Chapter 28
Moment of Truth
SARAH
The second set of double doors slid open as I reached the lobby. Jamie was there, not a hair out of place.
He was greeted by two security guards who’d just run past me.
He hadn’t seen me.
I willed myself to breathe.
As much as I hated to admit it given how pissed I was, I couldn’t stop staring.
He looked gorgeous. There was no other word for it.
The white of his shirt accentuated the wide plane of his chest, and the sleeves of his shirt stretched neatly across his biceps as he readjusted his cufflinks, like tossing that guy out into the snow was something that barely affected him.
But I saw the way pink crept up his collar.
I saw the flare in his nostrils. He was still pissed. Pissed and absolute sex on a stick.
I gritted my teeth, hating how attractive he was right now.
His effect on me was completely unfair. When I’d first seen Jamie at the bar, I’d had to physically rip my eyes away from him.
He’d looked incredible. And when he’d been talking to that stunning woman?
Jealousy had ripped through me, hot and unwanted.
But the next time I’d looked, through a crowd of people, he’d been on his own again, his eyes scanning the dance floor.
Then this bullshit. I was about to call security on the drunken asshole who’d glued himself to my side myself. I couldn’t understand why he’d been so focused on me until I heard Jamie say his name.
I knew of Gary. Everyone at Reilly knew of Gary, even though technically the reason for his abrupt firing was supposed to be private. But every woman knew. Every woman also knew that if Jamie saw Gary again he’d probably do something that would land him in prison.
That, more than Jamie taking over, where I could have looked after myself, was why furious heat coursed through my veins.
Jamie looked like he’d cooled down a little from how rage-filled he’d been on the dance floor. But only a little.
A moment later, the security guards shook his hand, then walked away.
It was then that he saw me.
When his eyes locked on me, my body threatened to betray me.
I felt like butter melting in a hot pan.
And I felt the strangest flash of entirely unhumble pride too.
Jamie didn’t look at anyone else the way he was looking at me.
If I was on the outside, I’d swoon. Only I wasn’t. And I was still furious.
My heels clicked on the marble as I strode purposefully right toward him.
Normally, I’d try not to walk so hard, to soften my stride and shrink.
But not now. Not anymore. I stopped a few feet away from him, angling my face up to his.
A cold wind blew inside as a couple entered the lobby, laughing and leaning into each other.
My hair lifted off my neck, goosebumps rippling over my bare skin.
I barely noticed. I just waited until they passed before I said, “I told you I could have handled that asshole on my own. I was about to head out to security to get him kicked out.”
He didn’t even blink. “You don’t need security, Sarah.”
“Why not?”
“You’ve got me.”
I ignored the tingling that danced over my skin at that.
“Did you hit him?” I didn’t see blood on his hands, but who knew—Jamie could have slapped him around. Used his knee. Done some jiu-jitsu shit.
“No. And that storm’s coming in. He won’t be back.”
Relief splashed over me that there would be no pending assault charge from that asshole—and that he wouldn’t come stumbling back in the doors.
But it had been close. And Jamie didn’t have to involve himself. “Did you think I couldn’t handle myself?” I asked.
“You have to know if it was anyone else I would have stepped back. But Gary and I have a history. And it was you.”
“What do you mean, me?”
He made a low sound of frustration. “Sarah. You have to know what I mean.”
My pulse skipped up. “No, Jamie. You haven’t been good at using your words since the first day we met. So please elucidate me.”
Jamie’s nostrils flared. “Really Sarah? You want me to say it?”
“Fucking say what’s on your mind, Jamie, I’m begging you. And no more bullshit.”
Jamie took a step toward me. If it were anyone else, he might look menacing. But I wasn’t scared of Jamie. The opposite. Jamie never made me feel anything but completely safe. The realization caught me off guard. But not more than his next words, which came in a low rumble from his chest.
“Okay then, Sarah. If it had been anyone else all over you like that, I might have been able to step back and let you take care of it yourself. But I would not have walked away, because I will not ever walk away from you when you’re in any kind of danger. And if you’d—”
Jamie cut himself off, running a hand over his jaw.
“If I’d what?” I demanded, half furious still, and half breathless with the need for him to finish that sentence.
“If you’d said a single word to me. If you’d told me you needed my help.
Hell, if you fucking looked at me, gave me any sign whatsoever—” He lifted a hand to his head, pressed a thumb to his eyebrow.
“Whatever you want Sarah. Whenever. I will always be in your corner. Okay? I’d fucking kill a man for looking at you wrong if you asked me to. ”
He looked away, knowing he’d said too much.
That was a completely unhinged thing for anyone to say, let alone my boss.
But it made me feel boneless. Mindless. Heavy with want. My heart clattered so hard in my chest I couldn’t breathe.
Then, so quickly I might have missed it if I wasn’t playing sentry on his eyes, he looked down at my dress.
He remembered. He knew this was the dress I’d worn that night in the wine bar, when I’d confessed my feelings to him.
Had I brought it on purpose, not knowing if I could wear it again?
Maybe. Did I put it on happily tonight, hoping it would make him squirm?
Probably. But did I expect this? He looked so… raw.
I will always be in your corner.
I raised my chin, needing desperately to regain control of this rapidly unravelling situation.
So I lashed out, with the sharpest weapon I had. “You weren’t in my corner in the wine bar, Jamie.”
The words were harsh, I knew. But they were at the core of my pain with him. Nothing else, not a whole year of ignoring me and giving me time only when he couldn’t avoid it. Not the grunting one-word answers to my most probing questions. None of it mattered except what had happened that night.
“Sarah,” Jamie warned.
But I was not backing away from this. Not this time. This was it. Do or die.
“Jamie,” I said. “Were you telling me the truth that night? That you didn’t think of me at all? If you say yes, I’ll walk out of your life forever. You’ll never have to see me again.”
The muscle on the side of Jamie’s jaw ticked. He didn’t want to answer.
He couldn’t.
I took a step toward him, my pulse running so hot I was worried I might stumble like I’d done with him before. But I didn’t.
“What if I told you that you’re never going to see me again anyway?” I asked, my voice low.
Jamie’s eyes locked on mine. “What are you talking about?”
“Consider this my resignation.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“You don’t get to tell me no. Not anymore. I don’t work for you as of right now. And if you say anything about two weeks’ notice, fucking forget it. If you don’t like it, you can fire me.”
I thought I knew every expression Jamie was capable of. But I’d never seen this one. He looked… feral.
I took another step. “So knowing that, maybe you can have the balls to finally admit…” I swallowed. Shelly. “To admit you’re at least a little attracted to me.”
I expected Jamie to snarl at me. To storm off. To tell me to fuck off and enjoy my new life.
Instead, Jamie laughed. At least, he barked out a sound that could have been a laugh. “Sarah fucking Cooper,” he breathed. “Did you just ask me if I was a little attracted to you?”
I faltered, suddenly mortified. Had I misread everything? No, I knew what had happened this morning, I—
Jamie reached for my hand. “Come with me,” he growled.
I was too shocked to resist. Jamie led me toward a corridor just off the giant Christmas tree next to us. It wasn’t even a question whether I’d follow. He might as well have thrown me over his shoulder.
I should have let go. I was supposed to be the one in charge here. But the rush of heat coursing through me at his touch—at the demand to follow him—was too much.
The moment we were in the empty hallway, he spun me around so my back was pushed up against the wall. Then he placed a hand next to my head and bent down so we were at eye level.
My blood rushed in my ears.
“When were you going to tell me?” he demanded.
“When I got an offer.”
“You don’t have one yet?”
I opened my mouth to tell him about Natasha.
But I shut it again. I didn’t want to use leverage.
I wanted him to tell me the truth even if I still worked for him.
I don’t know why I was holding onto this tiny scrap of stubbornness.
Maybe because I was still hurting from that moment he destroyed me.
The pain I felt in that glass room, when he told me he felt nothing for me, after seeing my ex-husband demonstrate how much happier he was without me?
Something broke in me that day.
“Answer my question, Jamie. I deserve to know.”
Jamie dropped his head, his arm now bracing him against the wall. “You’re right.”
His free hand reached toward my hip, but he stopped just short of touching me.
That gap was nearly intolerable. It sent want so thick and heavy through me I thought it would grow limbs; that it would reach out and press his hand against me.
“You said you thought I was a little attracted to you,” he rasped. Then he chuckled softly. But when he met my eyes, he wasn’t smiling.
“Sarah,” Jamie husked. “I can’t breathe around you. I can’t function when you’re near me.” His fingers finally grazed the velvet of my dress. Just a hair. Just enough to make me lose my mind and somehow feel like I hadn’t felt it at all.
I closed my eyes, unable to look at him. I was consumed.
“When you walk into a room,” Jamie said, “I forget the words I was in the middle of speaking. All rational thought drains from my head. Even when you’re not around, you’re there. Everywhere I look, all I see is you. You inhabit me, Sarah.”
When I opened my eyes again, there was so much pain in his I felt it in my chest. But that wasn’t the only thing there. I could also see heat in his gaze. I could feel that too. Like I was standing too close to the sun.
I blinked, trying to catch up with what this meant. I felt blindsided. Overwhelmed. Like my blood had been replaced with molten lava.
“What are you saying, Jamie?” I whispered.
Jamie’s eyes dropped to my lips. He gripped my jaw, touching my top lip with his thumb.
Alarm bells went off like a five-alarm fire.
But with each clang, something new hit.
He hates you.
Clang.
He’s attracted to you.
Clang.
He’s very, very attracted to you.
Clang.
He’s in—
“Sarah,” my boss said.
Former boss.
I held my breath, half wanting to hear it, half not. I didn’t think I could take it. I was pretty sure I was going to pool on the floor like slowly dropped silk.
“You’re right,” Jamie said finally. “I lied when I told you I didn’t think about you.
It was the biggest lie I ever told. I think about you with every breath.
From when I open my eyes in the morning to when I shut them at night.
I think about you in my fucking dreams, Sarah.
And that’s not a line. You torment me in my sleep. ”
My heart cracked open, my nose burning with the sting of threatened tears. But I couldn’t, wouldn’t cry. “So why?” I asked, my voice shaking, grasping onto the only thing I had left. “Why are you such an asshole to me and no one else?”
“Because if I wasn’t,” Jamie husked, “everyone would see the truth.”
“And what’s the truth, Jamie?”
He slid both hands in my hair. My eyes fluttered at the electricity of his touch.
“This,” he growled. Then he crushed his lips to mine.
With Jamie’s kiss, the rest of the world fell away. There was no there or them. Only here and us. Only this.
It was no chaste, exploratory kiss. This kiss was a full acquisition. An occupation. Jamie owned me with this kiss, the fire of his touch setting off liquid flames that roared through the fabric of my flesh. The sensation of his tongue against mine undid me, opening me fully to nothing but Jamie.
Jamie Jamie Jamie.
This. This was everything I’d wanted.
Jamie’s tongue probed my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck, melting against him, my whole body pulsing with need.
When he finally broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead against mine, his massive hand cupping the back of my head as if he needed to hold on to me to stay alive.
“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His voice was so low and deep I swore my chest vibrated.
In the lobby, someone laughed.
We should have separated. But it was as if there was magic strung between us; that golden tether I was sure we’d lost. If anything broke it now, we might never get it back.
“I almost gave up on you,” I whispered. I could have said I did give up on him. But I hadn’t, had I? This was what I’d hoped—prayed—was under all that pain.
Jamie gripped my head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, angel.” He kissed me again, this time with such tenderness tears broached my eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I broke the kiss this time, to meet his eyes. All I felt was contrast. Pain and relief. Anger and care.
I felt a sob shuddering up my spine. “You ruined me, Jamie.”
And then, this man dropped to his knees.