Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
Misha
Getting some alone time after swimming all day with Felix was supposed to bring her comfort. She needed time to think, and as he kept pointing out, her decisions needed to be her own. Despite the absolutely delicious food available at the resort, she was half tempted to throw her food at him when he kept bringing that up over dinner.
When she got back to her room, she found Samantha’s socials and looked through them. The girl did have an eye for fashion, and although her sister had social media too she seemed a little more reserved in what she posted. Misha friended them both so she could keep her promise when the time was right, and she was just settling into her bed to sketch for the first time in who knew how long when her phone rang.
She glanced at the phone, frowning as she hurried to swipe the call. “Zeke?”
“I take it the trip is going well?” he asked by way of greeting.
She had forgotten how dry Zeke’s humor was. “You’re calling me,” she reminded, sitting up in bed. Other than when she pestered him to look into Felix, they really hadn’t spoken before. He was someone who worked for Penny’s family after all, not hers. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“You can thank Penny for this one,” he said, making her even more curious. “You need to make sure you ask Felix all the questions you have before committing to something.”
“That’s cryptic.”
“Like I said,” he continued dryly, “thank Penny. She wants to make sure you know what you’re getting into.”
“Penny is worried about nothing,” she scoffed, but a creepy feeling was setting in. She didn’t know what Zeke had or hadn’t found, but it was making her uneasy. “What is it?”
“I’ll send you the file. It could be nothing. But at least ask. You went through all the effort of going to the Ranch, you deserve his brutal honesty.”
Brutal honesty?
Her phone dinged letting her know something came in, and Zeke blew out a breath on the other end. “Don’t kill the messenger, Misha. Just look through it and think before you act.”
He hung up before she could respond, and Misha stared down at the phone. It really bothered her that Zeke contacted her about this instead of Penny, which just had her questioning what was going on.
As she stared at the file he emailed, she almost didn’t want to open it. But if Zeke of all people called her, she needed to know what was in it. Avoiding things ended them up right where they were now, and she didn’t think she could handle any more misunderstandings. She barely had a week to decide if she wanted to go with Felix as he traveled or stay here in the States and work on herself, or what. Now something else?
Clicking on the message, she braced herself for whatever was in the file.
A little bit of time away was Misha’s instinctive response to problems, so when she realized what she was seeing about Felix could alter all her choices since coming to the Ranch, she ran. Not permanently, but no matter how big the resort was, she suddenly felt suffocated knowing Felix was there too.
“You look troubled, dear.”
Misha glanced at Mildred. Leaving the resort wasn’t exactly a conscious decision, as she’d gone on autopilot after scanning the intel Zeke sent her way. Why he’d missed this in the beginning she didn’t know, but she planned on reaming him for it the next time she saw the bastard.
When she didn’t say anything, Mildred put down her gardening shears and the bundle of flowers in her hands and crossed to the other side of the counter. This was the only spot in Porter’s Corner Misha was familiar with, and she hadn’t thought horseback riding or anything at the Ranch would give her enough space to think. The weather was decent for now, but another storm was set to blow in later in the night and she knew she needed to vent her feelings for a little while and then head back. This needed to be a therapeutic but short outing.
“Something on your mind?” Mildred asked again. Misha imagined at one point in life the shop owner had been probably taller than she was, but now Mildred was a little stooped with age. Being near the same height now enabled Mildred’s kindly eyes to meet hers, seeming to implore her to stop avoiding the problem.
She blew out a breath, hoping the tears stayed at bay. She wasn’t much of a crier, but there was no one she was specifically close with at Rawhide and crying to a therapist over this didn’t seem right. She didn’t need therapy right now, she needed to break something. “I think the man I love is married.”
Mildred blinked, dropping her hands again. “That’s more than a bit of bad news.”
Misha scoffed. “I’ll say. He talks about us being in love… but his marriage is almost as old as I am.”
“Well, that’s not right,” Mildred agreed, crossing her arms. “What kind of cheeky bastard drags a poor girl around like that?”
“Who knows,” Misha grumbled. She’d thought she knew Felix and was starting to understand him, even opening up to him. Then he’d gone and hid a secret like this, and the betrayal cut deep. Maybe that’s why he always jerked her around. At the end of the day, there was a wife in the background.
Strangely one he never spoke about. Penny sent her some messages she left unanswered, and it sounded like she had no idea about a wife either. Laurent certainly had never brought it up.
Misha knew it was too good to be true. Running after him, playing this game, it felt like everything was a cruel joke. She didn’t understand why she let herself get swept up in a mind game like this, and never questioned Felix’s personal life. Watching Penny struggle with her own love life was enough to convince her that meddling wasn’t always best. Her bestie might be with Laurent now, but there had been a time Penny’s parents tried to marry her off to Laurent’s son, Ulrich. Ulrich had been born when Laurent was only sixteen which made him just a few years younger than Penny. It was rather hilarious, but Misha didn’t want any kind of complications. So far as Misha knew, Felix didn’t have any dramatic problems like that hiding in the background, but then again he never specifically told her anything to hint at it either.
Something soft brushed her cheek, and Misha glanced toward the source. “A white poppy.”
“One of the flowers of sadness,” Mildred agreed, handing her the bud she’d brushed against her cheek. “It’s out of season, but my green thumb lets me grow a great many things in here.”
Misha clutched the stem tightly. She knew a little bit of the symbolism in flowers because she liked the blooms so much, but she didn’t necessarily agree with the one Mildred just handed to her. “I’m not sad. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I want to be mad.”
Mildred nodded like she understood, leaning back against the counter. Misha decided she really liked the elderly woman, and she intended on doing her part to help ensure she stayed comfortable throughout the winter months with her business. “You’re justified, dearie. Infidelity is a crime in and of itself.”
It was, but Misha just didn’t think that was quite it. Felix spoke passionately with her, and maybe she just didn’t want to admit how badly he played her. She couldn’t imagine him cheating someone as badly as he would be some unannounced wife. Whether or not she was in the background of his job, she deserved more respect than that.
Misha hated cheating. She couldn’t stand the people who went through with it, and being part of the scandal just made her feel dirty. She didn’t understand how Penny’s beau Laurent let things go this long and didn’t expect some sort of fallout. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, and as much as she wanted someone to scream at, Penny wasn’t it. Maybe Laurent, but even that didn’t seem just. That was part of the reason she still let herself doubt the truth, because Laurent was brutally honest with Penny and she couldn’t see him leading his girlfriend on. And if Penny knew, she would absolutely share with Misha.
She wanted Felix. She’d chased him like a lovestruck dork and now she was paying the price. Whatever they were building together at Rawhide shattered, and all she wanted now were explanations to this sick game. Bitterness threatened to overwhelm her, and she swallowed back the self-loathing until at least she left the shop.
Clutching the flower to her chest, she was grateful she came to visit Mildred. She wanted the comfort of the flowers, but the shop owner was growing on her too. “I’ll take a dozen poppies.”
The storm was coming in, Misha could feel it. But kicking senselessly at snow and throwing piles of powder and ice in a field was kind of therapeutic, even if it didn’t actually fix anything.
It wasn’t quite a tantrum. Tantrums happened because someone was unruly. Her anger was justified, and she needed to physically vent her frustrations before she could even humor speaking with Felix without losing her cool.
He had messaged her, wondering where she’d gone, and she purposefully ignored him. The flowers sat nicely in her passenger seat, reminding her she couldn’t stay out too long, and she let out a bellowing, frustrated scream into the empty world.
Driving a little outside the town’s limits was a good idea as she stomped around. It was nice getting to let out the pent up frustrations, but she didn’t need an audience either.
She desperately wanted to go back to confiding in the pages of her diary. They at least didn’t hurt her, and she wouldn’t be foolish enough to rip them out and give them away to anyone ever again.
“Stupid, ignorant, self-centered man!” she cried, kicking at the snow. She’d successfully kicked a hole through the heavy layer of powder down to the dead grass and had moved onto a new spot to disturb until she saw the ground again. It was getting late and she knew she needed to head back as the wind picked up but going back to the Ranch felt like going back to heartbreak.
She needed to start thinking things through a little better. She wanted answers from Felix, and when she’d arrived, she thought she’d finally gotten some of them. Turns out he was lying through his teeth, and she couldn’t shake the self-recriminations.
She growled as another burst of wind slammed into her, and she spun in a circle as she kicked up more snow. Nothing would fix the raging hole in her chest except confronting Felix, and try as she may, she truly didn’t want to do that. It would shatter the happy illusion surrounding them.
And that’s all it was. An illusion.
Misha screamed once more, continuing to spin in the snow. A few fat flakes began to fall, and she knew that should be her sign to start heading back. Instead, she tilted her head back, ignoring the freezing wind, and let several large snowflakes land on her tongue. It was a brief, calming moment compared to the storm inside her heart.
There was the sound of scuffling, and she squinted a bit, focusing her gaze once more in the fading light. A good distance away, she watched as a pair of large deer appeared from the trees, followed by a smaller one.
Oh, wow. A little family.
It was two does and a calf. They looked so picture perfect in the falling snow, it made her breath catch. She knew she was on the outskirts of the town so she didn’t bother anyone during her outburst, but she hadn’t paid attention to much of the wildlife as she raged. The snow all around her was disheveled, and she did a small circle eyeing the trees nearby.
Good thing she didn’t smell delicious today. No predators seemed to have come out to find her before the storm…
Misha gasped as she turned, staring at another doe. Beside the soft creature stood a stag with mighty antlers, eyes fixed on her.
She glanced toward her car, which was a good distance away. She had wandered again while she kicked, and the little calf was sauntering toward her where the snow revealed dead grass and leaves. The stag watched her with an unwavering gaze as a doe moved to walk beside the calf, and Misha swallowed as she took in the scene between herself and her car.
Oops.