Chapter Seven
WHATEVER STRENGTH Jake Carson had drawn on to present a facade of a man coping with his reality, it was running out.
The only thing keeping him going was the upcoming mission to locate Theron.
Seth’s psychic gifts were impressive, but Fielding’s interrogation had left Jake with no illusions as to which of them possessed the greater skill.
That… encounter had cost him a lot of energy, and he’d hated being so relentless, but he’d had no choice.
Horvan and Aelryn needed him. And they were going to need him again.
All he had to do was keep going, keep pretending….
Jake wasn’t sure how much any of them had guessed about his mental and physical state. He’d done his best to lock away his thoughts during the last few days, but while that prevented Dellan from seeing his inner turmoil, it hadn’t kept Nicholas out.
Maybe that’s as it should be. A mate should know the truth.
“And what truth is that?”
Jake gave a start. “You know, for a man who shifts into one of the largest animals on the planet, you move as silently as—”
“A mouse?” Nicholas offered as he rejoined Jake on the patio, handing him a tall glass of water.
“And you’re not the first to remark on it.
I had a boyfriend once who claimed I was a secret ninja.
” He smiled. “I didn’t dissuade him from that theory.
It added to my… mystique.” He sat on the chair next to Jake’s and gazed out at the lake, the setting sun reflecting in its still waters.
“This is a beautiful place. Horvan told me the first time Vic visited, he was out of the car and into the water in a heartbeat.” He pointed to the piles of building supplies.
“Do you know about the house Dellan is having built for them?”
Jake nodded. His son had grown into a thoughtful, loving, generous man.
Nicholas cocked his head. “But I’m not out here to talk about Dellan. I’d rather talk about you.”
Jake’s heartbeat slipped into a higher gear. “Oh?”
Nicholas’s large warm hand covered his. “It’s okay. I understand more than you think. Such as why you’ve been out on the patio most of the time since we got here. And I don’t think you give your new family in there enough credit. They understand too.”
“Understand what?” The lake was a sheet of molten golds, reds, and oranges, like oil flowing on the surface of water.
Nicholas cupped Jake’s chin, and gently but firmly, he forced Jake to look at him. “No one gets out of captivity after thirty-one years and slips right back into a normal life. No one , do you hear me? Not even Jake Carson.”
Jake’s breath caught in his throat.
“I know you don’t want to admit it, but there’s a truth you need to accept if you’re going to come through this.”
Lord, the pain in his chest…. “What truth?” Jake croaked.
Nicholas took hold of his other hand and faced Jake. “You need to be right with yourself and everything that’s happened to you before you can believe life is real again.” He swung out his arm, encompassing the view. “That all this is real.”
Jake had never felt so seen, and God , the relief. The damn burst, and he sobbed.
Nicholas knelt on the slabs and put his arms around him, Jake’s face buried in his neck. “Let it out, love.”
Jake’s tears soaked into Nicholas’s shirt, and it felt good to finally let go. Nicholas stroked up and down his back, a constant soothing reminder of his presence. When his sobs ebbed, Jake drew in a long shuddering breath and smiled.
“You need to get up and sit on a chair. At our age, concrete wrecks the knees.”
Nicholas chuckled. He released Jake and retook his seat. “Now let’s talk about sex.”
Jake blinked. “Wow. You’re a fast worker. Out here? Sure, I’d be up for that, but you know Crank’ll want to sell tickets.”
He laughed. “Idiot. Can you be serious for a moment? And don’t think I can’t see past that smokescreen of humor you put up.”
Jake bit his lip. “Okay. No smokescreen.”
“I know we’ve talked about taking the next step, and Lord knows, I want you inside me, but….”
Jake smiled. “The feeling is mutual. In fact, I thought about it a lot while I was in that camp.” He sighed. “But the thing is? Mentally I need someone to help me get back into a good place. Don’t get me wrong, please. I really do want you. It’s just…. ”
Nicholas cupped his cheek once more. “What you need right now isn’t sex but a real connection. Something solid to build on. So I thought that… maybe we could, you know, date for a while.”
The sweetness of Nicholas’s words and tone robbed Jake of breath for a moment.
Nicholas sighed. “A lot has changed for both of us, and we need to get to know each other all over again. We need to get back into the headspace where we’re both safe and whole and holding on to one another, waiting for the storm to pass.
And with time—and help—it will pass.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Jake’s in a chaste kiss.
“Right now you need to work on being Jake Carson again. I understand that completely. And I’ll stand by your side on this journey if you want me there.
I’ve waited all these years to have you back, and I’ll be honest, even if sex is never on the table, I’ll still want you. ”
Jake smirked. “Sex on the table? Got some kinky fantasies going on there, Doc?”
He laughed. “And there you go with that smokescreen again. The only fantasy I have right now is of living the rest of my life with you. That’s all I want. The rest is merely icing on the cake.”
“Huh. First tables, now icing.” Jake managed a grin.
“I like the way you think.” Before Nicholas could utter another word, Jake laid a single finger on his lips.
“The humor helps, okay? It’s a coping mechanism.
And I love the idea of weathering this storm with you at my side.
Because I get the feeling I’m about to sail into a shitstorm of epic proportions, and I’m going to need a port to come home to. I need you .”
Nicholas squeezed his hand. “You’ve got me. I’ll do whatever it takes to be there for you.”
Jake swallowed. “Would that include giving up your single bed in the basement and moving into my room? At least while you’re here. I don’t want to sleep alone. And I think having your arms around me might quell some of the nightmares.”
Nicholas grinned. “I’m going downstairs now to shove all my stuff into my bag and bring it to your room.”
Jake had to smile. “You really like that idea, huh?”
He chuckled. “What gave it away?”
“You know what else is going to take some time? Catching up with the world. When I was first captured, phones were things that plugged into a wall, or else you found them in a phone booth on the street corner. I was gazing around the table this evening, and everyone has a cell phone. I mean, everyone . And as for the internet….” He shook his head. “What else have they come up with?”
Nicholas chuckled. “If you think that’s impressive, wait until you see the new sex toys.
Remote controls and everything.” Jake stared at him, and he laughed.
“And no, that isn’t a joke. I could put something in your ass and with a touch on my phone, I could have it vibrating even if I was in a different state. Or on a different continent.”
Jake was on another planet. It was the only explanation.
Nicholas chuckled once more. “So many things you need to learn about…. You missed the first Fleshlights, for one thing.” Jake gave him an inquiring glance, and Nicholas waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it now. I’ll show you. I have one. And then there’s the Magic Wand.”
“That gizmo for massaging aching muscles?” Miranda had bought one for him.
Nicholas roared. “Oh, sweetheart, you really do have some catching up to do.”
Jake smiled. “Sweetheart. I like that.”
He could cope with everything this brave new world had to throw at him—as long as he had his family and Nicholas.
Don’t forget. Somewhere out there, we have another mate.
Hearing Nicholas inside his head was easier to accept than the idea of a remote-controlled sex toy. Then a thought occurred to him.
“What if our mate is a she? Would you be okay with that?”
Nicholas smiled. “Why don’t you ask Crank that question?
Because while Roadkill—or maybe it was Hashtag—might have dubbed him the gayest straight guy ever, he’d never considered being in a gay relationship until he discovered Saul and Vic were his mates.
And what’s he like now? As the younger generation is fond of saying, he’s totally loved up.
So to answer your question, yes, I’d be okay with that.
Because she would be our mate, and I can’t believe some higher power would bring us together if there was even the merest possibility that we wouldn’t be compatible.
” He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on the back of Jake’s hand.
“The same higher power that gave you your gifts for a reason.” He looked Jake in the eye.
“I also believe it’s no coincidence we freed you at this point in time.
You’re supposed to be here. You have a very important task to perform, one that might change the course of shifter history. ”
The hairs on the back of Jake’s neck stood to attention, and his arms prickled into a carpet of goose bumps. He couldn’t argue that point.
Not when he’d had the same thought.
“Hey, you two. Can you come inside for a minute?” Dellan hollered from the French doors.
Nicholas held on to Jake’s hand. “Let’s go spend some time with our new family.” He chuckled. “Funny how things turn out. I’ve been alone all these years, and now I have a mate, and by extension three stepsons and their mates.” He led Jake into the kitchen—
“Surprise! Happy birthday, Doc!”
There was the crack of party poppers, a cacophony of noisemakers, and suddenly there was glitter everywhere. On the table sat a cake, and even though Jake had told Mrs. Landon what he wanted, he had to laugh when he saw it so well executed.
Nicholas guffawed. “It’s an elephant wearing a party hat.” Draped over its back was a banner bearing the words 60 TODAY. He turned to Jake, his eyes shining. “This is your doing.”
Jake gave him as innocent a stare as he could manage. “Whatever gave you that idea?” He peered at the flickering candles and fanned himself. “Whoa. You could heat the whole house with those. Better blow them out fast before they burn the place down.”
Nicholas placed his hands on the table and leaned forward.
“Make a wish!” Seth yelled.
He closed his eyes for a second, then blew out every single candle.
Horvan cheered. “Way to go, Doc. Amazing breath control.” Dellan dug him in the ribs with his elbow, and Horvan blinked. “What did I say?”
Jake chuckled. “I think it’s more a case of what Dellan didn’t want you to say.”
Any retort Horvan had planned was lost in the pop of champagne corks, and Dellan and Rael busied themselves filling glasses. When everyone had one, Dellan gave Jake a nod.
Jake raised his glass. “They say elephants can remember. So raise your glasses and join me in a toast to the man who not only remembered me, but also never forgot that he loved me.” He locked gazes with Nicholas. “Happy birthday, Doc. ”
His words echoed around the kitchen, and there followed the sound of clinking glass. Jake took a sip, pleasantly surprised by its smoothness and flavor.
Nicholas picked up the cake knife from the table and gently tapped his glass. The room fell silent as he raised it.
“Thank you all for your kind wishes, and for helping me celebrate a day that… well, to be honest, I’d almost forgotten about.
I also have a toast, but it has nothing to do with my birthday.
” He cleared his throat. “Let us drink to all our tomorrows. May each one be better than the previous, and may all our efforts be rewarded with success.”
For a moment nobody spoke, and Jake noticed tears in the eyes of more than one of those people gathered around the large table. Everyone took a drink in silence.
Jake pointed to the cake. “And now you need to cut it.”
Nicholas’s eyes twinkled. “Only if you cut it with me.”
Crank snickered. “Watch it, Jake. He’ll be bringing out a ring box next and getting down on one knee,” he quipped.
Jake opened his mouth to reply, but Nicholas got in there first.
“Two things about that. At my age, you only go down on one knee if you’ve dropped something and you’re looking for it, because while getting down is easy enough, getting back up again takes more effort.
” He snickered. “And sometimes by the time you get down there, you’ve forgotten why the hell you were kneeling in the first place. ” Laughter ensued.
“What’s the second thing?” Saul asked.
“I don’t have a ring for Jake because I’ve already given him something more valuable and much more significant.” He gazed at Jake. “My heart.”
That was all it took to bring on Jake’s tears. He put down his glass, Nicholas did the same, and they clung to each other while their friends and family patted them, cheered, whooped, and hollered.
Jake caught sight of Dellan’s tear-streaked cheeks, and he smiled.
You’re happy for me, right?
Dellan beamed. As if you have to ask.
It didn’t matter that there was the possibility of danger awaiting them around the very next corner. That they were about to face a Geran who had the potential to be the greatest menace they’d ever faced, and in his own stronghold too.
We have the strongest weapon imaginable. We have love.
Nicholas tightened his arms around Jake.
Let’s hope it’s enough.