Chapter Twenty-Eight
BIRDIE AWOKE TO a cold breeze on her cheeks, the warmth of Crew’s body cocooning her, and her heart full to near bursting.
Her gaze moved to the bank of windows overlooking the mountains.
The window on the far left was open a few inches.
Her heart squeezed at the gentle reminder not to take anything for granted.
She closed her eyes, reveling in the sure and steady beat of Crew’s heart, the happiness in hers, and the feel of his hand gripping her hip, as if he’d never let go.
She hoped he wouldn’t.
“How’s my sexy little blanket thief?” he asked sleepily.
“Excuse me?”
“You tried to wrap yourself up like a burrito last night.”
“Maybe I was having a dirty dream and hoping you’d eat me.”
He barked out a laugh and rolled onto one elbow, grinning wolfishly down at her. “I will never turn down that invitation.” He kissed her. “Sorry about the open window.”
“It didn’t bother me.”
“Did you sleep okay?”
“Mm-hm. This bed is super comfy.” She tucked her toes beneath his leg, glancing around the room.
It was all dark wood and tailored textures, with an understated luxury vibe, far from the Crew she’d come to know with his flannel shirts and scuffed boots.
But the softer-than-velvet linens and solid furniture, the stone fireplace she’d seen in the living room, and the granite kitchen, were clearly made to last, which was very much like the man she knew.
“How long have you had this place?” she asked.
“A while. I bought it as an investment a few years after college.”
She tilted her head. “Did you come here a lot?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
A faint smile tugged at his mouth. “You ask a lot of questions first thing in the morning.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“Sorry. Are you one of those people who needs to drink a gallon of coffee before conversation?”
“No. It was an observation, not a judgment. I like the way your brain works.” He was quiet for a second before saying, “Even though Robbie died at my grandfather’s cabin, some of my best memories are of being there with him.
Ice-skating on the lake, running around like maniacs, roasting marshmallows over a bonfire.
Life was simple there. I bought this place thinking one day I’d have a family and would create that kind of togetherness.
But after I got out of prison, I came here, and it felt wrong.
Too reminiscent of the life I used to lead. ”
“Then why did you invite me here?”
“Because I wanted to spend time with you somewhere we didn’t have to hide, and I’m glad we came. You really do make everything better.”
Birdie reached up to touch his cheek, her bracelet catching in the morning light as it slid down her wrist. “That’s because sometimes it isn’t the walls around us that make the difference. It’s who we spend our time with.”
“That’s truer than you know,” he whispered, almost to himself.
“I wish we could stay in this secluded little bubble of happiness forever.”
He brushed his fingers through her hair. “You wouldn’t be happy with that. You’d miss your family. Take it from somebody who lost his.”
“Why do you have to make so much sense?” She tucked herself against him. “Can’t you just let me live out my Viking burrito fantasy?”
He hugged her as he rolled her onto her back. “I can definitely make that fantasy come true.” He began kissing his way down her body.
SEVERAL ORGASMS AND one sexy shower later, Birdie was looking at pictures on the mantel in the living room while Crew sat on the couch, using a book as a makeshift desk, writing in the card he’d bought for his mother last night.
Birdie studied the pictures of Crew and Robbie, drinking in their young faces. It was easy to see why Crew reminded his mother of his younger brother. They shared the same straight nose and deep-set eyes. Crew’s hair was lighter then, and Robbie shared that golden-brown shade, too.
Her gaze moved to a picture of Crew standing barefoot in a shallow creek, squinting into the sun like he was standing guard over Robbie, who was crouched beside him, peering under a rock.
In another picture, they were running through a field, all bony elbows and knees.
She smiled as she moved to the next picture, of Crew in blue ski pants and a red coat with Robbie, who wore red ski pants and a blue coat.
They had on bright yellow helmets, their goggles perched on top of them, and they were beaming like the world was one big ski slope made just for them.
Her breath caught on the next picture of the two of them sword fighting in ninja costumes, reminding her of Crew and Gus at the Trunk or Treat event. Had he been thinking of Robbie then? She had a feeling he thought of Robbie and his mother all the time.
The next frame held a photograph of them with their mother.
She looked so young and beautiful, with long dirty-blond hair and a vibrant smile.
She was holding the hands of her two young boys, who were grinning from behind ice cream cones.
In the next picture, she was making a snowball, her hair blowing in the wind, her eyes bright with life.
Birdie could practically hear her laughing.
Her gaze rolled to the next photo, of the three of them on a couch.
Robbie was lying with his head in their mother’s lap.
Crew sat on her other side, his head resting on her shoulder, innocent eyes at half-mast, one hand in his brother’s hair, as if he’d been rubbing his head.
Birdie’s throat tightened as she looked at the next picture, summer heat showing in their sun-kissed cheeks.
Their joy was so pure, it felt like it still hummed under the glass.
It broke her heart knowing the bright-eyed little boy hanging on to Crew’s back in the middle of a pool lived on only in photographs, stories, and the tender way Crew and his mother still carried him in their hearts.
She turned around, admiring the man who was claiming more of her heart with every passing moment.
The man who had endured so much grief by such a young age, he must have more strength than ten men combined.
He was poring over the card for his mother, his writing slow and careful.
Thoughtful, like everything else he did.
“How’s it coming?” she asked gently.
His brow furrowed, his eyes trained on the card. “It’s strange, writing to her. But it’s good. It’s easier to say what I feel.” He glanced up at her. “I’m telling her about you.”
Her eyes widened. “Why me?”
“Because I think it will make her happy knowing I’m happy.”
“I’m sure it will.”
“I think she and Robbie would really like you, and I wish they were here to meet you. But I’m not telling her that part. It would make her sad.” He blew out a breath, as if the words had cost him more than he’d anticipated.
Birdie’s heart squeezed. He was always protecting someone. She wrapped her arms around him from behind the couch, touching her cheek to his. “I’m really glad you’re writing to her.”
“Me too.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I’m glad you’re here with me while I’m doing it.”
THE DAY WENT by too fast. As Crew carried their bags out to their vehicles, he wanted to stop time, to create that bubble Birdie spoke of and step into it with her, sealing out the rest of the world for a little while longer.
He put her bag in the trunk of her car and tossed his on the passenger seat of his SUV. And then she was in his arms again, holding him so tight, he had to close his eyes against the emotions welling up in them.
“I don’t want to leave,” she said into his jacket.
“Me neither.”
She pulled back, her expression soft but worried. “I hate how complicated everything is. But if all we can have is a secret relationship, I’ll take it. I’d rather sneak around with you than not have a chance to hold you at all.”
Fuck. This was not the man he wanted to be. He took her face between his hands, bringing her eyes to his, needing her to hear every word he was about to say.
“Birdie Whiskey, you listen to me. You are meant to be adored openly, consistently, and thoroughly, and I’m going to do everything within my power to make that possible.” He sealed that promise with a kiss.