Chapter 12
Twelve
Margot read the letter a second time… and then a third time, as if the words might have changed, thus making the choice she faced a far simpler thing to reason with.
Of course, they did not change, and upon a fourth reading of the letter, she knew that this was one problem she’d need to face head-on, rather than hoping for a miracle to rescue her from it.
The letter had arrived just this morning, sent by her cousin Arabella. It was an invitation, asking Margot to attend a garden party later in the week. More like begging, for that is what she is doing. Knowing too well how difficult it will be for me to say no. Well played, Arabella.
Her cousin was a timid creature, and ever since the scandal that had dogged her name, she was not capable of socializing without the support of her family and friends.
Elizabeth would be there, of course, likely the one who was insisting that Arabella attend in the first place.
But Arabella was determined in her letter that Margot be by her side, for she needed her cousin there with her as she always did.
Margot bit her lip as she considered what to do…
Times were that I would simply attend on my own, happy to support Arabella because she needed to integrate herself back into society, and a garden party like this was a perfect chance for just that. But times are not what they were, hence the confusion.
Now that she was married, Margot could not go to this party alone.
It was expected that her husband would join her, for if he did not, it would only add to the rumors which they had worked so hard to stifle.
This meant that if she did mean to go, she needed to ask Sebastian to attend with her.
As to what his answer might be… Margot could not say what she expected or what she wanted.
If he said no, she might feel relieved.
If he said yes, she might panic.
A no would at least allow for her and Sebastian to continue in this strange mode of behavior they had fallen into, a determination to avoid each other at every step.
A yes, however, would force them to spend time together, which itself was dangerous for reasons she didn’t need to think too hard on, for they were patently obvious to her.
Worse still, whatever his response, that she was asking him at all might be interpreted by her husband as Margot wanting to spend more time with him.
Knowing him, he will take it as an invitation to pursue me, as I know he is desperate to do.
And where she was still happy to tell herself she wanted nothing to do with him, that was a lie which was getting harder to accept with each passing day.
What to do… what to do… what to do…
Margot spent the morning with that letter, going over in her head the options she had.
In the end, she knew that there was but one right path to take, even if she was not looking forward to it.
She had to ask him, that much was clear.
In so doing, the onus would fall on Sebastian’s shoulders, and from his response she might be able to glean what exactly it was that her husband wanted.
Not that I do not know what he wants! Even if he has done everything he can to prove otherwise. It is all very confusing. At the very least, this right here might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, finally. As to whether this was a good thing or not… Margot supposed that time would tell.
She decided to wait until supper before asking the question – the fact that this was the only time that she and Sebastian spent together made the decision easier.
Even then, the supper unwound in typical fashion.
An awkward silence peppered with small talk to begin with, both careful not to let their conversation divert down the path of bickering and teasing, as both seemed to understand the risks involved in such a thing.
As they ate, she eyed her husband curiously, noting how focused he was on his food, how determined he was not to be drawn in.
It is a strange thing to think, but he’s not at all what I expected. Oh, sure, that side of him is certainly there, but that he is so determined to keep it hidden from me suggests there is more to him than meets the eye.
“Sebastian,” she started eventually, knowing she could not avoid the topic any longer. “Might I ask you a question?”
He was chewing on a lamb chop but made sure to swallow before finally looking at her. When he did, it was careful and studied, his stare forcing itself above her chest to meet her eyes without that coy smirk that was so often hidden behind them. “Of course,” he said simply.
“A letter arrived for me today,” she began, speaking slowly as she watched her husband for his reaction. “From my cousin, Arabella. Attached to it was an invitation to a garden party being hosted by Lord and Lady Marlow…” She trailed off, still watching him closely.
“And I take it that you would like to go?”
“Oh…” She shrugged as if the thought had not occurred. “My cousin wishes for me to go – she is rather shy and awkward in social situations. She was hoping I might attend for support.”
“Is that right?” A smile tugged at the side of his mouth.
“I would go alone,” she hurried to say. “Only that might not be proper. Despite the circumstances of this marriage, I realized that it would only be right if I checked with you first.”
“You would like to attend on your own?”
“No – I mean, I am not sure.” She grimaced to herself, forcing composure.
“It would be a strange thing if I were to go alone, as we are married, so the two of us would be expected, no? With that in mind…” She bit her lip, trying to work through what she wanted to say.
If only I knew. “If you do not wish it, that is fine too. Truly, I do not – I just thought it best that I let you know so that you can decide.”
That went about as badly as she could have hoped. Worse, too, she could see the amusement in her husband’s eyes, for he no doubt understood well enough what she was doing. Forcing the decision onto him so that she would not be responsible for whatever happened.
Sebastian did not answer immediately. He continued to study her, smirking boldly, seeing through her ruse in a way she should have expected. Not that it mattered, because now he would have to decide what to do, and that would hopefully make things simpler for both of them.
“You are right,” he said finally. “If you attend without me, it will look strange. What is more, considering how our marriage came to be, it would no doubt cause unwanted gossip.”
“It’s settled then,” she said quickly. “We won’t go.”
“I did not say that,” he parried.
She blinked. “Wh – what?”
He laughed at her awkwardness. “Perhaps it is time that we got out of this house. Despite the circumstances of our marriage, we are man and wife, are we not?” He raised an eyebrow at her for an answer.
“Yes…”
“And were we to hide away here, it would invite gossip – which is what we are trying to avoid.” He kept that eyebrow raised. “Are we not?”
“Y – yes,” she stammered. “Of course.”
“Good. Then it is decided. We will attend together. Let the ton see us. Let them make of us what they will.” Then he shrugged and went back to his plate. “To be honest, I might even go so far as to say that I am looking forward to it.”
“You are?” she frowned, certain he was making fun.
“It is not my way to stay cooped up indoors all Season, Margot. I rather enjoy socializing, and I don’t intend to stop now just because I am married.
You are not one of those sorts of wives who want to change their husbands, are you?
” He winked coyly. “Surely, you would not wish such a thing on me.”
“I don’t care what you do,” she said sharply. “Just as you should not care what I do.”
He chuckled at the response. “Just promise me that you won’t do anything to embarrass us. For example, tripping over, dropping expensive vases, tearing your dress, so some poor lord is forced to save you.”
She glared at him. “That is not… You are the one who I should be making sure to behave.”
“Is that right?”
“I think we both know why you enjoy socializing as you do.” She cocked an eyebrow at him and scoffed. “I will remind you that you will be there with your wife, so please keep your hands to yourself.”
“I would say the same to you,” he shot back, the smile on his lips reaching his eyes so that she knew he was teasing her. It made her stomach flutter and her pulse quicken, which had her clearing her throat to try to compose herself.
“I think I will be perfectly fine with that directive. In fact, I know I will be.” She attempted to fix him in a flat glare of disinterest, but her pulse continued to race so that her cheeks flushed slightly.
“As you say…” He laughed to himself and shook his head as he speared a pork chop onto his fork and took a bite.
So it was that she and Sebastian would be attending a garden party together.
To many, it might seem a small thing, but to Margot, it felt hugely consequential.
In the public eye, they would be forced to behave themselves and treat each other as any happily married couple might.
No bickering. No avoidance. Walking arm-in-arm so all could see them together.
The danger of such a thing was obvious, and yet… I can’t help but be curious, even excited to see what happens. A part of me hopes he tries something just so I can deny him. Another part hopes he does so that I might not…