Chapter Twenty-Five
~AMELIA~
It’s the day that I’ve been dreading since I got injured.
The very first home game of the season where I cannot play.
I knew this was coming. The fridge has a game schedule on it and this particular date, this particular game against the Seattle Reign has been haunting me.
To the point where I almost do not want to go.
But I have to.
When I saw Coach Watts yesterday, I promised him that I would be there.
He told me that I could sit with him on the bench if I wanted to.
Jase made a similar offer. I have no idea where I’ll be sitting, I know it’s going to be hard watching the team go up against the Reign and not be out there fighting with them, where I belong.
I dressed in my Blaze warm-up pants and jersey. Tampa is experiencing a bit of a low in temperatures. Right now, it’s only getting into the low seventies, which is a nice break from the recent humid and hot temperatures. I’ll take it. My uniform since I’m injured is a lot more comfortable this way.
Of course, Dex had to drive me to the stadium.
I told him I could do it, but he insisted.
So now, I’m waiting on the sidelines while the team is warming up and the coaches are in a huddle, going over game strategy.
I’ve heard them mention on more than one occasion that it may take two players to fill my spot.
One starting out and then eventually getting subbed to allow for another one to take over.
It makes me feel good to know that it takes that much to replace me on the field.
But the guilt of not being available to help my team is still there.
I wonder if that will ever go away. Or if I should reach out and speak to the therapist that August has mentioned on more than one occasion.
“Amelia,” I hear Jase call to me. “Is it easier for you to come here? Or should we come to you?”
“I can come to you. It’ll do me good to stretch a bit.
” I rise and grab the crutches to begin my scoot over to where they are all standing.
There’s a whiteboard that they are all standing in front of, moving the pieces around to set a proper lineup for tonight’s match.
I’ve haven’t ever seen them put this together.
Normally, I’m warming up when this occurs and my spot doesn’t ever change, so I never pay too much attention to it.
“We’re looking at Felicia and Ariana to cover the Center Back position. What do you think?” Watts asks me. “Do you think they can handle it?”
“Umm, yeah, sure. I think.” I look at the board and see that no other changes were made.
“You doing okay?” Andie asks me, coming over to stand at my side. “Do you want me to give you a job during the game?”
I shake my head, feeling like a small child. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m going to sit on the bench and watch.”
“You’re welcome to sit with the coaches,” Watts reminds me.
Although, they don’t sit a lot. It’s not that our coaches are directing us and playing joystick soccer, where they continuously tell us where to send the ball.
The yelling is a bare minimum too. Only a few words of direction if they see something that is drastically off, or praise when we do something well.
But they never sit. I feel like it might be nerves.
So, I know sitting with them is pointless.
My view would be blocked most of the time.
“I think I’ll grab a spot at the end. For some of the game, it will be closer to the defense.” I tell them.
“Sounds good. Just remember, we don’t mix messages,” Coach Watts warns.
“I won’t give direction, only encouragement,” I promise.
He pats my shoulder. “I know you won’t. Are you feeling okay? How has the pain been?”
“I’m doing well, it’s getting better. I think the swelling has finally started to go down so that should help too. But no surgery, so that’s good.”
“That’s good. I was so happy to hear that. Dex has been keeping us apprised of how you’re doing at home. It’s kind of nice how you two ended up having to share an apartment, for now.” Watts smiles at me, pleased with this outcome.
I steal a glance at Jase and see that he’s grinning at me. Of course, Cassie told him.
“Yeah, it’s been great,” I reply, hoping not to spark any suspicion.
“I’m sure it has been,” Jase grins at me.
I shoot him a glare that goes unmentioned by Watts and Andie.
“I’m going to head out there and work with the defense for a bit. Get them used to the new players who are coming in,” Watts says, heading off to the field.
“I’ll come with you,” Andie says, jogging to catch up to Coach Watts.
“So, things are going so well at home now, huh?” Jase wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“I hate you so much, and your fucking girlfriend for telling you about it,” I tell him, shaking my head.
“No, you don’t. You love us both.”
“Her more than you,” I remind him.
“Oh, I know. But seriously, how bad can it be? The rule against fraternization has been lifted. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks or says about you? Let your feet doing the talking out there on that pitch. That is the only thing that matters. The rest of it is gravy.” He pats me warmly on the shoulder. “Think about it.”
“Gravy, huh?”
“Gravy,” he replies, his English accent thicker when he’s speaking lowly. “This life of football isn’t worth it all. At the end of the day, you need someone in your life you care about. Maybe Dex is that person.”
“Maybe,” I say, fidgeting on my crutches. “Do you think, though, with the divorce, that he’s ready?”
He sighs. “Only he knows that.”
I nod. I start to reply but Dex chooses that moment to materialize out of thin air.
“What are you two scheming about over here?” he teases, coming up to us.
“Nothing at all. Just making sure she was okay before the game in all,” Jase tells him, which isn’t a complete lie. But I’m glad he didn’t tell him the full truth. “But now that you’re here I’m going to leave her with you. Your turn to keep her company.”
“Sounds good,” Dex replies. “Everyone good so far?”
Jase nods, “Yeah, we haven’t heard anything different, and Carrie seems to be doing better with her calf, so we’ll see.”
“Great, well, I’ll be out here if you guys need anything.”
The two men bump fits and Jase heads on out to the pitch to warm up the goalies.
“How are you doing? How are you really doing?” he asks me, now that it’s only us.
I look over at him and force a smile. “I’m okay, but this is going to be tough. I want to be out there with these girls so bad. They need me.”
He pulls me into a side hug, carefully, keeping me balanced on my crutches.
I feel his lips press to my temple; he holds them there.
I relax into him and let him hold me. It’s everything that I’ve been needing and wanting since I got to the field.
Sure, my teammates have all given me hugs and high-fives but there’s something about being in Dex’s arms that is so comforting and safe.
If I didn’t feel so sure about the man he is, it might scare me.
“Thank you,” I mumble, finally pulling back to look at him. “I really needed that.”
He grins at me. “I’m happy to do whatever you need, peach. Just know that I’m here for you. And I’m going to stay by your side throughout this whole game. You and me; we’ll watch this match together.”
“What if you have to sprint out onto the field again?” I tease him, remembering the way he came out there for me, faster than any trainer I’ve ever worked with.
“Well, I walk respectfully out there and attend to the injured. But no bridal carries today. I will wait for the cart. I wouldn’t want there to be any question with the media whose white knight I’m interested in being.” He winks at me, and I swear I melt on the spot.
“Okay.” It is one word which doesn’t feel like enough after what he confessed but it’s all I can manage.
“Okay,” he repeats, leaning in so quickly for a kiss that I barely feel it on my lips. “We should get seated; the warm-ups are about to end. And then it’ll be show time.”
I nod. “Yeah, let’s get seated.”
I make my way past the spots on the benches where the subs will be seated, waiting for their opportunity to go into the game. I stop when we reach the end, where Dex and Lucas usually sit.
“Let’s get you comfy here,” Dex says, getting ready to assist me with my crutches once I’m seated. He pulls a backpack off his back that I hadn’t noticed before and sets it down beside him. “I brought you some snacks and your favorite Gatorade, hoping to make this game more enjoyable.”
“How do you know my favorite Gatorade?” I ask him.
He chuckles. “Are you kidding me, the only thing in our fridge is the zero-sugar purple kind. How could I not pick out your favorite flavor? And I’ve noticed that in a pinch, when you can’t have grape, you take the orange.
Which is weird because orange always reminds me of the hospital for some reason. ”
I laugh. “Yeah, well, sometimes we don’t have the purple here, so the orange is all I have to work with.”
“Well, maybe I should make sure that Watts fixes that moving forward.” He grins at me.
“No, please don’t do that. No special treatment,” I warn him.
He chuckles. “Fine, I’ll make sure that we have plenty at home and also in the fridge in my office, so you’re never far from your favorite flavor.”
I blush, the way this man has already gone out of his way to take care of me, keeps catching me by surprise, but I love it. “You really are something else.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I have no idea how someone could leave him, but I don’t say it. He feels responsible for the divorce, whatever caused it, so I don’t want to poke the bear.
“Are you comfortable? Is there anything else that you need?” he asks, after he takes his seat beside me.
“No, I’m okay.” But I feel anything but okay. It’s sinking in that this game is about to begin and I won’t be out there. I can’t be. And I knew this coming to the stadium today. I’m in no condition to play. But this is harder than I thought it would be.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, breathing in and out slowly. Then I do it again and again. I feel him grab my hand and give it a squeeze.
“You’ve got this. I’ve got you,” he whispers lowly. “Just keep on breathing.”
“I know, I know.” I can tell that my voice sounds anything but sure. There’ a tremble to it and I’m biting on my lip to keep myself from shedding a tear.
Dex pulls me to this side, holding me close, while letting me watch the announcements of the starting lineup.
I cheer and clap for the team because I’m not going to be petty.
But a part of me is dying inside that I’m not out there with them.
But I make it through, with only a tear or two sliding down my cheek.
Dex surprises me by reaching out and wiping the tears away. “Let’s not let them see you cry. It’s going to be okay,” he whispers and I believe him.
By the time the whistle blows to mark the start of the game, I have composed myself and I’m pretty sure that no one has noticed the tears.
“Here, what if we start out with these, peach?” He hands me a bag of sour peach rings. “I thought they would be most appropriate for you.”
I giggle. “I love these, thanks. How did you know?”
“I’ve noticed the sour candies hanging around the house. So, it wasn’t hard to figure out that pretty much anything I could find that was gummy and sugary would be right up your alley.”
“Well, thank you. I appreciate the sentiment.”
“You’re welcome. I’d do anything for you,” he says as leans over and kisses my cheek.
I stare at him for a moment, unable to look back at the game even though everyone on the bench is cheering hard. I think we might be about to score.
“Are you for real?” I ask him.
He smirks and nods, “Yeah, I’m for real. I promise you that.”
Somehow I believe him. Something in me tells me that he is telling me the truth and that my heart is safe with Dexter Langley.
The Blaze ended up scoring on that play, but I missed it.
I don’t care, though; I wouldn’t change the moment I spent staring into those beautiful green eyes, knowing I am safe.
I survived the game because of that man. We ended up with a win, which made the night even sweeter.