9. Shifting
CHAPTER 9
SHIFTING
MILES
I t felt great to be on the ice again and winning the game was the icing on the cake. All the strenuous practices and working with the team paid off. Andrew and I have our chemistry in spades and together we scored three goals.
I wasn’t sure if Delilah would bring Lola to the game since Kim always made it seem like it would be too difficult of a process. My mom probably made my ex the same offer she did Delilah several times since she tried to work with Kim for the sake of Lola, but that was always turned down. They have great seats and can see everything, but it was never good enough for Kim.
Nothing seemed to be when I look back at that time. She was always asking for more money despite my generous child support.
It made me smile when I saw Lola in Delilah’s arms at the glass, calling my name. The little jersey she was wearing was the cutest sweater I’ve ever seen, and her hair had ribbons with the team colors, which made the moment even more special for me. I felt like a king when I talked to my daughter through the glass and slipped her a puck as fans looked on with envious glances towards Delilah and Lola.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
When I had to go back to the team and the two walked away, I felt resentment that it was Delilah’s last name on her jersey. Of course, she’s going to represent her brother, but how would it feel to have a woman wear my name that I have true feelings for?
Wait. I can’t have feelings for her.
I focused on the game as always, noting every player on the ice and taking passes to get us closer to a win. Andrew and I managed three of the five winning goals and I got an assist and two of them.
I still looked over several times to see my family sitting with Delilah and her family, each one spending time with my daughter. I’d never expect to come home and have a three-year-old tell me everything about the sport, but seeing her there meant a lot to me. Lola seemed to have a great time, and it made me hope for more games where she’d be cheering me on.
I also saw how much junk everyone spoiled her with, but I let that go. Lola loves food and even I enjoy junk food more often than I want to admit. Knowing Delilah, they ate something healthy for dinner to curb the temptation of treats at the game.
I kept Andrew in my mind every time I stole a glance towards Delilah, seeing her watching the game with a wide smile on her face. It’s in her blood like it is for my family and that turns me on, making me think about how cold it is in the arena for a long moment.
I have a lot of female fans watching in person and on screens all over the world. I’m not blind to that, but it’s never meant as much to me as it does to have Delilah watching me. She might watch Andrew the most, like her parents, but I’d like to think she focused on me. Maybe it’s watching her with my daughter that gets under my skin, touching my soul in ways I don’t want to admit.
I sure as hell haven’t let any woman not related to me near my daughter for most of her life, apart from her mother.
It is the first game, and the win doesn’t get us a spot in the finals, but it’s going to be great morale for the team, especially the new players. The celebration in the dressing room is epic and I congratulate every one of the guys right beside our captain.
I know Lola is well taken care of and I can do this with little worry. Delilah is amazing on her own, but my family and hers are behind her for support and that reassures me that much more. I’m also surprised at how special it was to have Lola at the game and to see the light in her beautiful eyes. More than that, I could see how comfortable she was with Delilah.
There’s the press after the private team celebration and I feel like I did a million interviews about how we got the win. I’ll never complain, but a big part of me wants to get home and see Lola. The guys want to grab dinner at a place that gives us a private room in the late hours, and I grudgingly agree, knowing I can’t tell Andrew that I want to get home and see his sister. He knows Lola will be asleep, so what other reason would I have to rush home?
The food is decent but I’m happy to head home even though it’s approaching midnight. We’re spared of a morning practice tomorrow so most of the guys will sleep in and a little celebration tonight suited the win. I always get up and work out at home, so it doesn’t change my routine, but that’s not the reason I am hurrying home.
I walk into the house and it’s dark except for a glow in the living room. When I go in to see what it is, I see Delilah sleeping on the couch in front of a movie I doubt she watched. She looks too comfortable in sleep, and I smile before covering her with a blanket. There’s no reason to wake her up.
I check on Lola and see that she’s still in her jersey. Getting it off without waking her up would be hard and that’s not something you want to risk with her energy. I kiss her hair and tell her I love her, walking to the door, when I see the puck on her dresser.
Making a quick decision, I go to my office to get a sharpie and mark the date on the logo so we can remember this forever. She’ll have a collection, but I want my daughter to know when I gave her these mementos of our life together.
When the hell did I get so sappy?
I go to put the marker away and open a closet in the office, surveying the pile of folded jerseys. They all have my name on them, and I keep them for friends and family that need one. Slipping one out, I check the size and carry it to the couch.
“Sorry, buddy.” I whisper an apology to Andrew as I fold his and place my jersey on top of the pile. Delilah might never wear it out of loyalty to her brother, but I really want her to have it. It’s something to remember me by.
I wanted to come home to laughter and activity, but that isn’t the life of an NHL player most of the time. I secure the locks on the doors and windows and set the alarm from my phone before heading to my bedroom.
It’s difficult to fall asleep even after a crazy night and food, so I toss and turn. This adrenaline never goes away, and it still feels like my first pro game every time I get out on the ice. Seeing my family there is always great, but Lola’s smile and Delilah’s happiness is something I never want to forget.
What the hell will I do when I have a hotel room I share with Andrew? At least the girls are just down the hall from me tonight.
I don’t set an alarm and wake up well after sunrise, listening for sounds in the house. There’s faint laughter outside and I assume they’re on the swing set. I check the window before heading into the bathroom. Lola is giggling as Delilah pushes her to the moon, as Lola likes to say. I have no doubt my daughter ate breakfast, and she’s safe and happy.
I walk into the kitchen for some coffee and step outside to watch Lola. Delilah looks over at me and freezes for a moment as I stare at her, making me wonder what’s wrong. I glance down and see that I am only in the shorts I wore to bed. I didn’t think when I came out of my room, but it made me wonder why Delilah wouldn’t stop staring at me.
Does she want me like I want her?
Eventually, I call out that I’ll be in the gym and Delilah nods stiffly before returning her attention to Lola. I make it a long workout, making the exercise strenuous on my body, so I’ll keep the strength I had last night on the ice.
That’s what I tell myself, at least.
I’m drenched in sweat for two hours and drinking water in large gulps. Rock music plays through the room for focus, and I close my eyes, enjoying the stretch of my muscles. I studied early on the best way to treat my body for resilience and just plain self-care, learning everything I could through mentors.
I get a certain jolt of accomplishment when I think about the way Delilah stared at me this morning. There’s a shower downstairs, so I use it, working my cock under the spray until I come all over the shower wall. I hope this is always enough for me because I’ll never have my nanny the way I want her.
I slip on a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt so as not to distract Delilah too much before heading upstairs. They’re inside having a snack and I sit with Lola and ask her about the game. It’s a very simple answer, but the joy she conveys to me is enough to make me smile and I hold her in my lap as she babbles on.
“She was good?” I look at Delilah as she cleans up.
“Oh, yeah. We played pass the toddler throughout the game, so everyone got their time to lose their minds at that win. That and the popcorn, nachos, candy and who knows what else from the snack bar. You guys did an amazing job. I never noticed how well you play with Drew until last night.”
“We’ve always had a weird thing on the ice. Like we’re psychic to each other or something. I have never made sense of it, but it works.”
“I’d say so with three goals together.” Delilah smiles and looks away from me and Lola.
“The jersey means everything to me. Thanks.”
“I couldn’t help myself. As she grows, I’ll replace them, but you’ll probably want to keep the outgrown ones. Memories, and maybe for her own kid down the line?”
“Don’t even think about that.” I scowl and Delilah laughs.
“It’s probably going to happen eventually, Miles.”
I hear the teasing in her voice but shudder at the idea of my baby growing up.
“She’s never dating. No man will ever be good enough for Lola.”
“You sound like Drew with me. I lived a little in college just because I had some freedom.”
Delilah giggles, but I feel jealousy washing over my skin in an ice cold wave at the idea of her with any other man. There’s a part of me that wants to demand every detail, but didn’t she just point out how overprotective her brother is?
What reason do I have to care? None.
“I hope there’s nothing illegal in your past. That might be a cause to fire you.”
I try to make it a joke but feel her eyes on me. I’d never fire Delilah, but I had to form my thoughts into something. It’s too bad it came out sounding like that.
“Want to do a background check on me?” I meet her eyes at her question and see she’s arching a brow at me.
In a way, I would, but I shake my head with a chuckle, showing I was joking with her as I look down at Lola to center myself.