Chapter Seven #2
Tiny hesitated long enough to rattle him before shaking his hand. “What do you want with Dare?”
“I’m not here to cause problems,” Crew said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I was hoping to apologize and try to make amends.”
“You served your time.” Tiny lifted his chin, eyes serious. “You’ve paid your restitution.”
Crew shook his head. “That’s just time and money. It’s not enough. Not after the damage I’ve caused. I could’ve killed Dare and his girlfriend—”
“Wife,” Wynnie interjected. “Dare and Billie are married now.”
Relief hit Crew hard. “I’m glad to hear that.
I worried that the accident…” He gritted his teeth, not wanting to lay his guilt on them.
“I know an apology won’t fix anything. There’s no excuse for what I did.
It was the first and only time I’ve ever gotten behind the wheel when I was drunk.
I wouldn’t blame you for not believing me, but it’s the truth.
I went through the substance abuse treatment program while I was in prison.
I know that doesn’t make up for what I did, and I’m not making excuses or looking for forgiveness.
I just…” His eyes burned, and he turned away, fisting his hands, trying to regain control of his emotions.
“Would you like to sit down?” Wynnie asked.
“No, thank you. Look, if you don’t want me to speak to Dare, I get it.”
Wynnie and Tiny exchanged a glance that he couldn’t read.
“Dare is the only one who can make that decision,” Tiny said.
Crew nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“You’ve been out for a couple of weeks,” Tiny said, his serious tone telling Crew he wanted him to know he’d kept tabs on him. “How are you settling back into your life?”
“How am I…?” He looked at Tiny incredulously. “How can you even care about how I’m doing after what I did to your family? You should hate me.”
“Maybe we did for a while,” Tiny said, his gaze steady. “But hate’ll kill ya if you let it.”
Crew’s jaw tightened with the truth of that statement.
He’d known hate three times in his life.
When he’d lost his brother, when he’d experienced the worst kind of betrayal before the accident, and when reality had set in and that hatred had turned inward.
He knew all too well how hatred could sink into a person’s marrow, sucking him into its darkness, warping any sense of right and wrong until everything looked worthy of a fight to the death.
“I’d genuinely like to know how you’re doing,” Wynnie said, drawing his attention back to the conversation.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” Crew said honestly.
“I’m trying to get my bearings, but I feel stuck.
I can’t think about moving forward until…
” He tried to find the words. “I don’t know what needs to happen.
I know I want to apologize to Dare and Billie, and to you and your family, and Billie’s family, but I know that’s not enough.
Nothing seems like enough, and I’m not saying that to gain pity or make myself sound better than I am. I’m…at a loss.”
“That’s not unusual for someone in your position,” Wynnie said.
“Not everything that’s broken can be fixed,” Tiny added. “Sometimes you’ve got to learn how to stand in the wreckage without becoming a part of it.”
Crew’s gut burned. “Yes, sir. I know that.”
“What are you doing about work?” Wynnie asked.
“I don’t have that figured out yet, either.”
“You worked with your father, didn’t you?” Tiny asked, but Crew heard another underlying message, telling him Tiny knew much more about him than Crew knew about them.
“Yes, but I can’t go back to wealth management, and even if I could, I don’t fit into that world anymore.
I’m not sure I fit anywhere.” That was why he’d taken advantage of the prison’s hands-on training program and had learned to operate and repair heavy equipment.
That was solo work, where he didn’t have to fit in with anyone.
“I’ll figure that out once I deal with the most important aspect of all of this, which is doing whatever I can to make up for the damage I caused.
I am doing some volunteering, but again, nothing seems like enough. ”
Another look that he couldn’t read passed between Tiny and Wynnie.
Feeling antsy, Crew said, “It was nice meeting you both, and I’m truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused you and your family, but I’ve taken up enough of your time.”
“We’re not done here,” Tiny said sternly.
Crew stiffened, bracing for whatever lashing he was due.
“I know you’re probably anxious to speak with Dare, and you’ll get your chance.
” Tiny crossed his arms, his expression serious.
“This ranch exists because people either screw up or follow the only road they’ve ever known and end up in hell.
Some have suffered abuse. Others have doled it out.
Some are fresh out of rehab or prison, and others are too lost to find their way alone.
But they all have two things in common. They’ve got no idea how to reconcile who they were before with who they are when they come out the other side of whatever they’ve gone through.
They’ve either lost their purpose, or they never had one in the first place.
That’s where we come in. Through therapy and working on the ranch, we help them figure those things out. ”
“It sounds like the people who come here are lucky,” Crew said.
“There’s no luck in this,” Tiny said. “The people who come here bust their asses. We believe in hard work and accountability. If you’re serious about wanting to make amends and figuring out how to move forward, we can help you get there.”
Momentarily rendered mute at the offer, it was all Crew could do to process it.
Wynnie shot Tiny a questioning look.
“Helping people is what we do,” Tiny said authoritatively. “Being here would give Crew the structure he needs and a way to contribute while he’s figuring out his next step.”
Crew felt the tension between them and didn’t want to cause more trouble. “I appreciate the offer, but I get the impression Dare’s not going to be very open to speaking with me. I doubt he’d be okay with me working here.”
“This isn’t about Dare,” Tiny said. “It’s about helping you become whole again.”
Crew’s thoughts skidded. “But you don’t even know me.”
Tiny’s eyes never left his. “We know you fucked up and you need help. You didn’t come here with a chip on your shoulder or because it’s required of you. That tells us you’re not afraid to face your demons. We’ll learn the rest as we go.”
Crew was starting to see where Birdie got her confidence and her ability to read people. Know what I think? I think any guy who would carry me down a mountain, stop himself from drinking too much, and not try to coerce me directly from the bar into his bed isn’t a dick at all.
“It won’t be easy,” Tiny said firmly. “If you want this to work, it’ll take a full commitment. We run a tight ship. You’ll live on the ranch and work hard, physically and emotionally, and we won’t put up with drugs, excessive drinking, or disrespect of any kind.”
Crew’s heart hammered against his ribs. This wasn’t leniency.
It was a reckoning. Accountability. The kind that didn’t erase the past but demanded he stand in what he’d done and face the people he’d hurt.
By the look on Wynnie’s face, he was pretty sure she wasn’t on board with Tiny’s idea. That made it better. Harder.
Crew rolled his shoulders back. “I’m not looking for easy.”