Chapter Four #2
He exhaled slowly and admitted what he never had before.
Not even to the woman he’d almost married.
“I did fall apart. My mother and Robbie were at my grandparents’ old hunting cabin a few hours from here and lost electricity.
Carbon monoxide from a faulty generator nearly did them both in.
Robbie was sleeping on the couch in the living room, and my mom was upstairs with her door closed to keep the noise out.
My father and I got up before dawn and drove up to surprise them. That’s when we found them.”
He stopped walking and looked up at the stars, the terror of that awful day hitting him anew, Robbie’s cherry-red skin and lifeless body. “They tried to revive Robbie, but he was gone. My mom survived, but the mother I knew didn’t. She never got over it. She’s still a mess.”
Without a word, his sweet Trouble stepped in front of him and pressed her cheek to his chest, her arms sneaking under his jacket in a warm embrace.
It had been years since anyone had offered him any type of comfort.
Emotions clogged his throat. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, soaking in the comfort of her.
“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, holding him tighter.
How could an embrace and a few heartfelt words hit so deep? She stayed there for so long, when she tipped her face up, the moonlight catching in her eyes, she no longer felt like someone he’d only just met, but like someone he was close to, and he had the overwhelming urge to kiss her.
“It’s all right.” Pushing away the sadness he couldn’t afford to give in to, and the conflicting desire rising up beside it, he drew upon happier memories and searched for the North Star. The sight of it eased the ache of missing them. “See the North Star up there?” He nodded in its direction.
“Yeah, but I call it the Spy Star, because it’s always there watching us.”
A smile tugged at his lips. Did his brother have a hand in his meeting this woman? “You sound like Robbie. He used to call it the Stubborn Star. He said it always showed up, even when the rest were hiding.”
“Sounds like he was my kind of boy. I’m sorry you lost him.” She put her hand on his stomach, her fingers curling into his shirt, those caring eyes watching him. “You must miss him a lot.”
“Every day, but I keep him close.” He pulled a silver chain out from beneath his shirt, showing her the sixteen-point silver North Star charm he’d had made years ago. He’d worn it every day since, with the exception of the years he’d spent in prison.
“That’s beautiful. Do you have any other brothers or any sisters?”
“No.”
“What about your dad?”
He hesitated, but something about her—everything about her—drew the truth. “We’re not close.”
“I’m sorry. That’s got to be rough.”
“He’s a dick,” Crew said, flat and unembellished.
She blinked, then let out a surprised laugh. “Well, that clears that up.”
He smiled, glad she didn’t pry for more information. They stood there for a long moment, her fingers gripping his shirt, the night whispering around them. With a tilt of her head, she said, “Are you a dick, Ragnar?”
The question didn’t surprise him coming from this firecracker, but his answer did. “Probably. But not like he is.”
She bit her lower lip, her eyes narrowing seductively. “Know what I think?”
He lifted his chin in question.
“I think any guy who would carry me down a mountain, stop himself from drinking too much, and not try to coerce me directly from the bar into his bed isn’t a dick at all.”
She had no idea how much he wanted to believe that.
He told himself to step back. She deserved better than the wreckage he was still sorting through, but he’d spent years learning to shut things down, and whatever this was, he ignored every lesson.
He framed her beautiful face with his hands, tipping it up, and brushed his thumb over her cheek.
Her skin was silky smooth. His gaze moved slowly from her eyes, which said she wanted him, to the mouth that had been toying with him all evening.
Fighting the urge to kiss her was like trying to hold back the wind, but he forced himself to rein it in.
“I like you, Trouble, but I don’t want to mislead you.
I’m not a one-night-stand guy, but my life is complicated right now.
I can’t make any promises.” The fact that he was even thinking about that was startling.
“Well, now you’ve done it.” She sighed. “I’m sure you meant that as a warning, but I totally heard a challenge.”
A rough laugh tumbled out, and he shook his head. She was trouble all right. She made everything feel not only easy and possible but fun.
“You can stop worrying about me,” she said. “I can take care of myself. Come on, Mr. Not a Dick. The hot tub is right around the bend.”
She took his hand, tugging him down the path, talking a mile a minute. “Hot tubs are wildly underrated, don’t you think? They’re good for your body and excellent for your emotional health. Warm water, cold air, and zero expectations, like a winter hug for your whole self.”
Her gloved hand was small in his, her enthusiasm as captivating as her beauty. “Is that scientific?”
“Absolutely. I read it somewhere, I think, although I might have seen it on a sign. Or maybe it was on a meme. I am on social media a lot. But I could have just decided it was true and stuck with it. I guess that’s not really scientific, but it should be,” she said as they neared a wooded area, and three cabins came into view.
She wrapped her other hand around Crew’s arm and whispered, “The science of belief.”
He glanced around, amused, and lowered his voice, too. “Why are we whispering?”
“Ambience.” She grinned up at him.
Christ, she really was a trip. He couldn’t remember the last time someone’s presence made him feel lighter. “Which one is yours?”
“That one.” She pointed to the only cabin with no lights on. “I don’t believe in wasting energy.”
As she led him around to the back of the cabin, he couldn’t help thinking she was talking about electricity rather than personal energy.
But his next thought nixed that one altogether.
She didn’t waste personal energy. She embraced it, and if ever there was a gift, it was that she chose to share her radiance with him.
“Come on,” she whispered, and ran up the deck steps to the hot tub.
They disconnected the clips that locked the cover and folded it back, shifting it into place over the side between the hot tub and the railing, and turned on the jets.
She dipped her fingers into the water. “Perfect!”
Crew assumed she’d head inside to put on a bathing suit, but she pulled off her boots and socks and then her jacket, tossing it onto a chair. As she unbuttoned her snow pants, she looked back at him, her eyes gleaming. “Get those clothes off, Ragnar.”
So much for her bathing suit.
She shimmied out of her snow pants as he took off his boots, and she whipped her top over her head.
Her pink lace bra sparkled in the moonlight like it was made of glitter.
She peeled off her leggings, and fuck. His lungs stalled, but his body sure as hell didn’t.
She was all soft curves and confidence in that sexy bra and matching thong.
He stripped down to his boxer briefs, fully aware of her eyes on him as she climbed into the hot tub.
He followed her in, the water closing around him, its warmth sinking into his knotted muscles.
She dipped shoulder deep beneath the water with a pleasure-drenched sigh, the ends of her hair floating on the surface.
It had been so long since he’d been intimate with a woman, much less heard such a sensual sound, it wound through him like a slow burn, warming all the places that had long ago gone numb.
Her gaze coasted over his body, lingering on the scars on his shoulder and chest. Echoes of the accident he barely remembered and hated himself for causing.
He moved beside her, sitting close enough to feel the magnetic pull between them but far enough to make him acutely aware of that space.
A curious smile played on her lips. “Did you get those scars from one of your Viking raids?”
“I wish.” His amusement at the reference was quashed by the harsh reality of the truth. He hesitated, wanting to be honest with her, but he wasn’t about to share the gritty details of his past until he’d done so with the people it directly affected.
“You look like you’re trying to decide whether you want to say more,” she said.
You’re so damn sharp. “I am. They’re from a painful time in my life I’d rather not talk about.”
Her brows lifted. “Should I be concerned?”
That was a tough question. He couldn’t know how she or anyone else would feel, but he knew where he stood, so he answered with his truth. “No. I made some bad choices, and I’ll never make those mistakes again. But if you’re uncomfortable and you’d rather end this here, I can leave.”
She leaned one arm on the hot tub, angling her body toward him, and said, “You don’t scare me, Ragnar.”
Relieved, he stretched his arm across the edge of the hot tub, running his fingertips along her forearm, his gaze steady on her. “I get the impression there isn’t much that scares you.”
“There’s not, but there are a few things.”
He traced a path above her elbow. “Such as?”
“You first,” she challenged, brushing her fingers over his biceps.
Smart woman, not showing her underbelly until he revealed his. Little did she know he’d already revealed more to her than he ever had to anyone else. “Carbon monoxide.”
Her fingers stilled, her expression softening. She slid her hand lower, resting it on his arm and holding him there. “What you went through would scare anyone.”