Chapter 18
Alana
“Did I tell you that you look nice today?”
I looked at Mike over my sandwich, trying not to scowl. Nice? I rolled out of bed, considered quitting my job, felt sick with shame all over again when I thought about what happened Saturday, and threw my hair in a bun before I trudged into this place. One of my students asked me if I was sick, so that was cool.
“Thanks,” I muttered dryly.
“You’ve seemed sort of down. Did something happen?”
With a sigh, I dropped my sandwich. I didn’t have an appetite when I started and I sure as fuck hadn’t found one along the way.
“Just some things I’ve had to deal with since Jake passed.”
“Oh. I know a bit about tying up loose ends like that.”
I considered whether I should confide in him. He’d been through something similar, apparently, but I was sure the situation was much different.
“Unless your wife has a secret baby out there and you’re expected to suddenly be in charge of its financial future, I don’t think you can really help me.”
His eyes widened a little. “I was expecting something more along the lines of, ‘I found his stash of ecstasy under the floorboards and don’t know if I should sell them, flush them, or take them.’”
When I laughed, he looked a little less horrified by my situation. I was surprised the guy hadn’t run off yet. Not only had Jayce punched him at the party, but I then proceeded to run out in the middle of our date, and I’d since sort of friend zoned him. Now, I was oversharing some fucked up personal shit. Maybe nice guys did exist.
“Thanksgiving is in a couple of weeks,” I noted. “Do you have family that you spend it with?”
“Yeah, but not this time. They’re in Florida and I usually fly out for the weekend, but things are tight this year. Losing my wife’s income has made things hard.”
“I understand that and so does my shitty one-bedroom apartment. I can’t imagine being responsible for a whole other human on top of it all.”
“It’s a good thing she’s likable. Do you have plans?”
“I’ll spend it with Jayce’s family.”
“Not yours?”
I looked down at my sandwich and started peeling off pieces of the crust. “They’re not around. Even if they were, I would be with Jayce’s family.”
“Whatever the situation is, it’s good that you have them. Being alone for the holidays isn’t good for anyone.”
I hummed my agreement, not sure what to say. Being alone was better than spending time with my own family, even if I could. Since my mom got out of prison two years ago, I’d only spoken to her twice. At first, I wanted to see if we could have some sort of relationship, but it had been so long.
When my parents got arrested, I was sixteen, which meant I couldn’t live on my own. I only had a part time job and Albany wasn’t exactly a cheap place to live, so it wouldn’t matter anyway. I had no savings, no credit, and not enough income to qualify for a rat-infested cardboard box. My options were to move across the country to live with an aunt I hadn’t seen in five years or find another option. Thankfully, my brother was an adult and was able to be my guardian, but I actually lived with Jake’s parents. It was better for me and Ben because he wouldn’t have been able to support me. Once we graduated, me, Jake, and Jayce pooled our funds to rent a two-bedroom apartment while we went to college. It all worked out, even if the process was a bitch.
My dad was still locked up. He’d received a harsher sentence since he was worse. Child abuse in New York was taken seriously enough that someone could earn up to twenty-five years. He got fifteen while my mom received eight.
They weren’t that bad. At least, I didn’t think so as a teenager. Maybe I was just used to it. If anyone asked me back then, I would have said they were harsh. Tough love and all that. A slap to the face or being thrown down the stairs once in a while wasn’t the worst thing a kid could go through at the hands of an adult, plus I knew foster care could be a nightmare, so I never said anything about what went on at home. When I started dating Jake, I spent a lot of my time with him anyway.
I didn’t hate them, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to have a relationship with them. Like I said, it had been a long time. I’d lost interest in any of that. Ron, Sara, and Charlie were my family and I was completely happy with that.
My phone buzzed, drawing me out of my thoughts.
Jayce: Where are you?
A smile tugged at my lips. I hadn’t spoken to him much over the weekend for obvious reasons. Hearing from him, though, was like being given a warm blanket in the middle of winter.
Alana: Work, duh.
Jayce: If I have to hunt you down, I’ll make you regret it.
Alana: Jesus. Put the claws away. Ms. Kim’s old room. Remember?
Jayce: Like it was yesterday.
“You have a nice smile,” Mike noted. He smirked at me and I cleared my expression. I didn’t know I’d still been smiling.
I gathered my phone and the rest of my sandwich, stuffing it back in the bag. When I got to my feet, he did too.
“You leaving?”
“Yeah, Jayce-”
I stopped abruptly. Somehow, I felt his presence in the room. I wasn’t sure why the back of my neck prickled and my stomach felt heavier suddenly. A hand pressed against my lower back, which helped me avoid swaying.
Great. Anxiety was going to attack at random now and send me into a whole episode. Was that PTSD? No, that seemed a little dramatic. Then again, I’d been bound and assaulted… Don’t think about that. Don’t freaking think about it.
Jayce’s hand moved around my side, allowing him to tighten his arm around me. His fingers rested just above my waistband and shifted my shirt so that he was touching my bare skin.
“You remember Jayce,” I said awkwardly, looking at Mike.
His lips were thin while he nodded. “Yup. I remember his right hook too.”
“I’m left-handed,” Jayce pointed out, sounding smug.
Oh, I was hating this dynamic already.
“I’ll see you after the last bell,” I said before pulling away from Jayce and turning toward the exit. He followed me into the hall silently. When we made it to my door, I whirled on him. “What are you doing?”
He raised a single brow. “Am I doing something?”
“You were rude.”
“By correcting him?”
“It’s your whole…” I gestured nonsensically at him.
Crossing his arms, he looked me up and down. “Is your friend threatened by me? I wasn’t aware that the two of you had something more.”
“We don’t.” I unlocked the door, then gasped when he pushed me the rest of the way in and closed it behind us. He turned me around and leveled me with a serious look.
“You’ve been pulling away from me, which means there’s something going on with you. Tell me.”
“I’m just stressed out.”
“Try again.” When I set my jaw, he tipped his head back and groaned. “You don’t want to talk about the estate, that’s fine. I’m out of my mind with worry, though. Has that guy been back?”
“No,” I lied, although I wasn’t sure why.
“Thank god. Hopefully it was just some Halloween freak wanting to mess with you that weekend. You’ll tell me if anything weird happens, right?”
“Of course. And, uh, on the off chance that I do decide to get cameras, do you have any in mind?”
He grimaced. “Will you be mad if I tell you I already bought them?”
“Jayce,” I scolded. “You need to stop trying to do everything for me.”
“If I was doing that, I would’ve had them installed already while you were at work. The cameras are non-negotiable. When you decide you want them is up to you. As you can see, I’m all about autonomy.”
“I don’t think you know how autonomy works.”
With a grin, he strode further into the room. He stood by the window and stared toward the football field. I wondered if he was thinking the same things I was last week in that position.
Dropping my lunch bag beside my desk, I was about to collapse into my chair but paused. I looked over at Jayce quickly, then stared at the ring that sat on top of my desk. In the middle, there was a Hershey’s kiss.
Impossible.
I picked up the ring and turned my back to Jayce just in case he came over here. There were a lot of gold rings in the world. It would be ridiculous to assume that this was Jake’s. When I traced the delicate pattern etched around the circle, I felt less certain. It wasn’t custom made, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that this was the same style.
It had to be one that he bought at the store. Jake was buried wearing this ring. That meant Erebus knew exactly which one Jake had. Both options were unsettling. One was downright sickening.
Slipping the ring into my pocket, I joined Jayce at the window. “That door was locked, right?”
“Yeah, you unlocked it when we got here.”
“Oh, good. I’ve been forgetting lately and I don’t want my purse to get stolen because my head is in the clouds.”
“Can’t trust none of these kids.”
“I think I’m more worried about the teachers. You should see our paychecks.”
He smiled down at me as he brought a piece of gum to his mouth. “Look, I’m not really a foot guy, but if you really need the money, I’ll buy some pics.”
I snatched the gum before it reached his lips. “You’re annoying.”
The minty flavor was refreshing. There was something about chewing gum in autumn that felt right to me. Sensing his stare, I turned and gave him a questioning look.
“That was my last piece,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
“Want it back?” I joked, holding it between my teeth.
A wicked smirk curved his lips. Grabbing the back of my head, he held me in place while he leaned forward. My heart leapt into my throat when his lips touched mine. He took the gum and pulled back, facing the window again as if that was completely normal.
Sharing gum had always disgusted me. The only thing I could think was that it was someone else’s spit sponge, but I watched his jaw move as he chewed it and by god, if that didn’t somehow make me feel warm.
“Don’t forget our coffee date on Sunday,” he noted, sounding completely casual.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”