Chapter 14
“You’ve been home every night this week,” Lekso said. “Is everything okay?”
Vlash glanced up from the stock ordering he was trying to do. He’d been staring at the screen, not thinking about pasta and cereal at all. “I went to training last night.”
He’d been out but hadn’t seen Mason all week, and he didn’t like that he was missing him or that he had become a frequent and enjoyable occurrence.
Somehow, Mason had slipped beneath his guard, shoved a blade between his ribs, and now it was lodged in his heart. And he didn’t like that feeling at all.
But he didn’t want to lose it either because the emptiness would be worse.
“That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”
“Why are you so keen for me to leave the house?”
“Because when you’re not leaving it to be with that human boy, you’re a grumpy shit.”
Vlash scowled at him. “Ah, you want me to go out so you can have that… Katie over. Is the knights’ return from their honeymoon impacting your ability to visit your girlfriend?
” Vlash lifted his hand. “Do not bother to tell me half-truths. I know you two have been dating for some time, but I do not want to wish you a short life so that it works out. Nor do I want to see your pain when she ages, and you do not.”
That wasn’t his concern with Mason. Vlash doubted he’d make it anywhere near the elvish average lifespan on Tariko.
No, he was worried about what everyone else would say about him being with a human. He shouldn’t care what they thought or said. He was old enough that he should be able to withstand their disapproval.
That his cousin didn’t disapprove and was happy for him also sat uneasily. So it seemed as though he couldn’t live with the disapproval or approval. With Mason or without him.
And the indecision irked him.
“It is something I have thought about, Dad. But I can’t live my life around things that may or may not happen. I will deal with them as they happen. What other choice is there?” Lekso sat opposite him. “My choices are not what has kept you home.”
Vlash sighed. “My choices have kept me home.”
Lekso waited for him to speak. He was good at giving people space, much like his mother. He suspected Lekso would make a good lawyer, though he was disappointed he would not train to be even a part-time archer.
“Last time I was there, his ex came around, and I used magic to make him listen.”
“The ex?” Lekso clarified.
Vlash nodded. “But now Mason does not trust me. He does not understand the way we use words and magic.”
Lekso smiled. “I mean, half the time, I don’t either.”
“That is not true anymore. You have learned.”
“And so can he,” Lekso said as if it were that simple.
Vlash grimaced. “Only if he wants to learn, and humans can be stubborn.”
Lekso stared at him. “Are you suggesting humans are more stubborn than elves? Can you actually hear yourself? You’ve had over two hundred and sixty years to become set in your ways. And he’s had what, twenty-six?”
“He’s thirty-five.” Old enough to know what he wanted and what he didn’t want. And if he didn’t want magic, there was nothing Vlash could do.
“You could level the field.”
“What are you talking about?” But he already knew, and the refusal to even consider it was forming on his lips.
“If you shared your true name—”
“I do not share my name. Names have power.” He shut the laptop and stood. “Have you told Katie yours?”
“This is not about me and Katie. Do you trust him with your name? Or is it one way with you expecting him to trust you and your magic?”
Vlash rested his hands on the dining table and considered his son. “Your mother was the last person I spoke my name to. I do not know if I can speak it again.”
“Then you are admitting you want to remain alone until your last breath.”
He shook his head, not wanting to go back to how it had been. He’d promised to make better choices this year. “No. I don’t want that. Only it would be easier if he wasn’t human.”
“Would it? Or is that the excuse you found to keep your distance?”
“You are too much like your mother,” Vlash snapped.
“I will take that as a compliment. And I hope that he can see through your bullshit as clearly as she must have.”
Vlash let out a bark of a laugh. “I will be out tomorrow night. You may have Katie around.”
“Will you be coming home?”
“I don’t know, but either way, a decision will be made.” He was too old to be juggling his heart, tossing it to lovers and hoping they caught it and returned it whole. He’d thought that part of his life was over, and now there he was, ready to lob it at Mason, hoping to get one back in return.
If he kept a hold of his heart, he would end up crushing all the life out of it. Did he really need to tell Mason his name?
Was that all it would take for Mason to trust him?
With his name, Mason could unravel any binding or vow he made.
Perhaps it was that simple, and it was his own fear of being hurt, of watching his heart shatter on the floor, that kept him quiet.
It had taken him so long to put it back together. And there were still pieces that were missing, lost in the collapse, never to be returned because his wife and daughter held them.
Those gaps could never be filled…but there was room to add new pieces.