6. Empty House
CHAPTER 6
EMPTY HOUSE
DELILAH
I completely avoided the talk Miles wanted to have, and now he’s busy with practices and hockey.
Nothing technically happened between us, and it could have just been an argument. Tensions get high. I’ve had a few of them in my life and things pass.
“Lilah! Look!”
I turn to see Lola pointing at a panda bear on the screen of the new toy, which is a huge hit.
“That’s a panda bear, Lola.” I repeat what the voice is saying, and the little girl claps happily. She loves all kinds of bears. “Maybe we’ll go to a zoo, and you can see one in person.”
There’s a zoo in Denver and it’s not that far. We can make a day of it and get out of this house. It feels empty without Miles in it.
He is such a presence here, both physically and mentally, for me. We’ve been avoiding each other as much as possible, but I know when Miles is around.
Right now, he’s at one of many tough practices to get everyone working together. I have watched Andrew go through it for years and I know that most of the time Miles is home, he’ll be getting what time he can with Lola before passing out.
Wasn’t I looking forward to this day? Hell, I prepared for it.
Lola is on a schedule, and it works for everyone. She’s sleeping like a dream at night, and I make sure she’s active and learning throughout the day. I get my breaks at night and when she naps, though she seems to be getting away from them.
Lola is growing fast, and I smile at her.
The phone rings. I see it’s Miles’s mom and answer it.
“Hey, Linda. How are you?” I lean back on the couch and relax.
“Are you holding up with that busy granddaughter of mine? She must be running you ragged.”
“We’re doing good. She’s busy, but it makes me sleep great at night.”
That’s a bit of a lie. I think about how empty the house is and I miss Miles even after I pushed him away.
“I can imagine. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight and take a break from cooking?”
Miles’s family is incredible, and they’ve been so helpful with Lola. It helps that they know Andrew as well and love my brother for some strange reason.
“We can do that. Can I bring anything?”
“Just you and my granddaughter.”
I choose Lola’s favorite purple dress and we head to the house for dinner that afternoon. Though I wasn’t asked to bring anything, I helped Lola pick out a beautiful bouquet on the way.
“You shouldn’t have.” Linda opens the door to the flowers that are almost bigger than Lola, smiling at me.
“What? I did nothing.”
I follow Lola into the house, inhaling the scent of pot roast greedily. It is everyone’s favorite meal that Linda cooks across the board, and I can’t wait to eat.
“Yum. That smells amazing and the guys will hate you for not inviting them.”
Linda laughs and looks at me with a tilt of her head and a soft smile. Miles takes after her and Lola has her hair.
“I’ll have leftovers for you to take home for both. They’re pushing themselves hard, as always.”
“I’ve barely seen them. Miles will appreciate the food a lot and Andrew will come over for it, even if he’s sleepwalking.” I look at her as she nods with a proud smile. “Has Miles always worked this hard at hockey?”
“He started with football, but a friend got him on the ice and that was that. Miles was always athletic, of course. Lola is busy, just like he was when he was a kid. But he took to the ice and hockey immediately, and I was a hockey mom.”
I love her smile when I look at her.
“That’s Andrew. He skipped all sports and went right to hockey, but it was the same deal for my mom. I went to a lot of practices and games as a kid.” The memories of me complaining make me laugh as I follow her into the kitchen.
Linda gets me some lemonade and we sit on the couch near Lola as she plays with toys she brings out of her grandmother’s room, causing a mess.
“Is it good at the house? He’s not being a caveman about her?”
Linda knows her son well and has been strongly on my side since she met me.
“He’s calmed down a lot, but it was a rough start. I get it and it’s nice to see someone caring so much about their child, especially a man like Miles. He’s so protective.” I laugh to lessen the meaning behind my words.
“He was when she was born. Right from the start, and it made me so proud, Delilah. They didn’t make it as a couple, but he was so focused on Lola when he spent time with her. That little girl never doubted how her dad felt about her and never will.” Linda looks at Lola. “When Kim died, it changed Miles, but he turned it into strength for him to be a single father. We all helped him, but Miles was amazing. I know how hard it was to look for a nanny, but he’s so lucky to have you.”
“Thank you.”
“Miles can rest well knowing you’re in charge of Lola. He throws himself hard into the season and I suspect he worried that might not happen this time around. Sure, he doesn’t have to play and can live just fine, but hockey is in his blood. Miles is young and deserves to get every accolade out of his career that he can.”
“I’d say the same about Andrew minus being a dad. They’re a great team out there.”
“You haven’t been to a lot of games over the last few years because of college, right?”
That is when Miles started with the team and got to know my brother. I wasn’t a big part of it, being away doing my thing, and didn’t see as many games as I wanted to.
“Unfortunately. School took a lot of my time, and I was trying to get experience as much as I could. I went to a few and met Miles a couple of times, but most of that time was spent giving Andrew a hard time. He deserved it after being such a mama bear with me.” I smile and Linda laughs.
“That will never change. He’s watchful over you, Delilah. I think they’ll both be like that with Lola. Poor girl.”
We both laugh and I try to imagine the future.
“No guys will get anywhere near Lola.” I look at the little girl with a smile. “She will hold her own just fine, though. We’re all going to teach her to take care of herself and with that sass, she’s already on the way there.”
“Amen!”
There are enough leftovers to feed an army, and I stack the Tupperware in the fridge after Lola is tucked into bed. I leave a note for Miles and assume he went to sleep since we weren’t here.
On the way to my room, I look at the calendar with his schedule. Their first home game is in three days, and there’s one more before they leave for a week. I already ordered Lola a tiny little jersey representing Miles to wear during games, both at home and at the arena. She’s Miles’s biggest fan, though Lola doesn’t know it yet.
I have a few jerseys with Andrew’s name on them that I’ve collected for years. They’re well-worn and loved, and I hope Lola feels the same way about the ones she’ll wear over the years.
In the morning, I saw that Miles had been awake and eaten some food since there’s a plate in the sink. Going to the basement door, I listen for music. He has soundproofed the basement for his long workout sessions.
There’s rock music playing, and I know he’s home. I close the door and get breakfast for Lola, starting our day. She’s happy after a good night’s sleep and when the basement door opens and Miles enters the kitchen, Lola calls for her daddy.
I step back and let them have their time, trying not to look at Miles too closely in his loose shorts and fitted, sweat-soaked t-shirt. It hides nothing and I take my coffee into the kitchen to fuss over nothing, asking him if he’s hungry.
“I had a ton of that pot roast when I woke up. Mom made enough for an army, as usual.”
“There’s some for Andrew if you can tell him today.” I know he has practice in a couple of hours. “Holding up okay?”
“We’re getting a lot of good work in. This is valuable even when it feels like it’s killing me sometimes. The new guys are getting the hang of things.”
He’s sexy when he talks about the sport. It’s something I’d never say about my brother, but Miles looks good when he talks about something he loves. After working out? He’s making a mess of me inside.
“Good. That’s the plan. Right?”
“It sure is. How’s Lola been?” I see him looking sadly at her and know Miles misses her.
“She’s good. We’ve been sticking to the schedule, and she’s loving everything. Lola asks for you a lot, but I just tell her you’re at work and will be home soon. She’s still young.”
Lola eats a piece of strawberry and hits Miles’s hand to get his attention since he’s looking towards me. Towards me, not at me.
“Am I ignoring you, bug? Poor baby.” Miles leans over to kiss her soft hair and I melt inside.
Later that night, when Lola is in bed, I am on the phone with Allison. Miles could be home anytime, but I don’t want to hover around the house.
“How is it being a hockey widow?”
“Hockey widow? I’m just the nanny, Allison. I think it’s harder on Lola than it is for me.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, you don’t miss him at all?”
“I am alone with a kid all day, so that’s a little lonely. Luckily, his family is a big help and mine steps in a lot. I don’t miss him like some sad little girlfriend would.”
“You guys never talked about the near kiss, Delilah. Why did you blow that off when he tried?”
Allison will never let that go.
“Nothing to say. We didn’t kiss, and I got out of the kitchen and now I am still the nanny. Problem solved.”
“Are you going to the first game? Do you have one of his jerseys?”
“I am taking Lola to the game, and we’ll be with his family. She’ll wear his name, but why would I? I have about a million jerseys with my last name for Andrew.”
“You live there and interact with the man when the women that watch him play know nothing about Miles. They dream of being you.”
“Is this another hot nanny plot, Allison?”
“There are tons, but you live there and almost kissed him. Tell me there's been no tension between you since that happened. Have your feelings just drifted away?”
I talk to Allison too much and she knows me better than anyone, including my family.
“There were never feelings, Allison. It was just a moment and we’re long past it. Miles is lost in hockey and any spare time he has goes to Lola and his family. I’m just here to keep the schedule going for Lola.”
“You keep telling yourself that, Del. I can’t wait until you break.”