Chapter 21
Alana
My body fucking hurt. Not only was my vulva constantly throbbing and stinging, but my arms and legs were sore from the restraints. I’d been stuck in them for so long. Eventually, I fell asleep from my exhaustion. When I woke up, I was free with no trace of the ropes or spreader bar.
So, he’d been back. I didn’t even know if I felt unnerved by it anymore. I was either apathetic or the stupidest fucking bitch to ever exist.
I didn’t leave my bed except to pee, which had been a goddamn nightmare. I ended up finding a bottle I could use to rinse myself with water like people did after they gave birth. When I tried to look at what he’d tattooed, I couldn’t handle spreading myself. Once it healed, I’d endure whatever horror he must’ve marked me with.
Word of advice: don’t tattoo your goddamn genitals. Second word of advice: don’t let a psycho tattoo your goddamn genitals.
I heard the door open and my heart began to race. He was back. Fuck, he told me he was going to leave me alone. I kept telling myself to get up, but I didn’t have the will. Besides, where would I go? There was no way I could run this time, not that it did any good last time.
“Alana?”
My eyes closed. I didn’t know if I was happy or upset that he was here. When I didn’t respond, the bed dipped behind me. A strong arm came around me and I was flooded with his scent. It made my eyes burn. A tear escaped and he grabbed my face, turning it toward him.
His brows were tight as he studied me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just one of those days.”
It was clear he didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t about to tell him that my masked stalker tattooed my pussy last night. He’d flip the fuck out and get himself killed trying to keep me safe. I wasn’t sure if the guy was going to eventually kill me, but I was past believing that anybody could save me from him.
“You’re not telling me something.”
“No, Jayce. Everything is fine. Why are you here anyway?”
“You missed our coffee date.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“It’s just coffee.”
“We can still go,” I offered, trying to make it sound like I wanted to. Sitting in a hard chair sounded like its own form of torture right now.
“No, you look like shit.”
Despite everything, I let out a small laugh. “Embarrassed to be seen with me?”
“Very. My reputation is everything to me.”
“Let me shower, then we can go eat. I know you can’t say no to sushi.”
His eyes lit up. “Bitch, you know the way to my heart.”
“Mm. I’ve known you for a while, you know.”
“Pretty sure there’s still a lot you don’t know about me.”
“Doubtful. Nothing about you could surprise me.”
There was a smirk playing on his mouth. His head cocked, then his tongue trailed over his lips. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone and he was on his feet.
“You got any milk?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Craving a glass. Go get your ass in the shower before I starve to death.”
Rolling my eyes, I stood up carefully. There was concern on his face, but he didn’t say anything as I walked to the bathroom. I already knew this shower was going to suck, but the tattoo needed to be cleaned anyway. If I ever managed to get Erebus restrained, I was going to tattoo his dick to look like a really ugly big toe. Then, I would cut it off.
The shower took longer than I expected. I had to hype myself up every step of the way. When I was finished, I carefully put on a pair of yoga pants with soft underwear. It was great how sensitive the clit was until a thousand needle pricks fucked it all up. I’d already looked up if it could cause permanent damage, which was unlikely according to Reddit. Some people actually did this willingly. Psychopaths.
The good thing was that it was like tattooing inside your mouth. It would fade a lot faster than a regular tattoo. Maybe it would hardly be noticeable someday. I couldn’t imagine the humiliation when I started dating again.
I didn’t even want to think about that. The idea of sleeping with someone made me nauseous.
I found Jayce lying on the couch with an arm behind his neck. His eyes were closed, but when he heard me, he tipped his head back to look at me.
“You look alive again.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. I grabbed my keys off the counter, then looked at the empty sink. “I thought you were going to have milk.”
“Didn’t want to ruin my appetite. Are you ready?”
“Sure, let’s go.” I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stomach food, but I would try. Even though I couldn’t stand the thought of him knowing what had happened to me, Jayce was a comfort that I needed but had been too proud to seek out.
“Do you love him?”
I shuddered when the question came back to me in his voice. That accent had become the stuff of my nightmares.
*****
After a few pieces of sushi, I started to feel queasy. I drank my water slowly, hoping it would help. It didn’t because I was so focused on the pain in my crotch that I was nauseous.
Erebus branded me and the longer I dealt with this, the angrier I was about it.
Jayce put back so much sushi, I didn’t understand how he hadn’t burst at the seams. He was a big guy, but it still seemed excessive.
I stared at him, taking in his broad shoulders and tall frame. I had no idea what his gym schedule was, but maybe I should. He was clearly doing something right. With his jacket off, I had a view of his biceps, which bulged against the sleeves of his t-shirt. He had tattoos that came down to his elbows, leaving his forearms bare, and even though I was familiar with them, I’d never taken much time to study them.
How were his forearms muscular? Even his hands looked strong enough to crack a bitch’s neck.
An uncomfortable feeling settled in my gut. Jayce wouldn’t hurt me, but the fact that he could wasn’t sitting well with me right now. Erebus had a similar build and he carried me like a ragdoll. Turning to look around the restaurant, I found another man around the same size. For all I knew, it could be him. Maybe he was hiding in plain sight, blending in with the world, and I was just sitting here eating sushi.
I looked at Jayce again, who was now on his phone.
“What are you doing?”
He turned it around, showing me a picture. It was me, looking lost in thought. I frowned.
“Don’t take pictures of me.”
“Why not?”
My phone vibrated. Since Jayce was right here, there were only a few people it could be. With a deep breath, I pulled it out.
Erebus: Are you taking care of my pussy?
Alana: Fuck off.
Erebus: Careful. I have no issue coming over and tearing it to shreds. Letting you heal was me being generous.
I sucked in a breath, drawing Jayce’s attention. “You okay?”
“Yup.”
Erebus: Do we have a date or are you going to be a good girl for me?
Alana: I’m not a dog.
Erebus: The next time I tell you that you’re a good girl, your brain will be too scrambled to think something that dumb.
Alana: Who hurt you? I bet daddy didn’t love you. Maybe he touched you.
What, no snarky response?
You’re a weak piece of shit.
Dropping the phone, I looked at Jayce. He was smirking at his screen.
“Funny meme?” I asked.
He shook his head, then flipped the phone again. There was a video of a chimpanzee pacing back and forth, looking like it was deep in thought.
“I was thinking he might be contemplating the meaning of the universe,” Jayce said.
“Maybe he’ll give us the answer.”
“If only.”
His expression grew serious suddenly. I reached across the table and took his hand. “What is it?”
“I was texting my dad. They’re meeting with the attorney on Wednesday and… Well, they wanted to know if you would go with them. They think it’ll be easier if we’re all involved as one instead of separately.”
I was glad I hadn’t eaten any more sushi. “I don’t know.”
Getting to my feet, I dropped some cash on the table. Jayce picked it up, replaced it with his own, then stuffed mine in my pocket.
“Don’t start,” he murmured, throwing an arm around my shoulder and guiding me toward the exit.
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
Something about that made me feel off. Shaking away the feeling, I took a step to the side once we made it outside. Jayce dropped his arm, then pushed his hand into his pocket while we walked.
“Alana, I need to speak my mind.”
“Okay,” I said, laughing nervously. “You always can. You always do, actually.”
“This one is difficult.” Pulling me to a stop beside his Bronco, he took my hand.
“Jayce…”
“It’s about Alicia.”
I didn’t know if that was better or worse than what had been going through my mind. “Okay.”
“I fucking hate what Jake did to you. It’s inexcusable and it’s worse that he hid it. He was a coward, but I don’t want to be. Alicia is my niece and I want to be involved if I can.”
Pulling my hand away, I crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s your decision.”
“I found out that Jake was trying to get custody before he died. I don’t know why he didn’t tell anyone. Maybe he didn’t want to unless he was sure something would come of it.”
I stepped back to lean against the truck. Every day, it felt like I knew Jake less. There were so many secrets he kept. That was his fault, but I felt like shit about myself too because I’d been blind. How didn’t I know any of this? My ability to trust was sure going to take a hit.
“Alicia’s mom didn’t want her husband to have custody,” he went on. “They were getting a divorce. Since she left everything to Jake, her husband was in contact with him. That’s when he decided to seek custody. Alana, I don’t think she should be with her stepdad.”
“Then, do something about it.”
“I’m going to try.”
With a dry laugh, I pressed my fingers back against the car. “You gonna be a dad now, Jayce? You don’t want kids.”
“No, I’ll be an uncle and I’m not going to try for custody. My parents will, though. After what I told them, they’re going to talk to a family law attorney. It’s more than likely going to be a nightmare, but Jake’s lawyer thought he had a good chance, so I’m hoping they will too.”
“Alright, cool. Thanks for telling me.”
I swung the door open, but he grabbed me and turned me back around. “There’s another thing I need to tell you.”
“Do you run around in a mask in New York city and seek vigilante justice?”
He laughed, then covered his mouth and cleared his throat. “No. It’s about Alicia’s mom.”
“I don’t want to know, Jayce.”
“You need to know. Her mom was Hailey.”
Putting a hand on my chest, I struggled to draw in a breath. He moved closer and rubbed his hands up and down my arms.
All of my emotions morphed into anger. I shoved him backward and climbed into the vehicle, slamming the door before he could try to pull me out again. I brought my feet up to the seat and perched my chin on my knees as I stared out the front window.
Jayce got in the truck and started it without a word.
Hailey. Fucking Hailey.
“Before or after?” I asked.
“After.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to keep from exploding or jumping out of the vehicle at sixty miles per hour. He reached over, but I immediately associated him with Jake and leaned away. It wasn’t something I could help. He had the same goddamn face. My mind had to torture me with that.
Jayce’s jaw ticked, but he returned his hand to the wheel. We drove in tense silence and neither of us attempted to break it. When he pulled into my apartment community, I didn’t even wait for him to stop. I jumped out, nearly falling over. He slammed on the brakes and called my name, but I ignored him.
It wasn’t until I was safely inside with the door locked that I acknowledged what was happening inside of me. With a scream, I threw my purse against the far wall. The contents spilled everywhere and it made me pause. I knelt on the floor beside it and moved my wallet, finding a Hershey’s kiss there. I pulled out my phone, fueled by pure rage at this point.
Alana: Stay the fuck away from me. If I see you, I will fucking kill you.
Erebus: Lol.
My grip tightened on the phone. I didn’t respond and he didn’t send anything else. After an hour, I navigated to his contact and blocked him. I should’ve done it a while ago, but we were here now.
Would it do any good? Of fucking course not, but it made me feel better for a moment.