Chapter 7 y Goals
Shelly Goals
SARAH
It was only noon when I got back to the hotel, but I headed straight for the mini-bar.
“Shit,” Ellie said, setting her laptop down. “That bad?”
“That bad.”
I picked up a sealed bottle of something… then put it down again with a trembling hand.
“No,” I said out loud.
“Wait, it was good?”
I laughed softly, whirling around with my finger out. “No. If I didn’t let my husband turn me into a hot mess, I’m not going to let this new asshole do it either. I will not day drink because of a man.”
Ellie shook her head. “I’m lost.”
I dropped down onto the bed across from her. “Ellie, it was him.”
I explained the whole story, start to finish.
She’d seen me hanging out with the mysterious older man that night. Over the weekend, she’d tried to ask me about it. I’d demurred, played it off like it was a silly night of flirtation; burning off steam after everything that had happened with Ted.
The thing was, I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted to leave it as it was: a private, magical night for me to keep like a treasure in my heart. Something I could take out and hold in my hand in my lowest moments. To remind myself of my capacity to feel magic still.
But I couldn’t tuck that memory away—not anymore. Not when the veil had slipped off and the mysterious man turned out to be grumpy, stiff Jamie Reilly—a man who instead held my future in his hands.
If only I hadn’t fucked up this new life before it even began.
I explained what happened, and that I was so rattled at first, I could barely think.
Every trick I’d ever learned to train myself to be confident vanished.
Luckily, the kind receptionist had explained the dog situation to Jamie’s son, so he chalked up my anxiety and scattered thoughts in the beginning to that.
He left the room to get me some coffee and a towel for my hands, which were a little muddy thanks to the adorable little puppy. I took a bracing breath. Then another.
“Finally, I realized Jamie had no right being upset with me,” I said.
Nothing bad had happened that night. It was just an awful, unfortunate coincidence. Who could blame me for not wanting to tell him who I was that night or why I was in town? It wasn’t his right to know back then.
“And he took away the dog!” I made a fist in my lap, still upset about it now. I’d needed to see the sweet puppy find his owner. That pain was too close to my own, and made me deeply upset, even now.
“Anyway,” I said. “Once we got going, the interview was amazing.”
Unlike his dad, Seamus was kind and smart and sweet.
After we went through the formal questions, we hung out chatting for a long time, nerding out over architecture and carpentry.
He went off about his recent visit to the Museum of Building in DC, and I told him about the little online channel I made to teach my niece carpentry.
We only disbanded because the next interviewee arrived.
“So what do you think?” Ellie leaned back on her straightened arms. “Are you going to get the job?”
I laughed wryly. Even after all that, I wasn’t hopeful. “I don’t see how I would. There’s no way Jamie would let him say yes, no matter the lip service about leaving the decision up to him. Plus, even if by some miracle I got hired, Jamie would be my boss.”
Ellie’s expression softened. She knew what getting involved with a superior could lead to. It’s how she’d gotten pregnant by a man she didn’t know was still married. One who’d let her go before she could advise HR of her condition.
“I’m so sorry, Sarah,” she said. “Maybe you should have that drink.”
I laughed. “Nah. You know what I’d like?
I’d like to drive around this town. I want to find all the ugly corners to remind myself it’s not as picture-perfect as it looks.
” I stood up. “I want to go to the worst restaurant in town and then hang out down by the… I don’t know, wrong side of the tracks or whatever. ”
Ellie howled with laughter. “I’m in.”
Unfortunately, as it turned out, Quince Valley didn’t really have a seedy underbelly.
It really was completely picturesque. Though we did find a restaurant with a two-star overall rating called Barry’s Burgers.
But even there, the food wasn’t the worst I’d ever had.
It was the cantankerous server, Barry’s wife Shelly, apparently, who gave the restaurant the bad ratings.
She looked at us with dead eyes. Told us they were out of mustard and if we didn’t like it to get the hell out.
“I have never met anyone so completely out of fucks,” I whispered to Ellie as she left the table.
“Absolute goals,” she laughed.
We talked about Shelly for a good half hour. Shelly would never let a man fuck her up. She would tell him exactly what she thought, no question.
Shelly was our new hero.
We did find the dump, which was definitely on the ugly side, but even there, down at the river dock a man waved happily at us as he angled his towboat up to the garbage barge.
“It’s no use,” I said, as we drove back to the hotel. There, up the winding road from the river, I caught glimpses of wildflower-filled meadows and the occasional secluded log home. Places I could absolutely picture living out my days in. “This place is perfection, in every way.”
Ellie chewed her lip. “Did I ever tell you about the worst job I ever had?”
I shook my head.
“This homeowner was an absolute control freak,” she said.
“He questioned my judgment at every turn. Micromanaged me and second-guessed everything I told him. He never did that with any of the male contractors working on his ugly-ass Goliath of a vacation home with me. But when he made some crack to my male assistant about how hard it must be to work under a woman, wink wink, I lost my shit on him. I told him exactly what I thought about him, and where he should go. I may have mentioned his ass on more than one occasion.”
I laughed. “Oh my God, Ellie. I would have paid to see that.”
“You would have loved it. Or cringed. He fired me, of course. But you know what the worst part was? He was my neighbor back home. That’s why he’d hired me.
So I had to see that motherfucker everywhere.
I went to barbecues at his house. Our kids played together.
And yeah, it was weird as hell at first, and I wanted to punch him in the face every time I saw him.
But then… we learned to just exist together.
Now he’s still my neighbor and we just don’t talk about that experience.
And it’s okay. So whatever happens here, if you start a business and you pass that guy in town, you’re going to be okay. He doesn’t own your life.”
She was right. Absolutely right. But I couldn’t quite shake that feeling that she didn’t really get the whole of it—and that was because I hadn’t told her the truth.
I hadn’t told Ellie I’d stayed up all night after that meteor shower, replaying every moment in my mind.
My stomach fluttered so hard I swear I nearly passed out as I relived each touch; each look.
Each way he looked at me when I spoke like I was saying something groundbreaking.
I hadn’t told her how profoundly upsetting it had been to go from having a stranger you meet change your life in the best possible way—someone you may have built up in your head a bit to be larger than life—turn into a rude, flawed human.
Someone who you imagined might move mountains for you instead of barely deigning to look at you.
I knew that wasn’t fair. I still didn’t know Jamie for shit.
But Ellie was right. I couldn’t let him take my new life away from me before it even started.
I could stay here—at least for a while. Rent a workshop, bring my tools out, and drum up some carpentry work.
After the interview, Seamus and I had talked about these videos I used to do for my niece Mae.
She was in middle school, but there was a club at the high school for woodworking she had her eye on.
You had to have a certain skill level to get in.
I’d set up a channel filled with me doing carpentry in my workshop, to help demonstrate some of the projects she could do to help her get there.
I wouldn’t call the channel viral by any stretch, but I did end up with quite a few subscribers who weren’t my family.
It was fun. Scary, once more people than my family saw it, but fun.
Except I didn’t have a workshop here. Maybe I could—
My thoughts were interrupted by a buzz in my pocket.
“Shit,” I said. My youngest sister Kit had called while I was in my interview.
With all the excitement, I’d forgotten to call her back.
Kit and our other sister Amy, along with Amy’s girls, were the absolute only reason I had any regrets about leaving Cincinnati.
But maybe I’d be back sooner than I thought if none of this worked out.
“Sorry,” I said to Ellie, pulling over. But when I pulled out my phone, the call display said Reilly Contracting Group.
My heart stopped. Then it lifted like a brainless balloon.
What if it was Jamie?
I showed Ellie the screen.
She flapped her hands. “Answer it!”
I swiped open the call.
“Sarah Cooper.” My professional voice swept itself right into place, thank God.
“Sarah.” It was Seamus.
I let out a breath. It was good it was Seamus. Right?
“Hi,” I said. “Nice to hear from you so soon.” I had no idea if it really was. He was probably just thanking me for coming in. Saying sorry but we had several amazing candidates and—
“Listen, I know it’s barely been a few hours since your interview,” Seamus said.
“But I didn’t want to wait. We called your references and they all told us what we already knew: that we’d be foolish to give you any chance to head elsewhere.
If you’re up for it, I’d love you to join us here at Reilly. ”
I blinked. “Oh.”
Oh? Ellie mouthed, her eyes wide.
Seamus must have mistaken my long pause for hesitation.
“I’m prepared to set it up exactly how you’d like it,” Seamus said. “As much site work as you want.”
“Your father…” I blurted out. “That is, I know you have full authority, but I’m just wondering if your father…he wasn’t there in the interview.”
My stomach tore itself into knots waiting for his response.
“I discussed it with Reilly Senior. I told him how our interview went. You’re the best candidate I’ve interviewed for any job, quite honestly. He agreed you’re the best choice.”
My stomach fluttered into the sky.
He wanted me.
I wanted to smack myself. It didn’t matter what Jamie wanted. But I couldn’t stop that foolish swell of my heart. As completely wrong as it was.
“Okay,” I said. How could I say anything else?
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s…” I swallowed. The worst idea of my life? The best? A no? I looked at Ellie, panicked.
She took a breath and pointed to my finger, where the faintest tan line marked the place my wedding band used to be. Then she made a little rectangle on the side of her chest where Shelly’s name tag had sat in the diner.
She whispered zero fucks.
I grinned.
She’d done that while we were down at the dump, announcing she was going to split up with the guy she’d been dating. “Shelly would never stand for his lukewarm shit,” she declared.
There was no more letting men dictate our lives. We were badasses. We were entering our Shelly eras, giving no more fucks about pleasing anyone or making choices that weren’t our very own.
“Yes, Seamus,” I said. “It’s a yes.”
Seamus was a fairly reserved guy, so I was surprised when he actually whooped. Then cleared his throat. “Perfect. Great.”
We hammered out the details for paperwork and a start date, then I hung up.
Then Ellie and I both shrieked.