like, really? What is there to say? There wasn’t even a relationship. I have a feeling the hurt is more deeply rooted from my own issues and the aftermath of Michael. It’s the only thing I can think of.
“I wish I’d thought of Colin’s clinic sooner.
When it hit me this morning, I didn’t wait.
These past weeks have been grueling. I know it’s a crappy excuse, but I just want you to know that it wasn’t a lack of wanting to find you; I just had a lot on my plate.
For the first few weeks, my head wasn’t in a great spot to even start things.
That night, I had that emergency case that brought me to my knees, and…
” Jaxon trails off, looking out toward the shoreline and realizing he’s gotten a little more vulnerable with me than he’d intended.
He’s quiet for a moment before looking back at me.
“I’m sorry. I’ll find a way to make it up to you. ”
His sorry tugs at my heart, but I won’t believe it until I see it. Thanks for that, Michael. I know Jaxon probably doesn’t deserve what I’m about to say next, but my armor’s up, and I just don’t have it in me.
“No worries. It was just a linen closet hookup. That was my third one that month,” I say cooly, tapping his hand with mine as I rise and book it back inside.
His huff of surprise tells me he found it amusing, but it ventured on the side of only drawing him in more.
I blow out an exasperated breath with that thought. He’s not giving up just yet.
???
Jaxon
I huff to myself in amusement as I watch Holly walk away.
I know I hurt her by disappearing the way I did.
There’s no way that was just a ‘linen closet hookup’ for her, as much as it wasn’t for me.
The ‘third time that month’ comment has me chuckling inside.
That’s not her style either but nice try.
What we shared was completely beyond both of our norms, and the pull between us was too strong to fight.
It may have been a moment of insanity on both our parts, but I don’t regret a second of it.
I still want her as badly as I did the moment those golden brown eyes connected with mine in that hospital room.
She intrigues me. The soft side of her that blushes, combined with the wit and playfulness with her friends, had me on my toes.
Then the way she looked up at me in that linen closet had me wrapped around her finger.
Her sounds, her sighs, that dirty smirk that begged me to do something, anything, had me utterly and totally at her mercy, and she didn’t even know it.
I run my fingers through my hair, telling myself that anything worth it in life is likely earned through blood, sweat, and tears. I’ll have to fight to earn her trust back.
I don’t know who did a number on her, but I can bet there’s someone in her past that caused the wall she threw up a few minutes ago.
Up at the bar, I grab another beer for me and buy the girls another pitcher of margs.
When I get to the table, I pour Holly’s first, sliding it to her with a smile before pouring Brynleigh, Jane, and Ava another.
This seems to go over well with all of them.
By nine, Garrett is clearly itching to get Jane home.
“You still up for taking a look at my place, or would you rather pick a different day?” Trystan asks.
“Let’s do it.”
I manage to rise from my chair just as Holly stands to let Brynleigh out, neither one of us clearly thinking of proximity. We manage to clash heads just like we did in the hospital.
“Ugh!” Holly practically growls, and I hold back a snicker because, face it, that was just fucking cute.
I reach out to steady her, one hand on her arm and another on her hip.
It’s not lost on either of us that I let my fingers linger a little longer than necessary. I let go of her hip with reluctance.
“How bad did I get you?” I ask, letting my fingers trail lightly down the side of her arm and enjoying when her skin breaks out in goosebumps.
I catch the shiver and the way her eyes dilate.
Her gaze finds mine as her lips part the tiniest bit.
I want nothing more than to run my thumb along the bottom one.
The memory of biting it threatens a moment of public indecency if I think about it much longer.
She may be mad at me, but she’s still affected by me. I can work with that.
“I’m fine. Thanks though,” she mutters quickly, recovering from her momentary reaction. We all say goodbyes, and Colin invites me to go fishing with all the guys on Sunday after I thank them for the invite tonight.
Brynleigh walks Holly to her car with Trystan and me following not too far behind. I watch as Brynleigh mutters something quietly and hugs Holly real quick.
“Goodnight, Holly.” I make the effort to leave on a good note. She gives a slight tilt of her lips as she lifts a hand in acknowledgement and goodbye.
I follow Trystan to his little one bedroom starter house.
It’s only a few minutes from Phil’s. The minute I see it, I just know it’s going to be the winner of all the properties I’ve seen today.
It’s even got an actual garage to store my bike, which I hate leaving outside in the elements.
It’s also a lot closer to the hospital than the majority of the other places.
“Dude, this already checks off more boxes than ninety-five percent of the other properties I’ve looked at today or seen listings for,” I say as we walk up to the side door.
“Good. I’d like to see someone enjoy it. I was fixing it up while living in my old, little apartment before Brynleigh and I took off, so I didn’t get to enjoy it a whole lot.”
The inside is nice. You can tell a contractor lived here. One who appreciates his wood finishes and plays into showcasing masculine features. It’s not throwing bachelor pad vibes, but it’s definitely man cave worthy.
“Nice. I want it.”
“You haven’t even seen it all yet.”
“Fair, but if it all pretty much looks like this, I’m in.”
Trystan and Brynleigh sit on the couch and let me look around. Five minutes later, I’m convinced more than ever that this is my new home.
“I still want it,” I announce as I walk back into the living room.
“Sweet, beats having to sort through multiple tenant possibilities. I know you’d pass background checks and are a decent person.
The house is paid off, so I won’t charge you out the butt.
I know you have loans to pay. So, what do you say, five hundred plus your utilities a month, and we’re good?
” My eyes bug out of my head. Did I hear him right?
“Guy, I was paying twelve hundred plus utilities at the other place. You’ve got a deal.”
“I can’t believe how much people charge to rent a tiny ass apartment at some of these other places. That’s insane. I’ll have Trish at work draft up a quick document this week. She’s good at that stuff. It’ll be basic. When you want to move in?”
“Two weeks good? I have to have everything out of my place within the month. I’ll give them my notice tomorrow instead of renewing my lease.”
“Sounds good.”
“Does the garage have room for my bike and a surf board?”
“It’s all cleaned out already. Plenty of room. Your truck should even fit. You surf and bike?”
“When I actually have time. It’s been a minute. I haven’t driven down to Long Sands or Ogunquit for quite a while. I don’t know if I’ll catch many good swells this far into Spring, but, hey, I might get lucky.”
“Mind if I join one day? I haven’t been on a board in years. Before MARSOC, I surfed quite a bit.”
“Hell yeah! And thank you for your service, man. I’ll definitely holler. MARSOC?”
“Raider.”
“Damn.”
“This I’ll have to see,” Brynleigh mutters curiously as if a piece of her husband’s prior life just unlocked. “You’ve never talked about your surfing adventures.”
Trystan waves it off.
“It wasn’t really a priority anymore. For a while, I was nervous with my arm that I wouldn’t be able to handle the paddling, but I think I’m good now. It just wasn’t something I wanted to go test on my own. But if he’s there, I know I’ll be fine.”
“So, what happened to the arm?”
“Almost got blown off. It’s the reason I’m out.”
“Ah, I see. Any lasting damage?”
“After a shit ton of PT, I only deal with occasional soreness or scar tissue issues, primarily with weather changes. I got lucky.”
“For the most part. Because I’m a doc, I’m gonna ask–headwise–you hanging in there?”
“Yeah, I check in regularly with my therapist, Brett.”
“Brett from the next town over?”
“That’d be him.”
“He’s a really great guy.”
“Sure is. He’s kept me from losing it a time or two. Thanks for caring enough to check in though. Most people just avoid any discussion of it the minute they hear I served overseas.”
I nod in understanding. I’ve seen that first-hand.
“Always here if you can’t get ahold of him.”
“Thanks. That’s appreciated.”
Brynleigh pats Trystan’s knee.
“Time to get the wife home. We’ll see you at the lake Sunday?”
“Yes. Thanks for all of this. I will plan on Sunday. Snag my number from Brynleigh. She has it from the whole getting-in-touch-with-Colin thing.”
“Oh, and you know that even though she’s not happy you disappeared for a couple of months, that a lot of her beef has more to do with her past than you, right?” Brynleigh adds as she’s opening her truck door, shooing Trystan to his side.
“Yeah, I figured somebody did a number on her. That’s an absolute shame. I barely know her and can already see she’s someone that I have to have around. I like her.”
“Then don’t give up. Show up. Insert yourself until you’re blue in the face, and I’m pretty positive she’ll start to cave.”
“Planned on it.”
“I kind of hoped so.”
“Are there any other gentlemen callers I’m going to need to run off?”
“Not that count.”
“Ouch.”
“No, really, that dating app has not done her any favors other than get her back in the dating scene, which I guess is kind of good. Then at least you know you aren’t the guy after the guy who did her wrong.”
“There’s that.”
I wave at them before stepping up into my truck. It was nice being out with people that weren’t in scrubs or smelled of antiseptic. No shop talk. Along the drive home, I realize I haven’t been doing a whole lot of living. That’s going to change.