Chapter 24 The Big Show
The Big Show
SARAH
The crowd murmured amongst themselves.
“Okay,” I said. “Time’s up.”
I stood in front of the audience, peering at the packed house. While I’d had a last minute burst of nerves when my presentation started, the moment the audience quieted, I’d immediately remembered everything I’d practiced for.
Everything Jamie had helped me with.
The attendees had been rapt through the whole hour-long talk, and the presentation had gone so well I felt like now, at the very end—the interactive portion of the presentation—I was walking on air.
If only for that one pesky detail. I’d been too amped up with prep to dwell on what had happened with Jamie this morning. But now, with the presentation winding down, I felt it pressing in at the edges.
“So?” I asked, pacing the front. “What did you decide?”
I’d asked the crowd to take a minute to think about what they’d be taking away from my talk today.
“Isn’t that kind of self-serving?” I’d asked Jamie last night when he’d suggested it.
“No. It helps cement the key points in. They love it, because they get to take ownership of the information.”
I knew in a few moments I’d be mobbed by the 200 women in the room, both with questions about my presentation, and to sign up to join Heartbreaker Trades. Just like Jamie said they would. I should have been elated.
Except he hadn’t shown.
I knew he was lying about having somewhere else to be this morning.
He’d never do that to anyone else, and he’d worked hard to help me.
At the very least, I’d have thought he might sneak in the back late to be a good boss.
But I’d scanned every face in the audience, even the people standing at the far wall or by the door.
I’d have noticed if a man of his size had been there.
But more than that, the more the excitement and nerves wore off from this presentation, the more what happened this morning bothered me.
Yes I’d pushed him to show his hand. But he’d just stopped cold, which made me feel like some desperate, wanton temptress who’d tricked him into making out with me, when he’d been there too.
I knew it wasn’t just me feeling a certain way.
He was lying to himself and to me. And he wasn’t using his words to tell me why.
I gripped the whiteboard marker in my hand. It didn’t matter. This presentation was the point of this weekend. That and the conversations I’d already had this morning, with several promising job leads. This was why I was here, and I’d killed it.
Fuck Jamie, once and for all.
Even if he’d helped get me here.
At least two dozen hands had shot up in response to my question. I pointed to a woman in the middle of the crowd. “Go ahead.”
“When you called what can happen to women on some of these job sites abuse,” she said, “it made me feel angry and… vindicated too.”
I nodded. “That’s why I’m so passionate about this work. Getting more women into trades normalizes women’s safety. We need to be able to do whatever work we choose in a supportive environment.”
The crowd applauded.
“I’m going to talk to my daughters about trades alongside other college options,” the woman said.
The room cheered this time. My heart sang.
My eyes honed in on Sam, one of the few men in the crowd. I’d been so happy to see his face in the front row when I first stepped up to the podium. He was waving his hand like an adorable school kid.
“Okay, Sam. How about you?”
Sam stood. “I’ll remember what you said about male allies. That we need to step in when we hear other men saying stuff on the job we’d never say to our wives and sisters and girlfriends.”
“Woo!” Several women cheered, and several more looked at him like he was some kind of hero for being there with all of them. I would have rolled my eyes, but I knew Sam was being genuine. He was an antidote to dicks everywhere.
I made my closing remarks, and when I was done, the crowd’s applause filled the room.
Just like Jamie said, I was swarmed with women telling me how my talk had inspired them, how they were going to go back to work next week thinking about how they could be a part of the change they wanted to see.
My stack of Heartbreaker Trades flyers disappeared fast. Several executives handed me their cards, too, telling me if I was ever looking for new opportunities to call them.
One woman in particular, in an expensive cream-colored suit and sweep of dark hair, cut through the crowd to shake my hand.
“Natasha, Empire Building.” Her smile was somehow both friendly and no-nonsense as we shook hands.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush, Sarah,” she said.
“I’ve been looking for precisely this type of innovative thinking at Empire.
I’m creating a new role focused on encouraging young women to join building industries.
Do you know about us? We build everything from eco-yurt villages to skyscrapers, focusing on sustainable materials and ethical employment practices. ”
“You’re speaking my language,” I said, trying to keep my cool. Of course I’d heard of Empire. They were huge, and they featured frequently in all my favorite design magazines.
Natasha handed me an embossed card thicker than a book cover.
“You’re exactly the person I’ve been looking for.
Do you like to travel? We’d be looking for someone up for regular travel—on our company jet, obviously.
We have offices in twenty cities stateside and a significant presence overseas, particularly in Europe and East Asia.
Japan, primarily. Of course, our salaries and benefits are outstanding, too. ”
I was stunned. I didn’t think I’d ever heard “Japan, primarily” uttered in a sentence, least of all from someone I think I was hearing wanted to hire me and send me there.
“Oh,” I said, too stunned for a moment for words.
But a thought came to me, one I’d had this morning, just minutes before Jamie pounded the living shit out of my door.
Out my hotel window were rolling hills thick with trees, and I’d been listening to the winter birdsong that woke me.
I remembered how when I first toured Quince Valley, I’d seen those cabins in the woods outside of town.
Whatever move I made, that’s what I wanted to do.
Wake up to the sound of birds. Sip coffee in utter peace on my front porch before heading to my workshop to build things. See more stars.
That and staying connected to Heartbreaker Trades was the life I envisioned this morning—the one that brought me peace when my thoughts had been so tumultuous for so long. Not jet-setting around the world.
But maybe I was looking in the wrong direction.
At first, all I could think to say was “Great.” Then I remembered what Jamie had said last night.
This is about you, Sarah. What you want to see happen.
Despite loathing Jamie being right once again, I met Natasha’s eye.
“We have some global plans for Heartbreaker that are deeply important to me, and that I can’t put on the back burner.
” I reminded her of the longer-range plans Winona and I had been working on I discussed in the talk.
Schools. Guidelines and policy for major contracting companies. Talks just like this one.
Natasha smiled warmly. “You wouldn’t have to give that up. In fact, Empire wants in.”
I felt dizzy.
“Unfortunately,” she said, “I’m catching a plane to Zurich tomorrow morning, so I won’t be able to chat further in person. Unless you’re able to meet first thing?”
We made arrangements to meet tomorrow morning, before the final day’s sessions began. Then she breezed out of the room, leaving me shell-shocked. Luckily, the next person in line just wanted to gush about how much they loved my talk.
I was beyond humbled. It had been an amazing day.
As the crowd thinned out, I realized I’d done exactly what I came here to do: I’d nailed my presentation, gotten a million sign-ups for Heartbreaker Trades, and, most pressingly, gotten exposed to a ton of job opportunities—one huge one in particular—that would take me far away from Jamie Reilly. I should have been elated. And I was.
Yet, that cloud still hung in the distance, dampening the joy I should have been reveling in.
A cloud that looked like a giant man with salt-and-pepper hair and dark blue eyes that always felt like they were penetrating my soul.
I swore I wasn’t going to let my brain be occupied by him anymore, and yet, here I was.
Fucking Jamie. This had to change. And it would, thanks to Natasha, if it worked out. So why wasn’t I happier?