15. Hazel
FIFTEEN
Hazel
A few more days have passed since I moved in with Easton, and the only good thing I can say about a concussion and color-changing black eye is that they’ve helped me to keep my distance.
I promised Olivia I’d be careful, and in so doing, I’d promised myself.
But every moment in Easton’s house makes it so goddamn hard to keep that promise.
Little touches, glances, and inside jokes, we’re falling back into patterns with all of them. Easton has been welcoming and not pushy in the slightest, which could have actually made it easier to resist him.
But he’s been a fucking gentleman, except during the rare moments when he feels like he needs to remind the world that we’re together.
Except we’re not. At least…we’re not supposed to be. Not for real. But every now and then, I get the feeling that both of us are struggling with that.
And I don’t know what that means.
I wanted what happened in the bedroom when I got here. Hell, I know I practically begged for it, and I can’t stop thinking about it whenever we’re close.
The way his lips felt on mine, the feeling of his body towering over me as he settled between my thighs…
I have to forcibly pull myself out of my thoughts. It is so not the time to be thinking about all this, and I shouldn’t even want it anyway.
Easton is supposed to be my boss, maybe my friend, but dating him? For real? What’s going to stop him from pulling the breaks when things get serious again?
What’s there to stop Easton from breaking my heart and leaving me alone— again ?
Oh, and let’s not forget that I also have a trafficker sending people to hunt me down. Can’t let that little nugget slip by.
My life is far too complicated for dating, and although it may not seem as important in the grand scheme of things, I also have a book on deadline right now.
It’s already taken a hit thanks to the hospital stay, and I can’t let my readers down. I won’t.
Why does he have to be so damned charming…and attractive?
I sigh, looking over at Jade asleep on the couch. It’s only about 1:30 in the afternoon, but she’s sacked out with the movie still running.
We did a lot of playing in the backyard now that I’m officially cleared for “vigorous activity” again. Apparently, it really hit Jade hard.
The downside, of course, is that I’ve been sitting here arguing with myself in my head for the past twenty minutes.
Standing, I reach for the remote on the coffee table to turn down the volume. I know if I just shut off the TV, Jade will wake up, and she deserves the rest.
Hunger gnaws at my belly, so I decide to grab a snack from the kitchen to tide me over until dinner. As I reach into the fridge and pull out the watermelon slices we bought this weekend, I glance at the clock.
Easton has been in his home office all day so far. He’s been working really hard for a client that has a court date coming up.
She’s testifying against her ex-boyfriend, apparently, and Easton has been diligently ensuring that he has all his bases covered when he escorts her to and from the courthouse.
My heart warms at the thought. Not everyone would take on a job with such responsibility, but Easton seems like such a natural at it.
Cold, crisp watermelon slides down my throat, the juices running over my chin, when I see the coffee pot out of the corner of my eye.
I bet he’d appreciate a pick-me-up.
In no time, I’ve prepared a cup of coffee just the way Easton likes it, and I walk down the hall to the office to bring it to him.
Knocking gently, I wait for him to answer, the handle of the mug hot in my grip.
“Come in.”
Opening the door, I give Easton a smile and raise the cup of joe. “Thought you might like some.”
Easton perks up from behind his desk, a grin stretching over his face, covered in a thicker five-o’clock shadow than usual.
“Thanks, Haze. That sounds great, actually.”
I walk forward and deposit the cup on his desk. Easton pulls it closer, lifting it to his lips and taking a drink with an exaggerated sigh.
“Oh, fuck. That’s amazing.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “Dude, it’s just coffee. You’ve been in here for too long. How’s it coming.”
Sighing, Easton sets the cup down and leans back in his chair. His eyes find the screen of his computer, and I can see the wheels spinning in his head as he considers the work he’s done.
“Well, I know basically everything about the guy Karla’s testifying against. I think I’ll be prepared when the time comes to escort her to the trial.
I’m not sure how many days she’ll be needed, though.
The one, of course, but she could be called back, which makes things a little tricky, seeing as Billings is a little over an hour away. ”
“An hour isn’t bad. You could pull off a last-minute trip as long as you have a little bit of notice, right?”
“Yeah. Just thinking about Jade.” Easton turns from his computer to me, the corner of his mouth lifting up. “At least I have you to help make sure she’s looked after. I just…I don’t love the idea of leaving you alone either.”
“I’ll be fine, Easton. We’d stay here, and I’d turn on all the fancy security stuff.”
He offers a tiny laugh before reaching for his coffee again and swallowing down several gulps of the liquid caffeine.
“I still can’t believe that you wound up in private security after the military. I mean, I guess it makes sense and all, but I’m surprised you didn’t want to do something completely different. Cut yourself a break.”
Easton shrugs, staring into the middle distance. “Protecting people is what I’m good at. Why fight it?”
My chest pinches at the thought that Easton only sees himself as a means of protection. He has value outside of that.
“How’d you end up in the military again? I remember something about your parents, but?—”
“I was trying to make them proud. To show them that I was worth paying attention to, especially since the field I was going into was so dangerous.” His stare is cold when he looks back up at me again. “It didn’t work.”
Grief washes over me, and from out of nowhere, I remember the numerous times I tried to get my parents’ attention as a child.
It didn’t work for me either. Standing out from the drugged haze of euphoria they were always in was an insurmountable task.
“Unfortunately, parents are people. So they can be just as fucked up as anyone else. Having a kid doesn’t change that.”
Easton looks from his coffee cup to me, his brows knitting together. “I can’t imagine what it was like for you. To be dealing with parents in addiction.”
“Can’t say it was fun,” I offer sarcastically. “I wonder a lot what it would have been like to have parents that cared. But you know the old saying, wish in one hand…”
A snort leaves Easton as he finishes the adage, “…shit in the other. See which one fills up faster.”
We both laugh because if we don’t make a joke, if we don’t find the humor in the situation, we’ll cry. And neither of us wants that.
“I have to admit it’s nice to know that someone can relate.” Easton raises his mug in a pretend cheers, and I smile back, holding up my empty hand. “You know…when I’m with you…”
My heart throbs against my ribs, and I’m hanging on Easton’s words. Just like that, the air is so thick with tension and desperation that I almost feel dizzy.
“…I’ve never felt more like myself. You…see me.”
I'm surprised by Easton's admission, and for whatever reason, it strikes me to try to make him feel better.
I get up from my chair and walk over to where he sits behind his desk.
As I stand before him, I lay a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, “You're a good guy, Easton. I see how hard you're trying with Jade, with running your business. I want to do whatever I can to help because I know that you're working so hard, you know? So I brought you a coffee.”
Easton laughs, looking at the cup before polishing off the last drop and setting it back down.
“And it's a damn good coffee. I'll hand it to you.”
I realize that my hand is still on his shoulder. I haven't stopped standing next to him, and somehow, I've even managed to wiggle myself between his knees.
When the hell did I get this close to him?
As I look down into Easton's eyes, I get lost in those baby blues. From this close, I can see the plentiful array of freckles that graces his nose.
They're subtle from far away, but I am not far away from him right now.
His auburn hair catches the light that comes in from his office window, and his warm tan skin looks smooth to the touch. I'm looking at his lips before I can stop myself, wondering what it might feel like if that five o’clock shadow rubbed against my skin again.
“Do you need to get back to work?” My voice sounds shaky, a tremble ringing through with each word.
“Not right away.” Easton smirks. It’s so small, though, so I could be wrong. I could be seeing things.
My eyes roam over his face, and it hits me that he’s wearing glasses.
“When did you start wearing glasses?”
Easton chuckles. “The very moment I became old.”
I can't help but laugh back.
“They're only for reading, but that applies to when I'm using the computer.”
He takes them off, setting them on his desk. I see the little indents on the side of his nose, and before I can stop myself, I reach for them, smoothing my thumb across his skin.
What are you doing?! Pull up, Hazel. Pull up!
But we've done this dance too many times, and I don't know if I want to pull back anymore.
I've felt him against my skin. I've felt him in between my legs on that bed when we were separated by jeans.
And I think I want more. I know I want more from him than this.
It’s stupid. I have no way of knowing where this is going, but I’m finding it harder and harder to care.
“Hazel…” Easton sounds pained, and then his hands are coming up my sides.
He squeezes me, urging me down just as I begin to sit on his lap. When I get there, everything feels so right, and I can make out the sensation of something hard pressing between us.
My thighs clench, arousal pooling. One of Easton’s hands leaves my waist, only to reappear on my cheek.
I can’t look away from him, and even though he’s pulling me toward him, he doesn’t have to. I’m well on my way to kissing Easton.
Our lips meet, and it’s like an electric shock. Every time we come together like this, it’s as if a storm has rolled in overhead.
It’s all thunder and lightning, but it’s also the calm patter of rain on the roof. The feeling of being safe and sound amid chaos.
“Hazel,” Easton murmurs against my lips, and I circle my hips, seeking more. “Are you sure?—”
“Shh.” I press more kisses to him. I’m not looking for logic right now.
I’ve been a bundle of raw nerves for too long, feeling fragile and broken after the attack. I just want to have something that’s for me.
Something special.
Easton doesn’t resist as I sweep my tongue across the seam of his lips, seeking entrance. He hoists me further onto his lap, and I let out a little yelp of surprise.
When we pause to catch our breath, I look up at him with a smile.
“This a nice shirt? Expensive?”
Cocking a brow at me, Easton smirks. “I mean, yes. Why?”
I fiddle with the buttons, putting my fingers between them and teasing that I might just consider tugging and ripping his damn shirt open.
A chuckle leaves him as his smile beams brighter. “Haha, there’s always more shirts. Go?—”
Snap.
Something breaks outside the office window, and I jump back, my eyes going to the glass. Is someone there? Is it that man?
Before I can process what I’m doing, I fling myself back from Easton, my back landing against the wall. My heart is pounding, my breaths rushing in and out of me as panic grips tight.
Oh god, oh god, oh god.
“Hazel, it’s probably nothing.” Easton comes over to me, putting his hands on my arms. “Try to breathe.”
I hear the words he’s saying, but they’re not getting through to my brain. All I can see is that man in the Halloween mask standing over me, his fist reeled back to punch.
I’m going to cry. I’m going to fucking break down and sob.
Shaking my head, I try to force the thoughts away, but it’s not working. I’m not looking at Easton. He’s right in front of me, but I’m staring at nothing, still seeing that damn mask.
Jade. Oh god. Jade is out there alone.
“I-I have to check on Jade. She’s alone. I…”
But I don’t finish, snapping into my body without another word and rushing out of the room to find her.