Chapter 8
Eight
That was too close!
As Sebastian stormed back and forth across his room, throwing off his jacket, kicking away his boots, and untucking his shirt, he ran over in his mind all that had just happened, deciding quickly that he’d made a damn fool of himself.
Worse than that, he’d very nearly done something that he promised himself he would not.
I had not meant to! He cursed himself as he continued to pace, his body flushed with warmth, his limbs shaking at the memories of what he had nearly done.
It was a knee-jerk reaction. Old habits, found in comfort.
Finding myself face to face with a pretty woman, I have fallen back into old rhythms that were familiar and easy.
A mode of behavior that I cannot allow to happen again!
Sebastian had known this marriage would be challenging the second he’d seen his wife appear at the end of the aisle.
She was dressed in a soft yellow gown that was modest but tight enough that it presented her curves in a way that was hard to ignore.
Her golden-brown hair had caught the light, making her glow.
Her full lips, so kissable, her tight waist so grabbable.
He had gaped at first, then forced himself to look ahead and ignore her. And all the while, his heart had raced.
And when it came time to kiss her… the self-control taken to simply squeeze her hands and smile. I should be lauded for the effort!
It was little wonder that once he found himself alone with his wife, Sebastian had begun to act in ways that he was accustomed to.
It was all he’d ever been good at. Using humor and jest to lure women to his side, coaxing them into dropping their guard, pushing them away as he pulled them close. And how close she had been…
He was being honest with Margot when he told her he wished only for a marriage of convenience.
Sebastian had never wished to marry because, in his mind, love was a lie, a trick, a tale told to the foolish and the weak because they had nothing else to live for.
He did not want it. And to see what it had done to his friends – Lord Ravencourt, being the perfect example.
No… love was not his game. Nor would it ever be.
It made sense then that he needed this marriage to be a stale thing. And where he had always known that one day he would wed, he had planned on it being to a woman he had zero attraction to, thus avoiding any chance that he might one day succumb to her as he feared.
Sebastian walked to the end of his bed and sat on it, his elbows going to his knees, his head going to his hands.
His body was still shaking, and he took a series of deep breaths to cool himself.
I need to do better. No more flirting. No more coy remarks and suggestive comments.
From now on, I will treat her as a friend…
a companion… a tavern wench with missing teeth and boils on her nose.
It would be hard to do. Dammit, it would go against everything Sebastian knew about himself. But he would do it! Really, he had no choice. It was that or… or the worst might happen.
He hoped to have a night to prepare, certain he would not see or hear from his wife until the morrow. Alas, no sooner had he come to this decision than there was a knock at the door.
Sebastian stiffened when he heard it.
“Your Grace?” Margot’s voice spoke softly from the other side of the door. “Are you… Are you decent?”
He grimaced, and his pulse quickened. “What do you want?” he said loudly, a bit aggressively, but perhaps it was for the best.
“Please,” she said from behind the closed door. “This will only take a moment.”
He groaned because he knew he could not ignore her.
Then he steadied himself, forcing coolness and calmness through him.
This would not be so hard. All he had to do was control himself and not flirt outrageously.
Surely, even he was capable of that? How depressing that this might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Sebastian sighed and crossed the room, opening the door without waiting because that would only give him time to panic.
“Yes?” he said as the door flew open. His smile was polite but not dripping with his usual smarm.
“Oh.” She blinked as if surprised that he answered. “I…” Her eyes flicked over his body, widening slightly. “I hope this isn’t… I did not mean to disturb you.”
Sebastian realized that he was dressed rather indecently. Still clothed, but in the midst of undressing. And from the way that she gaped, not to mention the pink hue rising on her cheeks, he guessed that she wasn’t in the least bit upset by it. That she wants me to make this so much more difficult.
“Disturb me?” He could not stop himself from smirking suggestively, just as he could not stop himself from stepping through the doorway so that they were close.
And just as he could not stop himself from folding his arms, tilting his head, and letting his eyes slowly roam over her body.
“My dear wife, you could never disturb me.”
“I had not meant to,” she said quickly, snapping her head down so that she wasn’t looking at him. “I would prefer it if that were the case.”
“And yet here you are…” He chuckled playfully. “Why, I would almost think that you wanted to catch me in the midst of undressing. How very convenient.” He exhaled sharply and cursed inwardly at himself. Control yourself!
Expectantly, Margot snapped her head back up and fixed him in a rueful glare. “You cannot help yourself, can you?”
“Me?” He touched his chest innocently. “I am not the one who has come to my room as you have. And at a time when you must have known I would be readying for bed.” He clicked his tongue. “Shame on you, Your Grace. Thinking to take advantage of me.”
“I was not!”
“Yet here you are,” he said rightly. “Now, tell me…” He flashed his eyes. “What could not possibly wait until morning? Or rather, what was so important that you felt the need to disturb me on our wedding night? Unless…” His smile turned to a suggestive grin. “Oh dear, is that what you –”
“You are being ridiculous!” she huffed, determined it seemed to dissuade him, but doing a terrible job because he could see how her body shuddered and her eyes continued to flick over him.
Oh yes, she wants me. I am sure of it. And if I were to take her by the hand now, pull her into the room, slam the door closed behind us, it would not take a genius to guess what might happen.
And dammit, how he wanted to. He opened and closed his right hand as the thought took him. He licked his lips as he imagined her taste, how she would melt into his arms. And he felt blood rush to his crotch, a stiffness grow in his pants as all he wanted to do was…
Sebastian grimaced. No… control yourself, dammit!
He could not believe how weak he was. It had taken a mere second, and he’d broken the promise made to himself. If this marriage was to work, he needed to keep things civil. What was more, he needed to quit his flirting and treat her as he had promised that he would.
“I am…” He sucked through his teeth. “Sorry about that.”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I said I am sorry,” he repeated. “I should not have… been so cavalier. And rude, for that matter.” He forced himself to look past her, not devouring her body as she was wearing that same gown and her curves… her bosom… he could drown in them. “You need something?”
“Oh…” She blinked again, caught off guard by the change in tone. “I…” She frowned and leaned back, wary like one might be around a stray hound they came upon in the wild. “I wish to bed down for the night, only it has occurred to me that I do not have any night clothes to do it.”
“That is why you are you?”
“Why else?”
He might have laughed. He wanted to! Truly, he had assumed that she’d come to him for the obvious reason.
Why else would she be at his door like this?
But the request was so simple, so obvious, that he felt like a damn fool for thinking otherwise.
What was more, he felt a sense of relief take him, feeling for the first time like he might be able to control himself.
“Nothing else,” he laughed and shook his head. “And honestly, I am sorry I did not think of that when we arrived.”
“Oh…” She furrowed her brow as if she did not believe him. “That is fine. It is not your fault.”
“It is,” he assured her. “Lucky for the two of us, it is an easy fix.” He clicked his tongue as he considered. “If you will just wait in your room, I’ll have your luggage brought to you.”
“You don’t mind?”
He smiled, and it was genuine. “Not at all.”
Sebastian made sure to act quickly after that, not willing to give a chance for another awkward silence to fall between them. He stepped around her and strode down the hall, explaining over his shoulder that he would be quick to sort the issue.
From there, it was a simple matter of finding some of the staff and having them collect Margot’s trunks from the carriage and bring them to her rooms. There were five of them in total, but it was easy enough to guess which contained clothes; there were just the three.
“Here we are…” Sebastian walked into Margot’s room fifteen minutes after leaving her; behind him came six members of his staff carrying the three trunks. “Where should we put them?”
“Anywhere is fine.” She had been sitting on her bed, but jumped to her feet when he entered. “And again, thank you.”
“I was happy to do it.” A moment was taken as the trunks were placed by the wardrobe. “I’ll have them unpacked properly for you on the morrow.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Again…” she laughed and shook her head.
The staff were then quick to hurry from the room, leaving Sebastian alone with his wife for a third time that evening.
She was still by the bed; he was closer to the door, but he became keenly aware of the presented situation, and despite that stirring sensation in his stomach, he was sure to control himself.
“Well…” He clicked his tongue. “I suppose I will be off.”
“Yes,” she agreed awkwardly, fidgeting with her hands while refusing to look directly at him. “And again –”
“You need to stop thanking me,” he cut her off jokingly. “It will go to my head soon.”
She laughed. “And it is big enough already.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That was too easy.”
“I could not help myself.”
“Fair,” he sighed, but smiled as he did.
“I will give you that one.” It was then that he looked about the empty room, clicking his tongue as he took a step back.
There was that urge to say something flirtatious, to test the bounds of his self-control.
And indeed, he knew women well enough to know when they were open for such things, and he could tell that she was of that mind.
This would be so much easier if she loathed me as she claims. Or perhaps she does…
which only makes the temptation that much greater. “Good night, Your Grace –”
“Margot,” she spoke quickly before he had a chance to turn.
“Hmm?”
“Please…” Her smile was unsure, but this time she made sure to look at him when she made it. “Call me Margot, please. This Your Grace business…” She rolled her eyes.
“Only if you call me Sebastian.”
“That is one name I might call you.”
He laughed at that, and she laughed in return. It was natural, no sense that they were trying to prove anything, no desire to turn it toward the amorous or see it continue. “As you say,” he offered. “Margot… good night.”
“To you, too.”
He walked to the doorway, paused, and looked back.
She stood in the room’s center, her hands folded before her, those big eyes of hers watching him curiously…
even hopefully. For once, she didn’t look upon him with hatred or suspicion, and for once, he wasn’t looking at her as if trying to figure out how he might bed her.
In fact, to see her standing there alone, Sebastian didn’t think he had ever seen anyone look so beautiful. And that in itself is a problem…
He left quickly then, hurrying to his room, slamming the door closed behind him, breathing deeply as his body shook.
Sebastian would have liked to have said that leaving Margot there had been a simple thing, but that would have been one lie too many.
He wanted his wife. She wanted him right back.
The question thus became, how long would they both last until they gave in…
Or rather, who was going to break first? Based on my history, the answer should be entirely obvious. A most difficult and inconvenient marriage this promises to be.