Chapter Thirty #2
“Oh, honey. We all know what that means.” Her mother lowered her voice to a whisper and said, “But we’ll pretend we don’t.”
“Billie, when are you and Dare giving us little daredevils?” Juliette asked.
“We’re having too much fun practicing to give it up for diapers and sleepless nights,” Billie said.
Marie choked on laughter. “There’s no talking going on there.”
“Yes, there is,” Billie said. “But it’s all dirty.”
As the others cracked up, Birdie held her palm up. “I do not need to know that about my brother.”
“Sasha, how are you feeling?” Juliette asked.
“Surprisingly good,” Sasha said. “I haven’t had any morning sickness yet.”
“I never had morning sickness with you,” her mother said as she hugged Sasha.
“That’s my sister, an overachiever since birth,” Birdie teased.
“I can’t believe my baby is having a baby,” her mother said. “This is going to be the best Thanksgiving yet.”
There was so much to be grateful for, but her mother’s declaration was clouded by all that she and Crew were hiding.
The kitchen door flew open, and Quinn rushed in, eyes wide, cheeks pink. “You guys, Cutter proposed!” She waved her left hand, fingers splayed, showing off a sparkling diamond engagement ring.
Another eruption of excitement filled the kitchen. Masks crinkled, arms wrapped around Quinn, and everyone talked at once, admiring the ring and congratulating her.
When Birdie finally got her arms around her bestie, she said, “I’m so happy for you!”
Quinn clung to her. “I can’t believe I’m getting married.”
“I can! He adores you,” Birdie said.
“I want all the details!” Sasha said.
Quinn got teary-eyed as she described their romantic dinner at the restaurant where they’d had their first date and Cutter getting down on one knee in front of everyone, asking her to marry him.
Birdie awwed, laughed, and squealed with the others, but inside, something twisted in her chest.
“Look at it,” Quinn said, shoving her hand toward Birdie again, showing off the elegant pear-shaped diamond. “He picked it out himself. Can you believe how well he knows me?”
“It’s perfect, Quinn. It’s totally you,” Birdie said, and it was.
Quinn took Birdie’s hands, her eyes shining. “Will you be my maid of honor?”
“Of course I will!” Birdie exclaimed, and hugged her again, hoping Quinn couldn’t tell that something was off.
“What a day,” her mother said. “Sasha’s pregnant and Quinn’s engaged!”
“Sasha’s pregnant?” Quinn exclaimed, starting another flurry of activity.
As everyone crowded around Quinn and Sasha, elated by their news, Birdie edged toward the door, needing air.
“I’ve got to get something from my car. I’ll be right back,” she said, but no one was listening. She slipped outside.
The cold air hit her through the holes in the mask as she stepped into the yard.
She gulped it in, but it didn’t ease the tightness in her chest. She tore her mask off and crumpled it up, wiping the remaining goo from her face with her other hand, and paced the grass, telling herself she shouldn’t be jealous.
She was happy for her sister and her best friend.
She really was. So why did it hurt so badly that she couldn’t tell them that she had someone wonderful, too?
She crossed her arms, warding off the emotions vying for release. She wouldn’t trade what she had with Crew for anything, but it still hurt, watching everyone else live their love out in the open, while hers had to stay in the shadows.
Willing herself not to cry, she stared out at the dark pasture.
The kitchen door opened behind her. Birdie swiped at her eyes and pasted on a smile as Quinn stepped outside, pulling the door shut behind her.
“There you are,” Quinn said. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Great. Just had to look for something in my car.” How many lies could she tell before losing her mind?
Quinn didn’t look convinced. “You left while we were all celebrating. Are you upset about my engagement?”
“What? No. I’m thrilled for you. Why would you think that?”
“Because something’s wrong, and I don’t know if it’s me or if you’re going through something, but I feel like I’m losing my best friend.
” Her voice escalated. “We never hang out anymore, you barely talk to me about anything but work, and even then, it’s not like it used to be.
It’s like you’re shutting me out. I know you’re busy.
I get it. But you won’t let me help with anything, and you don’t ever talk to me about what’s going on in your life.
I’ve been trying to wait it out, but I can’t.
I miss you. I didn’t think I was one of those girls who ignore her friends for a guy, but if I’ve made you feel that way because of Cutter, I’m sorry. ”
Birdie’s heart cracked open. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Then what’s going on?” Quinn demanded. “Because you left the room five minutes after I told you I was engaged. If this were a few months ago, you’d be halfway through planning my bachelorette party by now.”
“You’re right. I would be.” Tear stung her eyes. “I did walk out, and I have been avoiding you, but not for the reasons you think.”
“Then why? What is going on?”
Birdie grabbed her arm with a shaky hand, dragging her farther away from the house. “If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.”
“Okay,” she said skeptically. “Are you in trouble?”
“Not yet, but I will be. Remember my Viking from the ski weekend?”
“Yeah, Crew. The jerk who ghosted you and hit Dare. What about him?”
“I’m still seeing him,” she admitted shakily. “And have been for about two months.”
“What?” Quinn practically shouted.
“Shh. Somebody’s going to hear you,” she said sharply. “It’s a long story, but he’s a really great guy, and I’ve been afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to see the look that’s on your face right now, judging me like he’s a horrible man, when he’s not.”
Quinn blinked several times without speaking, her expression something between shocked and offended.
“What is wrong with you? Of course I’d judge you!
The same way you’ve judged me for the guys I’ve dated.
Because that’s what best friends do,” she insisted.
“We watch out for each other and play devil’s advocate.
So you’re damn right, I would’ve looked at you like this and asked what the hell you were doing, and then you’d tell me to stop being a bitch and convince me of all the reasons Crew’s a great guy.
Or you wouldn’t, and I’d convince you that you deserve better.
That’s Bestie 101!” She threw her hands up, tears welling in her eyes.
“We say the hard things because we’re the people who can.
I can’t believe you didn’t trust me enough to tell me! ”
“I’m sorry!” Tears spilled down Birdie’s cheeks.
“You have no idea how hard this has been! I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid. What if you didn’t want to see the truth because you love Dare and Billie too much?
Everyone does. I do, but I’m falling for Crew, and I didn’t want to hear you say it’s wrong to be with the guy who hit Dare and Billie.
I know it’s supposed to be wrong. I struggled with it, too, but I can’t help it.
” She gulped a ragged breath and glanced at the door, lowering her voice. “And I’m not going to stop seeing him.”
“So you lied to my face at Halloween when I asked if he tried to talk to you and you said not since he apologized?” Her eyes teared up.
Birdie nodded, more tears falling. “I’m sorry. I felt like I didn’t have a choice. Dare’s being such a dick to him, and I’m terrified he’s going to find out, and then…” She shrugged. “I don’t know what he’ll do to him.”
Quinn stared at her like the ground had shifted, tears sliding down her cheeks, her gaze softening a little. “You’re an idiot.”
Birdie flinched, tears spilling faster. “You’re right. I am. I should have trusted you of all people.”
“I wish you had, but none of that explains why you’re shutting me out at work.
I’ve worked my butt off for years growing the business with you.
I thought we were a team and that you’d at least consider me as a partner when Carly left.
” Her voice cracked. “It really hurt when you didn’t even mention the possibility. ”
Birdie’s stomach dropped. The partnership?
“Oh my God, Quinn. I’m an idiot and an asshole.
” She swiped at her tears. “With everything that was going on, I was so wrapped up in proving to everyone that I was more than just a cheerleader who could take pretty pictures and talk to customers, I didn’t slow down to think about how it would affect you or to see it from your perspective.
Of course I want you as a partner. If you really want that level of commitment and responsibility. ”
“What do you think I’ve been doing for all this time? Thinking of the shop as just a job?”
“No. I just wasn’t thinking straight. When all this started, I had nothing but the shop, and suddenly Carly was leaving to have a baby, and everyone was telling me to give that piece of the business to you because they didn’t think I could handle it.
And you had Cutter, and I don’t know…the shop was all I had.
I didn’t think it through, and I’m so sorry I hurt you. ”
“Who said you couldn’t handle it?”
“Everyone,” she admitted. “Not in those words, but that’s what they meant.”