31. Brooks
THIRTY-ONE
Brooks
Why am I doing this? This is so fucking stupid. I’ve been in there plenty of times. What is it about now that’s making me so ? —
“Ugh,” I groan to myself, throwing my hands up before raking one through my hair.
Darby is in bed, thank God, and I’m still just standing out here, pacing in front of Clover’s door.
God, I’m pathetic.
And that’s the rub, isn’t it? Because I know precisely why I haven’t gone in yet. Nearly every part of me wants to go in that room and spend the night with Clover like I have been doing for the past few weeks, but…
This other tiny part of me realizes that this is more than what it was those few weeks ago. I’m not just wild with desire for her or intrigued by Clover’s attitude—feisty as it may be.
No, I’m also…falling in love with her.
“Which you’re not supposed to be doing. This was supposed to be casual.”
Stopping my relentless pacing, I lean back against the wall a few feet from Clover’s door. This whole situation is so much more complicated than I understood.
I’m going behind my friend’s back by “dating” her, and I know that by even just messing around with Clover, I’m making her return to New York that much harder.
Who does that?
I never should have done this. Now I’m messing up Clover’s life. The last thing she needs is some charity case to throw a sympathy bone to. Jesus fuck, what did I do?
My stomach churns, with all these familiar thoughts of being less-than-worth someone’s time roaring their ugly head. I’ve been okay at ignoring them lately, but now?
They’re everywhere, dogging me at every turn.
“You knew this was temporary,” I whisper to myself. “Why did you do this to yourself? God, I’m just hurting both of us.”
And hurt it’s going to. Clover is going to leave. Whether it’s to her dad’s house or all the way across the country, the woman I’m so utterly infatuated with is going to be leaving—soon.
As if my mind really wants to nail home the point, I look up and down the hall, my eyes finding the clock on the wall.
It’s ticking away, just tick, tick, ticking.
Our relationship—because I need to be honest and call it what it feels like—has an expiration date. It always did.
I wasn’t supposed to go and get attached like this. It was just supposed to be fun, but my chest literally aches at the thought of never seeing Clover again.
“This is ridiculous. You need to go.”
Pushing off the wall, I walk past Clover’s room, intent on burying my face under a pillow and screaming until I pass out.
But the door swings open.
Faltering, I step backward quickly, met with Clover’s glowing smile. Her brow furrows and that smile turns into a smirk, a quiet laugh trapped behind her lips.
“What are you doing?”
“I…” For a moment, I just stare at her, my brain spinning lines in my head until I land on one that doesn’t sound too much like a lie. “I wanted to congratulate you. You did so good tonight during the performance.”
None of that is untrue. She did do incredible, and I do want Clover to know that I’m impressed by her skills.
“Oh, well…thanks, Brooks. I’ll admit,” Clover looks up wistfully, her smile lifting her right cheek, “I really missed singing for people. I felt more like myself.”
My chest is going to crack right open. Logical Brooks is yelling in my head that I need to leave, but dammit, I just smile back at her.
“I can tell. You light up when you’re on stage. It’s like…your entire being opens and pours out this golden light. Everyone there tonight could feel it.” I remember the bitches from the bar. “Well, everyone with taste.”
Her cheeks turn this adorable pink, and I find myself stepping forward—closer to her.
“You’re way too sweet.” Clover shakes her head. “Golden light? My God, I had no idea you were such a poet.”
Rolling my eyes, I smirk, but that’s the thing about me. I don’t say what I don’t mean. “It’s true. Flowery words or not.”
Clover comes forward, just a few inches separating us now. “Well, I appreciate it. Truly . Your support means the world to me. I wouldn’t have gone up there and sang if it weren’t for what you said. The ‘light’ is entirely your fault. And a bit of Darby’s, too.”
She smiles at me, she tells me I’m responsible for helping her find that spark within her, and I just fucking melt.
Apparently, I’m a sap.
“Well…I like seeing you happy.” Again, it’s the truth, and I can’t deny that one either.
“Hmm,” Clover grins—all teases and promises—and she cocks a brow at me, “does that mean I don’t have to shovel shit anymore?”
I can’t help but laugh. Still, my mind comes back with a quip that stings like a paper cut you find while washing your hands.
You won’t have to for much longer, will you?
“Oh, now, what kind of boss would I be if I let you off easy?” I smile as the gentler part of me zeros in on how happy Clover looks. “Still…maybe I could forget about it for a day or two.”
“Luckiest girl in the world.” She leans forward, rising up on her tiptoes, and kisses me.
I hesitate to enjoy it, remembering how slippery of a slope this is. But the feel of her against me, her taste…I’m lost in no time.
My hands find her hips, pulling her tighter to my front, and I know she can feel how hard I am beneath my jeans.
Clover lets out a happy little moan, pulling back just a hair. “Spend the night with me.”
“After this morning with Darby?” I eye her. “You still want to chance it?”
But it’s not just that, now is it? I’m feeling… ways about all this. I’m mixed up and confused, and I know that sleeping with Clover won’t help that.
“Just actually get out of my bed this time.” She smirks, and dammit, I can’t fight that look. “Need I remind you that it was your fault you were still in my room.”
Chuckling, the pull Clover has on me strengthens, the worry I’ve been fighting slowly melting away.
“My fault? You’re the one with that perfect little pussy. How was I supposed to leave that unattended?”
The blush in her cheeks flares brighter, and my cock twitches against my zipper. I am falling for this woman. Every moment is pulling me farther and farther down.
Chewing on her lip, Clover looks away and then back at me, this delightful flirtation of hers.
“So, get in here.”
Despite everything, despite how I know I’m supposed to be protecting her—protecting myself—I can’t resist her. Clover is sunshine on a rainy day, and I’m too warm beneath her light to turn away from it.
I smile, and then Clover is pulling me down to her lips. The kiss is slow at first, but the passion builds, and I hoist her up onto my hips, walking us into her room and shutting the door behind us.
Fumbling with the lock behind my back, I get it turned over, keeping my lips tangled with Clover’s the entire time. As she moans against my mouth, I carry her to the bed.
I need her naked—now.
We’re a tangle of limbs, and I’m not sure what’s gotten into me, but I throw everything I have into experiencing this.
Maybe it’s because my head and body are on such separate wavelengths. Maybe it’s because thinking is just too goddamn much right now.
Yeah, probably that, Brooks.
I don’t consider it, though. I don’t let myself think. That’s not what I want right now, all I want right now is to feel Clover beneath me, leaving the world behind me.
We strip off our clothes in a hurry, and my lips are right back on hers. When the need comes for air, I barely take any, running my kisses down Clover’s body.
She moans beneath me, the best fucking sound in the world, and I keep going. I hardly stop or breathe and never think.
I need this. I need her…need my mind to just shut up.
Clover’s body, the feel of her soft skin beneath my hands, the taste of her pussy on my tongue, that’s what I need—so damn badly.
“Brooks,” she groans, and I give more.
I give everything.
I lick and suck and give, give, give. I can’t be in my head. I have to be right here, Clover’s slit pressed to my lips, her legs squeezing around me.
Her cries are muffled, but I take in each one, pulling them in like they’re the air I need to survive.
Eventually, Clover yanks me up her body, crashing her lips against mine as she pulls my hips forward. I sink into her, my cock bottoming out, and we both groan from the overwhelming pleasure.
She fits me like a glove, and I’ll never take her off. I could live here in this moment forever, and for now, that’s what I’m going to believe.
I’m going to believe I can be here—my Lucky wrapped around my shaft, taking me so well—and nowhere else.
“Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.”
Clover is close, her walls hugging me so fucking tightly, and I pump harder, ignoring the way my muscles burn, the way my previously broken arm is protesting how much I’m gripping the sheets beneath Clover’s hips.
That’s not real pain. The real pain will be when I have to watch her leave. That’ll be when I’m lying alone in bed again and likely…for the rest of my life.
But I’m not there. I won’t be there yet. I’m here, making love to this perfect woman, and I won’t think about anything else.
I can’t.
Surging around me, Clover falls apart, her pussy fluttering around my cock as the orgasm claims her. It calls for mine, but I can’t come—not yet.
I need more of this. So I keep going, flipping her around so that I can come up behind her. Clover cries out into the pillow, the down inside only just muffling the sound.
“That’s it, darlin’. Come again. Come again for me.”
“Brooks…it’s so much…ugh!” She grips the pillow till her knuckles turn white. “Oh…yesss…”
My cock thickens, every move and sound from Clover is enough to send me right over the edge, but I love this too much to stop.
Just a little longer.
When she falls apart again for me, for a third time, I can’t hold back anymore, and I lose myself in her, emptying myself into Clover.
My Lucky Clover.
The world around us starts to solidify again, but I keep it at the edge of my awareness. I need this feeling for just a bit longer.
At least…that’s what I tell myself.