Chapter 7
CARA
I smooth down my hair quickly as the older woman finishes the dishes, trying to make myself look as put-together and trustworthy as possible. I’m about to ask her for a huge favor, after all, and I need to make certain that I give myself a fighting chance of her actually saying yes.
I tossed and turned all night, trying to figure out what it was I needed to do about this situation with Alex. And, eventually, I came to the conclusion that my sister was right—that I need to get out of here, not just for my safety, but for Nina’s.
But I can’t just pack up our stuff and take off in the middle of the night, no matter how tempting that might be.
That’ll just cause suspicion, and the last thing I want is to give this a man reason to come looking for me when all is said and done.
No, I’m going to hand in my notice as though this is just any other normal job.
Because, as far as anyone knows, that’s still exactly what I see it as.
“Marsha?”
The woman looks up and nods to me in greeting as she dries her hands.
I know she’s the one who runs this household.
I’ve already run into her once, when she came to the kitchen to make sure we had enough food.
She seems pretty no-nonsense, and I figure the best course of action is to just come out with whatever is on my mind once and for all.
“Cara,” she replies. “The new nanny, aren’t you?”
I nod. “Yeah, I… I was actually hoping I could talk to you about that,” I reply, offering her a broad smile in the hopes of couching some of what I’m about to say next. “There’s been a... a chance of circumstances.”
She leans back against the counter, not saying a word, but nodding her head at me to carry on. I twist my hands in front of myself, trying to dissolve some of the nervous energy that’s coursing through my system.
“Uh, yeah, my grandmother, it turns out she had a fall,” I explain quickly, running through the story that I came up with in my head and rehearsed a hundred times over before I came out to see her.
“And she needs someone to move in and look after her, so I think the best thing for me and Nina would be to go live upstate with her for a while. I don’t mean to leave you like this, but you get it, it’s family, right. ..?”
I trail off as I wait for her to say something, but I find myself met with only the cool gaze that she’s been giving me since the moment I stepped into the room.
“So, um, do you think you would be able to let Alexei know?” I ask her. “I can stick around as long as it takes to get the new nanny, I’m sure you had so many applicants so I don’t think it will be hard to find a—”
“No.”
I stare at her for a moment, my eyes wide. “I’m sorry, what?”
“No, you can’t leave.”
My knees tremble beneath me. This is not how I imagined this conversation going, not by a long shot, but the way she’s looking at me, I’m getting the feeling this is not a conversation she’s particularly interested in having with me.
“But I just told you,” I attempt once more. “My grandmother had a fall, and she needs someone to—”
“Pay someone to be there for her,” she replies bluntly. “I’m sure Pakhan Kurenko is paying you well enough for it, yes?”
I blink. “I mean, yes, he’s paying me well—”
“Then you can send someone there to take care of her,” she replies dismissively. “You should stay. It’s only right.”
She pats a loose strand of hair back into the gray-streaked bun at the back of her head.
She is not speaking cruelly, that’s not quite it – she is speaking as though there is no conversation to be had here at all, and it is entirely throwing me off.
I thought that she would understand, that she would see where I was coming from at once and give me what I was asking for, but instead, she’s coming at me as though I’m being ridiculous for even mentioning the possibility of such a thing.
“I don’t think you’re hearing me,” I tell her, gritting my teeth slightly as I remind myself of the importance of this. “I have to go. You’ll just have to tell Alexei that—”
“He will not take the news well.” She speaks calmly, but her voice is laced with a warning, a warning that sends a shiver down my spine, a warning that I’m clearly meant to heed.
“What do you mean?”
“Pakhan Kurenko likes things in order,” she explains, pouring herself a coffee and taking a sip. “When he’s chosen someone to join his household, he does not do so lightly. And you would do well to remember that.”
“Are you threatening me?” I exclaim, shock flooding my system.
“No,” she replies evenly. “I’m warning you. I would not want you to get on the wrong side of that man. Not with all the power he has.”
I consider her words for moment, thinking back, briefly, to the way my sister reacted when she found out the man I was going to be working for. She was scared, no doubt about it, and that means he has power that even she can’t wrap her head around.
The kind of power that might mean he could come after me if, all of a sudden, I was to drop out of our agreement.
“He wouldn’t like the idea of someone coming in, seeing his house, meeting his son, and then leaving,” she continues. “He is very careful about who he lets into this place. And he might see it as a betrayal of his trust if you were to go without any good reason.”
“I gave you my reason…”
“And I gave you the very same answer he will,” she replies. “All I’m saying, Cara, is that you should be careful what you do now that you’re here in his home.” Her tone has a finality to it, and I can sense that she is finished with this conversation.
I stand there, mouth agape, as I try to catch up with it. She’s basically telling me if I were to leave, I would be attracting the attention of the kind of man who… who what?
That’s the thing that I can’t make sense of. I don’t know just how far this goes, how dangerous this might be if I don’t play my cards right, but it seems like, whether I like it or not, I might be on the brink of finding out.
I turn to leave the kitchen, my head spinning so much that I can barely remember the code to get back into my part of the mansion. All of a sudden, I’m aware of all the guards around this place, the way they watch me as I move through the main hall.
How could I’ve been so naive as to think a place like this could have been safe for my daughter?
The moment the car pulled up outside it, I should have thought better of it, I should have told them to turn around and take me back to my entirely unremarkable life so I could at least be sure I was safe...
When I reach Nina again, she is perched at the counter, finishing her breakfast. She looks up at me and gives me a big smile, and my heart drops, knowing how badly I’ve let her down.
“Hey, Mommy!” she exclaims, and she comes over to give me a hug. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight, pressing my face into her hair and drawing in the scent of her, trying to remind myself that, at least for now, she’s alive and well.
“Hey, baby,” I whisper. And, as I hold her there, I swear to myself that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
This man, whoever he is, whatever he is capable of, I won’t let him trap us here.
I’ve already experienced that before, that feeling of the walls closing in around you, the feeling that, no matter what you do, you’ll never be able to escape.
And I’ve sworn for as long as I’ve known about her that I’ll never let that happen to Nina. She will never go through those same experiences I did, the same suffering, the same fear and sense that she will never be able to live her own life.
I just have to try and keep things as normal as I can for her as long as we’re here, and I’ll be able to get us both out of this in one piece.
At least, that’s what I have to tell myself, if I want to keep from losing my mind entirely.